- Portals
- The Current Year
- ED in the News
- Admins
- Help ED Rebuild
- Archive
- ED Bookmarklet
- Donate Bitcoin
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
Barcelona Death Van 2017
 |
This article has been cleaned up, and it was a trip to hell and back. Please, don't fuck it up. |
|
This article needs moar content. You can help by adding moar content. |
|
| |
|---|---|
| Youness Abouyaaqoub & Friends | |
| Born | Ca. 1995 |
| Nationality | Sandnigger 
|
| Highscore | 16 kills, 151 wounded |
| Top 50? | 13th |
| Style | Carmageddon, Hack'n'Slash, CO-OP mode |
| An Hero? | No (8 killed by police, 1 V& after being wounded) |
Barcelona Death Van 2017 was a motor-vehicle and knife exhibition that was held in Barcelona, Spain, on August 17th, 2017. The event was organized by a group of peaceful Muslims who were slightly inspired by Scandi-truck simulator, few months before and French-truck simulator, a year before they started their epic amoklauf for Allah.
Shit happens
It's basically the daily, normal thing in Europe.
- ISIS claims credit.
- Butthurt starts and UE leaves an entire pool of tears everywhere
- Officials say the attack has nothing to do with Islam.
- The government proposes laws to ban cars.
- Everyone forgets about in a months and life keeps going on.
Venue
La Rambla, in the heart of Barcelona, is a mile-long tree-lined avenue that stinks of blocked drains, like everywhere else in the city. The street is full of pickpockets, whores, and junkies, and is renowned as being the biggest crime hotspot in the whole of Spain. 2017's carnage was therefore only to be expected. Criminologists suggest that the Spanish police's slowness to apprehend the driver of the death van was a result of them hoping he would come back and do it again, to wipe out some more of the usual suspects who have reserved bunks at the local jail. Many locals shared this optimism since it could have curtailed the epidemic of "living statue" mimes stationed along the Rambla, which has now reached such proportions that there is approximately one mime per tourist. Also, aparte from the Rambla, Subirats, where Youness got B& from existance and Cambrils, are towns where the catalonian independentists organized their protests. Well, in all Catalonia where organized, and got their ass butthurt when our Mudslim heros teach them a lesson; Independece from Spain is Haram. You all gonna cry blood if you try.
Gameplay
All Loadout
| For Allah's setup | |
|---|---|
| Item | Accessories/Bonus |
 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
1st bloods
1 day after the mudslimes bombed his house, they bombed an abandoned house again to make lulz. The terrorists, at around 5:00 p.m., went GTA, running over a large handful of liberal independentists in a zig zag, leaving 13 people crushed by the van's wheels and moar than a hundred injured. The driver, Moussa Oukabir, only 17 years old, who was manipulated by his friend, the ringleader of this masacre, Younes Abouyaaqoub. While Moussa was fucked up, Youness hid in the scared crowd running like a faggot, pretending to be a victim. And he did well!. Later, that number increased to 15, after 2 fags got stabbed by the evil master, Youness. The driver of the car, was a guy that got killed by Youness the ringleader of the terrorist cell.
2nd kills
The day after the lulz, 5 remaining terrorists, the failed electees of Youness celebrating on their homes the victory and excited about doing the part 2, stole another car and began high scoring, GTA x Carmageddon style with it, killing a single frag and injuring 5 NPCs and a police officer who was there on suspicion for the attack the previous day. The police, who were there, shot down 4 of the 5 mudslimes, who had no escape. The last one, began stabbing people only injuring a faggot who was there as an NPC. The terrorists, had a 3 level star so a police helicopter shot him down GTA style after locating him. The dead mudslimes; Moussa Oukabir (Ringleader of the V&'s bro), Said Aallaa, Mohamed Hychami, Houssaine Abouyaaqoub (Ringleader's bro), Omar Hycham, had put on a fake bomb belt to troll the pro-independence agents.
End of the Lulz
The ringleader of the cell, Youness, hid near a gas station where the gangs bought cheap drugs and waited there. 3 days after hiding there, a woman located him and called the police. Youness was confronted in an area of vineyards and sclerophyllous trees, where he pretended to activate his fake bomb belt made of cardboard from the Chinese bazaar near him. The agents shot him several times in the chest, surprisingly killing him instantly.
Graded Score
| Kill count: | 16/20 ' |
|---|---|
| Accuracy: | 1/20 Ramming attacks are better with trucks. Also left a huge amount of garbage wounded |
| Style: | 15/20 Nice Truck Attack:The Sequel |
| Butthurt: | 13/20 All EU was shcocked and western EU was absolutly fagged |
| Bonus: | 15/20 Killing independentists is the best way to get into the high scores |
Wanted Level:
___________________
|
___________________
|
Trivia
- All of the terrorist where mudslime moroccan sand niggers.
- No good memorial was made on the rambla, due to the huge amount of memorials of death important people
- Youness, the ringleader, wanted to make Spain "cry blood". AND HE DID IT!
- Driss, the ringleader of those who got V&, got 36 years on prison, were he is currently sucking bubba's feet till he dies from rape and dysentery.
- The attack, was inspired by the Ramadan Van Man, Khalid Masood's Westminster motor massacre, Nice Truck Attack 2016 and the Stockholm Truck Attack 2017, and did it better than almost all, except for the Nice Attack.
- Alek Minassian took notes and imitated them for his trolling attack in 2018..
- After his attack, on 2022, some angry jealous guy called Micael did the same with a car on a wedding in Madrid, score 4 and wounding 8. Got V&
On 2023, an anon guy rammed people with a quad in Alcobendas, Madrid, wounding 8 before an heroing like Karst Tates.
Later, another guy rammed people outside an hospital in Haro, killing a doctor and wounding 5 before gettin V&.
Last but not least, in 2024, Hipólito L.V., a drunk truck driver, rammed and killed 6 policemen adn wounded 3 before being V&. Posible Copycat spawns? You decide.
- This High Score, is Still the highest score on Carmaggedon and Hack'n'slash in Dagoland, with Only 16 kills.
- The separatists have stopped crying about independence and started crying about the Lulzfest. Nowadays, they are not crying anymore, because if they continue with this shit, they will most likely get another one.
- Its been 7 years. Somebody needs to set a New High Score.
- Youness wasn't gay after all photos he took
- Since 2017, Spain hasn't had a epic lulzfest with moar than 10 kills, excluding accidents and natural disasters.
- Youness, was shirtless when he got B& of his existance by the police. That explains why Spain is so hot during August and why he was a gay mudslime.
- The bombs set off on their houses, were to prevent pigs from checking their cell phones for tons of kiddie por and terrorist content.
- Barcelona, after this massacre, became a war zone because of the canis stabbing and streaming shit.
- In 2015, Max Porta was the predecessor of these terrorists. They multiplied his boring school attack by 16 2 years later.
Roadkill Nights Powered by Jihad
See Also
- Alek Minassian - a virgin version of Barcelona but he doesn't have knife to stab.
- James Alex Fields
- Exploding Van
- Guido
- Mudslime
- Spain
- Morocco
- Nice Truck Attack 2016
- Stockholm Truck Attack 2017
- GTA - What the terrorist played hour or days before the attack
