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Trailer Park Princess
A Trailer Park Princess is that special blend of poor white trash and mixed breeding , that her parents have convinced is pure Aryan Stock, has been baby-sat by Disney Princess movies and Cheetos, wrapped up in 2 sizes to small stretch pants, Florida native that dropped out of school at 14 so she can embark on a quest to find her Prince Charming who will make her dreams come true with a free trip to Europe so she can walk in her ancestors homeland.
They are usually shallow, uneducated bores and whores that place looks above education, talent and personality because they have learned that to get what they want all they need to do is throw a shit-fit and cry.
From the ages of 14 to 32 they live a manic filled life, thinking that the world is theirs to be handed to them, but as they grow older, wrinkled, fat and more afraid of being alone, the Trailer Park Princess can be found gravitating towards dive bars and hell holes because her life decisions led her here to scream and cry about how some conspiracy wouldn't let her succeed with all the other bar room failures singing the same song in chorus.
The Making Of
A lack of education and a sticky night in the back of a 1980s Plymouth will often get the ball rolling but what is really needed is a degeneracy and ignorance so great that the only careers open to the parents are ice-cream truck driver and hair sweeper at a pet grooming salon.
To absolutely achieve the goal of bringing a trailer park princess into the world one must have lackadaisical parents who will baby set the kids but put them right in front of the television all day with the brain washing propaganda being pushed by Disney, set on repeat, teaching that a woman isn't complete without a man and will lie, cheat and steal to get her man such as Cinderella, The Little Mermaid and The Empire Strikes Back. To really succeed the best movies are the ones that focus heavily on a girl's looks such as Shrek.
When she reaches 12 or 13 you must chain her to the front porch but allow every boy in the neighborhood to come over, hump her leg and tell her how pretty she is. Bonus points if you let her dye her hair blonde and convince her she has royal heritage in her blood so that she can have a undeserved haughty attitude.
At this age, everything has to be about looks and reminding her that she has to be pretty so she can find a man. Clothes, braces, colour contacts and hair dye are a must.
Ignore any and all lessons in manners because, as a parent, you are ignorant in them too; no one will notice a beer swilling, belching girl at a black tie event.
The final lesson is to ensure that she have an obsession with sex by the time she's eleven. Screw locking the cable box. It's better that she learns the ins-and-outs from Skinimax rather than out on the street.
The goal of your Trailer Park Princess is to move up and carry you, her parents, with you so that you can make the move from 4 wheels to a foundation under your feet.
Moving On Up
So you and your mom are dressed to the nines in matching pink biker pants, blue spandex halter tops and are hanging out at college and military bars hoping to pick up someone with potential who won't care about your Florida trailer trash draw.
Remember what your mother kept telling you growing up when it comes to the boys, all you need to do is just get knocked up by the right one. Child support can be counted on as income and it's even better if you get knocked up by the right family because they will pay you to forget that their son is the father.
Marriage is for suckers, just like mommy taught you, your goal is to space out the kids in four-year increments so that the money keeps coming in.
Supporting Yourself
Since a job is out of the question because You dropped out of school at 14 you can always look to e-whoring on the internet.
The real money lies in porn. You can always do monthly request, such as, taking donations, from fans, so they can see, or request where you'll stick an ear of corn.
For those that lack the body or the personality to keep a following, there's always art requests because no talent is needed when tracing is considered a skill when all anyone wants to see is Sailor Moon sitting on Sailor Venus' face.
Tracing as a living is much like the autistic circus of begging for money. All you need to do is Be A Girl, upload a couple underwear shots while reminding everyone that you have high standards and it took a lot of courage to do this because you would never do anything like this. Contradiction is important. You need to give your White Knights word bites to defend your honour with. So while you are bitching about other artists who can't turn their work in on time remember it's only a ruse to avoid you're inability to turn work in on time.
Other Ways To Support Yourself
- Livestream games. Have your Boyfriend play them and you pretend to.
- Go on Patreon and write a bad comic book.
- Sell Your Mom's jewelry on Ebay
- Steal from your friends and sell it on Ebay
- Shoplift and sell your I'll gotten gains on Ebay
- Sell your panties to Japanese men
- Charge to cosplay at birthday parties
- Welfare
- Whoring
- Drug Dealing
Remember, if you do any of the above - you are obligated to brag about it on Twatter
Whiteknights
Whiteknights are the defenders of your purity and were born only to drive away Trolls so treat them as shitily as you can because, as they're lonely virgin boys they'll keep coming around so long as you acknowledge their existence occasionaly and give them ideas that there is a chance of romance between you and the blooming psychos they are with lots of items that can be misunderstood such as emoji hearts.
If you should tire of someone who should use the dreaded weapon of the truth on twitter or facebook, it is their job to mass mark the fool at your orders to have them banned.
Think of them as your own personal army and if you treat them right you can become a statistic buried in their basement.
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See also
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Trailer Park Princess is part of a series on Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage. |