North Macedonia

• Flags of North Macedonia
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  The former Fyromian flag...
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  ...The true Macedonian flag...
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  ...The Fyromian flag after Fyromia pussied out.

North Macedonia is the agreed-upon designation for the territory occupied by the progeny of proto-Bulgarian Slavic settlers known as Fyromians. Fyromians call themselves "Macedonians" by virtue of the magic dirt left behind by the ancient Greek-inhabited kingdom of Macedonia. Fyromians once argued with Greeks on who's entitled to the Macedonia brand name, and this conflict was what prevented Fyromia from joining the European Union and NATO for nearly three decades.

What is Macedonia(n)?

Geographical Macedonia

The meaning of "Macedonia" has changed constantly over time, so no one agrees on where Macedonia is. Geographical Macedonia is divided into three regions:

• Vardar Macedonia (North Macedonia)
• Pirin Macedonia (a part of Bulgaria)
• Aegean Macedonia (a part of Greece)

Fyromians claim to be Macedonians simply because they squat in Vardar Macedonia. Greeks hate when Fyromian called themselves Macedonian since they're afraid of Fyromia annexing Aegean Macedonia and becoming real Macedonia and the Greeks are too poor and retarded to figure out how to stop that.

Fyromians also claim to be the descendants of Alexander the Great, but this is certifiable bullshit. Alexander the Great was Aegean Macedonian, and the Fyromian ethic group didn't exist back then. If any Fyromian is somehow a descendant of Alexander, then it's because Alexander raped some poor Slav girl that wandered too far away from mother Russia. This is still dubious, however, because Alexander didn't even fuck females until he invaded Persia and banged their princess for the lulz.

History

Fyromia doesn't have any ancient history, since Alexander's Macedonia doesn't have any connection to false, Fyromian Macedonia. Fyromian history begun when the Bulgarians and Serbians invaded Byzantine lands, including Macedonia, and claimed them as their own. After ousting the Turks from the Balkans, Serbia, Bulgaria, and Greece disagreed on who owned Macedonia and went to war. Fyromia was conquered by the Serbs, and it became a part of Yugoslavia. Later, Joseph Tito turned Fyromia from a part of Serbia into constitute republic of Yugoslavia. Tito named this republic "Macedonia" in order to troll Greece and to prevent a Serbian dominance in Yugoslavia (Serbs believed at that time that Macedonia was just a Southern Provence of Serbia) and territorial claims of Bulgaria because infact the so-called Macedonians are just Bulgarians.

After the breakup of Yugoslavia, Greece was pissed, since Fyromia was still calling itself Macedonia and it was using a knockoff of the Greek Macedonian flag, so Greece blocked all trade to Fyromia. Greece intimidated Fyromia into changing its flag, and the trade ban was lifted.

More recently, owing to Greece's communist IMF-bitch prime minister Tsipras being a pussy, Fyromia has been given permission to name itself "North Macedonia" which predictably enough resulted in Greeks demolishing their capital for the Nth time in a bout of impotent rage. Lulzilly enough, the Fyromians rioted as well since they were now "merely" northern Macedonians instead of the one true descendants of Alexander the Great. With the name finally settled, Northern Fyromia can finally begin talks with the EU in a bit to become it's slave, a win-win if there ever was one!

Albanian shitz

In 1999, rebellious Albanian after having lots of buttsex with the 'mericunts formed the National Liberation Army in order to give Albanians in Fyromia greater rights and bigger mosques. In 2001, these Albanians rose up and started attacking Fyromians. The hostilities ended with the UN saving their asses from Arachinovo and the Ohrid Agreement, but the Albanians basically succeeded in giving what they wanted. Albanian became one of Fyromia's official languages and making Albanians equals in the government. Although the matter is considered resolved, conflicts arise every now and then.

Fyromia and the Internet

Quoted from Wikipedia:

Well my Bulgarian FRIEND i really can't understand how you the son of SLAVS who came in Balkans in 7-th century our decade call yourselve ETNIC MACEDONIAN! The only etnic macedonians are the so-called VLACHS or Elino-Vlachs or macedo-romanians. In greece up to 2 milions and in Balkans up to 3 milions. So the FYROMIAN AND GREEK propaganda will soon disapear. Look at this Grammar Book and then ask your self where was your Slavo-macedonian name in 1813. Bye bye !

Quoted from Urban Dictionary:

My name is Goran and my mother tounge is Slavomacedonian, we are Slavomacedonians who are descended from the Slavic invasions of Northern Greece in 700 AD, and we have nothing to do with the Hellenistic king of Phiilip and his son Alexander who were from the Greek kingdom of Macedonia, we came 1000 years after Alexander the great and his conquests which spread Greek culture throughout the known world.

Angry Fyromians

Quoted from Wikipedia:

you really classify yourself as a Macedonian you wish!! Alexander the great spoke Macedonian not greek he burnt greek cities to the ground you are a dirty ass greek scientists did and ethnicity test on ancient Macedonians and greeks and found out that they are 2 different nations and guess what the greeks are closely related to the Ethiopians the modern Macedonians shared many chromosomes to the ancient Macedonians you just go fuck yourself you dirty ass whore

Gallery

Република Македонија About missing Pics

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  Macedonians ain't Greeks
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  Macedonian police got swag
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  This is what Albanian terrorists do to Macedonians
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  Them Albo-terror-shits sure iz ugly as fuck
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  Failed KLA coup d'etat attempt aftermath (them mussies target civilians when they be tryin' to overthrow the "oppressive" Macedonian government)
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  Albanian terrorists gon' suck gypsy cocks for their war crimes for the rest of their pathetic lives XD

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