Gardening

Gardening is one of many IRL hobbies that NORPs do. Gardening does not require a whole lot of skill or money. It is therefore good for newfags. It can be done outside or indoors.

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Gardening has no Internets connection ED articles need internets relation, and it's not hard to do. You can help by adding more info on websites/trolling about this topic and lulz/drama pertaining to them or this page could be deleted at any time. For help, see this and this

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What people generally grow in their garden.

What grows in a garden

• Weed
• Flowers
• Chocolate
• Tobacco
• Corn
• Vegetables
• Fruit
• Bushes
• Succulents
• Green Onions

Types of Gardens

File:FlowerRape.gif

Typical plant found in a Japanese Garden

• Japanese Garden - Japanese gardens are set up by weeaboos and 16 year old girls who read alot of yaoi manga. They are generaly composed of atleast one Cherry Tree or Bonsai plant. It is very easy to fail at this type of garden as failure to prune some plants may end in overgrowth and plant tentacle rape.
• Rock Garden - Rock gardens are for people who fail at gardening, period.
• Water Garden - Water gardens are a great way to attract mosquitoes who will eat you alive!
• Succulent Garden - Succulents are plants that require very little water to grown. The most popular succulents are cactus. Some succulents may very good houseplants, but very bad dildos. Be sure to let your mom know that.
• Vegitable Garden - The most popular form of garden. Perennial favorites include Tomatoes, Peppers, Carrots, Sunflowers, Corn, Squash (including pumpkin), Cabbage, Beats, Turnups, and Onions. Constant care is necessary. Plants should be spaced out so that weeds don't choke plants. You will probably never do this form of garden, and if you do, you will lose interest and there will be a big hole in the lawn. Better stick with letting mexicans at some farm that uses leathal doses of toxic pesticides and herbacides applied to genetically modified crops, you hippie.
• Flower Garden - Flower gardens are planted by gays and misanthopic women.
  • Rose Garden - A subtype of the Flower Garden. More popular than a regular flower garden, and surprisingly less gay because THORNS are involved. Be sure to handle your roses without gloves on. AND DON'T SAY DESU!
• Orchard - Orchards are used to raise trees that bear fruit. The average Apple Tree only grows to be about 4 to 6 feet tall. Some citrus plants are cultivated to be accessable to reach, but many of them require a fruit picker, which is just a stick with a net on it. Orchards take forever to grow and can die very easily from not enough water, too much water, cold, and heat. They are the iPhone of the garden generes.
• Vineyard - Vineyards are popular among yuppies, especially if they saw Sideways. Even if the own just one grape vine, they will demand that a mexican harvest the grapes.
• Hydroponic gardens - Grow plants indoors, especially if you don't want the cops to find your weed stash! To decrease suspicion, you may have to be a damn dirty hippie and hook up the electrical system to a solar pannel system on the roof. Uberhippies would also use a rainwater collection system for irrigation.

Things that kill gardens

• Cold
• Heat
• Too much water.
• Not enough water.
• Weeds that can't be smoked.
• Diseases
• Nosy neighbors
• Dogs
• Cats
• Squirrels
• Rabbits
• Large birds that like to tear shit up.
• Insects (exceptions include bees, but they are disappearing for some strange reason)
• Neglect
• The Cops
• Round-up
• Your Mom

See also

• Farming
• Weed
• Mexicans

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