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Georgia Varley
Georgia Varley was a 16-year old female britfag from Wirral, England who was killed while attempting to board a moving train in Liverpool. Following a drunken whore dance-off spent in the company of other whores. Varley, for reason/s unknown, lagged behind the group as they boarded the train that would return them home. The train began moving and, with the grace of a greased-up spastic, she slipped into the gaping-maw betwixt the platform and carriage. The train proceeded to run over her resulting in a spectacularly gory death witnessed by around fifty persons present upon the platform... a number of these later required counselling in order to help them fully appreciate the epic nature of the display they'd experienced. The most tragic aspect of this incident was that the train service then had to be delayed for an entire 30-minutes following Varley's demise while Scousers fed upon her remains. Meanwhile, she is now a handmaiden unpaid whore to Colonel Gaddafi after several other residents of hell turned her down for being too ugly.
—Jonathan |
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The shitstorm commenced at 23:18 EST on the 24th October 2011 when a poster (later identified by the alias Magalie Paradis) posted a troll thread on /b/, calling all Anons to assist in trolling a memorial page of Varley. Anonymous quickly rimmed dead skank and her memory by spamming over 9000 posts onto the memorial wall; royally pissing off every non-/b/tard on the page who rejected /b/-tards rights to b-tards. The mum got all teary eyed and got her 20 other children to form an internet posse to serve internet justice. Many threatened to 'drop a dime' and alert the cyber-police to Anon's activities; a number went so far as to threaten those involved in the raid with physical violence (see internet tough guy) but, like a New York cardstand, Anon stood strong and unwavering realising that if genes were the same the downers would probably fall under a train too , combined with the huge blind-spot they would have due to them being cross-eyed inbreds . What do we learn from this? That if you put your head under a train, You die.
Other shit you don't care about:
- She had a boyfriend named Pierce Sweeny
- Whoever created the memorial found it necessary to put the sluttiest picture they could find of Varley as the profile photo; leading many to believe that they were trolling nothing less than an absolute skank, which she probably was.
- Father is Paul Varley, Mother is Paula Varley (because they're really fucking original with names in the UK) ~ Possibly Lesbians
- The train guard is now being prosecuted for manslaughter in order to bring about revenge and supply extended misery to Scousers/Wirral-folk thus sating their voracious grief-addiction [1]. As of November 2012, he has been found guilty and sentenced to five years in Prison.
Memorial Safari
A fine example of not only the quality of work; but also the teamwork that took place...
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Nemesis!
Enter the White Knight
Following the activities of Anon being brought to his attention a local Leftard MP named Steve Rotherham (Labour) decided that this tragic incident was an ideal opportunity for him to make political hay and immediately began charging his lasers. The plan was simple; make trolling illegal, he even went so far as to liase with the Attorney General himself in order to discuss 'loopholes in the law'.
—Steve Rotherham, MP, Wirral News |
It was later pointed out by Jonathan Bishop founder of The Trolling Academy in a letter to the Liverpool Echo that Mr Rotherham's actions were TOTALLY FUCKING POINTLESS due to legislation already being in place to stop such abuse.
—Jonathan Bishop, Liverpool ECHO |
External Links
- If you wish to contribute to the troll, you may visit the Facebook memorial page here
- Also, another memorial page ~ Feel free to have a go!
- Full, no-shit story ~ dailymail.co.uk
- BAWWWWWWWW ~ dailymail.co.uk
- Jonathan Bishop's site