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[[Image:Cloudflareerror.png|thumb|What your website [[fail|looks like]] with our [[Shit|Cutting edge]] technology]]
{{spoiler|CloudFlare Enables Miscreants}}
'''Cloudflare''' is a [[7 Proxies|distributed hosting service]] that is responsible for 90% of [[Encyclopædia Dramatica|ED]]'s and [[EDF]]'s downtime, the other 10% being [[Mike Sandy]].
[[File:Cloudflareerror.png|thumb|What your website [[fail|looks like]] with our [[Shit|Cutting edge]] technology]]
[[File:Cloudflare what your site looks when it is up.png|thumb|But to get that last page you first have to get past this. Getting this correct gives you 15 seconds of browsing before you get another one. Half the websites on the net use Cloudflare too so enjoy!]]
[[File:Cloudflare facebook.png|thumb|What every person in the Philippines goes through.]]
'''CloudFlare''' is a [[7 Proxies|content delivery network]] that is responsible for 90% of [[Encyclopædia Dramatica|ED]]'s and [[EDF]]'s downtime, the other 10% being [[Mike Sandy]].
[[File:Zaigercloudflare.png|thumb|right|[[zaiger|Another satisfied customer]]]]


==[[Tony Stark|Technologies]]==
==[[Tony Stark|Technologies]]==
[[Image:CloudflareAlwaysOnline.png|thumb|[[Irony|Always online.]]]]
[[File:CloudflareAlwaysOnline.png|thumb|[[Irony|Always online.]]]]
It uses [[DNS|amazing new technology]] to spread the load between servers, its [[iptables|futuristic intrusion detection systems]] are only comparable to those of [[I_GOT_NORTON|Norton's users'.]]
[[File:CloudFlare-WTF-2.png|thumb|This is because Steve Jobs is dead.]]
It uses [[DNS|amazing new technology]] to spread the load between servers, its futuristic intrusion detection systems are only comparable to those of [[I_GOT_NORTON|Norton's users'.]]
The [[scam|paid version]] includes such [[Retarded|amazing]] features as [[LOL|sanitizing user input]] and a feature called "[[Lolwut|EASIEST SSL EVAR]]". The [[Jew gold| pro]] features also include [[Visual_Basic#VB_in_Hollywood|the advanced threat challenge page]] and [[wat|traffic statistics updated every 15 minutes as opposed to 24 hours]].  
The [[scam|paid version]] includes such [[Retarded|amazing]] features as [[LOL|sanitizing user input]] and a feature called "[[Lolwut|EASIEST SSL EVAR]]". The [[Jew gold| pro]] features also include [[Visual_Basic#VB_in_Hollywood|the advanced threat challenge page]] and [[wat|traffic statistics updated every 15 minutes as opposed to 24 hours]].  
[[Image:Cloudflarebackend.png|thumb|Behind the scenes at the Cloudcave]]
[[File:Cloudflarebackend.png|thumb|Behind the scenes at the Cloudcave]]
[[Image:Cloudflarefordummies.png|thumb|Clearly for [[Idiot|computer gurus]].]]
[[File:Cloudflarefordummies.png|thumb|Clearly for [[Idiot|computer gurus]].]]


==DDoS and h4x==
==DDoS and h4x==


Many a [[Bill9929|internet h4x0rs]] have threatened to [[Script Kiddies|DDoS]] ED with [[CSIII|ping -f]], but they fail to understand that their efforts are actually preferable to [[Fail|Cloudflare's regular behavior]].
Many a [[Bill9929|internet h4x0rs]] have threatened to [[Script Kiddies|DDoS]] ED with [[CSIII|ping -f]], but they fail to understand that their efforts are actually preferable to [[Fail|CloudFlare's regular behavior]].
{{Quote|[[Bill9929|bill]] was developing a ddos attack|[[Lolcow|lolster1]], right before [[Cyberbully|ruination]] began after the [[EDiots|rest of the Anti-ED community]] finished laughing}}
{{Quote|[[Bill9929|bill]] was developing a ddos attack|[[Lolcow|lolster1]], right before [[Cyberbully|ruination]] began after the [[EDiots|rest of the Anti-ED community]] finished laughing}}


Yet another [[Butthurt|brave warrior]] to achieve [[Borat|great success]] in the field of [[dox|hacking]] is [[Kevin Provance]], who [[Basement Dweller|worked hard]] enough to actually [[raid|get some attention]] with his mischevious [[shenanigans]].
Yet another [[Butthurt|brave warrior]] to achieve [[Borat|great success]] in the field of [[dox|hacking]] is [[Kevin Provance]], who [[Basement Dweller|worked hard]] enough to actually [[raid|get some attention]] with his mischevious [[shenanigans]].


==[[Daniel Brandt|Brandt]] and Cloudflare==
==[[Daniel Brandt|Brandt]] and CloudFlare==


Other notable example of Cloudflare thwarting [[e-detective]] [[aspierations]] are [[Daniel Brandt]]'s sad attempts at [[Whois|forensics]], which apparently revealed that ED is based in Ukraine and Sweden, which led him to [[Asking for it|a failed attempt at doxing the sysops]]. with [[Lulz|random ips from the cloud being identified]] as [[Criminals|current ED's hosting providers]] and [[Josephevers.blogspot.com|lulzy non-dox provided]] with [[Google|great expertese]]. This in turn led him to [[Drama|dispute the TOS with Cloudflare]] in relation to [[LulzSec]]'s activities, with his demands and accusations [[Trolled|reasonably refuted]]:
Other notable example of CloudFlare thwarting [[e-detective]] [[aspierations]] are [[Daniel Brandt]]'s sad attempts at [[Whois|forensics]], which apparently revealed that ED is based in Ukraine and Sweden, which led him to [[Asking for it|a failed attempt at doxing the sysops]]. with [[Lulz|random ips from the cloud being identified]] as [[Criminals|current ED's hosting providers]] and [[Josephevers.blogspot.com|lulzy non-dox provided]] with [[Google|great expertese]]. This in turn led him to [[Drama|dispute the TOS with CloudFlare]] in relation to [[LulzSec]]'s activities, with his demands and accusations [[Trolled|reasonably refuted]]:
{{Quote|It's interesting to have public enemy number one using our service but it is important to note that we are not the hosting provider; we're much more similar to something like a network provider where traffic is passing through us and we're not actually storing any of the data. Importantly, if we were to kick them off of our network that wouldn't take the content off the Internet it would just be a little bit slower.|Cloudflare's spokesperson, telling him to [[GTFO|chill out]].}}
{{Quote|It's interesting to have public enemy number one using our service but it is important to note that we are not the hosting provider; we're much more similar to something like a network provider where traffic is passing through us and we're not actually storing any of the data. Importantly, if we were to kick them off of our network that wouldn't take the content off the Internet it would just be a little bit slower.|CloudFlare's spokesperson, telling him to [[GTFO|chill out]].}}
Being a [[Asspie|reasonable person]] [[False|he let the case go]] and moved on with his life, but not before sending yet another inquiry, this time asking whether they have ever enforced their own TOS, to which they responded:
Being a [[Asspie|reasonable person]] [[False|he let the case go]] and moved on with his life, but not before sending yet another inquiry, this time asking whether they have ever enforced their own TOS, to which they responded:
{{Quote|We are not a web host and we don't censor content on the internet.
{{Quote|We are not a web host and we don't censor content on the internet.
Line 46: Line 51:
CloudFlare's policy is to investigate violations of these Terms of Service and terminate repeat infringers. You agree that CloudFlare may, under certain circumstances and without prior notice, immediately terminate your CloudFlare account, any associated email address, and access to CloudFlare.com and associated Services. Cause for such termination shall include, but not be limited to: (a) breaches or violations of the Terms of Service or other incorporated agreements or guidelines; (b) requests by law enforcement or other government agencies; (c) a request by you (self-initiated account deletions); (d) discontinuance or material modification to the Service (or any part thereof); (e) unexpected technical or security issues or problems; (f) extended periods of inactivity; (g) you have engaged or are reasonably suspected to be engaged in fraudulent or illegal activities; (h) having provided false information as part of your account; (i) having failed to keep your account complete, true, and accurate; (j) any use of the Service deemed at CloudFlare's sole discretion a Prohibited Use as defined above; and/or (k) nonpayment of any fees owed by you in connection with CloudFlare.com and associated Services. Further, you agree that all terminations for cause shall be made in CloudFlare's sole discretion and that CloudFlare shall not be liable to you or any third-party for any termination of your account, access to the Service, or any disruption to your services such a termination may cause. You expressly agree that in the case of a termination for cause you will not have any opportunity to cure. You further acknowledge and agree that notwithstanding any termination, your obligations to CloudFlare set forth in Sections 9, 10, 11, 12 and 13 shall survive such termination.]]|The sections he was citing as grounds to [[baleet]]ing LulzSec.}}
CloudFlare's policy is to investigate violations of these Terms of Service and terminate repeat infringers. You agree that CloudFlare may, under certain circumstances and without prior notice, immediately terminate your CloudFlare account, any associated email address, and access to CloudFlare.com and associated Services. Cause for such termination shall include, but not be limited to: (a) breaches or violations of the Terms of Service or other incorporated agreements or guidelines; (b) requests by law enforcement or other government agencies; (c) a request by you (self-initiated account deletions); (d) discontinuance or material modification to the Service (or any part thereof); (e) unexpected technical or security issues or problems; (f) extended periods of inactivity; (g) you have engaged or are reasonably suspected to be engaged in fraudulent or illegal activities; (h) having provided false information as part of your account; (i) having failed to keep your account complete, true, and accurate; (j) any use of the Service deemed at CloudFlare's sole discretion a Prohibited Use as defined above; and/or (k) nonpayment of any fees owed by you in connection with CloudFlare.com and associated Services. Further, you agree that all terminations for cause shall be made in CloudFlare's sole discretion and that CloudFlare shall not be liable to you or any third-party for any termination of your account, access to the Service, or any disruption to your services such a termination may cause. You expressly agree that in the case of a termination for cause you will not have any opportunity to cure. You further acknowledge and agree that notwithstanding any termination, your obligations to CloudFlare set forth in Sections 9, 10, 11, 12 and 13 shall survive such termination.]]|The sections he was citing as grounds to [[baleet]]ing LulzSec.}}


==People who use Cloudflare==
==People who use CloudFlare==
*[[ED]]
*[[ED]]
*[[LulzSec]]
*[[LulzSec]]
Line 53: Line 58:


==See also==
==See also==
*[https://www.cloudflare.com] their secret HQ.
*[https://www.cloudflare.com their secret HQ.]




{{softwarez}}
{{softwarez}}
{{Edforumseries}}
{{SecurityFaggots}}
{{SecurityFaggots}}

Latest revision as of 21:21, 17 August 2015

What your website looks like with our Cutting edge technology
But to get that last page you first have to get past this. Getting this correct gives you 15 seconds of browsing before you get another one. Half the websites on the net use Cloudflare too so enjoy!
What every person in the Philippines goes through.

CloudFlare is a content delivery network that is responsible for 90% of ED's and EDF's downtime, the other 10% being Mike Sandy.

Another satisfied customer

Technologies

Always online.
This is because Steve Jobs is dead.

It uses amazing new technology to spread the load between servers, its futuristic intrusion detection systems are only comparable to those of Norton's users'. The paid version includes such amazing features as sanitizing user input and a feature called "EASIEST SSL EVAR". The pro features also include the advanced threat challenge page and traffic statistics updated every 15 minutes as opposed to 24 hours.

Behind the scenes at the Cloudcave
Clearly for computer gurus.

DDoS and h4x

Many a internet h4x0rs have threatened to DDoS ED with ping -f, but they fail to understand that their efforts are actually preferable to CloudFlare's regular behavior.

   
 
bill was developing a ddos attack
 

 
 

lolster1, right before ruination began after the rest of the Anti-ED community finished laughing

Yet another brave warrior to achieve great success in the field of hacking is Kevin Provance, who worked hard enough to actually get some attention with his mischevious shenanigans.

Brandt and CloudFlare

Other notable example of CloudFlare thwarting e-detective aspierations are Daniel Brandt's sad attempts at forensics, which apparently revealed that ED is based in Ukraine and Sweden, which led him to a failed attempt at doxing the sysops. with random ips from the cloud being identified as current ED's hosting providers and lulzy non-dox provided with great expertese. This in turn led him to dispute the TOS with CloudFlare in relation to LulzSec's activities, with his demands and accusations reasonably refuted:

   
 
It's interesting to have public enemy number one using our service but it is important to note that we are not the hosting provider; we're much more similar to something like a network provider where traffic is passing through us and we're not actually storing any of the data. Importantly, if we were to kick them off of our network that wouldn't take the content off the Internet it would just be a little bit slower.
 

 
 

—CloudFlare's spokesperson, telling him to chill out.

Being a reasonable person he let the case go and moved on with his life, but not before sending yet another inquiry, this time asking whether they have ever enforced their own TOS, to which they responded:

   
 
We are not a web host and we don't censor content on the internet.

Even if we remove a site from CloudFlare it doesn't remove the content from the internet in any way, shape, or form.When a complaint comes in we provide the direct IP to the site in question so that the person with the complaint can take their complaint directly to the web host of the site -- the only people who can ACTUALLY remove the site and its content from the internet. We comply with every complaint that we receive.
 


 
 

Telling it how it is

   
 
SECTION 11: PROHIBITED USES You shall not post, transmit, retransmit, cache, or store material on or through CloudFlare's Service which, in the sole judgment of CloudFlare (a) is in violation of any local, state, federal, or foreign law or regulation, (b) is threatening, obscene, indecent, defamatory, or that otherwise could adversely affect any individual, group, or entity (collectively, "Persons"), or (c) violates the rights of any Person, including rights protected by copyright, trade secret, patent, or other intellectual property or similar laws or regulations including, but not limited to, the installation or distribution of "pirated" or other software products that are not appropriately licensed for Your use. You agree that you will NOT knowingly use the Service, among other things, to: upload, post, transmit, or otherwise make available any content that is unlawful, harmful, threatening, abusive, harassing, tortious, defamatory, vulgar, obscene, libelous, invasive of another's privacy, hateful, or racially, ethnically, or otherwise objectionable; harm minors in any way; impersonate any person or entity, including but not limited to a CloudFlare official, forum leader, guide, or host, or falsely state or otherwise misrepresent your affiliation with a person or entity; forge headers or otherwise manipulate identifiers in order to disguise the origin of any content transmitted through the Service; upload, post, transmit, or otherwise make available any content that You do not have a right to make available under any law or under contractual or fiduciary relationships (such as inside information, proprietary, and confidential information learned or disclosed as part of employment relationships or under nondisclosure agreements); upload, post, transmit, or otherwise make available any content that infringes any patent, trademark, trade secret, copyright, or other proprietary rights of any party; upload, post, transmit, or otherwise make available any unsolicited or unauthorized advertising, promotional materials, "junk mail," "spam," "chain letters," "pyramid schemes," or the like; upload, post, transmit, or otherwise make available any material that contains software viruses or any other computer code, files, or programs designed to interrupt, destroy, or limit the functionality of any computer software or hardware or telecommunications equipment; interfere with or disrupt the Service or servers or networks connected to the Service, or disobey any requirements, procedures, policies, or regulations of networks connected to the Service; intentionally or unintentionally violate, attempt to violate, or avoid any applicable ICANN regulation or policy; intentionally or unintentionally violate any applicable local, state, national or international law, including, but not limited to, regulations promulgated by the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission, any rules of any national or other securities exchange, including, without limitation, the New York Stock Exchange, the American Stock Exchange, or the NASDAQ, and any regulations having the force of law; provide material support or resources (or to conceal or disguise the nature, location, source, or ownership of material support or resources) to any organization(s) designated by the United States government as a foreign terrorist organization pursuant to section 219 of the Immigration and Nationality Act; "stalk" or otherwise harass another; or promote or provide instructional information about illegal activities, promote physical harm or injury against any group or individual, or promote any act of cruelty to animals. This may include, but is not limited to, providing instructions on how to assemble bombs, grenades, and other weapons, and creating "Crush" sites. SECTION 14: TERMINATION CloudFlare's policy is to investigate violations of these Terms of Service and terminate repeat infringers. You agree that CloudFlare may, under certain circumstances and without prior notice, immediately terminate your CloudFlare account, any associated email address, and access to CloudFlare.com and associated Services. Cause for such termination shall include, but not be limited to: (a) breaches or violations of the Terms of Service or other incorporated agreements or guidelines; (b) requests by law enforcement or other government agencies; (c) a request by you (self-initiated account deletions); (d) discontinuance or material modification to the Service (or any part thereof); (e) unexpected technical or security issues or problems; (f) extended periods of inactivity; (g) you have engaged or are reasonably suspected to be engaged in fraudulent or illegal activities; (h) having provided false information as part of your account; (i) having failed to keep your account complete, true, and accurate; (j) any use of the Service deemed at CloudFlare's sole discretion a Prohibited Use as defined above; and/or (k) nonpayment of any fees owed by you in connection with CloudFlare.com and associated Services. Further, you agree that all terminations for cause shall be made in CloudFlare's sole discretion and that CloudFlare shall not be liable to you or any third-party for any termination of your account, access to the Service, or any disruption to your services such a termination may cause. You expressly agree that in the case of a termination for cause you will not have any opportunity to cure. You further acknowledge and agree that notwithstanding any termination, your obligations to CloudFlare set forth in Sections 9, 10, 11, 12 and 13 shall survive such termination.
 

 
 

—The sections he was citing as grounds to baleeting LulzSec.

People who use CloudFlare

See also


CloudFlare is part of a series on

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CloudFlare is part of a series on Security Faggots

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Captain CrunchCult of the Dead CowDavid L. SmithGary McKinnonGOBBLESHD MooreJeff MossKevin MitnickLance M. HavokRobert MorrisTheo de RaadtweevWoz


Try-Hards

2cashAnonOpsBrian SalcedoFearnorFry GuyGadi Evrong00nsHack This SiteHacking TeamhannJoanna RutkowskaJohn FieldJoseph CampLizard SquadLulzSecMark ZuckerbergMarshviperXMasters of DeceptionMichael LynnKrashedRavenr000tRyanSteve Gibsonth3j35t3rThe RegimeSabuZeekill


Related Shit

AviraCiscogateCloudflareConfickerCyberDefenderDefconThe GibsonThe Great Em/b/assy Security Leak of 2007HeartbleedI GOT NORTON!Is Your Son a Computer Hacker?Operation SundevilPIFTS.exeSocial engineeringStylometrySubSevenZone-H