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Amiibo
Amiibo's are shitty action figures that all the 30 year old furfaggot virgins love to collect, for reasons yet unknown. Despite being $14 at your local Wal-Mart, they don't tend to do much. An example of this are Smash Bros. amiibos; you can train them to level 50 which is certainly not a flagrant rip off of Pokemon in any way, shape or form. If you have Peach, Zelda or Lucario, you can masturbate to them. This comes as littles surprise, as the entire Smash Bros. community does this anyways as they are basement dwelling virgins, and that's pretty much it. Literally! You can also use them in Mario Kart 8 to get racing suits for your Mii but nobody cares about that. You can't use them on wifi or anything like that. Amiibos just somehow attract the aspies. Most amiibos, the only ones that people give a shit about, are hard to find as Nintendo are Asians they fail to SEE that they don't make enough amiibos.
How to make money with Amiibos
1) Buy as many as possible, provided that they are not Mario, Luigi, Donkey Kong, Peach, Zelda, Pikachu, Kirby, Yoshi or Diddy Kong amiibos. Don't do this with Samus or Link as they are not rare enough to return a worthwhile investment. Do this even if it means buying the entire shelf filled with the amiibos not listed above and ending up paying 500 bucks for them.
2) Put them up on Kijiji or eBay for a hundred dollars each. Amiibo fags will pay upwards of $100 for an amiibo they are looking for as the average amiibo hunter lives in his mother's basement and doesn't need to spend his money on important shit much less things such as drugs, parties or sex.
3) Repeat step 1 and 2
4) ????
5) PROFIT
Amiibo list For Smash Bros
The amiibos that no-one gives a rat's ass about
- Mario (Good luck finding a store that dosen't sell a hundred of this fat wop)
- Luigi
- Donkey Kong
- Diddy Kong
- Pikachu
- Kirby
- Link
- Samus
- Yoshi
- Bowser
- Shiek
- Toon Link
Amiibos that people buy to use as sex objects
- Zelda
- Peach
- Lucario (as half the smash bros community are furfags)
- Rosalina
- Lucina, Zero Suit Samus and Palutena will be added here as soon as they come up.
Amiibos that everyone would go around murdering people for
- Little Mac (Extremely rare)
- Fox
- Pit
- Villager (Extremely rare and discontinued)
- Captain Falcon
- Rosalina
- Wii Fit Trainer (Somehow extremely rare and discontinued from jewtendo)
- Marth (Again very rare and they claim it's discontinued, but will secretly be re-released with the next Fire Emblem game. but somehow, these have sold for $70 dollars on eBay)
- Shulk
- Sonic
- Megaman
- Meta Knight
- Ike
- King Dedede
- Lucina
- Pac Man
- Ness (Gamestop Exclusive)
Future Amiibos that everyone will go ape shit for
- Zero Suit Samus (Make sure you buy as many of these as possible, even if it means stealing them from children. You could sell these off for a good 200 bucks as every smash fan has a crush on her and would spend every penny just to get their hands on their waifu.)
- Charizard
- Wario
- Lucina (as jewtendo no longer makes amiibos of her clone, Marth. And she's female so she is atractive for the basement dwellers)
- Pac-Man
- Greninja
- Ganondorf
- Jigglypuff
- Bowser.Jr
- Mewtwo (if they ever make an amiibo out of him)
- Palutena (only because she's female)
- Dark Pit, as Pit is hard as fuck to find. Otherwise no-one will buy his emo ass.
Future Amiibos that no-one will buy cuz they suck
- Robin
- Duck Hunt
- Dr.Mario
- Falco
- Olimar
- Mr. Gaymanwatch
- That stupid robot guy that no-one gives a fuck about
- Ness
- Mii fighters (if jewtendo makes amiibos out of them, whether they do or not no-one will care)
Amiibo Hunter level scale
0-1: Congrats, you actually have a life outside of amiibo die hard collectors.
2-5: You don't have many friends (or any for that matter) if you have this many amiibos.
6-11: You live in your mother's basement relying on welfare for money to buy your amiibos. If you have this many amiibos, you are most likely related to Monica Punk.
12-20: You go batshit insane over amiibos. In fact, when a new wave of amiibos come out, you'll wake up at 6 in the morning to drive up to Wal-Mart forgetting to change from your PJ's and scream out loud like a toddler when you spot a new amiibo. Your best friend is your virginity.
21-27: CONGRATS YOU HAVE ACHIEVED CHRIS CHAN LEVEL!
28-35: Why the fuck are you still collecting this shit?
See Also
- Asperger's syndrome - What all the Amiibo hunters suffer from
- Basement-dweller Every 16+ year old you see at wal-mart just to buy a shitty amiibo
- Chris Chan - Everyone that collects amiibos irl
- Mariotehplumber - Shoving thousands of Rosalina amiibos up his ass so fans cannot.
- Plastic crap
- Shit no one cares about
- Super Smash Bros
- Virgin - Everyone that has 1 or more amiibos
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Amiibo is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |
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