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Gabriel Wortman: Difference between revisions
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Revision as of 20:50, 13 August 2023
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| Gabriel Wortman | |
| Born | July 5, 1968 |
| Nationality: | Canlamedian 
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| Occupation | Denturist, RCMP hobbyist |
| Highscore | 22 killed, 3 injured |
| Top 50? | 25th |
| Style | FPS, singleplayer |
| An Hero? | No, killed by police |
Gabriel Wortman was a 51-year-old from Nova Scotia and a pretty cool guy who, in 2020, decided to troll the entire country of Canada by pulling a real life GTA via putting on a police uniform, driving around Nova Scotia and pwning as many n00bs as he could. In 13 hours, he managed to slaughter 22 people, beating Marc Lépine's Canadian High Score. He also shot three others, but they managed to survive. Eventually, he decided that he was too much of a pussy to become an hero, so he let the pigs pwn him.
After Gabriel's lulzfest, Canada's Prime Minister Justin Trudeau got so butthurt that he decided to ban the fuck out of guns. This DEFINITELY means there will be no more mass killings.
The Attacks
Level 1: Portapique
Gabriel started his rampage at his cottage in Portapique by beating the shit out of his girlfriend, burning the cottage and confining her to his fake police car. His girlfriend somehow managed to escape and hide. Gabriel then slaughtered a couple at their home before trying to burn the house to the ground. He then killed a woman who mistook him for a pig. Minutes later, Gabriel injured one of his neighbours, who survived, before driving off.
Level 2: Wentworth Valley
After arriving in Wentworth Valley, Gabriel pwn3d two people that he knew, as well as their two dogs, before staying at their house for 3 FUCKING HOURS. When he finally left, he set the house on fire. He then killed two others, before going to a house in Glemholme, where people who he knew were, and demanded them the occupants to let him. Obviously, the occupants refused, so Gabriel drove off.
Level 3: Debert and Shubenacadie
In Debert, Gabriel stopped two cars by pretending to be a police officer before pulling a jk on the occupants and slaughtering them. After this, he pulled over a police car and shot at the officer in the car, only injuring him. Gabriel then collided his car with another police car before pwning the driver. A motorist stopped to help the dead driver, only to be pwn3d by Gabriel. Gabriel then killed a woman he knew at her home in Shubenacadie, before stealing her car and driving off.
Level 4: Truck Stop
After stopping his stolen car at a truck stop, the police FINALLY caught up to Gabriel after 13 HOURS. Before Gabriel could do anything, the pigs shot at him, killing him and ending the lulzfest.
Reactions
Even though the shootings were completely forgotten because of the virus, that didn't mean there was still butthurt in the aftermath. Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau got scared that millions more Canadians would die in future mass shootings and, in May of 2020, decided to ban 'assault-style' firearms in Canada.
BUT THAT'S NOT ALL! In 2022, after releasing that banning assault rifles wasn't enough, Justin decided to ban handgun sales in Canada just in case there won't be another Gabriel Wortman.
BUT THAT'S STILL NOT ALL! In the same year he said he was banning handgun sales, Justin decided that the shit he was doing STILL wasn't enough and announced that he will go after 'some' hunting guns that are 'too dangerous in other contexts'.
Graded Score
| Graded Score | |
|---|---|
| Kill count: | 22/20 Matched in kills with |
| Accuracy: | 17/20 Killed 22 in |
| Style: | 15/20 Beat the shit out of his girlfriend before running amok in a police uniform |
| Butthurt: | 20/20 Resulted in massive gun bans in Canada afterwards |
| Bonus: | 20/20 Deadliest mass shooting in Canada's history |
| Total Score: 94/100 (A+) | |
Wanted Level:
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Vice Squad
See Also
- Stephen Paddock, current American High Score champion.
- Marc Lépine, former Canadian High Score champion.
- Alexandre Bissonnette, another Canadian mass shooter who killed less than half the amount of people Marc Lépine killed.
- Alek Minassian, if Gabriel Wortman used a van instead of guns.
- Thomas Hamilton, current British High Score champion, caused similar butthurt.
