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MySpace Suicide: Difference between revisions

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{{an hero}}
{{an hero}}


[[Image:Myspacesuicide.jpg|thumb|This could have been stopped.]]
[[Image:Myspacesuicide.jpg|thumb|[[Abortion|This could have been stopped]].]]


According to [[theoretical physics|theoretical physicists]], a [[fag|faggy]] [[emo]] kid who became [[an hero]] and told the [[Internets]] about it on November 29, [[2005]].
On November 29, [[2005]], another useless, suburbanite teen exercised his God-given right to end his alleged "pain". In a "symbolic" final blog, '''Joshua Anson Ballard''' (screen name '''Jloveb''' and later dubbed the '''MySpace Suicide Kid''') informed his friends and family, who if had actually cared may have caused him to evade suicide, that he had taken his life, thoughtful to add countless misspellings to thereafter increase the hilarity of the situation. Quickly after making local news, some of the [[YTMND]] crew picked up on the incident and instantly began spawning "X's MySpace Suicide" sites, securing Josh's status as a piece of internet culture to be enjoyed for many years to come. Furthered by the relentless abuse originating from Josh's "friends" (read "XxX YOU FUXING ASSHOLS STOP THIS RITE NOW, RIP JOSH ~ XxX"), the YTMNDers continued to make use of Josh, long after the novelty wore off and his community forgot about his existence entirely. Even in YTMND's now-dead state, the occasional MySpace Suicide will be created, a true reminiscence of a better e-time.


==What really happened==
==What really happened==
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'''You people make me sick... suicide isn't funny, it's hilarious'''
'''You people make me sick... suicide isn't funny, it's hilarious'''


On that very date, the troubled, depressed and overall having-a-shitty-life emo kid decided that [[life]] has utterly [[pwned]] him in epic proportions, so he decided to [[permaban]] himself from life. The above message has drawn attention from likewise troubled, depressed and overall having-a-shitty-life emos and people who adhere to [[The Internet Is Serious Business]] principle like religious zealots. His post, written in the totally unpredictable manner of a [[16 year old girl]], advised to call the [[police]], but posting bulletins warning of your intentions isn't original because [[Rachele Rudd]] did that way back in 2004.
Growing up in a self-described "broken home", Josh woke up every morning fearing his shoes might get muddy or he would wind up in some similarly life-devastating predicament. Despite having food, clothing, a suburban home, and countless video games to dull his mind with, Josh's teenage life was without question, '''broken'''. The accumulation of being dumped and mocked at school was far worse than his repetition of the 4th grade due to the inability to spell his name ([[srsly|not a joke]]). After said years of arduous hardship, Josh snapped and made the ultimatum to end his existence. Requesting his friends do his broken life a "favore", Josh self-doxed quickly before blowing his brains out in his parent's bathroom. Almost immediately, [[Harassment|The Borg]] reared its ugly head.


[[Image:Josh_ballads.jpg|thumb|Whiny Emo bullshit music.]]
[[Image:Josh_ballads.jpg|thumb|Whiny Emo bullshit music.]]


When the police arrived at the scene, they found him in the bathtub with a bullet hole in his head. The kid's brother apparently inherited his [[attention whore|attention whoring]], [[angst]] and emoism, as he was caught checking a dead emo's [[MySpace]] account. Isn't that a violation of the "Respect for the dead" scene? Doubtfully, because emos barely qualify as animals, much less real people.
{{quote|He killed himself over a girl "and other things," writes Flower King Of Flies on MySpace, who says the death was preventable. "This could of ben stoped," he says via a Myspace comment page that has become Josh's memorial. "All the people that knew didnt do shit. i had a good time with u in ceramics. f--- all your friends that did nothing."}}
 
==About: The emo's bulletin==
The [[emo]] sonofabitch sent out a bulletin to his [[friends list]] to alert them to his suicide just before he committed the deed. No one really cared, though, because it was just the usual faggy ass emo whining bullshit, and no one suspected (though they all hoped) he would [[pwn]] himself for real. The dumbass then pulled a Kurt Cobain by injecting a large dose of metal into his head. It is reported that after learning that their son had finally committed suicide his parents threw a big party and partied like it was 1999.
 
Many people believe that he was, in fact, [[Norwegian]], shown by his lack of capitalization and grammar, but in truth he was actually just a [[retarded]] [[emo]].


[[Image:Mitch_n_josh.jpg|thumb|Two losers bitch about their lives.]]
[[Image:Mitch_n_josh.jpg|thumb|Two losers bitch about their lives.]]
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[[Image:Myspaceemoafter.JPG|thumb|After the emo's death and reverting action. Emo to the core.]]
[[Image:Myspaceemoafter.JPG|thumb|After the emo's death and reverting action. Emo to the core.]]


A [[YTMND]] has spawned on the [[YTMND]] site, informing many unsuspecting users who have a sense of [[humor]] while maintaining sadistic pleasure and [[sarcasm]] (unlike most of the internets) of the [[suicide]]. The rumor has spread across the Internets like [[AIDS]] in [[Africa]] and the emo's MySpace site has reached the peak of its views, pretty much like the [[olde]] artists of the [[old media]].
 
Two days after the death, a [[YTMND]] spawned, poking fun at Josh's BROKEN life and his angst-ridden choice to end it. Quickly reaching "classic" status, spin-off sites began popping up across YTMND, and eventually leaking into SA and 4chan. The fad consisted of shopped "you BROKE my X" images, always accompanied by the screeching "HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEE" of [[Emo|Simple Plan's]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQ7oqmikZDQ&ob=av2n "Untitled"].


[[Image:Josh_wash.jpg|thumb|The first time he ever saw a bath.]]
[[Image:Josh_wash.jpg|thumb|The first time he ever saw a bath.]]


For a week or so, the meme had not yet transcended to [[old meme]] status, which amazed the internets for its longevity (or stupidity). Linking to the "[[EMO]] SUICIDES LAWLWOLLOLOFLR" YTMNDs was still considered funny. However, the dead emo was forgotten as soon as another attention whore committed suicide and told the internets about that. All your attention are belong to another [[emo]].
Meanwhile, trolls had infested Josh's MySpace, enraging his "friends" with only kind comments regarding Josh, his educational history, and his motives for suicide. Countered with "JUST IGNORE THE HATERS JOSH", these comments from his former peers, while motivational in nature, had no effect on Josh as he was dead. Eventually some uber-leet [[Script kiddie|hexers]] compromised the account, likely after guessing the correct password (which undoubtedly was his name followed by a single number), and proceeded to wreck irreversible havoc on the lone, abandon, MySpace account.
 
And thus, he got pwned. Again.
 
The [[emo]]'s MySpace site got hacked and posted a link to some [[hacker]]s' website. Needless to say, the kid got thoroughly pwned even after his death. A most excellent job indeed. Unfortunately, the screenshots of the hacked website have been lost in the wild jungles of the [[internets]].


<center>
<center>
<youtube>OTwyruZM1DQ</youtube>
<youtube>OTwyruZM1DQ</youtube>
</center>
</center>
==About the emo himself==
==About the emo himself==


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[[emo|"I made my mistakes, got nowhere to run, the night goes on as I'm fading away, I'm sick of this life, I just want to scream,  'How could this happen to me?'"]]
[[emo|"I made my mistakes, got nowhere to run, the night goes on as I'm fading away, I'm sick of this life, I just want to scream,  'How could this happen to me?'"]]


Joshua Ballard (his real name) was also a member of secret [[United States]] intelligence agency [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/S.A.F.E. S.A.F.E] when he was alive.
Joshua Ballard (his powerword) was also a member of secret [[United States]] intelligence agency [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/S.A.F.E. S.A.F.E] when he was alive.


[[Image:Ballardmail.JPG|thumb|Someone who has no humor about the emo suicide fad.]]
[[Image:Ballardmail.JPG|thumb|Someone who has no humor about the emo suicide fad.]]
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==External Links==
==External Links==
* [http://myspacide.ytmnd.com/ Myspacide.ytmnd.com] - First of many YTMNDs, generating [[lulz]] all over the internets about one dumb shit.
* [http://myspacide.ytmnd.com/ Myspacide.ytmnd.com] - First of many YTMNDs, generating [[lulz]] all over the internets about one dumb shit.
* [http://news.newamericamedia.org/news/view_article.html?article_id=6d8134fbbe964d76f864b3b9682dcb19 He got his attention, after all] - News article about the suicide and why only people who know that The Internet Is Serious Business care about one stupid angsty teen.
* [http://archive.fo/WyiMf He got his attention, after all] - News article about the suicide and why only people who know that The Internet Is Serious Business care about one stupid angsty teen.
* [http://www.myspace.com/jloveb Original MySpace Page] Now in the hands of some cocksucker who has made it totally unlulzworthy
* [http://www.myspace.com/jloveb Original MySpace Page] Now in the hands of some cocksucker who has made it totally unlulzworthy
* [http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=LfhABwvMtwk Some total faggot's gay YouTube tribute]
* [http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=LfhABwvMtwk Some total faggot's gay YouTube tribute]
Line 62: Line 55:
{{Ytmnd}}
{{Ytmnd}}
{{emoseries}}
{{emoseries}}
{{Social Media}}
[[Category:Memes]]
[[Category:Memes]]
[[Category:Myspace]]
[[Category:Myspace]]

Latest revision as of 04:16, 27 June 2022

Lose an iPod?

This page contains an hero.
This could have been stopped.

On November 29, 2005, another useless, suburbanite teen exercised his God-given right to end his alleged "pain". In a "symbolic" final blog, Joshua Anson Ballard (screen name Jloveb and later dubbed the MySpace Suicide Kid) informed his friends and family, who if had actually cared may have caused him to evade suicide, that he had taken his life, thoughtful to add countless misspellings to thereafter increase the hilarity of the situation. Quickly after making local news, some of the YTMND crew picked up on the incident and instantly began spawning "X's MySpace Suicide" sites, securing Josh's status as a piece of internet culture to be enjoyed for many years to come. Furthered by the relentless abuse originating from Josh's "friends" (read "XxX YOU FUXING ASSHOLS STOP THIS RITE NOW, RIP JOSH ~ XxX"), the YTMNDers continued to make use of Josh, long after the novelty wore off and his community forgot about his existence entirely. Even in YTMND's now-dead state, the occasional MySpace Suicide will be created, a true reminiscence of a better e-time.

What really happened

The original screenshot of the attention whoring bastard.

You people make me sick... suicide isn't funny, it's hilarious

Growing up in a self-described "broken home", Josh woke up every morning fearing his shoes might get muddy or he would wind up in some similarly life-devastating predicament. Despite having food, clothing, a suburban home, and countless video games to dull his mind with, Josh's teenage life was without question, broken. The accumulation of being dumped and mocked at school was far worse than his repetition of the 4th grade due to the inability to spell his name (not a joke). After said years of arduous hardship, Josh snapped and made the ultimatum to end his existence. Requesting his friends do his broken life a "favore", Josh self-doxed quickly before blowing his brains out in his parent's bathroom. Almost immediately, The Borg reared its ugly head.

Whiny Emo bullshit music.
   
 
He killed himself over a girl "and other things," writes Flower King Of Flies on MySpace, who says the death was preventable. "This could of ben stoped," he says via a Myspace comment page that has become Josh's memorial. "All the people that knew didnt do shit. i had a good time with u in ceramics. f--- all your friends that did nothing."
 

 
 

Two losers bitch about their lives.

Immediate and other consequences

After the emo's death and reverting action. Emo to the core.


Two days after the death, a YTMND spawned, poking fun at Josh's BROKEN life and his angst-ridden choice to end it. Quickly reaching "classic" status, spin-off sites began popping up across YTMND, and eventually leaking into SA and 4chan. The fad consisted of shopped "you BROKE my X" images, always accompanied by the screeching "HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEE" of Simple Plan's "Untitled".

The first time he ever saw a bath.

Meanwhile, trolls had infested Josh's MySpace, enraging his "friends" with only kind comments regarding Josh, his educational history, and his motives for suicide. Countered with "JUST IGNORE THE HATERS JOSH", these comments from his former peers, while motivational in nature, had no effect on Josh as he was dead. Eventually some uber-leet hexers compromised the account, likely after guessing the correct password (which undoubtedly was his name followed by a single number), and proceeded to wreck irreversible havoc on the lone, abandon, MySpace account.

About the emo himself

Before the emo's death.

He walked by the internets handle of "you BROKE my LIFE" (capitalization preserved), loved "girls who cry"; was married; was 8 feet, 11 inches tall and made $250,000 a year or more. He was a smartass. He posted self-portraits that featured him at his emo-kid best: shaggy hair, pouting lips, acne scars, intentionally blank expression. He posted an ad for a clothing company called Emo Police that featured a man hanging from the P. His last words were reported to be "I made my mistakes, got nowhere to run, the night goes on as I'm fading away, I'm sick of this life, I just want to scream, 'How could this happen to me?'"

Joshua Ballard (his powerword) was also a member of secret United States intelligence agency S.A.F.E when he was alive.

Someone who has no humor about the emo suicide fad.

External Links


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MySpace Suicide
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YTMND

[YES, YES!PUNCH THE KEYS FOR GOD'S SAKE]

YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND ME!
YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND ME!
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</3 EMO </3
[BleedCut]
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