Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

America's Third Party: Difference between revisions

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
imported>DUMFUK
m Reverted edit by Edgar181's sock puppet 26 (talk) to last revision by [[User:imported>Stevenshephard|imported>Stevenshephard]]
Tag: Rollback
 
(80 intermediate revisions by 12 users not shown)
Line 1: Line 1:
{{nobody}}<br />
{{nobody}}<br>
{{corner|tr|[[Image:DaveFloat.png|75px|link=Oh noes]]}}
{{Welfare}}
{{Welfare}}


[[File:ATPNEWS1.jpg|thumb|250px|right|Stand aside, [[Obama]].]]
[[File:ATPNEWS1.jpg|thumb|250px|right|Stand aside, [[Obama]].]]
'''America's Third Party''' is the manifestation of the midlife crisis of the racist, closeted-[[homosexual]], chronically-unemployed, [[narcissist]]ic ''[[Liberalism|David Jon Sponheim]].''
'''America's Third Party''' is the manifestation of the midlife crisis of the racist, closeted-[[homosexual]], chronically-unemployed, [[narcissist]]ic ''[[Liberalism|David Jon Sponheim]].''


After David realized what a pointless life of [[fail|failure]] he's lived in his parent's van eating out of the trash—he was born addicted to nicotine as his mother smoked ten a day while pregnant—he now desires to redeem himself by running for the office of [[president]] of the [[United States]], with his [[Lesbian|unshaven lover]] Sarah L. Hart as his vice-presidential candidate. Spending [[100 years ago|100 years]] [[stupid|running a presidential campaign on internet cam sites]] with a poor copy of [[Alex Jones]], their party still consists of only two members and the occasional moral support of a few literal [[retards]].
After David realized how pointless his life has been, living in his parent's van, eating out of the trash &mdash; he was born addicted to nicotine as his mother smoked ten a day while pregnant, he now desires to redeem himself by running for President of the [[United States]], with his [[Lesbian|unshaven lover]] Sarah L. Hart as his running mate.
Despite a vigorous attempt at [[unrealistic expectations|running a presidential campaign on internet cam sites]] with a poor copy of [[Alex Jones]], their party still consists of only two members and the occasional moral support of a few literal [[retards]].


== A True Founding Father ==
== A True Founding Father ==
[[File:SarahHart.jpg|thumb|200px|right|David's [[ugly|beautiful]] companion]]
[[File:SarahHart.jpg|thumb|200px|right|David's [[ugly|beautiful]] companion]]
During a [[Vietnam|certain period]] in [[America]] parents were encouraged to tell their worthless children that they could grow up to be whatever they wanted, regardless of actual [[skill]] and aptitude.


Children during this time were raised as though they were a [[special snowflake]], and carried that mentality into adulthood, and whether win or lose they'd still be someone important.
During a [[Vietnam|certain period]] in [[America]], parents were encouraged to teach their worthless children they could grow up to become anything they wanted to be, regardless of actual [[skill]] and aptitude.
 
Children during this time were raised as though they were a [[special snowflake]], and carried the mentality into adulthood that whether win or lose, they'd still be someone important.


=== What could possibly go wrong? ===
=== What could possibly go wrong? ===


After spending his entire life not studying politics, David Jon Sponheim put together a political party that speaks to the people - all 54 of them on facebook. Originally the party was to be a joint effort of both David and Sarah, with Sarah being the only one to actually run for Washington State Senate; but Sarah had to step aside to Dave's greatness. The party started with the awful name "cool rock party," to [[rape|appeal]] to the [[children|kiddies]]. You can find David rocking the vote with black face-paint reminding everyone that all of America's problems are to blame on the president being a [[nigger]]. As your standard [[yuppie]] generation faggot, David is acutely aware of niggers being inferior, but as a fellow inferior with a lust for popularity to sooth his fragile ego, has a constant need to hide this fact when you aren't stealing all his narcissistic supply like evil Obama. But remember, [[Contradiction|he's not a racist, hes an American!!]]
After spending his entire life knowing nothing about politics, David Jon Sponheim founded a political party that speaks to the people &mdash; all 54 of them on Facebook.
Originally the party was a joint effort between David and Sarah, with Sarah being the only one to actually run for the Washington State Senate; but Sarah had to step aside to Dave's greatness.
In a lame attempt to appeal to America's [[children|kiddies]], the party started with the awful name "cool rock party."
You can find David rocking the vote with black face-paint, reminding everyone that all of America's problems are to blame on the president being a [[nigger]].
As your standard [[yuppie]] generation faggot, David is acutely aware that niggers are inferior, but as a fellow inferior with a lust for popularity to sooth his fragile ego, he has a constant need to hide this fact when you aren't stealing all his narcissistic supply like evil Obama.
But remember, [[Contradiction|he's not a racist, he's an American!!]]
{{clear}}
{{clear}}
David considers anyone who works for the Government a scumbag, including Military personal and ICE agents, because one deports illegals and the other kills people when they are told to do so. I guess protecting America from being invaded is a job only scumbags would do. David Met Sarah Hart his partner in an AOL chat room when she was 15 years old back in the day.
As of 2018, David primarily dual streams from [http://Vaughnlive.tv/ThirdParty Vaughnlive] and [https://ivlog.tv/user/americasthirdparty ivlog], while hosting a Periscope stream via his twitter account. He previously had a younow [https://www.younow.com/AThirdParty account] which happens to be a website for kids. YouNow is full of pedophiles who always flirt with the young kids when they see them on camera chatting. It is believed he was banned for racist and homophobic hate speech.


==Die Partei ist David==
==Die Partei ist David==
[[File:Third Party Autism Support.jpg|thumb|250px|left|A vote for David is a vote for [[Downs|Timmy]]]]
[[File:Third Party Autism Support.jpg|thumb|250px|left|A vote for David is a vote for [[downs|Timmy]].]]
What you have to understand about Dave is, he's something of a big deal. He was a chess master and valedictorian of his class, accepted to all the top schools if it was not for [[affirmative action]] making Obama take his place.   He had to go to his last choice, UCLA, and dropped out after two years realizing all the professors were [[communists]] who laughed him out of the building. He once interrupted [[Jew|Milton Friedman]] with his whining, telling others later how he totally [[pwned]] him in a debate. David has a [[bullshit|185 IQ]] and has all the best ideas you've never heard of because of [[the man]] keeping him down, such as [[LOLWUT|tying a Boeing plane to a blimp]]. He remains mysteriously unemployed while knowing more about every subject than the people paid to know the subject. Being originally from [[California]], he has a made-up story about meeting every celebrity under the sun. He loves to gaslight and use big words incorrectly. Fitting with his Alex Jones style, he knows the least about and talks the most about the [[Nazis]]. Contradicting him on any of this will lead to epic amounts of tard [[rage]] where he will pretend you are [[JIDF|paid by the government]] and [[IM PRESSIN CHARGES|threatened his life]]. He will also randomly invoke "you think in black and white, there is grey area." He has a multi million dollar security system, aka [[coward|two BB guns]], if anybody ever shows up at his door.
 
What you have to understand about Dave is, he's something of a big deal.
He was a chess master and valedictorian of his class, and would have been accepted into the top schools if it was not for [[affirmative action]], which allowed Obama to take his place.
He had to go to his last choice, UCLA, and dropped out after two years due to [[communist]] professors laughing him out of the building on a daily basis.
 
He once interrupted [[Jew|Milton Friedman]] with his whining, later claiming that he totally [[pwned]] him in a debate.
David has an IQ of [[bullshit|185]] and the best ideas you have never heard of because of [[the man]] keeping him down, such as [[LOLWUT|tying a Boeing plane to a blimp]].
He remains mysteriously unemployed while knowing more about every subject than the experts paid to know about the subject.
Being originally from [[California]], he has a made-up story about meeting every celebrity under the sun.
David loves to gaslight and use big words incorrectly.
Fitting with his Alex Jones style, he knows the least about [[Nazis]] despite always talking about them.
Contradicting him always leads to epic amounts of tard [[rage]], accusations that you've been [[JIDF|paid by the government]] and naturally you just [[IM PRESSIN CHARGES|threatened his life]]. He will also randomly invoke "you think in black and white, there is grey area."
Oh, David has a multimillion dollar security system (i.e., [[coward|two BB guns]]) ready for anybody who shows up at his door.


David is very gullible, pictured left is a retarded guy who pretends he is a war hero who has the [[derp]]s because he fell 6000 feet out of a helicopter. Dave refused to acknowledge he was lying for years until he was forced to do so.  The tard pretends to be a [[doctor]] as well. He also talks to a "Doctor" Mount, who has expertise in foreign relations as a PhD who got a [[Kent Hovind|bible degree]] from a [http://eeuseminary.org/about-eeu/oxford-educational-network/ diploma mill]. In general, if you pretend you're a secret gubment special ops guy with insider info, you can take up his show time with your rambling and get into Dave's inner circle very easily.
Demonstrating that he's a [[politician|trustworthy individual]], it takes David years to acknowledge he may have been wrong. Pictured left is a retarded guy who pretended to be a war hero, only seeming retarded because he fell [[derp|6000 feet from a helicopter]]. The same guy also pretends to be a doctor. Dave refused to believe he was lying for years until someone donated to force him to watch a video where he admitted it. David also maintains contact with a "Doctor" Mount, who received his doctorate in [[Kent Hovind|bible studies]] from some [http://eeuseminary.org/about-eeu/oxford-educational-network/ diploma mill], and is thus an [[not|expert]] in foreign relations. In general, David is very gullible. Getting into his inner circle is easy, pretend to be a secret gubment special ops with insider information, and you'll be able to get on his show and ramble utter nonsense on the air.


Too much of an [[aspie]] to meet anyone in real life, he met Sarah online. Sarah was living on [[welfare]] and so puts up with Dave's [[lies|bullshit]] so she can have a roof over her head. No one has ever seen Dave kiss Sarah on the mouth, and chances are Dave is one of those [http://www.streetdirectory.com/travel_guide/10403/women/narcissists_and_women.html asexual narcissists].
Being too much of an [[aspie|introvert]] to get outside and meet someone, he met his lover in some chat room for desperate singles.
{{clear}}
The two met sometime around 1999, [[pedo|Dave]] was 38 and she was 20.
At the time she was a [[welfare]] recipient and more than happy to put up with Dave's [[lies|bullshit]] to keep a roof over her head.
Nobody has ever seen Dave kiss her on the lips, indicating he is one of those [http://www.streetdirectory.com/travel_guide/10403/women/narcissists_and_women.html asexual narcissists].


==The Campaign==
==The Campaign Trail==
[[File:KissingbabiespoliticsATP.png|thumb|200px|right|The time tested strategy of perpetually campaigning online is proven to be the most effective.]]
[[File:KissingbabiespoliticsATP.png|thumb|200px|right|The time tested strategy of perpetually campaigning online is proven to be the most effective.]]
David Jon Sponheim spends all of his time in his dead parents' house, extracting rent from his substitute [[teacher]] girlfriend, the house's breadwinner. Instead of getting a job or doing any actual campaign work, he spends his time watching Alex Jones and believing in every stupid [[conspiracy theory]] he can get his hands on, blaming society for his lack of self confidence. His online show...er "campaign", consists of him playing the same seven conspiracy videos, patronizing mentally retarded faggots who will tell him he is awesome, doing shitty impressions of presidents and other famous people, or raging and banning anybody who has any disagreement with him whatsoever.
[[File:blindmenandelephant.jpg|thumb|200px|right|David's worldview in summation.]]
David Jon Sponheim spends his time living in the house that he inherited from his parents, [[HA HA|who are now dead]].
He extracts rent from Sarah, a substitute [[teacher]] and the home's breadwinner.
Instead of getting a job or doing any actual campaign work, Dave spends all day watching Alex Jones, blindly believing in every stupid [[conspiracy theory]] that finds him to blame society for his lack of self-confidence.
His online show...er "campaign," consists of him patronizing retarded faggots that think he's awesome, performing shitty impressions of presidents and other famous people, raging and banning anybody who dares disagree with him, and replaying the same seven conspiracy videos again and again.
In truth, David should have been the leader of some suicide cult, and would have ultimately done the world a huge favor.
 
The [[Shit nobody cares about|party platform]] involves a [[old|new]] economic model called [[socialism|hybrid capitalism]], where the [[government]] would compete in the private sector as a business.
David's careful research has proven this would have no adverse effects on the [[capitalism|free market]], as if public [[school]]s don't compete with private ones making private schools more expensive.
While David is busy labeling his adversaries as [[NSA]] puppets, he remains willfully ignorant that his own [http://www.americasthirdparty.com/CivilDefense/CyberSurveillance platform] [[facepalm|supports the NSA]].
His favorite plan is to build a seawater pipeline, because [http://www.oceanpipeline.com/ "much of our country is uninhabitable due to a lack of water."]
 
His show provides online entertainment six days a week, consisting of "Conspiracy Monday," "Truth Tuesday," "Wasteful Wednesday," "Technology Thursday," "Freedom Friday," and "Anti-War Rally Saturday."
But let's be honest, every day is Conspiracy Monday!
Such unoriginal greatness includes that oft repeated Alex Jones lie that duh natzis used fluoride on da jews, and that fluoride also caused [[Columbine]]; because the best way for a tyrannical regime to pacify its people into submission is to [[Seems legit|send them on murderous rampages]].
Like any other [[conspiratard]], his worldview centers around an awareness of the Jewish question, but because of the [[Holocaust|six trillion]] and a need to be PC to gather social proof, they have convinced themselves of the truth of euphemisms such that "globalist" "banker" "elite" "media"—with Jewish names—funded EVIL NAZI [[Hitler|HITLER]].
 
=== Thursday Slop Meal Cooking Shows ===
In addition to his "Technology Thursday" show, David demonstrates his ability to create inexpensive, nutritious, and non-GMO family-sized meals for the first hour of his show (starting at 8pm EST on Thurs). David often uses items from his personal garden, expired ingredients, and food purchased from deep discount stores.
 
David's key cooking ingredients include celery, 7 year old italian seasoning, green peppers, onions, some sort of sausage or sausage-like pork item, eggs, and other nightshade vegetables. It is known that Sarah has difficulties digesting nightshade vegetables and eggs, but for some reason, David continues to use these as staple ingredients.
 
David has also claimed to have perfected (and invented) a "Steam Fry" cooking technique, which is often him pouring water into whatever he seems to be sautéing in a skillet at the time to avoid a fire. David also uses an unsharpened meat cleaver to cut all vegetables. At times, he will unveil his "Flex Cooking" technique, which is often a substitution or addition within his recipe (such as adding canned fish juice to his boiling pasta water or using 20 year old grits to substitute mashed potatoes for his "Bangers N' Mash" recipe).
 
=== Media Coverage of David's Campaign ===
Although David claims he received no media coverage in the 2016 elections, he was covered in a [https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/videos/meet-the-bizarre-fringe-candidates-running-for-president-20150708 Rolling Stone article] as a fringe candidate.


[[Shit nobody cares about|The party platform]] involves a [[old|new]] economic model called [[socialism|hybrid capitalism]].  The idea is for [[government]] to compete in the private sector as a business, with no adverse effects in the [[capitalism|free market]], as if public [[school]]s don't exist and have no crowding out effect. While calling all his trolls [[NSA]] [[sock puppets|puppets]], he is unaware his own [http://www.americasthirdparty.com/CivilDefense/CyberSurveillance platform] [[facepalm|supports the NSA]]. His favorite plan is to build a seawater pipeline, because "Much of our country is uninhabitable due to a lack of water."
== YouTube ==
[[File:blindmenandelephant.jpg|thumb|200px|right|David's worldview in summation.]]
[[File:Joker dark low angle.jpg|thumb|right|Look familiar at all? No?]]
The show is broadcast six days a week, consisting of "Conspiracy Monday," "Truth Tuesday," "Wasteful Wednesday," "Technology Thursday," "Fun Friday," and "Anti-War Saturday," but let's be honest, every day is Conspiracy Monday.  You will hear such greatness as that oft repeated Alex Jones lie that duh natzis used fluoride on da jews, and that fluoride also caused [[Columbine]]; because the best way to pacify people into submission of your tyrannical regime is to make them capable of going off on murderous rampages. Like most conspiratards, his worldview centers around an awareness of the Jewish question, but because of the [[Holocaust|six trillion]] and a need to be PC to gather social proof, they have convinced themselves of the truth of euphemisms such that "globalist" "banker" "elite" "media" funded EVIL NAZI [[Hitler|HITLER]].
{{Videoframe|vf1|{{roundy|.9em}}background-color:white;border:.5em solid lightgray;margin:0 auto 1em auto;|font-weight:bold;
<center>
{{fv|ATPHH|background:transparent;|font-weight:bold;
|<youtube>GDEsG9uj3Q0</youtube>
|<youtube>GDEsG9uj3Q0</youtube>
|<youtube>ztqrAaUb2-o</youtube>
|<youtube>ztqrAaUb2-o</youtube>
|<youtube>9An1sHmoSCY</youtube>
|<youtube>9An1sHmoSCY</youtube>
}}
}}
</center>
{{clear}}


== BROKE OBOMBUS ==
== BROKE OBOMBUS ==
Line 53: Line 99:
File:David_Jon_Sponheim_Birth_Cert.png|<center>[[Asking for it|David's proof that he is in fact American]]</center>
File:David_Jon_Sponheim_Birth_Cert.png|<center>[[Asking for it|David's proof that he is in fact American]]</center>
File:Davidwitthebrothas.jpg|<center>David taking special caution around [[niggers|people of color]]</center>
File:Davidwitthebrothas.jpg|<center>David taking special caution around [[niggers|people of color]]</center>
File:Davebwah.png|<center>Bwahhh</center>
File:Daveheadshots.jpg
File:Davecarl.jpg|<center>Party donations help him make trips to lecture a retard in a mickey mouse shirt.</center>
File:Uglysarahhartatp.jpg|<center>More glam shots!</center>
File:Uglysarahhartatp.jpg|<center>More glam shots!</center>
</gallery>|<gallery perrow=5>
File:SarahHartNoThanks.jpg|<center>[[DO NOT WANT]]</center>
File:SarahHartNoThanks.jpg|<center>[[DO NOT WANT]]</center>
</gallery>|<gallery perrow=5>
File:Davebwah.png|<center>[[Waaaambulance|Bwahhh]]</center>
File:Davecarl.jpg|<center>Party donations help him make trips to lecture a retard in a mickey mouse shirt.</center>
File:Daverica.png
File:ATPhouse.jpg|<center>Where the magic happens</center>
File:ATPhouse.jpg|<center>Where the magic happens</center>
File:Daverica.png
File:DavidsInnovativeGenius.png|<center>David's design of an airship that travels up to 400 MPH is one example of his vast knowledge of aerophysics.</center>
File:DavidsInnovativeGenius.png|<center>David's design of an airship that travels up to 400 MPH is one example of his vast knowledge of aerophysics.</center>
File:seawaterpipeline.png|<center>Obama fears MS Paint</center>
File:seawaterpipeline.png|<center>Obama fears MS Paint</center>
File:jewconspiracy.jpg|<center>Replace the star with a dollar sign and Dave would agree.</center>
File:davidyahoo.png|<center>[[Truth]]
</center>
</gallery>|border=black|background=black|margin=auto}}</center><br />
</gallery>|border=black|background=black|margin=auto}}</center><br />


== How to Troll ATP ==
== How to Troll ATP ==
*Acknowledge reality
*Acknowledge reality
*Correct David
*Offer [[Constructive Criticism]]
*Disagree
*Be a [[Nazi|White Nationalist]]
*Support Obama
*Let Dave know Sarah is the breadwinner, so he is technically a [[woman]]
*Ask Dave when the show starts
*Ask Dave when the show starts
*Tell David that his caricature of the [[black]] man known as [[Obama]], is also racist.
*Ask Dave what "hybrid capitalism" is hybridized with
*Ask how many state ballots they are on
*Ask how many state ballots they are on
*Tell Dave that he is a racist when he does the stereotypical [[nigger]] voice
*Be a [[White nationalist]]
*Advocate [[Holocaust denial|Holocaust revisionism]]
*Ask David if it's true he has never had unprotected sex with Sarah, and if that makes him a virgin
*Claim various historical events are fake, if he claims there is proof, tell him the proof is CGI.
*Call Dave a socialist
*Call Dave a socialist
*Ask Dave what "hybrid capitalism" is hybridized with
*Offer David Jon Sponheim a political bribe to cease his campaign
*Say Dave's impressions suck
*Correct David
*Demand more blackface  
*Demand more blackface  
*Tell Dave he is being condescending to whatever downs patient he is chatting up
*Get Dave a job
*Offer David that you will find him a job
*Disagree
*Make homosexual advances towards David
*Advocate for the [[Flat Earth Society]]
*Ask David Sponheim about his Albanian-Kosovo connection, inquire what he was doing in Bosnia during the 1990's
*Let Dave know Sarah is the breadwinner, so he is technically a [[woman]]
*Let Dave know his SAT score contradicts his pretend, impossible IQ
*Let Dave know his SAT score contradicts his pretend, impossible IQ
*Get Dave a job
*Offer [[Constructive Criticism]]
*Say Dave's impressions suck
*Support Obama
*Support Trump
*Mention you cast your write-in vote for David, but misspelled his name as "Hillary Clinton"
*Tell Dave he is being condescending to whatever Down's Syndrome patient he is chatting up
*Video call Sarah, during a broadcast, showing clothed upper body and stroking a cat. When the cat leaves, stand up to reveal your naked buttocks. Proceed to shake what your momma gave you, for as long as possible


== See Also ==
== See Also ==
Line 87: Line 150:
*[[Narcissistic Personality Disorder]]
*[[Narcissistic Personality Disorder]]
*[[Victim Complex]]
*[[Victim Complex]]
*[[Unwarranted Self Importance]]<br />
*[[Unwarranted Self Importance]]
*[[VonHelton]]<br />


== External Links ==
== External Links ==
 
*[http://www.ivlog.tv/user/americasthirdparty ATP on iVlog]
*[http://vaughnlive.tv/thirdparty ATP on Vaughnlive]
*[http://vaughnlive.tv/thirdparty ATP on Vaughnlive]
*[http://tinychat.com/thirdparty ATP on Tinychat]
*[http://tinychat.com/thirdparty ATP on Tinychat]
Line 100: Line 164:
*[http://www.amazon.com/Hybrid-Capitalism-David-Jon-Sponheim-ebook/dp/B00715SU2C Their shitty book]
*[http://www.amazon.com/Hybrid-Capitalism-David-Jon-Sponheim-ebook/dp/B00715SU2C Their shitty book]


 
{{Politics}}
{{ytseries}}
{{ytseries}}
{{truth}}
{{truth}}
{{Politics}}
{{Dying Alone}}
{{Dying Alone}}
[[Category:People|Sponheim, David Jon]]
[[Category:People|Sponheim, David Jon]]
{{Timeline|Featured article March 2nd & 3rd, [[2014]]|[[The Fine Bros]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[George Zimmerman's Big Game Hunter]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article March 2nd & 3rd, [[2014]]|[[The Fine Bros]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[George Zimmerman's Big Game Hunter]]}}
{{corner|tr|[[Image:DaveFloat.png|75px|link=Oh noes]]}}

Latest revision as of 14:35, 22 August 2024

Nobody has heard of this person, but whoever they are, vandalizing this article only makes us want to learn more...



This article is paid for by taxpayers like you.
Thanks, America.


Stand aside, Obama.

America's Third Party is the manifestation of the midlife crisis of the racist, closeted-homosexual, chronically-unemployed, narcissistic David Jon Sponheim.

After David realized how pointless his life has been, living in his parent's van, eating out of the trash — he was born addicted to nicotine as his mother smoked ten a day while pregnant, he now desires to redeem himself by running for President of the United States, with his unshaven lover Sarah L. Hart as his running mate. Despite a vigorous attempt at running a presidential campaign on internet cam sites with a poor copy of Alex Jones, their party still consists of only two members and the occasional moral support of a few literal retards.

A True Founding Father

David's beautiful companion

During a certain period in America, parents were encouraged to teach their worthless children they could grow up to become anything they wanted to be, regardless of actual skill and aptitude.

Children during this time were raised as though they were a special snowflake, and carried the mentality into adulthood that whether win or lose, they'd still be someone important.

What could possibly go wrong?

After spending his entire life knowing nothing about politics, David Jon Sponheim founded a political party that speaks to the people — all 54 of them on Facebook. Originally the party was a joint effort between David and Sarah, with Sarah being the only one to actually run for the Washington State Senate; but Sarah had to step aside to Dave's greatness. In a lame attempt to appeal to America's kiddies, the party started with the awful name "cool rock party." You can find David rocking the vote with black face-paint, reminding everyone that all of America's problems are to blame on the president being a nigger. As your standard yuppie generation faggot, David is acutely aware that niggers are inferior, but as a fellow inferior with a lust for popularity to sooth his fragile ego, he has a constant need to hide this fact when you aren't stealing all his narcissistic supply like evil Obama. But remember, he's not a racist, he's an American!!

David considers anyone who works for the Government a scumbag, including Military personal and ICE agents, because one deports illegals and the other kills people when they are told to do so. I guess protecting America from being invaded is a job only scumbags would do. David Met Sarah Hart his partner in an AOL chat room when she was 15 years old back in the day.

As of 2018, David primarily dual streams from Vaughnlive and ivlog, while hosting a Periscope stream via his twitter account. He previously had a younow account which happens to be a website for kids. YouNow is full of pedophiles who always flirt with the young kids when they see them on camera chatting. It is believed he was banned for racist and homophobic hate speech.

Die Partei ist David

A vote for David is a vote for Timmy.

What you have to understand about Dave is, he's something of a big deal. He was a chess master and valedictorian of his class, and would have been accepted into the top schools if it was not for affirmative action, which allowed Obama to take his place. He had to go to his last choice, UCLA, and dropped out after two years due to communist professors laughing him out of the building on a daily basis.

He once interrupted Milton Friedman with his whining, later claiming that he totally pwned him in a debate. David has an IQ of 185 and the best ideas you have never heard of because of the man keeping him down, such as tying a Boeing plane to a blimp. He remains mysteriously unemployed while knowing more about every subject than the experts paid to know about the subject. Being originally from California, he has a made-up story about meeting every celebrity under the sun. David loves to gaslight and use big words incorrectly. Fitting with his Alex Jones style, he knows the least about Nazis despite always talking about them. Contradicting him always leads to epic amounts of tard rage, accusations that you've been paid by the government and naturally you just threatened his life. He will also randomly invoke "you think in black and white, there is grey area." Oh, David has a multimillion dollar security system (i.e., two BB guns) ready for anybody who shows up at his door.

Demonstrating that he's a trustworthy individual, it takes David years to acknowledge he may have been wrong. Pictured left is a retarded guy who pretended to be a war hero, only seeming retarded because he fell 6000 feet from a helicopter. The same guy also pretends to be a doctor. Dave refused to believe he was lying for years until someone donated to force him to watch a video where he admitted it. David also maintains contact with a "Doctor" Mount, who received his doctorate in bible studies from some diploma mill, and is thus an expert in foreign relations. In general, David is very gullible. Getting into his inner circle is easy, pretend to be a secret gubment special ops with insider information, and you'll be able to get on his show and ramble utter nonsense on the air.

Being too much of an introvert to get outside and meet someone, he met his lover in some chat room for desperate singles. The two met sometime around 1999, Dave was 38 and she was 20. At the time she was a welfare recipient and more than happy to put up with Dave's bullshit to keep a roof over her head. Nobody has ever seen Dave kiss her on the lips, indicating he is one of those asexual narcissists.

The Campaign Trail

The time tested strategy of perpetually campaigning online is proven to be the most effective.
David's worldview in summation.

David Jon Sponheim spends his time living in the house that he inherited from his parents, who are now dead. He extracts rent from Sarah, a substitute teacher and the home's breadwinner. Instead of getting a job or doing any actual campaign work, Dave spends all day watching Alex Jones, blindly believing in every stupid conspiracy theory that finds him to blame society for his lack of self-confidence. His online show...er "campaign," consists of him patronizing retarded faggots that think he's awesome, performing shitty impressions of presidents and other famous people, raging and banning anybody who dares disagree with him, and replaying the same seven conspiracy videos again and again. In truth, David should have been the leader of some suicide cult, and would have ultimately done the world a huge favor.

The party platform involves a new economic model called hybrid capitalism, where the government would compete in the private sector as a business. David's careful research has proven this would have no adverse effects on the free market, as if public schools don't compete with private ones making private schools more expensive. While David is busy labeling his adversaries as NSA puppets, he remains willfully ignorant that his own platform supports the NSA. His favorite plan is to build a seawater pipeline, because "much of our country is uninhabitable due to a lack of water."

His show provides online entertainment six days a week, consisting of "Conspiracy Monday," "Truth Tuesday," "Wasteful Wednesday," "Technology Thursday," "Freedom Friday," and "Anti-War Rally Saturday." But let's be honest, every day is Conspiracy Monday! Such unoriginal greatness includes that oft repeated Alex Jones lie that duh natzis used fluoride on da jews, and that fluoride also caused Columbine; because the best way for a tyrannical regime to pacify its people into submission is to send them on murderous rampages. Like any other conspiratard, his worldview centers around an awareness of the Jewish question, but because of the six trillion and a need to be PC to gather social proof, they have convinced themselves of the truth of euphemisms such that "globalist" "banker" "elite" "media"—with Jewish names—funded EVIL NAZI HITLER.

Thursday Slop Meal Cooking Shows

In addition to his "Technology Thursday" show, David demonstrates his ability to create inexpensive, nutritious, and non-GMO family-sized meals for the first hour of his show (starting at 8pm EST on Thurs). David often uses items from his personal garden, expired ingredients, and food purchased from deep discount stores.

David's key cooking ingredients include celery, 7 year old italian seasoning, green peppers, onions, some sort of sausage or sausage-like pork item, eggs, and other nightshade vegetables. It is known that Sarah has difficulties digesting nightshade vegetables and eggs, but for some reason, David continues to use these as staple ingredients.

David has also claimed to have perfected (and invented) a "Steam Fry" cooking technique, which is often him pouring water into whatever he seems to be sautéing in a skillet at the time to avoid a fire. David also uses an unsharpened meat cleaver to cut all vegetables. At times, he will unveil his "Flex Cooking" technique, which is often a substitution or addition within his recipe (such as adding canned fish juice to his boiling pasta water or using 20 year old grits to substitute mashed potatoes for his "Bangers N' Mash" recipe).

Media Coverage of David's Campaign

Although David claims he received no media coverage in the 2016 elections, he was covered in a Rolling Stone article as a fringe candidate.

YouTube

Look familiar at all? No?

BROKE OBOMBUS


Gallery

America's Third Gallery About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


How to Troll ATP

  • Acknowledge reality
  • Ask Dave when the show starts
  • Tell David that his caricature of the black man known as Obama, is also racist.
  • Ask Dave what "hybrid capitalism" is hybridized with
  • Ask how many state ballots they are on
  • Tell Dave that he is a racist when he does the stereotypical nigger voice
  • Be a White nationalist
  • Advocate Holocaust revisionism
  • Ask David if it's true he has never had unprotected sex with Sarah, and if that makes him a virgin
  • Claim various historical events are fake, if he claims there is proof, tell him the proof is CGI.
  • Call Dave a socialist
  • Offer David Jon Sponheim a political bribe to cease his campaign
  • Correct David
  • Demand more blackface
  • Get Dave a job
  • Offer David that you will find him a job
  • Disagree
  • Make homosexual advances towards David
  • Advocate for the Flat Earth Society
  • Ask David Sponheim about his Albanian-Kosovo connection, inquire what he was doing in Bosnia during the 1990's
  • Let Dave know Sarah is the breadwinner, so he is technically a woman
  • Let Dave know his SAT score contradicts his pretend, impossible IQ
  • Offer Constructive Criticism
  • Say Dave's impressions suck
  • Support Obama
  • Support Trump
  • Mention you cast your write-in vote for David, but misspelled his name as "Hillary Clinton"
  • Tell Dave he is being condescending to whatever Down's Syndrome patient he is chatting up
  • Video call Sarah, during a broadcast, showing clothed upper body and stroking a cat. When the cat leaves, stand up to reveal your naked buttocks. Proceed to shake what your momma gave you, for as long as possible

See Also

External Links

America's Third Party
is part of a series on Politics.
Ideologies: [You are wrong!We are right!]

Alt-rightAnarchyCapitalismCentrismCommunismConservatismCyanismDemocratHippieLiberalismLibertarianismMiltopismNaziNihilismNeo-conPacifismRepublicanReconquistaSocialismStoner GuruTory

Issues: [Fuck it, Too lazy.Get it fixed!]

AbortionArab SpringBahrainBarron TrumpBirthCISPADeath penaltyDrugsEnvironmentalismGaysGeorge Bush doesn't care about black peopleGirlfriendsMarijuana AddictionGround Zero MosqueMarijuana AddictionMass ShootingGun controlGunsHealthcare (2) (3)• HomelessHousing CrisisHuntingIceslaveIranMarriageMiller TestMiltopiaNAUPimpin'RacismShoesTaxesTerrorismUnemploymentWarWelfare

Politicians: [Rigging Elections is funVote for me]

AhmadinejadAkinAOCB.AllenG. AllenAngleAshburnBachmannBhuttoBin LadenH.BidenJ.BidenBlagojevichBlairBoehnerG.BrownS.BrownBunningJim TraficantDubya BushGeorge H. W. BushBurrByrdCainCameronChavezCheCheneyChomskyChretienChurchillClintonClinton IIChelsea Clinton Hillary Clinton CleggCohenColemanCorbynCowgerCraigCthulhuCunninghamCurtisD'AlemaDeanDelayDuterteDwyerEdwardsFaganFiorinaFoleyGerald FordRob FordGellerGillardGingrichGiulianiGonzalesGoreGrahamGravelGreeneGriffinHagueHansonHardingHarperHarrisHitlerHowardHuckabeeHusseinJacksonJamesJidetteJohnsonJohnson, BorisKennedyLaRoucheLBJLottKerryKindKissingerKucinichLewinskyLiebermanLimbaughLoughnerMajorMarceaux.comMarxMcBerryMcCainMcConnellMcHenryMcKinneyMercerMichael BloombergMooreMorocco MoleMussoliniNaderNixonObamaO'DonnellOsbornePainePaladinoPalinPaulPelosiPencePerryPinochetPrittPutinQuahQuayleRasanskyReaganRendellRiceRobertsonRomneyRoveRuddRumsfeldRyanSaakashviliSandersSantorumSchumerSchwarzeneggerSharptonCyril SmithJacqui SmithSpitzerStevensStranahanSupremeTaitzThatcherThompsonThorleyTPMMuckraker MoleTrudeauTrumpVanceVenturaVitterWalzWarsiWashingtonWaxmanWeinerWestWilliamsWilsonWolfowitzXXenophon

Parties: [No beer? Fuck that.Hell yeah, a party!]

America's Third PartyBlack BlocDramacratic PartyHard PartyLemon PartyLiberal Party of AustraliaNorth American DONG PartyOBAMACORNSocialist Workers PartyPirate PartyZapatistas

Tactics: [Rage Quit.How do I get elect?]

2013 US Government ShutdownBlaming ChinaCaptain Nigga DefendaCloward Piven StrategyCritical race theoryCuckservativesDemockeryDoomsday ClockG20 Toronto LollercaustLiberal Butthurt SyndromeLiberal guiltMacaca#NotMySuperbowlChampsOccupy DemocratsOperation LemonpartyRaped StatisticsThe ResistanceUpworthyWunderground

See also: 2012 Elections2016 Presidential Elections2020 Presidential Elections2024 USA Presidential ElectionsInternet PoliticsPizzaGatePolitical communitiesRoe v. Wade

America's Third Party is part of a series on YouTube.

Visit the YouTube Portal

America's Third Party is part of a series on

Truth

Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage.

America's Third Party is part of a series on Dying Alone

[DeadCry yourself to sleep]

Those Who Have Died Alone

Aaron AlexisAaron BushnellAaron SwartzAdam LanzaAlexis ArquetteAmanda ToddAmy WinehouseAnal CuntAndy KaufmanAngry GrandpaAnna Nicole SmithAnthony WarnerAsa CoonBrian AdamsBrandon CrispByuuCharmaine DragunCho Seung-HuiChris BenoitChris Harper-MercerChynaCodey PorterDavid BowieDavid CarradineDragoneerEazy-EEdaremElliot RodgerElvis PresleyGeorge SodiniGizgizGleb KorablevHappyCabbieHarambeH.P. LovecraftHeath LedgerJake DavisonJeff WeiseJewWarioJim MorrisonKate SpadeKitty0706Kurt CobainLemonade CoyoteLeelah AlcornLil PeepLiloLoki BlackfangLowtaxMia JaninMegan MeierMichael JacksonMitchell HendersonMySpaceNathan GaleNikita LytkinOtoya YamaguchiPekka-Eric AuvinenPrinceRandy StairRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRina PalenkovaRipperRobin WilliamsRonnie McNuttRudolph ZurickRyan PalmeterShawn WoolleyShayShuaibySol PaisStephen PaddockSteve StephensThomas Matthew CrooksTony48219TooDamnFilthyTyler DumstorfVester FlanaganWilliam AtchisonXXXTentacionZhao Zewei

Those Dying Alone

03bgood2cash2 gryphon7jackass77Adam SandlerAhuviya HarelAIDS SkrillexAkewsticRockRAlex FordAlison RappAmerica's Third PartyAmy SchumerAndrew AllansonAngry JoeAnimatedJamesAnita SarkeesianAnonymous BorgAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoAntony AguilarApril DavisAquagirlwhitefoxArgent009Arguecat3Arin HansonArmake21AsalieriAsher2500Austin AlexanderAvantGardePonyBambifan101BarneyfagBasement DwellersBen FordBen MoynihanBenny_the_SnakeBenthelooneyBig RedBikerfoxBill9929Bill GaedeBill GatesBLACKbusterCriticBob RehahnBrandontheMovieGuyBrandon SmithBrian MuellerBrian Richard ZaigerBrianna WuBroniesButLovaByAppointmentToCarl the CuckCartoonjunkieCaseydeckerCatboyKamiCheeyevChloe SagalChris-chanChris CrockerChuck M.Clint of Rise and FallCopperCabCorey MargeraCoughlan666CrazyvideosandrantsCrinklemonCyraxxDaniel BrandtDan CilleyDane CookDani FilthDarius McCollumDarknessthecurseDarksydePhilDave ChapelleDave MustaineDavid HockeyDaxflameDBoyWheelerDeekerDeterminedToDrawUTDev-catscratchDGTrixieDiaper BoyDillon CosseyDiogo MendesDisneyFan01DisneyMasterDJ KEEMSTARDnepropetrovsk maniacsDodgerofZionDogpatch PressDon RobertsDoodletonesDoomer3868Dorian_GayDoug WalkerDrakonDrossRotzankDoomentioDustinEDP445Emer PrevostEmosEpic Fat GuyEpicKitty54Eric AbramovEric RidenourErik RibsskogErtasVideosFilthy FrankFagolescentsFanFic CriticFast EddieFat ManFaust & Pory Five Nights at Freddy's fansFlardoxFluffy teh wolfForeverKailynFriends of A-LogFurriesG-ZayGather Against FateGeorge LopezGeosheaGhostGirlvinylGlobelampGoddessMilleniaGraykatGreg MazujianGwen GaleGwen StefaniHarmful OpinionsHellkiller777I Dislike Cis PeopleI Hate EverythingIan Miles CheongIchverboticze⁴rImma-The-DeerInkBunnyIsabella Loretta JankeJamil The KingJessi SlaughterJessica LeedsJim ProfitJINXDROWNEDJoe Crusher PicklesJoekerJohn BullaJohn FieldJohn KricfalusiJohn Patrick RogersJonathan McIntoshJonmonJonTronJoseph CampJoseph8276Joshua "Null" MoonJuggalosJustinRPGKat DenningsKendall JennerKeegan SalisburyKathleen ToddKenny GlennKevin HavensKeffalsKimmo Johan AlmKingEmpoleonKingMasterReviewKrashedLaci GreenLarry the Cable GuyLauren FaustLeafyIsHereLecarickLeigh AlexanderLeisureSuitGamingLena DunhamLeonard F. Shaner Jr.Leslie JonesLifeInATentLikeicareLinkaraLittleCloudLittleKuribohLogo KidsLordelthibarLow Tier GodLucian HodobocM. ChaosA Man in BlackManchildrenMar9122MarblesMarioMario456MariotehplumberMarjan SiklicmasteroogwgayMatthew DavisMatthew NicholsonMcJuggerNuggetsMDetector5‎MeowbarkMeganSpeaksMichael BattonMichael FitzhywelMichael GimsonMike SandyMoleman9000Monica PunkMonkeyGameGuidesMoviebobMumkey JonesMuZemikeMylarBalloonFanMysteriousMrEnterMysticArkNaokoElric2250NawlinWikiNeckbeardsNeoGAFNick BateNick BravoNikkineko333Noah AntwilerNostalgia ChickNotchNullcherriObjectfagsOFWGKTAOnideus Mad HatterOnyx ForepawPacificoceanasiaPaigeGirlPaul FeigPaulie CalafioreParkourdude91Peter BrightPeter CoffinPhantomStrider8Phil FishPhunWithLogicPinkieponyPit ViperPixyteriPeluchin EntertainmentPMRantsPreachingthegospelQuentin TarantinoRachael MacFarlaneRandi HarperRichard ReidRicki RavenRMG ProductionsRobert StaintonRobert Wayne StilesRockosockoRomeo RoseRootbrianRose3212Ryan RouthSad FrogSammyClassicSonicFanSam PepperSarah ButtsSarahisniftySaturnDOSSceptreSchnookumsSegacampSega KidSeth MacFarlaneSethistoShadmanSimply OkamiSlowbeef & DiabetusSnapesnoggerSonic SaviorSonmanicSony-MaeSophie LabelleSpax3StormySuperlisamcbSusan BoyleTara StrongTheAmazingAtheistTheDOSFagTheSockDetectiveTim BuckleyTJ LaneTodd in the ShadowsTom PrestonToonEGuyTourneyfagsTrey Eric SeslerTrigglypuffTyciolTyler GarmanyUlillilliaThe Unknown AutobotVadeVinceintheBayWade FulpWeatherManKevinWesley!!!WoWfan4lifeWwwareaWeegeeisgoingtokillmXenuriaYandereDevYoshiwii1Youyoungbloodfantasy91Zoe QuinnZone

Their Methods

9gagAdventure TimeAn HeroAIDSAnimuAlt-rightArt SchoolA-Log's Fanfictionask.fmAsperger's SyndromeAssigned MaleBath SaltsThe Big Bang TheoryBattle For Dream IslandBlackLivesMatterBlack metalBody PillowsBonziWORLDBitViewBoozeBullyingBuzzFeedChildren's CartoonsClown WorldComputer Science IIICosplayCumOnPrintedPics.ComCupheadDead FriendDeath metalDeath penaltyDating SimsDeviantARTDiscordDrugsEdginessFamily GuyFanFictionFeminismFedoraFidget spinnerThe Filthy Frank ShowFive Nights at Freddy'sFleshlightFriend ZoneFurAffinityFurry ArtFun Shitposting WikiGarry's ModGenshin ImpactGoAnimate!GooglewhackingGorillazGothsGravity FallsGreen DayGreeny PhatomGrindcoreHackingHappy Madison ProductionsHomestuck‎Hover hand‎HufflepuffHigh ScoreIncelcoreIndie musicInfantilismInsane Clown PosseIntrovertInvisible GirlfriendIRCJenkemKiwi FarmsKotakuLeague of LegendsLegoLibertarianismLiveJournalLonelyLoveShyMai WaifuMass ShootingsMen's rights activismMinecraftMLP ForumsMMORPGsMGTOWMUDsMy Little PonyMy Tiny DickNice GuyismNu metalOculus RiftOh ShiternetOnline datingOnline sex gamesOverwatchPlastic CrapPlenty of Fish/r9k/Rick and MortyRobloxRule 34RuneScapeSchool ShootingsSecond LifeSelf-VictimizationShy Boys IRLSilk Screen Goku ShirtSlayerSlipknotSluthateSmogon UniversitySocial JusticeSource FilmmakerSouth ParkSparkalloonSpeakoniaStar vs. the Forces of EvilSteven UniverseTaking the Internet Too SeriouslyTeam Fortress 2That Guy With The GlassesThe Anytown ShowThe EntersphereThe SimsThey Might Be GiantsTomb RaiderToolTransformersTulpasTumblrTV Tropestwenty one pilotsUnchartedUncle GrandpaUncyclopediaUndertaleUnikittyUTTPVidLiiVirginityVirtual YoutubersVloggerheadsWatchMojo.comWeezerWikimaniaWizardchanWorld of WarcraftYIIK: A Post-Modern RPGYouTube

Featured article March 2nd & 3rd, 2014
Preceded by
The Fine Bros
America's Third Party Succeeded by
George Zimmerman's Big Game Hunter