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Sean Brackeen
This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
Not to be confused with: Lil B
Seanie B (Powerword: Sean Brackeen), also known as Aryeh David Zucker, is the owner of several *chans, including 789chan and the lord of the spergs. As a child molester, he's discovered the secret of eternal youth by constantly sucking the dicks of 12-year-old boys and sustaining himself solely on their semen and in turn he's given the perpetual physique of a fat 12-year-old boy. He owns the web hosting business (Which ironically can't stay online) which hosts 789chan, the success of which can be determined from his LinkedIn profile where he has made a breathtaking 17 connections. He listed himself as "Managing custom server systems for customers, DDoS mitigation, rollout and management of network monitoring systems, customer support, On-call for managed systems/DDoS incidents," which translates to I CAN INSTALL CLOUDFLARE LOL. This is probably why 789chan has an elite hacker board so that top secret DDoS mitigation research can be compiled and used to combat Latvian botnets. Unfortunately, the ruse hasn't been successful, so hopefully this business executive can start making sweet loot after posting more pictures of pokemon from a children's show on his Google+ page.
In the meantime, SeanieB has little to no money whatsoever in which to pay his datacenter's fees. Luckily, he lives in Escondido, California with his mother, Maggie where he can sit on his ass all day playing Internet hero in his own private wonderland. This is where he collects precious donations from troll shielding furries. Wouldn't be much of a circlejerk without a circle, would it?. Many monuments have been created in honor of Sean's success, most notably YTMND, where he has been depicted as taking a trip down HOLIDAY ROAD all the way to Mexico with all his fat cash. Living with your mother and running a hole in the wall ISP sure is exciting.
Sean also has a bad habit of collecting the trash of the Internet, which he relies on for e-power. When he wants something done, like working a computer, he merely switches his tactics to whiteknighting the target of his needs. This has resulted in him protecting pedophiles, fat chanwhores, and autistic weeaboos. He relies on this rag tag group of socially maladjusted fucktards to keep his ego appropriately inflated, because hey, at least he can feel good about associating with failures.
Seanie <3 IHM
Seanie during his time over at Legi0n became very close with one beloved Brittany Holechko aka InternetHateMachine. Over the course of several complete ruinings at the hands of various trolls IHM and Seanie grew apart. IHM then started her own chan leading to her complete implosion after it was hi-jacked and all her users called her a fat bitch. Sean used the domain to taunt Brittany to which she responded to with DDOS. Sean being, at the time, unable to install CloudFlare found his own chan knocked about the webs. How you manage to lose to the person you just humiliated in front of the Internet is beyond most explanations but Sean certainly found a way. The two went back and forth before at long last one of Sean's very best friends, Entia, haxxored IHM.
But who was Entia? Entia was a weeaboo loli faggot who enjoyed Linux and pretending to be a 13 year old girl on IRC, named "tenshi". Entia was one of Sean's SONIC FRIENDS that he associated with due to their common obsession with sonic related matters. So what did he hax? Nothing. Sean is so fucking stupid that he believes anything anyone claims, but more on that later. Sean instead outright whiteknighted the future pedophile to be; because you're always supposed to protect your non hacking fat faggot of a weeaboo friend from the Sonic forums. However, with IHM being a fat tub of pig lard that cries out MY FRIZZLE FRRRRRRRRY all Sean had to was wait. Predictably, after failing to dox Sean off the planet and with 94chan still dead and fucked IHM cried for an hour and a half on skype after which she went into obscurity crying about ED articles and hamburgers.
—SeanB on his not relationship with IHM |
Some time later she popped back up and the two soon rekindled their friendship. Sean likes to think of her as an elite doxxing machine "Fig: so did IHM dox him yet?." His undeniable love for her is two(ld) fold. Firstly, Sean likes to think of himself better than the common rabble of Ickeriss69 despite serving him for most of the time when legi0n was active. Even though they have both been fooled by a colossal hambeast whoring for e-power the two believe each other to be very different; one started an Internet board and the other one copied it after it failed. Secondly, Sean enjoys the illusion of fakehomo and placates this by finding interest in fat fucking pigs who lust for cupcakes and Internet power. This potent distraction (I MEAN JUST LOOK AT HER, SHES SINGLE, BOYS) is enough to keep Sean holed up in his care kingdom away from the boards.
When Sean isn't busy hugboxing himself to retard pieces at 789chan he can be found on the SONIC STUFF RESEARCH GROUP or the Sonic Clanz Deviantart page where he hangs out with his furry friends talking about a video game released back in 1991. He used to hang out with his good pal Entia until he decided that helping a grown man fool people into thinking he was a girl wasnt worth his time. Entia was chased off and disabled his account. SeanieB still maintains his accounts. Proud of his work fearlessly researching the idol of millions of autism sufferers everywhere and ties to furries.
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Going down to Holiday Road
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Sean cares a lot about the Sonic community, 'a lot
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Sonic Forum Admin is about the coolest thing I can think of.
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Go out Seanichu, go out and Admin to the extreme!
See Also
Sean Brackeen is part of a series on
Lulcow Board
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Sean Brackeen is part of a series on Visit the Chans Portal for complete coverage. |