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Revision as of 18:03, 20 January 2024
Hey! | This article isn't lulz just yet, but its coverage can spark a lollercoaster. You can help by reverting people who delete shit, and vandalizing their user pages. See this article on Google? Want to add something? Join us! |
BREAKING NEWS!! Billy Mitchell's lolsuit against Twin Galaxies is finally over! |
William James Mitchell, Jr. (a.k.a. The King of Kong The World's Tallest Midget, Garrett Bobby Ferguson, Giant Bearded Face and Silly Bitchell) is a 59-year-old gamer and a cheater who is most well known for looking like a washed up Kenny Loggins on meth and for having a forehead that's almost as big as Ritsu Tainaka's. Once upon a time, Billy claimed to have some high-scores on some video games made during the Civil War and crowned himself THE KING OF KONG, complete with making a plaque for himself claiming it was from Namco, and used this to gain clout and fame, until some dorks analyzed the footage and proved conclusively he cheated, much like his friend and suspected gay lover Todd Rogers. He had his high-scores for Donkey Kong, Pacman, and Custer's Revenge wiped off the official scoreboards and probably about three people cared. Now, the amount of "fame" one gets from this is about the amount of fame you get for inventing a hilarious new meme, and people cheat all the time, so why should you OR your friends at Encyclopedia Dramatica care? Why are we even wasting the bandwidth talking about a scruffy afghan hound who plays video games for a living?
Because, rather than say LOL INTERNET, Billy decided to also go for the Lolcow high-score and launched Lolsuits against Twin Galaxies arcade, the group that called him a cheater. Then he launched a lolsuit against Youtuber Karl Jobst for calling him a con man in one of his videos about Todd Rogers. Then he sued Regular Show for Garret Bobby Ferguson. Then he sued Jobst again when Jobst started spewing out video after video about him for the lulz. Then he sued David Race, the actual Pac Man world record holder, for farting in an elevator. The fella basically Barbara'd himself to the point that the whole fucking planet only knows him as "that guy who sues people for the equivalent of a grade school playground argument", and ensured himself a place in our Rogues Gallery for all eternity... or until the next country takes our site down. Whichever comes first.
In early 2024, he settled his Twin Galaxies settlement: much like the much lulzier Vietnam War, both sides decided it was too expensive, walked away, and declared victory. Twin Galaxies didn't restore his records to their leaderboard, or even unban him, but they did create a "historic records" section that hosts his old records. Which is like if the Olympics had a "historical medalists" list that had Lance Armstrong and Marion Jones on it. Pretty much the lulziest thing to come of this was Billy gloating that "he won the lawsuit and his records were reinstated on Twitter" only to be fact-checked by the community and then delete the tweet... and Karl Jobst's "Billy Lost The Lawsuit" video which desperately tries to spin this as a loss between long puffs of Copium. 99% of civil suits end in settlement; nobody should be surprised.
Billy Appears on Regular Show
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Other Videos
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See Also
- Todd Rogers - Billy's butt buddy and partner in crime.
- William Atchison - Someone who got a slightly higher score than Billy.
- Streisand Effect - What happens when you try to use the legal system as a club to win a "I'm better at video games than you" argument.
Billy Mitchell is part of a series on Web 1.0 |
[ANCIENT HISTORY] Old Memes •
Celebs, h4x0rz, and Phreaks •
Technologies •
Fun and Games •
Events •
Death of Web1.0
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Billy Mitchell is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |
Billy Mitchell is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |
Article of the Now January 18 and 19, 2024 | ||
Preceded by Religion |
Billy Mitchell | Succeeded by Cannibalism |