ISIS Paris Attack 13-11

THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ. BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM.

BREAKING NEWS!! MUSLIMS DID IT!

French November 2015 Attacks
Nationality:	French
Highscore	Killed 130, injured 368
Top 25?	Yes, #3 of Co-Op mode
Style	Co-Op
An Hero?	Yes

On Friday the 13th, November 2015, de_paris was the site of a brutal game of Counter-Strike where the Terrorists Won. The normally gay city of Paris was rocked by some decidedly not gay shootings and bombings, leaving 130 French dead and 368 injured. France responded by finally closing its borders AFTER letting terrorist sand niggers in, and declaring a state of emergency. Around 100 of the dead were hostages killed in the Batacalan Theatre during the performance of Eagles of Death Metal, which, ironically, is NOT a Death Metal band at all. Survivors have claimed that death was preferable to listening to their music. On the plus side, all Parisian students then got Saturday off of school after the attacks. To the shock and amazement of the world, it appears at least eight persons of Arab descent with ties to ISIS were responsible for the carnage, although given that they were just trying to secure their virgins in Heaven, their actions may have been completely justified.

Perpetrators

Muslims join hands in celebration of peace

Just hours after President Obama declared that ISIS is contained and not gaining strength, the grateful Muslims of France, ever thankful for letting them take refuge from the shithole country of Syria, decided to show the French their appreciation in the time-honored tradition of their people. Of course, these peaceful followers of the merciful and loving Allah would not dream of any retribution for France's role in the bombing of ISIS in Syria, for Islam is a religion of peace.

The Party Begins

The peace celebrations began in the Bataclan Theatre where several of the paraders burst in and began shooting off celebratory gunfire at the assembled theatre patrons. This sent at least 80 of them into the loving arms of Allah and many others to one of France's lovely hospitals (to no doubt be cared for by sexy French nurses, the lucky bastards). Next, groups of celebrators took to some quaint French restaurants (where patrons were no doubt sipping hot espresso while smoking exotic cigarettes) and gave them a taste of delicious Arab culture that sent another 36 people into Paradise! And of course, nothing quite says "Europe" like a rousing game of soccer. So it was only natural that the loving Muslims would set off celebratory fireworks that allowed at least five more people to pass through the Gates of Heaven (even the visiting Germans were lucky enough to get in on this action). All in all, it was a joyous night of peace and love, putting forever to rest the fears of those naysayers who erroneously claimed that the Muslim influx into Europe would ever result in conflict or distress. A true victory for social justice.

Why do sandniggers hate France?

Frogland has a problem with sandniggers, with over 5 million of them infesting their pussy country, with the most in Marseilles. France also really enjoys making fun of Muhammed, like over at the Jewish newspaper Charlie Hebdo.

After sandniggers shot up Charlie Hebdo for years of blasphemy leaving 21 people dead, the cowardly Jewish liberal magazine decided to double down. One cartoonist survived the attack because he was a lazy Frenchman who slept in and was late for work; he drew the next cover. Regarding the terrorists, the cartoonist said: "At one point, they lost their sense of humour." Charlie Hebdo's next cover, Issue 1178, featured a cartoon of Muhammed shedding a single tear, and nearly 8 million copies were printed vs. the usual 60,000. After the attacks in January, at least 3.7 million people marched and rallied in France, with the most in Paris, the largest rally in French history since Paris was freed from the Nazis. People shouted "freedom" and "Charlie" and "we are not afraid!" The march included 46 world leaders like Frog President, Fish and Chips Prime Minister, Sausage Chancellor, Vodka Foreign Minister, and Bagel Prime Minister.

Those anti-terrorism rallies put an end to terrorism once and for all.

Just kidding. There have been at least 50 revenge attacks since the Charlie Hebdo shooting. For some reason, the continued blasphemy from Charlie Hebdo and millions of people supporting blasphemy didn't exactly warm the hearts of violent Mudslimes or put them in a forgiving mood. It's unknown whether terrorists have in fact "lost their sense of humour." Nevertheless, in a series of attacks ten months later, attacks that surely had nothing to do with blasphemy by Charlie Hebdo or the January rallies in Paris in support of blasphemy, at least 100 were killed in Paris and other parts of France. One gunman yelled "This is because of all the harm done by Hollande to Muslims all over the world!" Frogfag President Hollande later declared a state of emergency and closed the borders of Frogland. You know, to show that they were not afraid.

The effects of gun control in France

Al Qaeda did Charlie Hebdo, but ISIS (a splinter group of Al Qaeda) did 13/11 and outdid them with a higher score since ISIS has more dosh from looting Mosul's Central Bank. To recap 2015: France humiliates sandniggers, sandniggers attack Paris, France bombs Syria, sandniggers attack Paris, France bombs Syria, __________. Guess the next element in the sequence to win the prize: an all expenses-paid trip to beautiful Paris! Visit the Eiffel Tower! Go to a lovely street cafe! Enjoy a local music venue! See U2 and Coldplay perform live!

To further troll sandniggers, Charlie Hebdo put out a new cover featuring a Frenchman full of holes drinking champagne, which is haram to sandniggers. Families of victims loved the cover, since the blood pouring out of their recently alive loved ones was drawn with a different color, like all those commercials for tampons and Mortal Kombat.

Shooter Info

Puppy dog eyes: "My intent is to spread rainbows and happiness, not bombs and death."

At least one Belgian sandnigger, 26-year-old Abdeslam Salah Abdeslam, is currently in custody of the baguette-wielding authorities. Fun fact: French authorities questioned him at the border with Belgium, but let him go, after gazing deeply into his innocent Muslim puppy dog eyes. However, he has since been captured, and is expected to serve six months in a medium security French prison. After his release, he will live a life of peace before dying at an old age and finally getting his 72 virgins.

Born into an innocent Muslim family, Abby's older brother Brahim Salah Abdeslam spontaneously blew up in a busy cafe during the last level of GTA: Paris. Can happen to anybody, amirite?

Videos

The least gay day in Paris since WWII LOLFRANCE "Explosive" news coverage The most exciting thing from Paris since softcore porn Obeezy's 2 cents People flee the worst Eagles of Death Metal concert ever. Turkish soccer fans chant Allahu Akbar during moment of silence. Christian minister explains how France and Death Metal fans deserved it. Previous Video | Next Video

Quotes

“   The people that died in the explosions are now known as french fries.   „     —random youtuber     “   I aint seen one dead body on the #ParisAttacks #Prayers4Paris my ass…. #fuckparis #BlackLivesMatter   „     —@ONLY_THAMAN     “   If only white lives mattered to white people smh #ParisAttacks #ParisShooting #paris #FUCKPARIS #FUCKFRANCE   „     —@LOLatWhiteFear     “   #FuckParis those same motherfuckers wouldn’t give a fuck about these racist white boys over here terrorizing Black folks   „     —@MrHeroz4Hire     “   Surely Allah loves those who fight in His way. I will cast terror into the hearts of those who disbelieve. And kill them wherever you find them, and turn them out from where they have turned you out. And disbelief is worse than killing. And lo, by the will of Allah our bullets shall fly like eagles of death metal and pierce the bodies of the unbelievers and there will be an ocean of blood   „     —Quran 2:191 according to the religion of peace     “   O crusaders we are coming to you With bombs and rifles Wait for us.   „     —Sandniggers on Twitter, being typical Twatterfags     “   Allah akbar Yasterday night And to night There is very big big different To night is very good night just my light is ON   „     —ISIS on Twitter, and why Paris is called "The City of Lights"     “   How's that Syrian refugee resettlement look now? How about that mass migration into Europe? Terrorism is alive & well in the world.   „     —US Rep. Jeff Duncan, speaking truth     “   @BaileyKennedy Go to your "safe space" and yap about gender issues. Nobody with a brain wants to hear this nonsense right now   „     —Actor James Woods, being awesome     “   Paris death toll up to 100. U.S. college students need to tell Parisians about real violence from Halloween costumes & "trigger words."   „     —Ann Coulter, surprisingly not being a cunt     “   Modern Warfare 3 : Sand Nigger's Storm DLC   „     —lulz     “   Did your French gun control stop a single fucking person from dying at the Bataclan? And if anyone can answer yes, I'd like to hear it, because I don't think so. I think the only thing that stopped it was some of the bravest men that I've ever seen in my life charging head-first into the face of death with their firearms.   „     —J Hughes of Eagles of Death Metal Previous Quote | Next Quote

Gallery

Live Footage About missing Pics

• 
  Average reaction to Eagles of Death Metal
• 
• 
• 
• 

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

• 
  Asking for it.
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
  Begging for it.
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
  Hipster irony: Dying at Death Metal concert.
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
  Set phasers to LULZ...
• 
  NSA can't crack PS4?
• 
  Hashtag fail
• 
  No exceptions.
• 
  Paris prays for meme abuse to end.
• 
  Terror threat level red!

High Score

Graded score
Kill count:	130/20 More than the French ever killed in WWII
Accuracy:	10/20 Typical Arab spamming
Style:	19/20 Played it like GTA
Butthurt:	20/20 Pope calling it "World War III"
Bonus:	15/20 Dead Frenchmen is never a bad thing
Total score: 194/100 (S)

ALLAHU AKBAR LE FAGGOTS!!!1 See full ranking

Wanted Level:
___________________

___________________

National Guard

See Also

• France - where shit went down
• Terrorism
• ISIS - did it for the lulz
• 1-14 Jakarta Attacks - the sequel!
• Charlie Hebdo
• Nice truck bro

External Links

• news article
• another news article
• Not everyone cares about a bunch of dead crackers

	ISIS Paris Attack 13-11 is part of a series on [GAME OVERInsert Coin]
	Single Player Elite Hall of Fame Adam Lanza • Anders Behring Breivik • Andrew Kehoe • Ariana Grande Massacre • Baruch Goldstein • Brenton Tarrant • Campo Elías Delgado • Cho Seung-Hui • Devin Patrick Kelley • Dong Yangling • Gabriel Wortman • Jack Gilbert Graham • Jakrapanth Thomma • James Huberty • Luby's massacre • Martin Bryant • Mutsuo Toi • Nice Truck Attack 2016 • Omar Mateen • Panya Khamrab • Patrick Crusius • Reina Nightclub Massacre • Salvador Ramos • Shinji Aoba • Stephen Paddock • Ted Bundy • Vladislav Roslyakov • William Unek • Woo Bum-kon Single Player Amateur Division Aaron Alexis • Alexandre Bissonnette • Akbarzhon Jalivov • Ali David Sonboly • Anderson Lee Aldrich • Andrea Pignani • Anton Lundin Pettersson • Artyom Kazantsev • Audrey Hale • Brandon Scott Hole • Breda Highschool Massacre • Breitscheidplatz • Brenda Ann Spencer • Bruce Jeffrey Pardo • Capital Gazette Shooting • Charles Whitman's Tumor • Chris Harper-Mercer • Connor Betts • Dallas Police Shootings • Darrell Brooks • David Katz • David Kozák • David Malcolm Gray • Death to Traitors, Freedom for Britain • Derrick Bird • DeWayne Craddock • Dimitrios Pagourtzis • Dimitrious Gargasoulas • Dmitry Vinogradov • Dylann Storm Roof • Elliot Rodger • Éric Borel • Euler Fernando Grandolpho • Flemming Nielsen • Fort Hood • Gabe Parker • George Sodini • Gian Luigi Ferri • Ian David Long • Ilnaz Galyaviev • Jake Davison • James Alex Fields • James Holmes • Jared Lee Loughner • Jason Dalton • Jason Rodriguez • Jaylen Fryberg • Jeffrey Dahmer • Jeff Weise • Jesse Osborne • Jiverly Voong • Joe Stack • John Russell Houser • John Wilkes Booth • Jonathan Sapirman • Josef Fritzl • Khalid Masood • Kimveer Gill • Kip Kinkel • Kongsberg Bow and Arrow Rampage • Lam Kor Wan • Mamoru Takuma • Marc Lépine • Mark Barton • Mark Essex • Martin Peyerl • Matthew de Grood • Michael Carneal • Michael Kenneth McLendon • Michael Ryan • Mikese Morse • Mr. Saari • Nathan Gale • Nghtmrchld26 • Nikolas Cruz • Noah Esbensen • Orlando Harris • Otoya Yamaguchi • Patrick Purdy • Payton Gendron • Pekka-Eric Auvinen • Petri Gerdt • Ramadan Van Man • Randy Robert Stair • Richard Speck • Robert Bales • Robert Bowers • Robert Card • Robert Crimo • Robert Hawkins • Robert Long • Robert Steinhäuser • Ruslan Akhtyamov • Ryan Palmeter • Santino William Legan • Satoshi Uematsu • Sayfullo Saipov • Stephen Kazmierczak • The Twinkie Man • Thomas Matthew Crooks • Thomas Watt Hamilton • Tim Kretschmer • Timothy Hendron • Timur Bekmansurov • TJ Lane • Tobias Rathjen • Trystan Andrew Terrell • Tyler Peterson • Unabomber • Wade Michael Page • Walter Seifert • Wellington Menezes de Oliveira • Zhao Zewei • Zug Massacre Multiplayer Co-Op Mode 1-14 Jakarta Attacks • Academy Maniacs • Boston Marathon Bombing • Charlie Hebdo • Columbine • Crocus City Hall Massacre • Hiroshima and Nagasaki • ISIS Paris Attack 13-11 • Jews did WTC • London Bridge Attack 2017 • Medianeira School Shooting • Pearl Harbor • San Bernardino Shooting • Sri Lanka 2019 Terrorist Attacks • Suzano School Shooting • Timothy McVeigh • Zhaodong Massacre Civilization and Great Prophets Adolf Hitler • Augusto Pinochet • Aum Shinrikyo • Charles Manson • Heaven's Gate • Holocaust • Jonestown • Joseph Stalin • Kim Il-sung • Mao Zedong • Osama bin Laden • Pol Pot • Saddam Hussein • Waco • World War II Banned From Scoring Alex Hribal • Anthony Warner • Anton Bichivin • Asa Coon • Ben Moynihan • Billy Mitchell • Brandon Clegg • Brian Isaack Clyde • Charles Bishop • Clay Duke • Dillon Cossey • Faisal Shahzad • Frank James • Hayden Jagst • Hugo Jackson • Ilya Ivanistov • John Earnest • Kyle Rittenhouse • Laaiti Ekenstéen • Lindsay Kantha Souvannarath • Logan Clark • MAGABomber • Mikhail Pivnev • Nasim Aghdam • Nicky Reilly • Philip Manshaus • Richard Reid • Ryan Routh • Sam Hyde • Sebastian Bosse • Sol Pais • Stephan Balliet • Todd Rogers • Willem Van Spronsen • William Atchison • You

Featured article November 16 & 17, 2015
Preceded by Five Nights at Freddy's	ISIS Paris Attack 13-11	Succeeded by Chaosscizzors