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Wikipedia IRC Bouncers

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
(Redirected from Tawker)
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During 2006 Wikipedia, in an effort to jew more people out of THE ENCYCLOPEDIA FOR EVERYONE, began op'ing some of the children in their Freenode IRC channels after a careful decision process involving secret ritualized circle jerking. Why did this occur? In earlier days, #wikipedia was initially welcomed with open arms onto Rob Levin's sham of an IRC network. After all, they were a seemingly credible group of elitist Internet enthusiasts. Their channel slowly grew and largely went undisturbed until they started to become the target of repeated attacks from nefarious individuals. Wikipedia suspected that their new IRC paradise had been lost to their feared nemesis the TROLLS and moved to establish a system to keep their much hated rivals out of their secret club house.

You would not believe how many channels they have now. Hundreds of them. All watched 24/7, by Aspie victims of Jimbo's Wrath. There's a full list of them on this page. Don't be fooled, most of them are "dead" and are kept open only to prevent anyone else from seizing the names. The "most important ones" are:

  • wikipedia-en -- the main channel, watched by hundreds of assholes constantly. Here you can participate in insightful discussion about Wikipedia
  • wikipedia-en-admins is where the "real magic" happens, but it's invite-only.
  • wikipedia-arbcom where the "sekret court of bullshit" meets and decides who to ban.
  • wikipedia - largely dead, except for the occasional troll
  • wikimedia-checkuser
  • wikimedia-otrs-watch
  • wikipedia-en-checkuser-clerks
  • wikipedia-mediation
  • wikipedia-en-help (the helpdesk; full of idiots complaining about their declined drafts)
  • wikipedia-en-helpers (where the helpdesk volunteers talk shit about the idiots being helped)
  • wikipedia-blptf
  • wikipedia-en-blp
  • wikipedia-bio
  • wikipedia-social (dead)
  • wikipedia-en-unblock
  • wikipedia-en-accounts
  • wikipedia-medcab
  • defocus
  • countervandalism
  • Plus scores of private and invisible channels where twitching autistic teenagers sit, gobble Twinkies, and PM one another.

A select few users were needed for this plan to serve as enforcers and violently instill the honest values of the wiki project by banning everyone. Following a fevered grab for power, it was agreed that everyone's favorite boy toys would act as babysitters for their group of old men and angry dust filled vaginas that littered the secret chat cabal. Like all upstanding members of the wikipedia community they immediately abused all of their power and cried to their superiors when they couldn't ban the slightest annoyance. Like everything wikipedia has ever gotten involved with it degenerated into the circle jerk no one could edit and IRC Bouncers were chosen repeatedly from entirely arbitrary criteria. Trolls continued to try and persuade them using even handed tactics and persuasive arguments but they were promptly banned for not singing the praises of the holy leader Jimbo. That tyranny remains largely unchanged, still to this day, thanks to a steady stream of common wiki jewery. So without further adieu, presenting, the Wikipedia IRC Bouncers.

Wikipedia IRC bouncers up to their usual tricks.

Tawker

Tawker, or Andrew Phillips, is a grandstanding 13 year old boy and basement dweller who spends his days fighting "vandalism" (i.e. what isn't kosher to him) on TOW. Also a notable IRC bouncer, he is right-wing aspie and according to his picture, ugly as fuck. He has a history of being ruined by the GNAA for trying to censor a perfectly fine article on a perfectly good group of people. Thankfully it seems that Tawker has taken, read "forced by his parents", a hiatus from both IRC and wiki to perhaps tend to the finer things like starting a podcast or tending to his generator. If you think picking on ugly kids who claim to have Asperger's is funny, then fuck you. Just fuck you. HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS HAHAHA UNDERSTAND A JOKE.

   
 
Now, if Stephen Colbert is out there, I’m willing to appear on the show if you put me on report. I need one round trip airfare to New York for the taping but just give me a date and I’ll go.
 

 
 

—Tawker's blog (oops, Colbert's off the air, better luck next time)

In addition to being an IRC bouncer, "Tawker" is a hated administrator for using his blocking ability as a source of blackmail, as shown by his comments on Wikipedia and on his blog at this time. "Tawker" has been persistent in maintaining that he will only unblock Stephen Colbert (who has proved himself the user of the Stephencolbert account) with an appearance on the show. Evidence clearly suggests that the Elephant page was edited by "Stephencolber" three hours before the Colbert Report aired, with the facts that Stephen stated on the report, further justifying his use of this account. Tawker only likes to unblock those he feels a close connection with, as evidenced by his un-banning of confirmed Wikipedo, NathanR.

He also enjoys long walks on the beach, fine wine, and threatening to DDoS Encyclopedia Dramatica. As with all cunty things, he's been slowly losing interest in WP and IRC for years, and only logs in often enough to keep from being raeped. If he does peek his ugly little peepee out, you'll find him on Articles For Deletion, deleting things.

Chat Logs

Tawker is going to bring us an Internet revolution with his generator. (Well, he used to.)

18:03 [Tawker]ok guys
18:03 [OldDirtyBtard]i can oink the wifi from the coffee shop newt door
18:03 [Tawker]my generator just kicked in
18:03 [hepcrime]bring it on tawker
18:03 [hepcrime]lets have a war
18:04 [hepcrime]NO WAR LIKE A HAX WAR
18:04 [Tawker]nah
18:04 [Tawker]I cann DDOS you
18:04 [OldDirtyBtard]hep: i found a new recipe today
18:04 [Tawker]instead
18:04 [Tawker]very easy
Nov 28 01:07:02 <Tawker>	you guys have no podcast
Nov 28 01:07:05 <Tawker>	any serious wiki has a podcast

His Blog

www.tawker.com—You can also sign up to the RSS feed. RSS feeds are pretty cool. lol.

His TOW Userpage

lol Needs no comment.

To fully comprehend what a nerd Tawker is, see this bot, a joint venture of Tawker Arms LLC and Cyde Weys Munitions Inc.

  • "The USS AntiVandalBot fires a full broadside counter-vandalism salvo in support of Operation Enduring Encyclopedia on June 16, 2006."

His crusade against the GNAA

On November 27, 2006 Tawker made an ignorant, stupid (yet typical) wikipedo move that changed his life. He successfully moved for the deletion of the GNAA article on Wikipedia. 18 was enough. The Gay Niggers, clearly insulted, decided to take action to solve the "Wikipedo Question," as it is known and conference called him for much hilarity.

Slowking man

trolled by the ghost of Rob Levin.
trolled by the ghost of Rob Levin.
   
 
ED is a bunch of fucking immature kids
 

 
 

—Slowking_man, the batcave

   
 
I adore pedophilia, Adolf Hitler, and piss on the corpse of Rob Levin.
 

 
 

—Slowking_man

   
 
<Slowking_Man> I have had dreams about editing Wikipedia, though, so take that as you may.
 

 
 

—Slowking_man showing off his prestigious life

Slowking_man is an admitted right-wing, authoritarian 13 year old boy who hangs out in the wikipedia IRC channel to get his powerfix. He is widely hated and a punching bag for trolls the world over. He has even managed to betray anonymous by letting his fellow wikipedos know about a call to wikipedia vandalism on /b/. He also flees from any corner of the Internet he hasn't been granted IRC ops when confronted with mere mention of ED.

So from this image to the right, what do you see? An interest in pokemon, power, unwarranted self-importance, etc. That pretty much sums this wannabe bureaucratic fuck, up. He is referred to by the Wikipedia Watch as an IRC Bouncer and has been known to ban anything he can't control. He is an ardent supporter of the cabal and publicly admits to indulging in abuses of power to fuel his sexual frustration. His personal information is freely available at the WINNERS at Wikipedia Watch (Archive). He lives in Moreno Valley, California where no one wants him and no one cares which leads him to spend more time on wikipedia being a complete asshat who knows nothing of the world outside of brown-nosing. He considers himself a TRUE INTERNET CRUSAUDER and will stop at nothing to save damsels in distress from the feared ENCYCLOPEDIA DRAMATICA. He considers himself an Internet jokster but he is too cool for school which is why he spends his time in the company of internet visionaries instead of outside whittling away his obesity.

Say hello to Slowking_man!

Admitting the obvious.

[18:20] * vpetselsd send sleek Anyways, i love the relation of Wikipedia to paedophiles on [WP:PEDO], and i know you're all scat 
lovers, and yes wikipedia admins and users are paedophiles
[18:20] <Slowking_Man> I'm aware of that.

Slowking man shows his mastery of all things IRC.

<Slowking_Man> DCC SEND exploit = kline
<-- Slowking_Man has quit (Killed by Rez (This connection has violated network policy.))
<-- WikiTeke has quit (Read error: 104 (Connection reset by peer))
<-- CXI has quit (Read error: 104 (Connection reset by peer))
<-- CakeProphet has quit (Read error: 104 (Connection reset by peer))
<-- Poore5 has quit (Read error: 104 (Connection reset by peer))

Here he is falsifying information about the real truth of jews did WTC. He is such a funny and original Internet guy he should be more proud stealing peoples jokes to appear edgy and subzero supercool. Lanky social retard or ZOG conspirator, you decide.

<Slowking_Man> Linuxbeak did WTC
<Naconkantari> omg not linxubeak!
<Dragonfly6-7> don't be ridiculous.
<Dragonfly6-7> Linuxbeak attacked the Pentagon.
<bastique|busy> Linuxbeak did Oklahoma City
<Nilfanion> Linuxbeak did the Reichstag?

Slowking_man routinely steals jokes from organizations tasked with the job of hating him, failing to see the tragedy. He is going to troll the Internet trolls using his razor sharp wit and tightly knit Internet clique to show the trolls whose really boss, THEM THAT'S WHO. He shows, through grace and understanding, that by incessantly telling everyone how much you don't care you are totally better than someone who spent five minutes calling him a faggot.

Various gallery items showing his devotion and attention to detail. (Check it out quickly, Mr. King left Wikipedia in 2008 and gave no forwarding address.)

Afterdeath

Afterdeath being a kooky krazy kid!!!!!!

Afterdeath is a disgraced IRC Bouncer in the #wikipedia channel on Freenode. Btw, what the fuck is up with that kid's parents? I mean, sure, we post goatse and other shock images on here, hell, we even watch guro for fun, but srsly, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT.

His coding skills, or lack thereof, are vulnerable to absolute ruin, as well. He tried to write a bot to keep ED users out of TOW, but this bot is easily flooded off via a CTCP flood. He disappeared a long time ago anyway. Meh.

Afterdeath on ED IRC

[14:50] <AfterDeath> HAI2ME
[14:50] <Ket> harro!
[14:50] <AfterDeath> at least you find me amusing.
[14:51] <Ket> well
[14:51] <Ket> somewhat
[15:12] <AfterDeath> heh

(K37 gets kickbanned for no apparent reason...)

[15:14] <K37> the fuck was that?
[15:15] <AfterDeath> you said you were logging etc
[15:15] <K37> d00d
[15:15] <K37> we joke about it all the time in #ed
[15:16] <AfterDeath> rite.
[15:16] <AfterDeath> and you're involved with ed
[15:16] [CTCP] Received Version request from AfterDeath.
[15:16] [CTCP] Received unknown CTCP-USERINFO request from AfterDeath
[15:17] <K37> So being involved with ED is grounds for a kickban?
[15:17] <AfterDeath> My judgement is grounds for a kickban.
[15:17] <AfterDeath> kthxbye
[15:17] <K37> fine
[15:17] <K37> ass
[15:17] <AfterDeath> mule.
[15:18] <K37> shows what type of bullshit show you d00ds run, eh?
[15:19] <AfterDeath> lol skippy
[15:19] <AfterDeath> do you skip alot?

(A few moments later...)

[15:19] <AfterDeath> yeah.
[15:19] <AfterDeath> you got kickbanned for being associated with ed

Also vulnerable to pwnage:

<AfterDeath_> heh
* AfterDeath_ is now known as AfterDeath
* AfterDeath has quit IRC (NickServ (GHOST command used by Monorailcat)�
* AfterDeath has joined #ed
* AfterDeath has quit IRC (NickServ (GHOST command used by Monorailcat)�)
* AfterDeath has joined #ed
<Ket> LOOOOOOOL
* AfterDeath has quit IRC (NickServ (GHOST command used by Monorailcat)�)
* AfterDeath has joined #ed
* AfterDeath has quit IRC (NickServ (GHOST command used by Monorailcat)�)
<Ket> LOLOLOL
<felonius> ROFL
* AfterDeath has joined #ed
* AfterDeath has quit IRC (NickServ (GHOST command used by Monorailcat)�)
* AfterDeath has joined #ed
* AfterDeath has quit IRC (NickServ (GHOST command used by Monorailcat)�)
<Ket> lmao!
<Ket> hmm
* AfterDea1h has joined #ed
<Monorailcat> Finger musta slipped

Note about pics

Afterdeath is why people with Down Syndrome should be forcibly sterilized like they used to do in the 1950s.

See also

Shadow42

Shadow42 is a wannabe IRC Bouncer, just like his fellows above, who wants to kill all of the Jews. All the jews. He would like to have you believe that he knows about l33t computer HXCING but in reality he's a skiddie who leeches off the achievements of others. He mindlessly spouts off facts about his totally sweet radical computer system in the hopes that someone will feed him any sort of attention. He refers to machines in a sexual manner because his mere presence drives most people away. Keeping with this sentiment he tends to use "fsck" as an unclever substitute of the superior word fuck in hopes that he will not anger Jimbo!!!! Which is extra funny, because he's never actually done anything on Wikipedia....

Recently discovered (made) his article, so please help him in his wishes to expand it.

 <Shadow42> Hey, I've got my own article on Encyclopedia Dramatica!
 <Shadow42> Sweet!

Not even other faggots like this kid.

* JapaneseModem is watching the matrix
* Shadow42 OWNS the matrix
* Lr5 is playing RuneScape
* TonySt has a life

WHAT A HILARIOUS KOOKSTER.

<ShakespeareFan00> What's the next big milestone?
<Werdna> sex in space :D
<shadow42> Hahahaha
<ShakespeareFan00> (In terms of Wikipedia milestones !)
<shadow42> I'll bet it'll be done before 2030
<shadow42> Wikipedian sex in space
<ShakespeareFan00> Shadow42: Define 'space'
<shadow42> Outer space, what else?
<shadow42> Mainspace?
<shadow42> "Oh yeah, edit me all night long..."
<Werdna> shadow42, projectspace

Resignation for christ

[16:55] <Shadow42> Course he is
[16:56] <Shadow42> I've officially resigned from #wikipedia and #freenode-social
[16:56] <Shadow42> Bunch of idiots
[16:57] * Shadow42 nods
[16:57] <Shadow42> heh
[16:57] <Shadow42> It gets boring

Snowolf

Snowolf, aka "QueenOfFrance" (not kidding), aka powerword Maurizio Lussetti, is a little shit from Trieste, Italy. He used to "squat" domain names until Prada sued him for trying to steal prada.eu. Then in 2007 he discovered Wikipedia, and now he's one of Jimbo's most powerful Aspies. As of 2014 he's a "WMF Steward", meaning he is among the "most trusted" members of the "community". Where he does very little....other than attack and ban people.

Since all the other little bastards mentioned above have given up on watching Wikipedia's precious IRC channels, Maurizio does it with great relish. Log into Freenode, go into any WP-related channel, and start criticizing it or anyone associated with it. Snowolf will jump on you and ban your IP address with his cock in your mouf. Such a goooood boy! Have a cigar! He's logged into Freenode constantly, and has scores of channels to watch, so he's probably getting very sleepy by now.

See Also

Wikipedia IRC Bouncers is part of a series on

Trolls

Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage.

Wikipedia IRC Bouncers is part of a series on

Wikipedia

Visit the Wikipedia Portal for complete coverage.

Wikipedia IRC Bouncers

is part of a series on

IRC

Please visit the IRC PORTAL for more


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