Disney

"How do I controlled the world?"

The crude, grotesque mascot of Das Mausefalle. Note the cold, unconcerned stare and the mocking grimace.

Disney, also known as Die Mausefalle (The Mousetrap), is an entertainment company, created by Walt Disney. (See also). Upon posthumous commands from Führer Disney himself, current Disney Kompanieführer Robert Iger commands troops from (insert insane number) factions of old media as well as teh internets. With the use of said troops, Kompanieführer Iger furthers the eventual goal to make us all brainwashed, 16 year old, yiffing flamersticks so that we may be the hookers to his Blow. Above all, Disney is a master at the art of IRL trolling, sending 16-year-old stars out to their doom.

Disney History

Disney was started at the same time as McDonalds, when two Swedish midgets called Ronald McDonald and Walt Disney turned to each other in their concentration camp cell and started scheming the best ways to pwn children's money. Their dastardly Jew plan was to create food and films that appeal to pedophiles who would spend all their money in cinemas and restaurants, watching children having fun.

After pedophilia became illegal in 1948, in his depression Walt Disney created suicidemouse.avi in a vengeful attempt to cause the mass suicide of children. He had to appeal to other audiences, so Disney started preying on colored folks. [1] But slavery was abolished and white-ass crackers forgot black people existed and only about 100 people saw the cartoon. Disney's next move was at multiculturalism, to show people of all races having fun and living in harmony. [2]

Disney also cared about animals and liked to push innocent lemmings off of cliffs.

Typical scene.

But that was bullshit and Disney was banned from the internets, so he got a job making serious news programs for the azns and was criticized when Japanese people wrote in, complaining that they could tell the difference between the characters. [3]

So Disney gave up and made pro-Nazi movies. These were received with universal acclaim, since everyone hated everyone else and every child wanted to be a Nazi. Herren Hare, Mister Mouse and Fuhrer Frog became the most popular cartoon characters EVA!!!![4] [5]

Walt Disney died in 1966 (actually nobody cares when he died), breaking his neck while fellating himself. Some time later, his brother Ray "Krock" Disney tried to merge the company with McDonalds. After this failed his other brother and sometimes lover, Roy, took over and ran the company into the ground by releasing terrible movies. In 1980 he was slaughtered in a coup by Michael the Eisner who ruled with an iron fist. His known sexscapades with the seven dwarves stirred much controversy. Most recently Mr. Eisner was killed by an assassin in a Goofy costume, rumored to be Steve Jobs.

Nowadays, the only people who watch Disney are creepy bastard furfags, who like to pretend they're fellating "the Beast", or something similarly sick, with Minnie Mouse, etc. The other audience seems to be fat 16-year-old girls, who obsess about Disney, because they have such a princely high standard. They will settle for a drunken wife-beater at age 30. Also facebook hoes who are to braindead to watch any good shows or movies.

The Disney Theme Park

Disneyland loves children.

Go on Big Thunder, "It's killer" they said.

Typical scene at Walt Disney World. Furries are inescapable. Previous Video | Next Video

Orgy Time!

Kids love Mickey Mouse.

Terrorists track down Mickey.

Disneyland (also known as Mauschwitz or Das Judenland) is known for being the shittiest place in the universe, since you have to wait several hours in the line, just to be in the ride around 10 minutes and listen to a 30 minute speech about how short life is. Normal people stay as far away as possible because (cost aside) it is filled with single, 40 something feminists dragging their 10-year-old daughters around by the arm, goths, gays, fatties, emos, Eurofags and a few Japanese. The only good thing to pass time there is revealing the truth and watching how the little kids are scared to death when Mickey Mouse takes off his head to show the person that really is. Which is what the kids deserve. You would have to be some kind of sick fuck to enjoy dressing up like a cartoon character and touching kids.

The only thing moar stupid than the park itself are the people who buy year-long passes. They are those zombie-like basement dwellers who show up EVERY FUCKING DAY, believe that they have the same entitlement as the company's executives and shareholders and be super anal about "their park" and therefore get pissed when they are treated the same as everyone else or find a screw missing from a trashcan, then put dirty diapers inside the towel hampers instead of using 'that broken trashcan'. These peoples lulz is to piss off everyone around them as much as they can, then complain to the employees so they can get as much free crap from Disney as possible. They can be spotted by the Mr. T style necklaces covering their shoulders. Instead of being made of gold, 80's and win, the "lanyards" as they are called are covered in pins that are pure AIDS and FAIL. These pins are a status symbol; the more you have the cooler you are and they are often traded for money, sexual favors and sold at exorbitant prices to children trying to get in on the trading fun. The artsy photographer pass holders flock around the characters proving that they too are closet furries.

Commonly these pass holders will drone on about how terrible or awful things are in the parks and in the same sentence will tell you about how they keep up with all the changes no matter how insignificant. The term most belched from the pass holders or "p'assholes" as they show their Disney issued I.D. card is "how much of a discount do I get?". If they wanted to save money they would have not spent $10.00 on a hamburger or $5.00 on a drink.

Keep in mind there are only a few ways to see Disney parks:

1. When it is crowded and hot as fuck
2. Crowded and raining (Christmas)
3. When there are boards and walls up over most of the park, which is about 70% of the time.

When you do get to see everything you find that Disney Parks have 4 fun types of rides. There is a dark ride with black lights and swerving cars, boat rides through tunnels - there are several of these, all giving you a "tour", spin rides and roller coaster rides. Once you've waited in line long enough to pass out from the heat and get inside, it is customary to close the ride just after waiting a little over one hour. This usually results in rage by those who have dared to think anything is actually going to change since the last time they tried. The rage from those turned away can be a source of great fun to those only wishing to observe other people. To increase the effect, inform those people who are going to complain that crying is anti-American and not supporting Disney means Al Qaida wins.

Fat people also get stuck in the rides causing closures. It is almost impossible to witness, but worth every second of wait to watch them squealing like a stuck pig. Considered by many as the reason to even go on the rides.

Disney Movies

Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Maüs!

Disney really tries to get their stars to branch out these days, gone are the days of Annette Funicello, this is Vanessa Hudgens, star of Disney's High School Musical.

Disney got rich by making, or rather shitting all over, stories that had been within the Public Domain since at least the 1800s however... they will sue and/or threaten anybody who tries the same thing... claiming theft of "Intellectual Property" or some such bullshit to cover-up their butthurt.

In your typical Disney movie the characters sing their lungs inside-out over love, life, friendship, and other such whiny emo-crap. The goal of any Disney movie is simply to enable parents to avoid spending time with their families and save a few bucks on a babysitter. Simply slam in a Disney DVD, press Play and you can have buttsecks with your wife, husband, or drunken incestuous sister/teenage daughter safe in the knowledge that your children are enjoying such wholesome fare as The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, The Fox and the Hound, Beauty and the Beast, or Snow White.

Over 99% of Disney movies depict some 16-year-old girl liking some Fucktard solely because he is famous, aristocratic, or has money. This is where being true to life ends. Except for that one movie in which the girl is kidnapped, raped, and ends up with Stockholm syndrome. Or the one where a fox and a hound become the best of friends. Why don't they foreshadow life itself for a change? Quit filling kids' heads with notions of "Happy Endings" and talking candlesticks or friendship!

Some long lost Disney scenes showcasing alternate endings [6]

Science has proven that allowing your children to watch Disney movies will turn them Ghey.

OMGG!!! Zac is teh hots!!! His eyes are liek, so cute!!! He's a pretty cool guy and doesn't afraid of anyething in his sexy haircut!!!11!!1!! The scariest thing about Disney. Another scene from the same movie. OHHH NOEEEEES NOT MUMMY DEER!!! Family Guy, proving that Disney hates Jews (Accepted in Mexico). The Black Cauldron: a story about a pig boy, some banhammer of a sword and a retarded dog-thing named Gurgi aka Gollum. Previous Video | Next Video

Disney Today

GO TO SLEEP.

Disney is family entertainment.

Disney is now known for its family entertainment. The sordid history has long since been forgotten by all but a few, and, thus, people get very upset when you disparage any of Disney's otherwise clean-cut characters. Disney now makes only movies geared toward 12 year old girls, such as Camp Rock. They also churn out awful direct-to-video sequels and take credit for films made by other, better companies such as Miramax and Pixar.

Thus, all of Disney's revenue now comes from its TV shows, Lindsay Lohan and its popular theme parks, Disneyland and Disneyworld (The fact that Disneyland is located in Orange County, California and Disneyworld is located in Orange County, Florida is to pay homage to how Walt loved having cans of Agent Orange shoved in his ass).

Disney owns some land in Europe, where actors are encouraged to yiff on camera [7], which is the only exciting thing to happen there since most people there prefer theme parks based on their own crappy characters.

Disney has been very busy hiring sick pedophile fucks into their company. This practice is very prominent in the last few years, as shown in the making of Loli and Stitch, which is a cartoon about extraterrestrial bestiality, Winnie the Pooh and other stuff that nobody dares to point out, for fear of being pwnt by the Disnimati.

They just bought Marvel Comics. Enjoy the crossover comics and movies.

Television Shows

Moulding little girls in to whores since 1962.

When Disney creates a show, they'll almost always cancel it after around 65 episodes. As a rule, all Disney shows must have the character's name in the title. Recent pieces of shit released have been titled Hannah Montana, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, Life with Derek, JONAS, Phil of the Future, and That's So Raven. Notice that the stars of these shows also have music careers. "Corey In The House" is a popular show, largely because of a young girl, "Madison Pettis". A trademark of a Disney show is its hideous puns, stereotypical characters forced laugh-tracks, and overused and unoriginal plots. Of course, this is fucking hilarious. Also, these shows were copied by Nickelodeon, with shows like iCarly and Victorious. But for some reason, iCarly took at least 100 episodes to finally be cancelled, but Victorious only took 60, and their latest shitcom, How To Rock, was cancelled after only 26 episodes. They also cancelled another hit shitcom, Bucket & Skinner's Epic Adventures, after only 26 episodes also.

How to make your own Disney TV show!

Just fill in the blanks and have fun with your "original" plot!

	“	(Title) is a show where (Main Character) who goes to (Fictional High/Middle/Prep School) who tries to be normal because she is a (Secret Agenda) and has to hide it	„
	—Srsly

Make your own Disney movie plot

No Exceptions.

Follow this simple outline and you too can produce your own blockbuster hit and make millions of dollars:

Once upon a time in a faraway land, there lived a young (boy/girl) who had tragically lost (his/her) (mother/father/both parents). One day, an (evil/old/homosexual/ethnic stereotype/hero) villain devises a (sinister plot) and takes over the entire kingdom with (bumbling, comic-relief sidekick) voiced by (Gilbert Gottfried/Cheech Marin/Patrick Warburton/The guy who played Charles on M*A*S*H). Though shy and reluctant at first, our hero eventually rises up with courage after suffering another horribly traumatic event somehow involving said dead parents. With the help of a (talking animal/fat guy/inanimate object) voiced by (Robin Williams/John Goodman/Tim Allen/Rosie O'Donnell/The guy who played Charles on M*A*S*H), (he/she) will defeat the villain despite impossible odds and everybody learns a lesson about (kindness/honesty/friendship/family values/whatever). Just add a soundtrack with (Christina Aguilera/Hilary Duff/Elton John) and you're set.

"Borrowed" ideas

Anyone for moar venison?

For those who believe Disney to be creative:

• The Big Bad Wolf and the 3 Little Pigs - James Orchard Halliwell, 1853.
• Pinocchio - Italian children's story, published in 1883 by Carlo Collodi.
• Dumbo - written by Helen Aberson, drawn by Harold Pearl. First showed up on backside of cereal package. Also the first Disney flick about mice (not counting Steamboat Willie).
• Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs - Brothers Grimm, 1812.
• Bambi - by an Austrian, Felix Salten in 1923
• The Fox and the Hound - by an unpopular American author named Daniel P. Mannix, released in 1967, however the movie and book are about as different as night and day. Also one of two Disney movies about bestiality (the other is Beauty and the Beast).
• Robin Hood - Very old British folk tale. Disney's version, however, has anthropomorphic animals in lieu of the human characters.
• Aladdin - From "1001 Arabian Nights" author unknown, 600~800AD.
• Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll, 1865.
• 101 Dalmatians - Dodie Smith, 1956.
• The Hunchback of Notre Dame - Victor Hugo. Some argue that the movie was trolling English majors, as they left out the lulzy stuff like Judge Frollo being a Necrophile wanting to fuck a gypsy's remains.
• The Lion King - a mash up of Osamu Tezuka's Kimba the White Lion and Shakespeare's play about a Danish Prince. And if that's not enough, they also made a sequel called The Lion King II: Simba's Pride, which is basically the Disney version of Romeo and Juliet but in the pridelands and with furries.
• The Jungle Book - by Rudyard Kipling in 1894.
• Mary Poppins - By P.L. Travers in 1934. They even made a boring movie about Walt used his manipulative powers to make Mary Poppins.
• Hercules - Greek myth. It can be argued that this movie was trolling English majors, because they left out all the really lulzy/gay stuff, like slaughtering his family and dressing up as a handmaid for a year. Also, nobody watches it because of how lame it is.
• Treasure Planet - Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson, 1883.
• The Black Cauldron - The Chronicles of Prydain by Lloyd Alexander.
• The Sword in the Stone - T. H. White, 1938.
• The Little Mermaid - by H.C. Andersen, an unpopular Danish author in 1837.
• The Rescuers - a series of novels by a British lady. Also had a sequel entitled The Rescuers Down Under in 1990. Rescuers Down Under is also unique for not having songs like most Disney movies. Both of the Rescuers movies also continue the mice movies trend (Dumbo and Cinderella were the first two with mice as major characters.
• The Great Mouse Detective - by an unpopular Britfag author in 1958 about a mouse-sized Sherlock Holmes.
• Winnie the Pooh - Stolen from the stories of A. A. Milne, and is probably the only Disney movie to actually follow the source material without changing anything. And not to mention that the movie spanned about a zillion and 9 sequels and spinoffs TV-shows, characters, merchandise, ect.
• Aaron Stone - was stolen from a show called Ace Lightning.
• Minutemen - was stolen from Back to the Future.
• Phil of the Future - was also stolen from Back to the Future.
• Wizards of Waverly Place - was stolen from Harry Potter and iCarly.
• High School Musical - "Grease" or "Hairspray".
• Gizelle (character in Enchanted) - from a Mexican painting.
• Atlantis - Plato's Timaeus and Critias, 360 BC. And also Nadia: The Secret of Blue Water by Jules Verne.
• Lilo and Stitch - borrows some elements from E.T. the Extraterrestrial such as a family torn apart, an alien that brings them back together, etc.
• Oliver and Company - Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens, but set in New York with a bunch of talking dogs and with Oliver as a cat.
• The Aristocats - Stolen from two others of Disney's own movies, 101 Dalmatians and Lady and the Tramp. Also launched the famous joke of the same name.
• Bolt - Stolen from Toy Story (but with a dog instead of a space ranger) and from The Rescuers (but with a dog and not two mice).
• Meet the Robinsons - Stolen from Meet the Parents.
• Chicken Little - Stolen from the fairly tale, from Chicken Run, and from War of the Worlds.
• Home on the Range - Stolen from Charlotte's Web and Animal Farm. Later remade by Nickelodeon Movies as Barnyard and by Sony Pictures Animation as Open Season. Also, Barnyard stole from Lion King, Toy Story, and Charlotte's Web as well, and Open Season stole from Bambi and Shrek, as well as Ice Age, Madagascar, and many others.
• Tangled - Stolen from the fairy tale of Rapunzel.
• Frozen - Stolen from H.C. Andersen's "The Snow Queen" in 1844.
• Big Hero 6 - Stolen from Marvel's superhero team of the same name.

Disney is now running out of fairy tales.

Links

• Did Disney Steal Nemo?
• Hannah Montanna: Another Stolen Idea?
• The Lion King: Stolen or not?
• How Disney Corp. jewed writers out of the rights to their own work, bankrupted a former employee, tried to take works out of the public domain, and baselessly threatened a legal academic in their pursuit of spurious intellectual property rights (such as the "ownership" of Mickey Mouse himself).

"Role Models"

A role model for the children.

Since the creation of Disney, they've been a really big help in getting little girls' self-esteem up. It first started with Disney Princess, who helped as much as Barbie girl, but, as opposed to Barbie making every black girl wish that they had straight hair, Disney Princesses make every 1-90 year old girl/woman wait for the shining prince charming. Which is the reason why you're a virgin.

	“	Typical Disney Princes "Influence". Bitch doesn't probably know that "no meat" = "no growing", "no growing" = "no boobs", "no boobs" = "no prince charming."	„
	—Caption

BDSM Pride agenda

Goofy is a dog. He lives in a house, wears clothes and speaks.

He is friends with Mickey.

Mickey is a mouse. He lives in a house, wears clothes, and speaks.

Mickey owns Pluto.

Pluto is a dog. He lives in a kennel, wears nothing but a collar, and never speaks.

Gallery

About missing Pics

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  Who the fuck would find Goofy sexy?
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  Bambi gets raped by a hunter.
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  Disney also caters to emos.
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  A short history of Disney.
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  Jasonspeaks, the prime example of a Disneyfag.
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  Selena Gomez, role model.
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  Note the knives. Just a small sample of Disney preparing the youth to "join or die."
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  WHAT IS THIS YOU SPEAK OF?!
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  Some argue that Disney places secret messages in their movies.
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  Others argue that these messages are not so secret.
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  Pedophiles.
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  Disney makes children feel worthless.
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  That's right, Disney is to blame for children's eating disorders and unrealistic expectations.
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  Disney fans are fucked up.
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  Still think Disney is for kids?
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Subliminal Images

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• File:The Little Mermaid Priest with an erection boner Sexual Subliminal Imagery copies new and old compared of Disney.jpeg
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• File:Porn Computer Andy Toy Story 3 Three Subliminal Message Hidden Grotesque Children Kids Innocence Sexual.png
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Finding it hard to believe that Disney would deploy subliminal imagery?

• 39 Disney movies that contain subliminals
• Survey of genuine subliminal images at Disney resorts

See Also

• Ashley Tisdale
• Toontown
• Pixar
• Dirty Disney Confessions
• Disney Princes
• Gaston
• Gravity Falls
• Final Fantasy, which uses a similar plot-writing method.
• Bambifan101 - an obsessed fantard.
• DisneyFan01
• Mouseboy - Notable Donald Duck porn maker.
• Mickyy Moo
• Jasonspeaks
• Kovu 01
• Jonas Brothers
• Jews - They run Disney
• Pooh's Adventures
• Wayhne El Porch
• Lemonade Mouth
• Brooklynlover
• Frozen

External Links

• A Report for your Fifth Grader to Plagiarize
• Disney is evil!
• The Three Rs lays into Disney and specifically Hollywood Records
• Minnie Mouse sex tape
• Minnie gets groped by 60 year old man!
• a badly made Chinese version
• Some Disney characters like to get drunk
• Pluto gets pissed off!

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