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Animu

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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“ 		 
Anime is a prime example of why two nukes wasn't enough
  		„
  		 

—New Hampshire Democrat State Representative Nick Levasseur, [1]

Animu (sometimes called anime and Japanimation) is Japan's poor excuse for a genre of cartoons. Animu's true purpose is to erode the minds of innocent Americunt children, 16 year old girls, and basement dwellers so that Americunts will eventually only know the words "KAWAII" and "DESU", leading to America to fully submit to Japan. Animu's secondary purpose is to be corrupted into hentai, which will be censored anyways, so who really gives a fuck? BTW, in IRL, call it a "cartoon". People say anime so it doesnt ruin their teenage self esteem, what little is left.

If you noticed she is holding a watermelon first, then you are completely normal a nigger.
What is this faggotry?
3D Porn is the easiest way to troll animu fanboys, as seen here when the MarshviperX tripban saga spilled over to /a/.
A typical Animu scene

History

 
Translation fail. Or not?
File:Lolicon2343.jpg
Even though she is 13, she can take an 8 inch cock easily. and that's AWW-RIGHTTT!

Animu was created by talentless Japanese artists as a clue to how fucked up Japanese men's minds in Japan. This is due to the Americunts during World War II dropping atomic bombs on them. The first animu was technically The Story of the Concierge Mukuzo Imokawa created in 1917, but the film Hakujaden, created in 1958 (by assholes), is widely regarded as the first "modern" example of animu. In the 1980s and 1990s, animu began to become popular in America.

Now, thanks to the Interbutts, legions of kiddie-diddling male mouth-breathers walk the malls and school corridors of America, looking from beneath sweat-soaked cat ears to make your sweet little Suzie or Billy part of their sickening 2-D sexual scenario. And it's even worse in Japan, where animu has mutated into the nightmare of moe, in which grown men now pine for tiny girls with no tits the way their dads used to fap to Ursula Andress or Raquel Welch.

The "Artform"

Animu is often praised for its artistry and the high quality of the animation, even though in reality, the animation is crap, the low frame rate makes the movement choppy, meaning the animators are too lazy to draw any plausible movement, so the character stays still for 20 minutes while the mouth opens and closes. Animu is often bagged for its incredibly convoluted and constantly repeated story lines (erroneously called "plots"), its high amount of violence, sex (including tentacle rape, their favorite kind), foreign values like animal rights, sportsmanship, self-respect and filial duty, and its tendency to cause epileptic attacks in small children. Animu plots are often far-fetched, contrived and repetitive, quickly becoming boring and the "humour" quickly becoming unfunny to anyone who is not a brainwashed otaku with a negative IQ.

 
A typical male animu character.
 
Look at all the detail in that cock....
  • Animu males are usually very skinny and effeminate with uber-fighting skills and silly whining galore, or are very muscular and ugly. Japs seem to think they are the toughest street gangstas in the world, dontchaknow. A significant trend is that the more unique a character is, the longer they will survive, save for a few exceptions (e.g. Bad guys that aren't skinny, Bad guys that aren't oozing smugliness); generic foot-soldiers should at least put a large scar across their cheek in order to survive even a few episodes.
  • Animu females are usually busty, firm-bodied, white, over-emotional and have eardrum-shattering high-pitched pre-adolescent voices because Japs whack off to the voices of little girls. Or the girls have a "deep voice", what would be a normal adult female speaking voice outside of Japan, and have a dark, mysterious past which create anti-lulz. Chicks in anime hentai can't take fellatio without breaking their weak jaws and possibly blowing their small noses apart. They will coo eagerly for real Americunt man meat, in contrast to the almost nonexistent bishie penises that girls IRL prefer to yours.
  • People of significant skin tone and prominent labial characteristics rarely exist in animu, and when they do, they usually look like something out of a banned Bugs Bunny cartoon from the 1950's. White Otakus excuse this by claiming that "Japan is an isolated island with no knowledge of the outside world", which is total bullshit; Japan has uber-technology (just look at their giant humanoid robots) and most Japs have more access to teh Internets than Americans do. IRL, Japs are a very racist people but still love everything Western, especially after their defeat in World War II. For some reason, in animu they seem to be obsessed with France. Fortunately, as displayed later, Germany is retaking its positions.

More recent animus are even gayer and have characters with bug-eyes that literally take up more than half of their face, hair that is bright and colorful enough to give someone a fucking headache, a nose that's impossible to see without a microscope, and girls that orgasm every 10 seconds for no fucking reason whatsoever. Of course, in typical animu, everyone can jump at least 100 feet in the air and punch through solid concrete-reinforced steel or swing a sword hard enough to create a tornado like Japs wish they could do in real life. Despite claims that Anime people are white, the small jaw and lack of a real brow indicate that they are Japanese people without squinty eyes.

They also refuse to call Japanese cartoons "cartoons" because this is an English word, and they have forgotten how to use it because of brain-damaging, seizure-inducing cartoons and eating those sugar-laden Choco-sawdust Sticks. However, they are excellent at enraging every normal person within earshot simply by bullshitting about these unimportant aspects of Japan.

OMG Hot!

 
Six reasons to watch Dragon Ball Z

Animu chicks, with their irresistible giant eyes, eardrum piercing voices, oddly colored she-mullet hair, their lipless mouths, and their tendency to act like complete fucktarded whores, have managed to find themselves entering the wet dreams of many lonely nerds, resulting some to prefer animu ladies to RL wimminz. This is probably because Animu bitches don't care if you're fat, greasy, and masturbate to lolicon. They don't slap you in the face when you compliment their tits before even properly introducing yourself, and they don't call the police when they find you in their room masturbating into their panties whilst holding their baby photos in your spare hand. The ladies of the animu world don't care about such trivial matters of which was just mentioned, all they want to do is engage in deviant sex acts with you. In this way animu girls are very similar to the Russians.

Animu girls also have the amazn ability to materialize a massive bludgeoning weapon out of thin air and yell "BAKA HENTAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!" at an ear-splitting volume and beating the living shit out of the male protagonists.

  Moar info: Hentai.

Moe

 
See if you can spot some moe characteristics here.

Moe (or 萌), not to be confused with Moe Syzlak from The Simpsons, is a Japanese slang word referring to a fetish or love for characters in animu, manga and video games. The word has come to be used as a general term for a hobby, enthusiasm, or a non-sexual fetish. Moe characters have appealing traits such as glasses, clumsiness, young age, cute dress... basically all suitable characteristics for someone who is asking for it. This is why characters like these are largely included in many animus; authors like to create their show with as little effort as possible, as when a moe character is introduced all other qualities of the show can be thrown out the window, since animu fans only care about character development which tends to spread out across 30-ish episodes, if not more.

Chibi

 
OMGKAWAII!1!!!!111!
File:Chibi1.jpg
Chibi, vocalist of The Birthday Massacre

The pinnacle of absolute faggotry and lack of imagination, Chibi is the offspring of worthless wapanese cockminds following a two-step animé tutorial in order to feel clever and artistic. Also known as "Super-Hyper-Ultra-Deformed" (or simply super-deformed, SD), it is the bastardized version of the Japanese word "chiisai", which means "small." Otaku apply this term to pictures of animu characters with compacted, stubby little bodies and gigantic, oversized heads. Fangirls have yet to realize that no Japanese person over the age of 6 ever uses this term. Everyone on 4chan commonly fap to this shit due to its similarity to loli.

Chibi is responsible for creating the many otaku emoticons that have remained alive to this very day. It is also commonly used by the yaoi community to describe the uke in a relationship.

Fangirls and Fanboys

 
Typical Animu fan. Note the magazine used as a human substitute, so ronery.

Animu has an enormous fandom worldwide consisting mostly of 16 year old girls, 13 year old boys, and 30-something basement-dweller males, and there are literally thousands of communities on LiveJournal devoted to this art form. Another site, Pisoga, is devoted entirely to animu and consists of hundreds of fans. Hardcore animu fans call themselves otakus, and spend most of their time masturbating to and making AMVs which they then upload to JewTube.

Fanboys/Fangirls watch an unhealthy amount of animu, Causing their eyes to stretch to unholy widths until they look like full blown owl-eyed Indians.

Most fans pretend to have a high knowledge of Japanese culture and language, though they have never been to Japan or even read a book about Japan, and can't even say the most popular Japanese words like "animu" correctly. They often attempt to use Japanese words (but at incorrect times, with the wrong meaning, the wrong conjugation, and the wrong pronunciation) and also pretend to like eating Japanese cuisine, their knowledge of it limited to Pocky, sushi, and Raymond Noodles, which they also cannot pronounce.

In some rare cases, a person can take animu in low doses, and still maintain some level of normalcy. A person who has been able to watch animu and still return from the brink may even maintain a healthy interest in Japanese culture without quoting shit from it incessantly, however such a case is very rare. Fapping to anything animé is the point of no return.

No fans over the age of 12 will admit to ever having liked Dragon Ball Z, but every single animu fan in the world got hooked on Dragon Ball Z before they watched anything else. Some people grew up on Dragon Ball which we all know makes you OG and super cool and not at all as lame as DBZ fans.



A fangirl butthurt over the censorship of animu in America, so she compares it to Disney.
This is a five-part series.

Previous Video | Next Video


Animu Genres

 
Girls are usually drawn in skin tight spandex.
 
Nazi's love anime too
 
Imitation Western anime, don't be fooled!
 
Shonen anime, summarized

Note that some shows are listed under multiple genres. While one would expect that a show with multiple genres is more intricate, complex and interesting, each additional genre actually just compounds the fail already present.


Previous Video | Next Video


Typical fans, giving out art tips

Fail War With /sp/

On February 15, 2010 a small minority of 4chan /sp/ trolls launched one of their fail raids against /a/. The attack garnered little attention and could have been thwarted completely with simple mod intervention. After the 12 year-olds had lost interest and gone to bed, /a/'s tripfags felt it appropriate to spam /sp/ with faggy diplomacy threads. The /sp/artan rednecks didn't take kindly to this nicey-nice gesture and a counterstrike ensued. The conflict eventually devolved into /a/ being spammed with "my face" and "You're all gonna die alone" threads, and /sp/ being exposed to the ungodly horrors of gay animu pornography . More 12 year-old faggots (particularly from /mu/) eventually joined in, mostly in support of /a/, and contributed to the clusterfuck until the faggot mod finally finished masturbating to child porn and went on a banning spree. In the end, nothing was gained except a realization by most chantards that 4chan had a sports board.

Gallery of Typical Animu Cliché's

Animé Faggotry About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See Also

External Links

 

Animu is part of a series on

Anime

Visit the Anime Portal for complete coverage.

 

Animu is part of a series on

Chans

Visit the Chans Portal for complete coverage.

Animu is part of a series on 日本国


Typical Japanese People.　日本人
Filthy Frank • Hard Gay • Mutsuo Toi • Otoya Yamaguchi • Satoshi Uematsu • Shoko Asahara

●

Typical Japanese Culture.　日本の人文

2chan • Anime • Animu Archetypes • Big Daikon • Dating sim • Gaiden • Herbivore Men • Japanese Bug Fights • Manga • Shimajiro


Typical Japanese Porn.　日本の猥本
Bukkake • Guro • Harem Comedy • Hentai • Lolicon • Pantyshot • Shotacon • Yaoi • Yuri

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