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David Gonterman

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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The Internet's Most Dangerous Cartoonist
DaveyKins thinks he's superior to ED because he's 40 and rents an apartment. He forgot to mention he's 40 and draws crude comics about magical fursuits that were developed by Disney and change human men into female fox furries
He can't even be bothered to maintain his own ED page. Lazy cunt.

David Gonterman, also known as Daveykins (as his female wish fulfillment characters call him) is the self-described "Internets most dangerous cartoonist." In reality, he's a middle-aged (40 years old as of 2010) whiny furry and Gary Berghoff look-alike with a persecution complex.

DaveyKins is immediately identifiable by his cross-eyed characters, his artistic inability to distinguish between male and female bodies, his rampant self-insertion, his censorship of the swears he himself decided to include in his works, his brilliant use of literal words for sound effects, and constant use of his favorite made up word: 'phracking'. David really likes the word "Foxfire", and uses it as his "studio" name and his imaginary surname. He was planning to write a book exposing the evil that is Encyclopedia Dramatica, but like most of his projects, he appears to have lost interest because somebody jangled keys in front of him or something.

He used to be a reliable lolcow, but after 14 years of being told he's shit, it seems even he started believing it. He now makes fun of himself and will actually take suggestions on how to (relatively) "improve" his work. Despite his intentions, this only comes across as the anguished moans of a broken man who finally had his soul crushed.

 
 
There's no bigger middle finger you can give to this site than continuing something you love and they despise, and then watching from the sides as Karma strikes the ED down. And it will.
 

 

—David Gonterman on this website

Gonterworks

Warning!
A shitload of fail and broken dreams ahead

Gonterfiction

The final cover art of his "novel" that no publisher could possibly refuse. Is his pen name really "Daveykins Foxfire"?

David Gonterman started drawing comics and writing fanfics at least 100 years ago, and every single one will inevitably star a self-insert Mary Sue of DaveyKins himself. Seeming to finally realize that his drawings are horrendously bad, DaveyKins has taken to thinking he may be more successful as a writer. In this he is very mistaken.



[-+]Lost Boy Found


[-+]Piasa Bird

[[This huge bunch of text is making my eyes hurt. Collapse plawks.][Expand to view Piasa Bird]]



[-+]Blood and Metal

[[This huge bunch of text is making my eyes hurt. Collapse plawks.][Expand to view Haunted Fantasies]]



[-+]American Kitsune



[-+]Sally Protest


[-+]Kitsune .44


[-+]Sailor Moon USA


[-+]NiTRO


[-+]Night Soldiers


[-+]Planeswalker


[-+]Bakabreakers/Livewire Latte


[-+]Scarlet PI (formerly "Foxfire")

Things DaveyKins can draw

  • Men (so all his women look like men)
  • Mullets
  • Cross-eyed people
  • Sound effects
  • Mullets
  • Crap
  • Differently sized boxes (to represent houses, cars, and faces)
  • Big-Ass Mullets

Gonterdrama

The League of Extraordinary Gontermen

Although Davey-Kins's horrible-ass fanfictions and comics had been known to the MiSTing communities since 1998, he did not receive proper exposure until his faggotry was discovered by the Portal of Evil in 2000. Many lulz were made at his expense and a comic featuring the POE residents taking on DaveyKins and the related thread eventually reached over 9,000 comments (no, srsly). This was the exact moment DaveyKins became an Internet celebrity.

DevianTART dramarama

DaveyKins hates Free Speech

As of 19th December 2006, Daveykins promises dire consequences to anyone linking to this page (dire in the sense that he'll get them booted from DeviantArt):

   
 
Anyone who links to the Encyclopedia Dramatica article on me will be immediately reported to the DA admins. The result will be a suspension or a ban. I don't mind people making Lul-lul-lul-lul sites on me, but I do draw the line at Porn, and when you link to that site from this page or anywhere else in my site (including the FoxFire Studios message board as well as this page) you will be linking from this site to porn. And that, my friends, will be a violation of the Terms of Service here.
 

 
 

—David Gonterman (Like most stupid TARTlets he thinks dA staff can police the internets)

On December 28, 2007, one of his fanboys linked to this article claiming he mistook it for Wikipedia. It wouldn't appear that Davey-kins has banned him.

Wiki's closed

WHERE'S STAN LEE NOW, MOTHERFUCKER?
Oh. There he is.

July 31, 2007

No Wiki! For Good bleeping reason… Filed under: Uncategorized — DaveykinsFoxFire @ 7:21 am

I think I feel pretty much the lowest I’ve ever felt this morning. Just as I was about to get going on my second book when I got the word. Someone has hacked into my Wiki site and royally smucked it up. I’ll spare you the horrid details, but I’ll just say that it’s not safe for work, not safe for Disney, and not safe for human consumption. Let’s just say that it made the joke “The Aristrocrates” tame in comparison.

And then I looked at the date of the changes: July 20.

I’ll say it again. July 20.

I just received word of the vandalism TODAY!

I don’t know whom I should be angry over worse: The Radio Edit who put this up, or ME! FOR LETTING IT STAY ON THIS LONG!!!!

...I really need some support right now, because I’ve deleted the wiki, and I’m considering deleting the whole web site right now. I bust my tail off for over two years getting books written and published so I can, at the very least, earn something more than what I could earn flipping burgers. Right now . . . . it just seems too much for me to ask.

So Not the Draema

File:IMMARITINMAHBOOKZ.gif

Still butthurt over the bannination of the Anti-ED-Club, DaveyKins takes it into his own hands to bring light to ED's so called "luls" in his new book "So Not the Draema." No, really. In usual DaveyKins fashion, he couldn't be bothered to come up with a title not based on ripping something off (in this case, "Kim Possible Movie: So the Drama"). Note that in the subsequent comments on his shocking news, everyone tries to bash him with repeated reality, only to find steadfast denial on DaveyKins's part, creating more Lulz as they abandon him as the sinking ship he is.

File:DaveykinsFoxFire DAJ 144181.gif

In the aftermath of his latest anti-ED plans, many people tried to make David understand that in writing his book, he'd only be a target for more lulz, so, faced with so much rejection and denial, he set out to Delete Fucking Everything and cover his tracks, only creating more lulz with his justifications to do so, and even losing people who mysteriously supported him before. (Like drawing an actually decent cover for his book, only to have it covered with David's terrible 'art')

File:DaveykinsLittlecloud.jpg
Avengers assemble!

It should also be noted that Daveykins is attracting the attention of his fellow butthurt ED "victims."

ED killed Megan Meier!

At least that's what this loon says, in his most recent blog entry, where he goes on and on again on his bullshit about how writing his book about ED will magically stop all the trollin' and make everyone feel better, making him an Hero. It is worthy mentioning that he calls himself 'one of the top ten most flamed people on the internet', right there with Chris Crocker AND George W. Bush, despite no one bothering to email him anymore since his brief stint of internet fame (he also implies in this statement that anyone besides himself actually refers to DaveyKins as "Daveykins Foxfire").

As expected, DaveyKins's reading comprehension is poor and he doesn't realize Megan Meier was never on ED before she hung herself over MySpace, and ED exists to document internet drama, and if that's not internet drama, Anonymous doesn't know what is. Megan was done in by the mother of her ex-BFF pretending to be a teenage boy, all ED did was report the lulz.

January 8: DaveyKins Day

On January 8th, 2008, a brave (and possibly masochistic) Anonymous on 4chan's /co/ board decided to embark upon posting the entire series of DaveyKins's FoxFire comics. This level of epic horror had not been felt by /co/ before, and it was decided that the sacrifice of the selfless Anonymous that posted the comics must never be forgotten. As such, January 8th was officially declared to be DaveyKins Day (G-Day), so that the world will not forget the horrors that were unleashed by the Internet's Most Dangerous Cartoonist. Suggested celebrations for DaveyKins Day include MST'ing his works and posting comments on his deviantArt account.

On the first G-Day, it was made known that DaveyKins actually has an Xbox Live account, and has been confirmed to exist by brave Xbots. Demonstrating a considerable lack of imagination, the username David Gonterman is apparently not fondly looked upon by Halofags. According to some accounts, he and his teammates tend to be "weapon-camping fucktards", which is not terribly surprising. Some of the fucktards with which he associates usernames include ErroneousLumen and XxXKarmacideXxX, but it's better to refer to their formal names, which are Fucktard 1 and Fucktard 2.

My Rep's a Lemon and I Want My Money Back

On September 14th, 2008, DaveyKins posted a new journal on his deviantArt account wherein he claims that he's looking into hiring a company that promises to improve one's Internet reputation so that he can reclaim his "good name." He also proceeds to whine about ED, claim that they (among others) are the reason he can't leave his past works behind, and proceeds to apologize for all the shit he's unleashed upon the world:

I’m sorry for writing ‘Piasa’ the way I did. I want to rewrite it and make it what it should have been (a domestic take on a Toho-style Godzilla movie) all along. I’m sorry for ‘Sailor Moon: American Kitsune.’ I’m sorry for making the original version of ‘BAM’ the quagmire it became. I’m sorry for all those half-assed works, both in word and in art, that most people troll me over. I’m sorry for getting so bogged down in the flack that I end up dropping projects and looking for a better replacement in areas that might not welcome me in. And I’m especially sorry for being an ass about it all. I wish I’ve never done any of it. I wish I could leave it behind–it is over a decade old, I need to say–and move on with my life.

And then, he lets loose with one of the lulziest lines he's ever put out on the web:

I want to be known for what I can do, instead of someone else’s lulz.

Gonterquotes

"Lilmarciemouse", rumoured to be DaveyKins's Internet sweetheart (DaveyKins not pictured). She may be or may be not undead.
   
 
My legal name is David Gonterman, a BA graduate from SIUE who got good and stoned one day over what I'm allowed to do with my life and decided that it would be a good idea to showcase my talents on the internet with the hopes that I'd get noticed by someone who would want me to do what I like for a living.
 

 
 

—David Gonterman on his life and talents

   
 
My biggest pet peeve in the world has to be my last name, Gonterman. It sounds like there was some Facists in my family tree, and it's nortoriously prone to be butchered. Not only can it be mispronounced--the correct version uses three syllables and all short vowels: Gon as in 'Gone,' Ter as in 'Turn', Man--but it can also be used in vain more times than some deities. DaveyKinsia, Gonterego, Gonterforce, Gonterf***etry, Gonter-Fill-In-The-Phracking-Blank, and my personal favorite (not) that I got shackled with from seventh grade to my non-existant High School Graduation, Gonterwoman. The main reason I didn't join the military because I knew in my heart that I'd go "Full Metal Jacket" on my Drill Sargent/Instructor the instant he calls me "Gontermaggot" just once, and I won't remember a single thing afterward in my court martial. Now you know why I created an alias for myself.
 

 
 

David Gonterman on his name

   
 
And if you think I'm homophobic, then you _really_ don't know me; I have about a dozen people in my home town that actually thinks I'm _gay_.
 

 
 

—David Gonterman on his sexuality

   
 
I'll give a free commission to anyone who donates me enough money for a Deviant Art Submission. Three Months minimum. As you may suspect, proceeds of these prints will go to maintaining my apartment, so I do hope that you all buy some.
 

 
 

—David Gonterman on his income.

   
 
Anatomy is one of the areas I'm constantly hammering, and how well I do at it depends on the day it is. (Besides, I had to do this pic on the QT). If I get enough Borders Gift Cards, maybe I'll get an anatomy book.
 

 
 

—David Gonterman on his artwork

   
 
What the FUCK did they do to Allah to get THAT kind of treatment? What the FUCK did those who were in the World Trade Center three years ago went and done to deserve what they got?! That's what I want to ask Allah, and He better not give me a dumb look as an answer if he wants to keep in one piece! I said that people who do these things and those who cheer over them do not deserve to draw breath, and the last thing He needs is some American giving him new definitions to 'Great Satan'.
 

 
 

—David Gonterman on 9/11

   
 
Maybe I'm sending a signal I didn't register in my Asperger's riddled brain and my own chosen sexual identity.
 

 
 

—David Gonterman on his Asperger's riddled brain and his chosen sexual identity

   
 
I was kicked out because my art sucked.
 

 
 

—David Gonterman on being laughed out of the furry fandom

   
 
I so need to get laid. Really Really bad.
 

 
 

David Gonterman on himself

   
 
Some would say that all tracework is bad, while others just post nothing but traces just for their recomended daily allowment of lulz. Me? If you see something you want to remix, and that you're just planning on using the trace as a creative launching pad, and if you list the source properly, it's more or less cool.
 

 
 

—David Gonterman approving of plagiarism

Gontergallery

Plz to be placing all the lulziest caps and pics that can't fit elsewhere in the article here.

Troll artwork

Lovingly Rendered Artwork for Davey-kins

External links

Gonterarchives & dissections

Marvel at how terrible he's always been.

Tributes

DaveyKins has fascinated and horrified the masses for ages.

David Gonterman is part of a series on

DeviantART

Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage.

David Gonterman is part of a series on

Furfaggotry

Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage.

[...and then there was a gay orgy.It was a dark and stormy night...]

David Gonterman is part of a series on FanFiction

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