- Portals
- The Current Year
- ED in the News
- Admins
- Help ED Rebuild
- Archive
- ED Bookmarklet
- Donate Bitcoin
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
Dolphy
Dolphy (Susanne Almanstoetter of Hamburg, Germany) is yet another crazy, cartoon loving, Disney fan based primarily on DeviantART and fanart.lionking.org. Now 26 years old Dolphy is still madly in love with Jim from Treasure Planet (aka That Disney Film That Tanked and No One Cares About). If she draws anything other than Jim and her sucking face you better believe it'll be a furry that she managed to con someone into paying her to do. A challenger has appeared: SelauraNetherfield.
Despite her unrequited love for cartoon boys around the age of fifteen, Dolphy is a loyal friend who will flame you to death if one of her internet buttbuddies is snarked by a group of jealous furfags (Fig.1). Birds of a feather flock together as is the case with Atimon, Dolphy's BFF and a rabid Timon fangirl who was snarked for her own disgusting Timon pr0n. As well as fellow Treasure Planet fan, 
Wolvy - another furfag German girl who used to have a crush on John Silver (for some reason) Warning!: Going to Wolvy's DA page will require a dose of eye bleach afterwards.
In the "artist's" own words:
From her own homepage;
—Dolphy | ||
Self Insert, Say WUT!?
Anyone who has had the misfortune of going through Dolphy's gallery will quickly realize she draws nothing but furries and herself - most of the time with a fifteen year old boy who she claims to have made older. She openly admits that the girl in these pics is her illustrated self insert. Any artist/author worth their salt knows that self-insert are a big no-no. Because if one person says they don't like the character that automatically means they don't like her. Honestly who would? It's already been discovered that she's a world class, stuck up, bitch. And that her love of a fictional character must not be called into question - but we'll get to that later.
Dolphy's self insert would not be nearly so god awful if she was an accurate self insert - what S.I. is? But it should be noted that her illustrated self looks nothing like her, something most of her ass kissing fans don't get. They only love that Dolphy has curves. What she and the fanherd don't get is that there is a difference between curves and fat. Real Dolphy is fat, drawn!Dolphy is "curvy." Compares these to her drawn self. You won't find any similarities.
-
With cliffs notes! Long story short she stopped stuffing her craw with lard and she lost a few pounds but is somehow still a fat lazy german pedo -
Dolphy lives in a fantasy world. Everyone knows fat chicks don't have a date to the prom
-
Just a quick observation that anyone not up her ass would notice. Where do tits come from? -
Man the harpoons and start pouring the eye bleach! I bet she can sly with those lunch lady arms but the hair under her arms would make too much wind resistance. -
Pale German girl does not equal cute cartoon. How do I make accurate self insert? -
"Our aim is becoming Snapesnogger nagas" -
Dolphy being herself -
Dolphy and Jimmy ohhhh ILU!!!! <3 -
double Dolphy -
ME WANTZ DA FOOOOD HO HO HO! -
fashion sense -
"sexy".... -
Got enough Disney shit?
Fantasies of a 26 year old woman
Note: These were made in 2007 - 2008 when she was 23 (and should've known better than to put them anywhere on the internet)
-
There's no physical way he's in her cunt -
Ditto -
What's wrong with her boobs???Nothing, Jim enjoys wall-eyed titties. -
X'U
-
BUTTSECKS!? -
XU -
All that's missing is the bag over her head. -
Jim's dick would have to be twenty feet long in order for them to be having sex at all. -
-
XU -
I think this is how lions reproduce. -
-
Jim loves grinding his axe in her bush -
XU -
Cock goes where? -
He's suffocating under all that blubber. -
Anatomy is just...perfect -
Where's a paper bag when you need it, eh? -
Jim loves fatties, saggy tits and girls without pubes, apparently. -
HERS. -
JIM'S PENIS IS SACRED ONLY DOLPHY CAN SEE IT -
Pedo's dream -
She can't draw male genitalia cuz she's never seen it IRL -
DO NOT WANT -
Breasticles -
Porkin' it. -
Still do not want -
Jim says: "If you love me, get lypo." -
Actually their sex life is more like this because out of all the porn pics you never see her giving Jim a blowjob. Selfish bitch...this is very exploitable.
The talented "artist"
Dolphy is so much more than just a grown woman, Mary Sue and a furfag attending animation school with no job. What more could she possibly be, you ask? Well, read on.
NICKNAME : Dolphy
REAL NAME : Susanne Almanstoetter
AGE/BIRTHDAY : 24 / October 4th , 1984
HEIGHT : 1,67 m
WEIGHT : You really think she'll tell ya that? Then you're crazier than she thought! : D
-
-
This is supposed to represent her relationship with a fictional character -
-
voices in my heaaaaaad. Why must I be so popular!!1! It's such a curse being a talented as Dolphy. -
Inspired by guess who! -
Note the differences. And if you don't see them then you need your eyes checked biotch! -
And the variety. -
Fuck you hat0rz.
-
-
The Truth finally comes out -
There are at least a hundred of these in her gallery. Literally. -
Behold Dolphy's sophisticated sense of humor. -
Now THAT'S comedy. -
Her latest shit pile. -
Some other asshole who can't draw basically telling Dolphy she's doing it wrong -
You'll never guess what this is. Ever. -
How could this happen to her?! EMO MOMENTS. -
still NO SUE -
At least Marina doesn't weigh over nine thousand pounds -
Someone paid $60 for this. They should get their money back. -
The snake part is lumpy. -
Penis tower -
One Jim, Two Jim, Short Jim, Tall Jim -
Who needs reference anyway? Amirite!? -
Dolphy haet crit. These comments vanished shortly after they were screencapped. -
Of course anyone who is jealous of anyone is clearly jealous. -
Seriously. Fuck you. -
NOT A SUE GAIZ -
Turns out Dolphy is an anarchist. Or genocidal. -
Dolphy brings the concept of the Divine Right of Kings into the 21st century! -
Oh, and don't forget emo. -
And she fails at sarcasm. -
Moar. -
And moar. -
The beginnings of a bitch fit. -
She continues to take the lulz out of it -
Helpful advice? How dare you give Dolphy advice!? Don't you know she likes being shitty -
bawwwwwwww! -
See what they did there? -
Guess whooooooo -
But there are some things she doesn't lie about. Entirely. -
A sheep strays from the flock...it's for the best. -
A simple yet complex question. -
Someone told her the truth before they were banhammered and hidden.
Even her tracing skills are awesome!
-
The good one -
Yeah awesome... Dolphy's original ideas are superb!
Death of a Loved One, trivial compared to a loss of 30 dollars
Only Dolphy, with her legion of retarded fans, can get away with making herself seem like quite the poor starving artist for losing out on a little bit of money (a mere $30 or so?) while on the flip side, someone lost her mother.
Dolphy whined that one of her commissioners was able to get a free sketch from her oh-so-talented hands. This fan commissioned from Dolphy a picture dedicated to her recently dead mother. Dolphy usually shows her commissioners a sketch before the commissioner has to pay, and this episode was no exception. The commissioner was probably busy burying her dead mother, so paying an internet artist for something as trivial as this probably wouldn't be her top priority, and so she never answered Dolphy's emails.
Most other artists would let it be. Not finish the picture and be done with it--or perhaps even make it a gift for this poor girl. But Dolphy threw a bitch fit. She finished the picture, posted it on her DA site and bitched about how she got ripped off in true attention whore fashion.
Her fans whined with her in chorus. What cruel person could take advantage of poor Dolphy like that, after all. Screw your dead mother, Dolphy needs that $30 to buy more Jim memorabilia she can masturbate to!
And of course, Dolphy was eventually paid that money by fellow basement-dweller Dagerom [1]. That’s right, some idiot thought, “Oh, the injustice!”, paid Dolphy the money, and will see nothing from it.
Dolphy needs some moar asspats and money, plz.
The Concept Art Incident
—some troll wannabe | ||
On August 26, 2008, an unfunny newfag did it wrong and took a couple pieces of Dolphy's art to parade in front of the drawfags over at ConceptArt. It drew expected criticism on anatomy and perspective to which the obvious fail troll responded with standard boring and painfully fake butthurt, succeeding in generating a total of zero lulz. The thread was quickly locked as the Conceptart forumers realized obvious troll is obvious.
The real Dolphy was promptly alerted by her legion of fantards, posting a call to arms in her DA journal. Naturally her fanfucks flooded Conceptart to swamp the mods with hundreds of reports of the offender, and spamming the Conceptart Lounge with Dolphy Support threads. Insults and accusations flew as over 100 comments were posted in her journal, her fans foaming at the mouth, and lashing out at the troll, Conceptart's obvious jealousy at Dolphy's mad skillz, and accusing ED for their sins against Dolphy. The incident ended with with fans offering Dolphy asspats and e-penis sucking to ease the unjust cruelty of having her work unwillingly critiqued.
For the Love of Love (Troll Artwork and Exploitables)
Sparklekitty x Jim has quite the fan-following ever since Dolphy popularized it.
-
-
-
-
-
-
Oh the possibilities -
Jizz for Milady? -
He's so big! He's so black! -
Such high society social commentary -
-
FIXED!!
Dolphy the Skilled Author
Dolphy's also into the fanfiction business! Doesn't that surprise you? But being a very skilled author she would NEVAR write Mary Sue fics. Here's an example from her "me did writy writy, wanna see?" page:
—Dolphy |
Dolphy's latest obsession
Sometime last Thursday, Dolphy and her retarded friends decided to make a cartoon. This triggered Dolphy's lastest obsession, kiwis. That's right, those fucktarded birds that resemble hairy testicles. You can enjoy her Kiwi artwork, or, watch her shitty movie here. Please troll at your own convience.
What basically happens in the movie is a stupid bird is emo because all the other animals have fuck buddies but he/she/it doesn't. In a fit of emo raeg, it somehow knocks a fruit out of a tree, and decides to fuck it (sex scene tastefully cut out, but plenty of foreplay, post coital and morning after scenes included). The fruit, pissed off at being raped, decides to make a break for it. Some fatass retard sporting a pedo beard grabs the stupid bird and tries to kill it. The retarded chicken ends up tapping some other trap bird who is offended, but then gives in and gets fucked. The end.
Fun fact: Dolphy does the voice of the bird in this film. Imagine our Dolphy, fat and fugly as ever, in a studio, sighing, purring, and gasping into a microphone. Feel disgusted yet?
Another fun fact: The film is impossible to fap to. Go on. Try it.
Horseshittastic
Horsetastic is a shitty webcomic Dolphy conned some bitch into paying her to do. It's an amazing, original, hilarious cartoon about horses doing horse things. Her creative, totally original characters are as follows:
There's also a little girl but Dolphy doesn't care about her because she's into little boys. For some reason the horses put up with the girl instead of stomping her to death.
External Links
- Dolphy
Dolphiana- Her portfolio website. It's empty except for a few crappy sketches because all she draws is fanart and furry shit
now-famous porn- baleeted!- Her Youtube account
- Her Lion King sue art
- Dolphy shits on 9/11 victims with her furfaggotry
- Dolphy Banned from SA
- Dolphy seeks like minded BBW
- Dolphy's official site - closed
- furry-to-furry account?
- second f2f account? wtf?
- buy Dolphy toys on patched together!
|
Dolphy is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
|
Dolphy is part of a series on Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage. |
 Dolphy is part of a series on articles which are the subject of retarded edit wars |
Beware all ye who tread here Atheist • Ape • AQ Worlds • Black Jesus • Christian • Chimp • |
|---|
