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Basement-dweller

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Basement dweller (identity concealed to prevent ugly).
A basement-dweller's reaction to the outside world.
A basement dweller in action.
Another basement dweller
Shocking developments
Broadcasting live from mommy's basement.

A commonly-used­­­­­ phrase that describes the socially inept: Atheists, love shys, losers, Fanboys, cosplayers, nerds, slashfic authors, gamers, weeaboos, libertarians, anarchists, SJWs, tumblr users, furfags, bronies, /b/tards, trekkies, WoW players, Homestuck readers, Ediots, Wikipedia editors, Tropers, Goons, you, and most of all trolls. In other words, peo­­­ple who know that the light of day will expose them for the freaks they are; Thus,they go on ED or they dwell in their parents' basement, fapping while being ever so POLITICALLY INCORRECT :coolface: on the internet and live off pocky and KFC.

Habitats

Note, however, that while most basement-dwellers do indeed live in a basement, this is not always the case. A basement-dweller needs only to live under the care of their parents long after he or she has the facu­­lties necessary to become a contributing member of society. This includes being a twenty-year-old unemployed college dropout whose mother pays your rent (however, some basement dwellers will go to college and get a degree, only to return to their parents' house and fap like there is no tomorrow [see "A Confederacy of Dunces"]). Some "basement dwellers" still live in their parent's normal house as they did when they grew up, particularly if the house doesn't have a basement as is often the case in Europe and Texas because texans don't believe in basements -- they are unholy. Others still live in their parent's bedroom.

Excluded from the title basement-dweller are people wh­o live with their parents for legitimate reasons. One must remember there i­­s a difference between "living with mommy", and "living off mommy". Some examples of this include:

Typical basement-dwellers are needlessly burdensome on their parents and/or government. Most of their time is taken up masturbating to furry porn and online sex games, going to nerdish conventions, eating chees­­­­­­e doodles, and playing D&D. In addition, as completists, they spend an inordinate amount of time on the Internets, using IRC, LiveJournal, partaking in Bandwidth_envy, and arguing vehemently over their particular branch of fandom. And yes, you will still be a basement-dweller, even after you've finished building yo­ur new "v0.1 2X Overdrive dual-ballast dual-T8-tube 128W 6,500k daylight fluorescent light." If you are an engineer or geologist, dig secret tunnel networks (or just a pressurized capsule network to transport M:tG cards) while making secret entrances to find D&D bong sessions and plastic crap.

How can I tell if an otherwise typical lolcow is a basement-dweller?

There's a drop ceiling in the­­ir hideous webcam stills, and there's no way that said ceiling is in their "office," as they will claim. Wood paneling is also a dead giveaway.

Don't be fooled by the presence of a microwave, as the suspect's mother's kitchen can be used to throw people off the scent, but concentrate on the distinctive pallor of the individual's complexion which reveals their subterranean habitat.

A prime example of basement-dwellers and/or weeaboo dicks:

THE Basement Dweller


Basement Dweller Contemplates Breasts


Basement Dweller Explains Term from Basement Dwellers' Point-of-view


Basement Dweller Enjoying Magic the Gathering


Previous Video | Next Video

Basement-Dwellers & Trolls


No - not internet wankers like 4Chan, but the mythical creatures from Scandinavia. Symptoms include:

  • Suffering from greasy skin and warts caused by a lack of washing and living off junk food brought dow­n by their moms every 30 minutes, because they are lite­rally unable to move from the front of their computers.
  • Poor eyesight caused by the endless glare of the computer screens or because they are asians.
  • Rotting teeth caused by grinding them while thinking about sex, or caused by their soda, sugar and refrigerated food diet.
  • Poor social life brought on by virtually no IRL interaction (mom bringing you down cookies - and some more boxes of tissues - doesn't count).
  • A serious weight problem - they are either grossly bloated or hideously skinny. The ones with neckbeards are funnier, particularly when coupled with moobs.
  • A rotten, diseased workspace swarmed with a massive collection of day-old used dishes, empty soda cans, and plastic crap, accumulated as a result of pure fucking laziness.

Of course the majority of basement-dwellers are actually trolls, and vice-versa.

Hikikomori

引きっこもり. Japanese basement-dweller. Only difference being most japanese live in apartments, which do not have a basement. Even Japanese houses don't have basements, apparently prohibited by law. "Parasite single" is a term for those who live off their parents. The Britfag term "NEET" is also used.

 
“ 		 
Hikikkomori ­­live a nocturnal life, in a deep depressive state, far from social responsibilities (sch­ool, work, family) and activities. Even sexuali­­ty is often virtually lived and connected to a sexy manga heroine.
  		„
 

—Francesco Jodice, describing the subject of his film

Interestingly enough, Hikikomori seem to feel that they've got it worse than their western counterp­arts. A Japanese basement-dweller will often explain that Japanese culture is so simultaneously repressive and demandin­g tha­t they've never properly adap­ted t­­o­ it, causing them to wet themselves if they venture out into the public[1]. Unlike their western­ counterparts, it is estimated that more than ha­­­lf of all­ Hikikkomori abuse/ beat their parents, which makes them far more cooler while remaining anti-social losers. Male Hikikkomori may also e­xplain that they feel they lack social role models because their fathers are entirely pussy-whipped. The large percentage of western basement-dwellers who have to import their Pocky and download their shota likely beg to differ. Hikikomori often go on 2ch, for which there is even a hikky board. It's against the rules on that board to tell the hikkys to go kill themselves. The cowardly hikkys who go on 2ch often whine and complain about their escapist culture being repressed, while establishing that they are no different from the other japs by blaming everything on the Koreans. Hikkys leech money off their parents to buy anime and manga paraphernalia so they can cum and drool all over it. You'd think that if they hated Japanese mainstream society so much they would band together in protest IRL (because no Jap can defy the urge to conform to a large group of people) or even use some of that money to buy a megaphone and shout out the window. (they wouldn't even have to leave their rooms) Instead, they go on 2ch and BAWWW about it like little babies.

Rozen Maiden has a Hikikomori as a main character. Much like Neon Genesis Evangelion before it, having a loser protagonist they could identify with meant that American weeaboos latched onto the show like parasitic lamprey, only this time the "sexy manga heroines" and cartoon lust objects weren't overstacked expressionless doll-like girls, but ACTUAL DOLLS.

Max Brooks' World War Z features an hikikomori who becomes an famous hero after the Zombie Apocalypse, eh slicing off zombie heads and not afraiding anyone with the help of an old, blind, gardener. The idea that an hikikomori could ever do anything useful for anyone is the least believable element of the previous sentence.

For a lighthearted and accurate look at the life of a Hikikkokomori, see the delightful shareware game, Yume Nikki. In it, a young girl overcomes her deepest fears and becomes an hero to Hikikkomori and Weeaboo all over the world. There's also the anime "Welcome to the NHK" which is mostly noteworthy because it doesn't involve power levels and robots for once, the protagonist is a lunatic and, most importantly, unlike you he wants to change his life and not remain an inept loser by doing something.

Cellar-dweller

A cellar-dweller is not to be confused with a basement-dweller. Although a person can be both, they might also be one but not the other. Some people are neither, but this article is not about them.

A cellar-dweller might claim to live on the main floor of a house in that they occasionally sleep there, eat there or fetch food from the main floor. The cellar-dweller might even own the house. However, cellar-dwellers remain in their cellar or basement most of the time because they have chosen to abandon the outside world for the inside world of fantasy tabletop battlegames, similar online or computer games, or some other extremely time-consuming hobby like counterfeiting, manufacturing drugs or raping the shit out of your secret prisoner.

Cellar-dwellers all over the world rejoiced in 1998 when death punk band Antiworld wrote a song just for them, entitled 'Cellar Dweller.'

Music

The Basement Dwellers Anthem


It is well known that #1 music for basement dwellers is by far black metal, however they also listen to rock, pop, techno, rave, rap, video game music and sometimes emo.

Gallery


  • Alternate basement setup
    Alternate basement setup
  • Typical basement-dweller looking at porn.
    Typical basement-dweller looking at porn.
  • A Dweller's worst fear: being discovered outside by the pod people!
    A Dweller's worst fear: being discovered outside by the pod people!
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
  • Basement dweller AND a pedophile!
    Basement dweller AND a pedophile!
  • Some basement dwellers are in their late thirties.
    Some basement dwellers are in their late thirties.
  • Congratulations graduate! Now GTFO!
    Congratulations graduate! Now GTFO!
  • A weeaboo pedophile in his pathetic basement.
    A weeaboo pedophile in his pathetic basement.
  • Basement dwellers eat at Taco Bell.
    Basement dwellers eat at Taco Bell.
  • Wignedwolf, basement dwelling furry magickian.
    Wignedwolf, basement dwelling furry magickian.
  • Out of his habitat.
    Out of his habitat.
  • The side effects of not going out.
    The side effects of not going out.
  • Typical Russian zadrot.
    Typical Russian zadrot.
  • Sustenance of a basement dweller: EverQuest time cards.
    Sustenance of a basement dweller: EverQuest time cards.
  • Two fine specimens.
    Two fine specimens.
  • How azn basement dwellers spend their time.
    How azn basement dwellers spend their time.
  • Should you inadvertently discover such a setup in a friend's house, get them professional help immediately.
    Should you inadvertently discover such a setup in a friend's house, get them professional help immediately.
  • This is what happens when they leave their basement.
    This is what happens when they leave their basement.
  • Basement dweller on Failbook
    Basement dweller on Failbook
  • Note the dumpster furniture.
    Note the dumpster furniture.
  • Your typical basement dweller, note the blank soulless look in its eyes.
    Your typical basement dweller, note the blank soulless look in its eyes.

See Also

External links
Basement-dweller
is part of a series on

Life

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