Commonwealth

The Commonwealth's official flag

The Commonwealth is the modern form of The Jewnited Kingdom. This organization is made up of countries which used to be colonies of Britain and currently still chose to celebrate about being Britain's bitch at sometime in their history mainly because their citizens are halfbreeds. The Queen of England is the head of the commonwealth but nobody cares about her opinion anymore, apart from her half-wog husband Prince Phillip^卐, who continues to successfully troll coloured people within the Commonwealth to this day.

Membership

While being part of the Commonwealth used to mean a lot, like having the British Royal Navy patrol your country's waters, it no longer means anything much at all, ever since the American navy started to take over Canadian and Pakistani waters. It now serves to ensure that each country writes in proper Queen's English, call soccer "football", call football "rugby", play cricket during summer, consider boring opinions of white old cunts in the Senate or the House of Lords as 'good law', and Westminster-style Parliamentary democracy, except for Pakistan which wants a presidential system. The royal family doesn't have any influence over any of the counties in the commonwealth due to them being a bunch of retarded inbreds, except for Canada which the Queen has to call a time-out, when Prime Minister Trudeau has a temper tantrum, and prologue the Canadian parliament before her majesty's loyal opposition leader Dion, the sissy brother of Celine Dion, cries.

The only reason anyone would leave the commonwealth would be so they can stop playing cricket or field hockey as a national sport and start hunting wild Tigers like Sri Lanka. Whether the Head of State is some old Brithag that lives in London or some old faggot in their own country makes no difference in anything and changing the name of your country really isn't worth the paperwork at the United Nations. The other not-really-a-reason "reason" to leave the Commonwealth is if your country has the retarded mindset of a 16 year old girl screaming at her parents "YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME! I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT" or think that the game of cricket is well..'gay'. This is basically the reason why Fiji is suspended/grounded from the commonwealth. Breaking international laws is a bad thing and might get you in trouble. The Commonwealth does it all the time for the lulz, so you might get off free too. No biggie.

The Commonwealth Games

This sporting event is much like the Olympics except only for members of the Commonwealth. It is very likely the only reason Australia doesn't become a state of the United States of America. It's not really a competition, it's more like an hilarious comedy routine where Australia dances around giving shitty third world countries wedgies and flushing their heads in toilets. You almost feel sorry for the other countries when Australia kicks their asses, but that's a lot like troll's remorse, it can be cured when you think of the pure lulz.

The Revolutionary War

The American war of independence was fought so they could escape it as England used to be a serious business fucking super power. Now, however, the USA is far more powerful than the UK much like a retarded child gone feral. England now licks the juicy, hairy asshole of the USA at every given opportunity officially giving the USA revenge and pwnage to the max.

"White" Commonwealth

How Australia sees it!

Also known as "Crown Commonwealth Realms" or "Britfags" to Commonwealth Republics and rest of the world, are Commonwealth countries that recognize the Emperor of Britannia as their Head of State. These countries include Canada, Australia and New Zealand that are typically run by fat white men who are oblivious to the fact that Britannia doesn't need their cannonfod..uh I mean soldiers, cheese, wine, and sheeple anymore since joining the Eurofag Union. (This claim is under review pending the execution of the shitshow known as Brexit, where Britfags trolled themselves by believing they had a snowball's chance in hell at reclaiming any long-dead glory or benefit by leaving the EU. Stand by for updates.) These people are bound by a common love for trash British soap operas such as "Colon-ation Street", "The Only Way is Arse-sex", and "London: East Siiide iz da Best". Since realizing it's silly to have a Head of State who lives in a different country not as crap as theirs, they appoint Crown representatives called "Gubnuh-Genitals" who are typically from minority groups such as Pakis or Negros and make them do public appearances twice a year: once to announce the date when the Queen schedules to perform her annual Royal flatulence and secondly to sign the Queen's chequebook to pay for the welfare benefits given to the Numbers..uh I mean Natives to STFU and smile about past grievances rightfully inflicted by Britannia.

See Also

• Pwnd
• United Kingdom