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Gabriel Wortman: Difference between revisions

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Revision as of 20:42, 13 August 2023

Gabriel Wortman
Born July 5, 1968
Nationality: Canlamedian  
Occupation Denturist, RCMP hobbyist
Highscore 22 killed, 3 injured
Top 50? 25th
Style FPS, singleplayer
An Hero? No, killed by police

Gabriel Wortman was a 51-year-old from Nova Scotia and a pretty cool guy who, in 2020, decided to troll the entire country of Canada by pulling a real life GTA via putting on a police uniform, driving around Nova Scotia and pwning as many n00bs as he could. In 13 hours, he managed to slaughter 22 people, beating Marc Lépine's Canadian High Score. He also shot three others, but they managed to survive. Eventually, he decided that he was too much of a pussy to become an hero, so he let the pigs pwn him.

After Gabriel's lulzfest, Canada's Prime Minister Justin Trudeau got so butthurt that he decided to ban the fuck out of guns. This DEFINITELY means there will be no more mass killings.

The Attacks

Level 1: Portapique

Gabriel started his rampage at his cottage in Portapique by beating the shit out of his girlfriend, burning the cottage and confining her to his fake police car. His girlfriend somehow managed to escape and hide. Gabriel then slaughtered a couple at their home before trying to burn the house to the ground. He then killed a woman who mistook him for a pig. Minutes later, Gabriel injured one of his neighbours, who survived, before driving off.

Level 2: Wentworth Valley

After arriving in Wentworth Valley, Gabriel pwn3d two people that he knew, as well as their two dogs, before staying at their house for 3 FUCKING HOURS. When he finally left, he set the house on fire. He then killed two others, before going to a house in Glemholme, where people who he knew were, and demanded them the occupants to let him. Obviously, the occupants refused, so Gabriel drove off.

Level 3: Debert and Shubenacadie

In Debert, Gabriel stopped two cars by pretending to be a police officer before pulling a jk on the occupants and slaughtering them. After this, he pulled over a police car and shot at the officer in the car, only injuring him. Gabriel then collided his car with another police car before pwning the driver. A motorist stopped to help the dead driver, only to be pwn3d by Gabriel. Gabriel then killed a woman he knew at her home in Shubenacadie, before stealing her car and driving off.

Level 4: Truck Stop

After stopping his stolen car at a truck stop, the police FINALLY caught up to Gabriel after 13 HOURS. Before Gabriel could do anything, the pigs shot at him, killing him and ending the lulzfest.

Reactions

Even though the shootings were completely forgotten because of the virus, that didn't mean there was still butthurt in the aftermath. Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau got scared that millions more Canadians would die in future mass shootings and, in May of 2020, decided to ban 'assault-style' firearms in Canada.

BUT THAT'S NOT ALL! In 2022, after releasing that banning assault rifles wasn't enough, Justin decided to ban handgun sales in Canada just in case there won't be another Gabriel Wortman.

BUT THAT'S STILL NOT ALL! In the same year he said he was banning handgun sales, Justin decided that the shit he was doing STILL wasn't enough and announced that he will go after 'some' hunting guns that are 'too dangerous in other contexts'.

Every gun enthusiast potential mass shooter in Canada right now.

Graded Score

Graded Score
Kill count: 22/20 Matched in kills with Patrick Crusius James Huberty.
Accuracy: 17/20 Killed 22 in 12 minutes 13 hours
Style: 15/20 Beat the shit out of his girlfriend before running amok in a police uniform
Butthurt: 20/20 Resulted in massive gun bans in Canada afterwards
Bonus: 20/20 Deadliest mass shooting in Canada's history
Total Score: 94/100 (A+)
Canada's version of Stephen Paddock
See full ranking


Wanted Level:
___________________

___________________


Vice Squad


Never Let Your Dreams Go Quietly Into The Night

See Also


Gabriel Wortman is part of a series on Are You Ready? [GAME OVERInsert Coin] Go!
Single Player Elite Hall of Fame

Adam LanzaAnders Behring BreivikAndrew KehoeAriana Grande MassacreBaruch GoldsteinBrenton TarrantCampo Elías DelgadoCho Seung-HuiDevin Patrick KelleyDong YanglingGabriel WortmanJack Gilbert GrahamJakrapanth ThommaJames HubertyLuby's massacreMartin BryantMutsuo ToiNice Truck Attack 2016Omar MateenPanya KhamrabPatrick CrusiusReina Nightclub MassacreSalvador RamosShinji AobaStephen PaddockTed BundyVladislav RoslyakovWilliam UnekWoo Bum-kon

Single Player Amateur Division

Aaron AlexisAlexandre BissonnetteAkbarzhon JalivovAli David SonbolyAnderson Lee AldrichAndrea PignaniAnton Lundin PetterssonArtyom KazantsevAudrey HaleBrandon Scott HoleBreda Highschool MassacreBreitscheidplatzBrenda Ann SpencerBruce Jeffrey PardoCapital Gazette ShootingCharles Whitman's TumorChris Harper-MercerConnor BettsDallas Police ShootingsDarrell BrooksDavid KatzDavid KozákDavid Malcolm GrayDeath to Traitors, Freedom for BritainDerrick BirdDeWayne CraddockDimitrios PagourtzisDimitrious GargasoulasDmitry VinogradovDylann Storm RoofElliot RodgerÉric BorelEuler Fernando GrandolphoFlemming NielsenFort HoodGabe ParkerGeorge SodiniGian Luigi FerriIan David LongIlnaz GalyavievJake DavisonJames Alex FieldsJames HolmesJared Lee LoughnerJason DaltonJason RodriguezJaylen FrybergJeffrey DahmerJeff WeiseJesse OsborneJiverly VoongJoe StackJohn Russel HouserJohn Wilkes BoothJonathan SapirmanJosef FritzlKhalid MasoodKimveer GillKip KinkelKongsberg Bow and Arrow RampageLam Kor WanMamoru TakumaMarc LépineMark BartonMark EssexMartin PeyerlMatthew de GroodMichael CarnealMichael Kenneth McLendonMichael RyanMikese MorseMr. SaariNathan GaleNghtmrchld26Nikolas CruzNoah EsbensenOrlando HarrisOtoya YamaguchiPatrick PurdyPayton GendronPekka-Eric AuvinenPetri GerdtRamadan Van ManRandy Robert StairRichard SpeckRobert BalesRobert BowersRobert CardRobert CrimoRobert HawkinsRobert LongRobert SteinhäuserRuslan AkhtyamovRyan PalmeterSantino William LeganSatoshi UematsuSayfullo SaipovStephen KazmierczakThe Twinkie ManThomas Matthew CrooksThomas Watt HamiltonTim KretschmerTimothy HendronTimur BekmansurovTJ LaneTobias RathjenTrystan Andrew TerrellTyler PetersonUnabomberWade Michael PageWalter SeifertWellington Menezes de OliveiraZhao ZeweiZug Massacre

Multiplayer Co-Op Mode

1-14 Jakarta AttacksAcademy ManiacsBoston Marathon BombingCharlie HebdoColumbineCrocus City Hall MassacreHiroshima and NagasakiISIS Paris Attack 13-11Jews did WTCLondon Bridge Attack 2017Medianeira School ShootingPearl HarborSan Bernardino ShootingSri Lanka 2019 Terrorist AttacksSuzano School ShootingTimothy McVeighZhaodong Massacre

Civilization and Great Prophets

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Banned From Scoring

Alex HribalAnthony WarnerAnton BichivinAsa CoonBen MoynihanBilly MitchellBrandon CleggBrian Isaack ClydeCharles BishopClay DukeDillon CosseyFaisal ShahzadFrank JamesHayden JagstHugo JacksonIlya IvanistovJohn EarnestKyle RittenhouseLaaiti EkenstéenLindsay Kantha SouvannarathLogan ClarkMAGABomberMikhail PivnevNasim AghdamNicky ReillyPhilip ManshausRichard ReidRyan RouthSam HydeSebastian BosseSol PaisStephan BallietTodd RogersWillem Van SpronsenWilliam AtchisonYou

 
[Stop shooting!Pull the trigger]
Gabriel Wortman is part of a series on Gun Control
Locus in quo:

Abilene Alleyway Shooting 🔫 Capital Gazette Shooting 🔫 Chris Dorner 🔫 Christchurch mosque attacks 🔫 Colorado Theatre Shooting 🔫 David Long 🔫 Dayton shooting 🔫 El Paso Walmart Shooting 🔫 Elliot Rodger 🔫 Gilroy Garlic Festival Shooting 🔫 Jacksonville Shooting 🔫 Kyle Rittenhouse 🔫 Marjory Stoneman Douglas School Shooting 🔫 Pulse Nightclub Massacre 🔫 Randy Stair 🔫 San Bernardino shooting 🔫 Sandniggers in Paris 🔫 Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre 🔫 Santa Fe High School Shooting 🔫 Shoahdown at the Synagogue of Doom 🔫 Las Vegas shooting 🔫 Texas church shooting 🔫 Umpqua Community College Shooting 🔫 Virginia Beach Shooting 🔫 Washington Navy Yard shooting 🔫 Youtube shooting 🔫

Supporters

Barack Obama 🔫 Christians 🔫 Concerned Mothers 🔫 Democrats 🔫 Dianne Feinstein 🔫 Government 🔫 The Kennedys 🔫 Kurt Eichenwald 🔫 Faggots 🔫 Liberals 🔫 Michael Bloomberg 🔫 Jews 🔫 SJWs 🔫 Sensitive people 🔫 Tara Strong 🔫 Trayvon Martin 🔫 Quinton Reviews

Main ideas:

Assault Rifle 🔫 Gun 🔫 Gun Control 🔫 Murder 🔫 Arson 🔫 Bombs 🔫 Mass Shooting 🔫 School Shooting 🔫

Haters gonna hate:

Daisy Hogg 🔫 Killers 🔫 Republicans

Acts of revenge:

Boston Marathon Bombing 🔫 Sandniggers in Paris 🔫 Ariana Grande Massacre 🔫 London Bridge Attack 2017 🔫 Capital Gazette Shooting

Objectors:

Charlton Heston 🔫 James Holmes 🔫 NRA 🔫 Osama Bin Laden 🔫 Republicans 🔫 People planning a massacre 🔫

Pre-2012 Gun Massacres

Columbine 🔫 École Polytechnique 🔫 Dawson College 🔫 Virginia Tech Massacre 🔫 Austin, Texas 🔫 NIU Valentine's Day Massacre 🔫 Hungerford Massacre 🔫 Anders Breivik

Gabriel Wortman
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