Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

Rupert Murdoch

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
(Redirected from Murdoch)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
File:Wendi deng - rupert murdoch cucked by negro beast.jpg
The story you won't find in Murdoch's newspapers (because it's true)

Keith Rupert Murdoch owns a shitload of old media, from the The Times and the Wall Street Journal to Faux News and the Star Channel. A few years back, he decided to own a shitload of the Internet, too. Keith bought most of what he owns at auctions held by the Illuminati, when he wasn't torturing babies and climbed over the corpses of his people to reach the top. A foresighted fellow, he spotted MySpaz at one auction and bought it from Tom for $780 million. With his trademarked reverse Midas effect, Rupert turns everything he touches into crap. His traditional nickname in Britain is the dirty digger.

Other Jews control what's left of the old media and are rushing to grab what's left of the Internet.

Conceived in a private school in southern Australia after his partly Irish-descended old man popped his load into his Jewish mum, Keith is coy about the timing and her background. Some argue this happened in the 1890s, evidence being the wrinkles on the trainwreck he calls a face and his corpse-like stench. The name "Murdoch" can be roughly translated as "Information Rapist."

Personal Life

Keith is an elusive fellow, he surfaces on rare occasions to buy children for slave labour in his private upper-class retreat and to buy more means of controlling how the world thinks. He's been married over 9000 times to various women and children through his long life. The latest was a Chink woman well over thirty years his junior called Wendy Dung, so now it's Wendy Dung Murdoch. Controlling how people in China think is Rupert's next most important current project to controlling how people think on the Internet. He often uses information gathered on MySpace by advertising agencies to create new music projects to further dumb down the population at large, and make them even easier to sell things to while they attend church.

Many people think he epitomizes the biggest problems of the society in which we live, but he really just loves people, and believes in democracy and freedom. He only buys all that stuff to subvert dominant paradigms. Really, it's all true!

LOL cuckold

Sex machine Tory B. Liar wipes Deng-drool off his crab-ladder

Many people asked exactly what Wendi Deng saw in a 100-year-old, droopy-faced, bald, impotent Australian billionaire. As it turned out, the answer was "not as much as she saw in a snaggle-toothed messianic Britfag unindicted war criminal." Their forbidden passion first bubbled to the surface in a chinky-chonky "Me rove you rong time" epistle in which the heathen Chinee yearned:

   
 
Oh, shit, oh, shit. Whatever why I’m so so missing Tony. Because he is so so charming and his clothes are so good.

He has such good body and he has really really good legs Butt… And he is slim tall and good skin. Pierce blue eyes which I love. Love his eyes. Also I love his power on the stage… and what else and what else and what else…
 


 
 

Dairy Tereglaph, February 2014

Speaking through his orifice, Mr Blair issued robust denials of claims that he and Mrs Murdoch had been seen putting food in each other's mouths during a tete-a-tete dinner at Murdoch's 14-storey billion-acre ranch, before sneaking off into the old man's bedroom for sex on his own platinum-plated Olympic-sized four-poster bed with mirrored canopy, while Murdoch himself mumbled drunkenly at his 52-foot plasma television in another room, throwing beer cans that he was too feeble to crush at the BBC news channel, wetting himself and occasionally saying: "Pill lady? Pill lady" to imaginary bystanders.

Tony Blair has reportedly flipped his wig about the whole thing when being interviewed and said he will never comment on the allegations, but he's such a fucking bullshitter that he then immediately commented on them by denying them.

But who on earth could have foreseen the treachery that lurked in the little yellow heart of the seemingly-loving Wendy? Certainly not Jake Cherry, who she lured away from his wife into a sham marriage in order to get her Green Card, before fucking off with a guy "closer to her age" called David Wolf.

The final turd on Murdoch's bitter cake is that all this was happening right in front of him, all the time, from day one, while his sinister world-spanning news machine busily hacked, burgled and blagged its way into the private secrets of just about everyone of note in the western world.

Still, there's no fool like an old fool, eh, Keith?

Wife #23: Jerry Hall

File:Rupert murdoch topless with jerry hall.jpg
Apparently, Murdoch hates this photograph

Moar info: necrophilia.

Rupert's rag's regrets

Moar info: Fake News.

Never one to disappoint his paymasters in the CIA and the Republican Party, Keith used his propaganda press (AKA "The Sun") to churn out a never-ending stream of bullshit in the run-up to the 2003 invasion of Iraq. Once the invasion was under way, the hype about Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMDs) was quietly brushed under the luxurious carpet in Keith's office, and gradually replaced with the real reason that Blair and Bush had invaded -- getting rid of Saddam.

When Saddam got dangled, the Sun trumpeted it as though it had been the plan all along. Then there was a gap of around a decade, during which the Sun never mentioned WMDs again. Finally in 2016 the Iraq War Inquiry busted Blair's poxy ass and Keith picked up the phone and got his revenge.


One of Keith's more tasteful stunts on Blair's behalf was to run a cut-out-and-keep souvenir dartboard, on which readers could score points for hitting the faces of anti-war politicians. Subtle, huh? However, if you try and search for that page, it appears that cowardly Keith has tried to cover his tracks, because although it showed up in search results for a few days after the Iraq report was issued in June 2016, the page has been deleted.

However, the copy that accompanied the fear-mongering freebie is preserved in various specialist databases and in the British library, so it is still possible to read the patriotic outpourings of Britain's greatest newspaper on the subject of principled opposition in time of war.

Use scrollbar to see the full image


To recap: Keith Rupert Murdoch openly produced bellicose propaganda for a neo-con war of aggression, changed the storyline to suit his paymasters when things went a bit wrong, claimed he'd been "duped" when the truth came out, threw his former crony under the bus and then tried to falsify his own role in the entire business.

Ronald Raygun and the CIA

Reagan's secret weapon
Bedtime for Bonzo

But wait. How did a Bogan like Keith end up swallowing nearly half of the US media? As it happens, there's a story of infidelity attached to this, too.

Starting in the early 1980s the Reagan administration schmoozed Keith Murdoch into running CIA propaganda in what was called a “perception management” operation, which was designed to brainwash the US public.

Several declassified documents indicate that he was considered a source of financial (and "other") support for Reagan’s hard-line Central American policies, including the seekrit CIA war in Nicaragua. Murdoch was brought into the operation in 1983 when he was still an Australian citizen and his evil empire was far smaller than it is today.

The first meeting between Murdoch and Reagan was on January 18, 1983, when the administration was lining up private financing for its propaganda. (This came just five days after Reagan was informed by lawyers of the need for private cash to advance the hush-hush project).

Murdoch became a naturalized citizen of the United States in 1985 specifically in order to meet a regulatory requirement that U.S. TV stations must be owned by Americans.

The very same year, purely by coincidence the Reagan administration undertook a number of steps favourable to Murdoch’s interests, including increasing the number of TV stations that any single entity could own from seven to 12.

In 1983, Murdoch’s rising media empire was still based in Australia with only a few U.S. properties, such as the Star tabloid and the New York Post. But in 1984, he bought a stake in 20th Century Fox and six TV stations. These formed the nucleus of Fox Broadcasting Company (founded October 9, 1986).

In 1987, Reagan abolished "the Fairness Doctrine,” which demanded broadcasting must be politically balanced, which enabled Murdoch to pioneer a more aggressive conservatism on his TV network. At "fair and balanced" Fox News, coincidentally, Murdoch has hired scores of prominent Republicans and put them on his payroll as commentators.

"Rupert" v the Royals

As a dedicated CIA Agent, Keith plots on behalf of the American government to depose Britain's Monarchy and ultimately gain control of Britain itself in revenge for the events of 1776. Then America, Britain, and Keith's home nation itself will become members of a Global Union of English-Speaking States ruled from the new Imperial capital, Washington DC, and Russia will finally have to STFU or face the undesirable consequences.

Keith aims to fulfil this long-term plan by cruelly reducing the Royal Family to B-list celebrity status until no-one on the planet takes them seriously and even Britain eventually tells them to sling their Most Royal Hooks.

Sadly, what Keith fails to understand, because he is an uncultured ignorant redneck is that the Royal Family exists in a dimension beyond being taken seriously or mocked. The whole institution of Royalty is a masterpiece of surrealism, which is why its effect on people is often described in terms of "Magic".

Also, Keith is incredibly jellyous of the Monarchy because although he is about 100 times richer than the Queen all he has to show for it is a few crappy newspapers that are regarded as fucking jokes even by the people who buy them (and Faux News -- need we say more?), whereas the Queen (God Bless Her) is next in line to God and has The Ultimate Royal Power at Her disposal with no risk of any personal consequences. Her Majesty does not use this power lightly, Keith, but you're on very thin ice already. Don't say you weren't warned.

For example, look at the Murdoch paper front page story illustrated to the right. Yeah, like so this is such a good joke right, cos Harry’s girlfriend is called Chelsy and they went to a party in Chelsea, and so the Sun said “Harry’s back in Chelsea” like we’re meant to think that he’s back in Chelsy, like he’s got his throbbing, ginger, uncut, royal baby's arm in her vagoo or something. Brilliant!


Gallery of Keith's fail at troll About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Murdoch Cash

Hey Proletarians,

My name is Rupert, and I'm controlling every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who will vote for whatever political party I tell you to. You are everything exploitable in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever thought for yourself? I mean, I guess it's fun going with the masses and not thinking critically about what you read or watch, but you all take this to a whole new level. This is even worse than liberal leftists writing in The Guardian.

Don't try to oppose me. Just sit back and relax with a copy of The Sun or watch Fox News. I'm pretty much perfect. I am the CEO of News Corporation, and have more money than most governments. What influence do you have, other than "spreading the word about trying to find Madeleine McCann"? I also get to live a life of luxury, and have a banging hot azn trophy wife (she just blew me; she love me long time, many time). You are all unthinking masses who should just continue taking in my cum so that I get more money. Thanks for listening.

Related pic.: It's me and my latest wife.

Rupert's Internet Empire

Media ownership
Media ownership
Virgin doesn't have enough Jew gold to pay for Rupert's channels.

On the Interwebs, Jewpert owns all of these sites.

As Fox Interactive Media:
AmericanIdol.com AskMen.com Drownedinsound.com Fox.com (for Fox Broadcasting)
Foxsports.com GameSpy Hulu IGN
kSolo MyNetworkTV MySpace NewRoo
Photobucket Rotten Tomatoes Scout.com SpringWidgets
Strategic Data Corp. WhatIfSports.com
Others
Beliefnet News Digital Media Slingshot Labs

"News" of the World phreaking scandal

File:Murdoch sun hacking danger tweet.png

In the United States, Murdoch is known for establishing the Republican Propaganda Hate Machine. But that's nothing compared to the lulz he causes in Australia and especially the UK.

Since 2005, Murdoch has been hiring hackers to break into cell phones of royal dignitaries, politicians, celebrities, and even 16 year old girls...especially the missing/dead kind. He would then use the ill-gotten information to send the paparazzi to break into private residences, alter records in the interest of creating gossip, even going as fair as listening to voicemail messages left on a dead girl's cellphone then deleting messages on the phone so that more messages could be left on her voice mail especially by her parents who still believed she was alive because "she" was clearing out messages.

There was a trial in 2008 involving the phreaking, but the trial was against Murdoch's hired help who became the patsies for Murdoch's illicit source of news for the tabloid News of the World.

Scotland Yard is opening up the case again and this time going after Major Blood himself.

See Also

External Links

Rupert Murdoch
is part of a series on
Ausfailia
[CollapseExpand]
Just another British fucking colony...

People

AboriginalsAdolf HitlerAlanaJonzeAndrew QuahAnnalise WallikerAntonAshley TownsAush0kAustral-AznBill SpiderMichaelDragon800Blissyu2Blunty3000BogansBoochanBooster4444Brenton TarrantCarly RyanCatherine DevenyCbeeCharmaine DragunChin-chanClare WerbeloffCocaine BabeCorey WorthingtonDariusHunterDarkfalzDarkspeedsDavid ThorneDegenDennis FergusonEinsidlerEmmalinaFilthy FrankGarry Francis NewmanGas Mask GirlGeoffrey LeonardGina RinehartGraykatHeath LedgerIain HallJake BilardiJames PackerJarrad WillisJasonafexJodie Gater and Stephanie GestierJoel "Inciter" IvoryJosef FritzlLikeicareTypo-ChanLeah CostaLiz ShawLoveinavoidMartin BryantMatt CrimminsMel GibsonMickyy MooMyNameIsLennyNeighboursRianaRolf HarrisRove McManusRupert MurdochShareeSnapesnoggerSophie DelezioSteve Hodder-WattSteve IrwinSummoner YunaSuper Planet DolanSuzi OlsenTarisai VusheTechaTeenage Kings of WerribeeThedreadedkettleTheHill88Tim WardTom WoodTrap-kunTrinity BatesYiriCommunityChannelStylidiumlane


Places

AdelaideBrisbaneCanberra
Great Western Highway
MelbourneMill Park Tree
New ZealandPerthPort ArthurSydneyTasmaniaToowoomba

Politics

Australian Internet FilterAustralian Federal PoliceAustralian Media ED InterviewPaula BensonBook of CADNOCATThe ChaserJulia GillardPauline HansonJohn HowardThe Kate PartyLiberal Party of AustraliaOperation TitstormProject FreewebKevin RuddNational AnthemSorry DayDianne ThorleyNick XenophonTony Abbott

Rupert Murdoch
is part of a series on
Jews
Patriarchs [-+]

Adam KatzAdam L. GoldsteinAl FrankenAlan MooreAlbert EinsteinAlex HirschAlicia VikanderAliza ShvartsAmy PascalAmy SchumerAndrew BreitbartAndy KaufmanAngelina JolieAnita SarkeesianAriana GrandeAyn RandBaruch GoldsteinBeastie BoysBen GarrisonBen ShapiroBen SteinBernie GoetzBernie MadoffBernie SandersBobby KotickBourg ProductionsBrie LarsonCasey NeistatChelsea ClintonChris SavinoChuck SchumerDan HarmonDan SchneiderDaniel BenfieldDanny ElfmanDaron NefcyDavid DraimanDavid KatzDebbie SchlusselDianne FeinsteinDonald DrumpfDoomentioDylan KleboldEd RendellEinsidlerEli KozinElliot RodgerElon MuskEmiNetEric AbramovEthan KleinFrank MillerGeorge SorosGirlvinylGreville JannerHarvey WeinsteinHenry KissingerHenry MakowHoward SternIce PoseidonJacob StellmachJared KnabenbauerJarlaxleArtemisJeff GoldblumJeffrey EpsteinJennifer LawrenceJerry SeinfeldJerry SpringerJesusJewWarioJim SterlingJoe LiebermanJohn KricfalusiJohn OliverJon StewartJonathan YanivJoshua Conner MoonJussie SmollettJustin RoilandKevin SmithKumichooKurt EichenwaldLaaiti EkenstéenLauren FaustLena DunhamLinda MackLyor CohenMandoPonyMark ZuckerbergMatt StoneMaury PovichMia JaninMichael BloombergsavetheinternetMichael RichardsMichael SavageMila KunisMiriam LazewatskyMonica LewinskyMonica RialMosesMoshe FinkbergMundaneMattNatalie PortmanNeil GaimanNihilistic SnakePamela GellerPewDiePiePACKGODQuinton ReviewsRachael MacFarlaneRahm EmanuelR@ygoldRebecca SugarRoman PolanskiRon JeremyRupert MurdochSacha Baron CohenSam HydeSeth MacFarlaneSeth RogenSusan WojcickiTara StrongThe Amazing RacistThe Fine BrosThe Krassenstein BrothersTim BurtonTodd GoldmanTodd HowardTony GoldmarkTrevor NoahWeevWil WheatonWoody AllenYandereDevYank Barry

Habitats [-+]
Traditions [-+]
H8s [-+]