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Justin Bieber: Difference between revisions
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File:Justin bieber gets capped yo.gif|A glimpse of the [[pretty cool guy]] who shot the faggot. | |||
File:Bieberstreaking.jpg|Even [[Faux News|the news]] mistake him for a girl. | File:Bieberstreaking.jpg|Even [[Faux News|the news]] mistake him for a girl. | ||
File:Justin Bieber visits animal shelter.jpg | File:Justin Bieber visits animal shelter.jpg | ||
Revision as of 20:07, 2 May 2013
—Justin Bieber, why don't you shoot yourself then? | ||
Justin Biber formerly known as Justine "Ladyboy" Bieber is a drug addicted, ultra-talented lesbian "musician" from Canada who is currently the wet dream of 12-year-old girls across the globe. She has become this year's every year since 2009's Jonas Brothers, and therefore last year's C Simpson only without the descending testicles. She is actually the world's most famous two year old herpes sufferer, although you wouldn't know it from her videos and marketing team who are selling her as a 12-year-old boy. Chemicals these days...ahhh, science. Why The Hell is Justin Bieber Famous Anyways?
She is also a Jewbaby drama queen diva whose already acting like she's Whitney Houston. Her hobbies include Twitter, being the quintessence of awesome, Twatter, being sexually confused, shitter, not knowing what "German" means, relying on her fans to declare war on people who beat her on awards, moar Twitter and making Protest The Hero angry that she became more famous than they are. And Twitter, might we add.
The lil' bastard was found on Chat Roulette by a talent seeker named Scooter Braun, who, upon discovering that young Beaver couldn't sing for shit (but not wanting to lose that mine of Jew Gold), immediately conceived the perfect, cheapest solution: Autotune (see below). Since then, Beaver is followed by a myriad of horny pre-pubescent girls and pedophiles.
Bieber is also often considered the most romantic singer ever, as she dedicates a lot of songs to girls. Meanwhile, her legions of fangirls -Biebians- are all closeted lesbians or unwittingly bi-curious since they fail to realise that being in love with a shemale makes them 100% gay. But he suffers frome explosive retardation disease. a disease where your penis explodes and sprays retard juice on anyone 15 meters near it. The penis regenerated every night, for it next day retard splatter, this gives other people the explosive retardation disease, it is confused with furious retardation disease that is exactly what it sounds like.
Recently, her music video "Baby" has achieved the second most views on YouTube, proving once and for all that humanity is doomed. In addition, Justin Beaver-avoider-who-rather-prefers-small dicks hails from Canada. Seriously, first Celine Dion, then Nickelback, now this? You really fucked us over, Canada. Just for that, we're jacking up prices on our double-headed dildos and banning you from Spotify as punishment. Her "Baby" JewTube video has moar Dislikes than Likes, showing what the general public really thinks about Justine's latest hit song. Still, getting views on Youtube really doesn't mean shit as it's broken beyond belief. The video of the monkey pissing in its own mouth got well over 5 million views. Shit, that monkey has more talent than Bibber or whatever the fuck that faggot's name is.
History
Just like many other 'talented' attention whores who want to get noticed, Justin Bieber's mother decided to create a YouTube channel to whore out her spawn's alleged talents - singing and dancing - and fish for comments. After going viral and becoming Internet famous some big-ass corporate record label A&R guy surfing the web for shota pr0n to fap to, tapped into the zeitgeist (aka Google) and signed the little faggot to Def Jam. While at the facility to sign his record label, she ended up running into black person, who then took Justin Bieber under custody.
To 'legitimize' the hairdo, they teamed him up with IRL famous rap producers and stars to make records and vidyas for per-pubescent teeny-boppers to get their moist little panties bunched over and make their parents fork over wads of jewgold for records, merchandise, concerts and fan club shit.
Recently, shit hit the fan between Justin Bieber and his totally mature fanbase after an incident in which she was mobbed by fangirls at an Australia airport and had his hat stolen. Outraged by the loss of the only thing concealing his horrid haircut, Bieber posted a Tweet demanding that the mob of batshit insane fangirls should try to be less... well batshit insane when meeting him.
Pattie Mallette supported Ytask
Justin Bieber, before being famous has actually joined Ytask, a big pedophile grooming group on Youtube. You can read more about this here.
Patty Bieber, who was posted here a long time ago, is actually Justin Bieber's mom and she has made videos supporting Ytask:
—How to listen to Justin. | ||
Rehosted because JewTube is gay, hence how Justin Bieber started his career there.
Pattie is actually a huge Christfag and initially pimped out her little girl hoping she would get signed by a Christian music label. She prayed that God would use her girl as a modern Prophet Samuel, a voice to her generation. A youth pastor, perhaps? Or even a singer on a Christian label, she thought?
Sadly (for us) God does not approve of faggotry so she had to settle for dealing with negroes and kikes when a deal with Jesus failed to materialise. Justine is now planning to release a Christmas album in order to torture everyone in the decorated streets plus Generation X with new jolly gay 'jingle bells'-related songs such as "Under the Mistletoe" and "Who the fuck is Alice Shawny?" in hopes of making Big Mama proud of her songs, which effortlessly makes people's brains melt with or without vaguely Christmas related crap.
Expect suicide rates during Xmas season to double up this year. And it will all be Bieber's fault.
Justin Bieber and Twitter
Being an international star, Justin Bieber's popularity can be seen on Twitter and other Web 2.0 sites.
The Trending Topics conspiracy
Justin Bieber constantly dominates the twitter "Trending Topics" list, thanks to the fact that (not counting niggers and Brazilians) twitter is entirely populated by 12-16-year-old Bieber fangirls who spend their lives completing Fun140 "surveys" with Justin Bieber's name in them. These surveys, once completed, post back to Twitter in the format "I just took 'lol if u met justin bieber at the mall wat do?' and answered 'hug him and DEMAND A AUTOGRAPH OR KILL HIM <3'," meaning that a vast majority of tweets mentioning Justin Bieber are computer-generated.
The conspiracy against Justin
Recently, the admins of Twitter realized that their current Trending Topic algorithm fails, and decided to re-write the way Twitter calculates which "topics" are "trending." This has caused Team DisBeliebers, led by the gayest twitter user EVER Bieberisafag to convince themselves their existence mattered. They were wrong. So instead of simply computing the most talked about topics on Twitter (which consists of Fun140 Justin Bieber "surveys" and "RTs" from pop stars), the algorithm now computes the newest topics being tweeted the most. Justin Bieber was not pleased to hear that his pedestal as the most tweeted name on Twitter had been removed, and lulz ensued as Bieber accused Twitter of conspiring against him because they "couldn't handle the Bieber."
Bieber's batshit insane fangirls, determined to beat the system, restored Bieber to Twitter fame, to which Bieber responded by saying (in typical Bieber hypocrisy):
—Justin Bieber, responding to his fans' determination to make him look popular on an Internet website. | ||
What's lulzier, the Jonas Brothers still won the 2011 Shorty Award for best Twitter users. This is of course due to the fact that the Jonas Brothers at least have penises.
The Diustin Biber Conspiracy
—A retard | ||
Last Thursday a retarded 16-year-old Biebian from Brazil released a YouTube in response to a dis by Brazilian vlogger named Felipe Neto. Only she couldn't pronounce "Justine Bieber" so it came out as Diustin Biber. Lulz, drama and butthurt ensued and she made the vidya private but resourceful Brazilfags have been busy reuploading it and spamming up twitter making Diustin Biber one of twitter's hottest trending topics globally -much to the confusion of everyone else in the world. Meanwhile tinfoil hatters have been busy cooking up possible explanations to the trend including batshit insanity like: Diustan Biber is a new viral marketing tactic by her label and/or Biebians to keep la Beaver trending on shitter and that Diustan Biber is a gay Brazilian singer inspired by Justine Bieber. What's for sure is that Diustan Biber is now a meme. In Brazil.
The Bieber Hate Machine
Many of Justin Bieber's crazy fangirls use Twitter or Tumblr (well try) to ensure that Bieber never finds a girlfriend, despite the fact that he's gay. If, in the event that any woman even dares to pose next to Justin Bieber for a photo or sit near him at an award show, a swarm of angry fangirls across the Internet unleash a shitstorm of even greater epicness than that of Internet Hate Machine itself, bombarding celebrities and even innocent girls with death threats and demands to "LEAVE JUSTIN SINGLE! HE'S MINE!11111111"
But, the real hate comes from that of a black person. Usher (aka Black Hitler) is using JB to wipe out the whites by turning all the young Caucasian females into lesbians. Bieber only hits on the Latin, black and Asian girls in his videos (not in real life), so they [non-white girls] don't need to obsess about Bieber [it's all subliminal] and the white boys now are all hitting on non-whites in real life after watching 'Baby' and over 9,000 other hip hop / rap videos. White girls, they are finding out where Justin is in real life. This is only the beginning of Usher's plan to make Negros the master race in Canada and the United States. Phase II of the Bieber hate machine will occur in 2012, the year all of his fans (now an average of 10 years old) hit puberty and realize they are lesbians. By then Bieber himself will be doing blow with Miley Cyrus while they watch the next tween sensation destroy the rest of what they, Barack Obama, Eminem, and Osama Bin Laden started.
The Kim Kardashian Controversial Story
One day, Justin Bieber pretended that he was straight and tweeted that he was Kim Kardashian's boyfriend, apparently for the lulz, or at least the Justin Bieber equivalent to lulz. Nonetheless, this was a lie. The biggest Justin Bieber fans decided to send death threats and hate mail to Kim, resulting in a big story. This shows that fans of Justin Beaver want nothing more than hot, wet lulz, and that Justin Bieber's one and only true love is Christofer Drew Ingle. She is currently dating Selena Gomez, who was apparently so distressed over Nick Jonas's diabeetus spewing rage that she was scared into becoming a dyke.
Last Thursday, Justin was on a New Zealand TV show for an interview here he was asked "Bieber is German for Basketball. True or false?". While we wouldn’t expect Bieber to know this, we did expect him to know what the word German means. Maybe it was the Kiwi accent? But then Bieber looks at the host’s card and still doesn’t understand the word, saying “We don’t say that in America.” Typical to assume that the host is wrong instead of admitting ignorance.
After the lulz at Bieber’s lack of knowledge, JB claimed on Twitter that he thought the host said “Jewman”, although that doesn't explain why he couldn’t read it on the cue card. This proves that Justin hates Jews, blacks and Germans, which makes him Super Hitler. In another twit post, Justin confirmed that he is a secret satanist and absolutely enjoys being penetrated by his mother's strap on dildo. She slowly slides in and out and makes him eat the chocolate.
Justin Bieber: The Movie
In a recent interview with Teen Vogue Jewstin Bieber announced that he demands a movie of himself documenting his rise to fame.
—Justin Bieber to his Jew Creed. | ||
Sources close to Bieber confirm that the film will be released in individual ten-minute fragments, but the price to see the film will remain close to that of a full-length film. A fully 3D film, dubbed "My World 3.0," will feature 31 minutes of Bieber repeating the word "Baby" in glorious 3D hotness. The totally original plot and story arc of the film is expected to be a huge hit.
Typical Bieber Fans
-
One of her lezbo fangirls trying raep her. Not that anyone cared. -
The first thing they do when they open Photoshop. Now punch it! -
It's like this all day long for his fangirls, only with music. -
Typical batshit insane fangirl -
Some like him for his holocaust denials he has never said
How To Sing Like The Beaver (Ultimate Lulz)
What's funny is this 7 year old douchebag actually looks and sounds more like a man than Bieber
Believe Album
Guys, looks like the cat took another dump and recorded it and called it a CD.
Believe is another release fresh from the armpits of Island Def Jam studios. We will go over her cd one by one:
- All around the world ft. Ludacris - Repeats "All around the world, People want to be loved. All around the world, they're no different than us." Over and over again. Ludacris has a decent verse in here but it isn't his best work.
- Boyfriend - Her grown up version of "baby". Has about as much hate on YouTube. But Overly_Attached_Girlfriend version is better even though her voice is shit, but wants to rape you.
- As Long As You Love Me ft. Big Sean - annoying dubstep song with the annoying chorus "as long as you lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala love me love me" and "we can be starving, we can be homeless, we can be broke". Uh ya... if Selena wasn't rich and famous, you wouldn't date her out of love.
- Take You - an annoying song featuring an autotuned chrous: "I Can take you on, where you wanna go" repeated 6 times ala baby
- Right Here - Keeps repeating "I'm riiiiiiiiiight here". Hmm I wonder where he is
- Catching Feelings - A song about catching AIDS from gay men.
- Fall - A song with a shitty pickup line: Did you know you're an angel who forgot how to fly? moar like: Did you know I suck cock, and will suck yours.
- Die In Your Arms - A decent song by Ariana Grande. Justin stole it from her. What a Jew. [1]
- Though of You - A song about the thought of being with a girlfriend or boyfriend despite him or her not wanting them. The closest Justin or you has ever came to a real relationship.
- Beatuty And A Beat ft. Nicki Minaj - Nicki Minaj did the impossible here. Actually make a Justin Bieber song worse. LOL. She rhymes "Justin Bieber" with "Selener". WTF?
- One Love - Another love song. Basically all she needs is one love. Rip off of Bob Marley's One Love.
- Be Alright - A song that is supposed to make someone feel better when they are down. Tell that to the 6.9 billion Justin Beaver haters.
- Believe - A song about his rising to the top and how his beliebers were always there for him. Uses auto-tune... and you expect us to believe in your sorry ass.
- Out of Town Girl - Basically the same thing as "Runaway Love". That's right. Bieber managed to rip off a Bieber song.
- She Don't Like The Lights - A song about her lesbian girlfriend Selena Gomez who also can't sing yet does not like paparazzi. uhuh sure.
- Maria - Billie Jean ripoff. Michael Jackson is her idol, why rip off your own idol??
Trolling Bieber Fans
The trolling of Justin Bieber fans is like taking A Crack pipe from a crackhead. His fans will get pathetically and embarrassingly butthurt over just about anything you say about Justin Bieber. Justin Bieber has Brainwashed 90% of the female teen / preteen population to make them think that Justin Bieber is the Holy Prophetical God Of Females and will do any thing for his female fans in actuality, He plans to destroy every one of them The following list provides some obvious ways to troll fans.
- Spam any Justin beiber fantards outside their caves with goatse and lemonparty with Justin-shopped heads.
- Fangirls are strangely moral and hate when you swear at them, meaning when you tell them to go ram vibrating dildos up their delicate vagoos they'll probably block you. Now if you have lots of alt accounts they might instead resort to suicide.
- Call him gay and say that he has aids (Because he is and he does.)
- Call him a rapper (Because that's what he is.)
- Say he uses autotune (Because he does.)
- Make note of his age -
1812 (tell them that until he publishes his birth certificate, there is no evidence whatsoever that would cause anybody with half a brain to believe he is 18; point out specifically that he always seems strangely keen to emphasize that he is 18 in interviews, which starts to seem very suspicious after a while) - Tell them mean things about Avalanna - a belieber he donated $300,000 dollars to find a cure for her cancer and it was a result of her listening to the faggot
- Tell them that @BieberLighters should have killed herself [[2]] better yet, send her mean tweets saying she should reconsider suicide
- Tell them he got 2nd place at Stratford Idol and if hes so perfect why not #1
- Praise drake bell for being a hero
- Say rebecca black sings better
- Use his nickname kidrauhl for maximum lulz
- Tell them his believe album still sounds girly. it does
- Take one of his excuses for songs and write a hateful song from it.
- Tell them that he doesn't know who they are and will never notice them.
- Tell them that his manager Scooter Braun really discovered him not on Youtube but fapping on Chatroulette.
- Post a link to Last Measure and tell them it's an awesome Justin Bieber website.
- Tell his fans he's dead.
- Tell his fans that he died from AIDS.
- Make a fag username that Bieber might use, tell them you're him and proceed to troll the fuck out of gullible loli.
- Tell them that Bieber had been castrated before puberty to prevent his voice from deepening.
- Tell them that the reason why he's so short and never hit puberty is because he has AIDS.
- Impersonate as one of his fangirls on chatrooms, and claim that the other fangirl is a poser and fake while insulting Justine Bieber.
- Tell any member(s) of his twelve year old girl fan-base that he's a confirmed homosexual. (enjoy mass an hero)
- Hours worth of easy trolling here. Warning, mods will get butthurt if you mention anything that they don't agree with and you will be banished.
- Keep unbanning yourself from Justin Bieber chats.
- Post this on a fan forum: "Last week Justin Bieber collapsed at a party, and had to have his stomach pumped. They extracted more than a gallon of semen, I swear to god it's true."
- Post this on a fan forum: "Last night Justine Beaver confirmed on her twitter account that she will have her first baby. She also said that she can't go to any concerts for a while due to her pregnancy. She also claims that Usher is the father. They have a wedding planned sometime in 2012. I swear to god it's true."
- Make sure to let them know that Bieber is actually a population control tool. What the young female fans don't realize is that they are subliminally sexually attracted to Bieber because of his feminine characteristics, his hair (styled like many women), his voice (sounds like a girl) and his clothes are something only a woman or a skater fag would pick out. THEY ARE TRYING TO STOP YOU WHITE KIDS FROM PROCREATING. This affects the young male as well, because now he thinks he must emulate Bieber in order to look attractive in the now lesbian female's eyes. Thus JB is turning an entire generation into gays and lesbians just like NSYNC did a decade ago.
- Tell them you're Justin Bieber's girlfriend [3]
- Link them to this page [4]
- Here too.
- And here
- and here also Actually one made by trolls for the sole purpose of trolling but should be worth some lulz.
- [5][6] Link them to these two videos
- Tell them their hero is married to herself.
- Tell them Justine Bieber is Jewish.
- Convince Them You're Justin Bieber and That You're Gay.
- Unfortunately, sites like this one don't revolve much around our beloved Justine. You may instead just want to try disgusting them with comments such as: 'I like to anally rape little girls and watch them die slowly in a pool of blood, shit and cum, as I fuck them till I burst their little ovaries' If you do hear Justin mentioned, however, troll to your blackened heart's content.
- Try [7] for best trolling. The 10 year olds you are likely to find here are completely naive to any form of trolling, and subtlety is not a requirement at all. Getting those sweet, sweet angry responses is as easy as:
-Ctrl C+ Enter -Ctrl V + enter (repeat quickly and do many times) using comments like 'OMG RIP justin beiber died of AIDS!!1! Jewstin Beaver 2000-2012!' If there is a mod online, this will get you banned pretty quickly, but should get at least 4-5 'STFU OMG!!11' 'Sum 1 ban him!!1' comments. If you're lucky, you'll find a troll mod, who will keep unbanning you so you can cause mass an hero, and will give you the closest feeling to having friends you will ever be likely to have.
Also, if one of the other contributors sends you a caps locked or attempted sarcastic message telling you how you have no life or friends, calmly point out the irony in a belieber telling somebody else they have no friends or life. If the target in question is above the age of 12 and understands such concepts, a lulzworthy response should ensue. Otherwise, enjoy the flood of '?'s and 'wht?'s and the following attempts to understand what you mean, which, given the interesting nature of your average bieberfag's thinking skills, may prove to be equally lulzy.
- Tell his fans he's not a true modern musician, because he gets an orgasm from preaching about morals and 'inspirational' teen shit, hasn't been exposed as a drug addict, alcoholic or pedophile and doesn't own a zoo full of exotic animals. Then tell them that one of his fans, Mariah Yeater, in a rare example of intelligence (unheard of for a belieber) realized this and tried to start a 'pregnancy' scandal to get moar attention for her Messiah. If this doesn't work, tell them that by disagreeing to the fact that Justin Bieber is fake, they are comparable to Mariah Yeater herself. A lot of shit will the fan; you'll see why.
- A less obvious (but equally effective) way to troll his fans is to mistake him for a woman. If ever somebody were to mention good ol' JB in your presence, kindly remind the fan that her name is "Justine Bieber". For further trolling, question the sexuality of her fans, stating that they must all be lesbians for her. Also be sure to mention that Justine is bisexual, since she's had her tongue in Kim Kardashian's cunt while taking big black cock from behind. This practice works equally well in real life as it does on the internet. Be warned though, as Justine's fans are reputed for their animosity, and will more than likely sodomize you with a broom handle for such comments. How to troll Justin Bieber fans in one link.
1. Give a link to the Offended page here and claim it's a Justin bieber fan page. 2. Shit talk and flood his chat room with offensive messages and you can add shock pictures too with it. (I recommend you add lemonparty, or even better, add tubgirl) 3. ??? 4. PROFIT!!!
#BaldForBieber
- See also: #Cut4Bieber
During October 26th of 2012, 4chan organised possibly one of the greatest trolling incidents of the century. It seems like recently 4-chan have been up to something actually useful for once. The essence of this epic troll can be summed up with one image:
The website when the news was first shat from the arse from 4chan. Fangirls creamed their pants as they took action from shaving their heads.
The website after a few hours of false Beiber faggottry. As a result, 4chan would frame 9gag for this controversy and people would actually believe it.
Results of successful trolling
"This is getting Fu*king old!!!!!! If like half of you dont even like @justinbieber then how come your watching his videos and searching for him all day and watching him? thats what i thought! SHUT THE FU*K UP IF YOU DONT LIKE HIM AND STOP FU*KING SEARCHING FOR HIM! you do know that the more you fu*king search him the more famous he gets, so technically your helping him get his fame and e where he is today! so i should really be saying thank you to all the fu*king fags who dont like Justin Bieber! HELL NO!! Your the ones that are searching him all day then taking whatever you find and turning it into some kind of... i dont know, something... and its annoying! now your probably like 'well you and a bunch of other people search him too, why isnt that a problem?' BECAUSE WERE FU*KING FANS! we have the right to!we dont take everything we find and make fun of it and talk sh*t about it! when he cries... we, us #belieber s cry... you fags just point your scrony little fingers and laugh! when he gets hurt... we, THE BELIEBERS feel badand what do you guys do? POINT AND LAUGH!!! i would like to see everyone of you that doesnt support Justin do better! i would like to see you become as famous as he is and have as many girls OR guys druling over you! i would like to see you make it at least a week without letting the fame get to your head! and i bet you, even if ANY of you tried to do atleast the first 3, you all would fail! and let me tell you, you would have most likly (unless their family ...maybe)NO BELIEBERS on your side supporting you because you didnt support who we like and care about! you talked sh*t about him! and if you say 'i dont care if any 'beliebers' arent on my side!' let me just refresh your memory... THE BELIEBERS ARE MORE THAN HALF THE FU*KING WORLD DUMBSH*T!!!!!!!!!!" --@ItsCheyCheyBaby
Unbanning yourself from Justin Bieber chats
To unban yourself from Justin Bieber chats, right click on chat window, select settings, click on folder, move the slider to the left, confirm, then reset your modem or use proxy. Happy trolling!
Defy the Banhammer:
- 1. Follow above instructions.
- 2. Use a proxy, make sure the IP is unique to previous bans.
- 3. For XP/Vista/Win7: Go to %Appdata%\Macromedia\Flash Player\macromedia.com\support\flashplayer\sys\#www.xatech.com
- 4. Two options: Delete this folder, or open the file in notepad and add this onto the end.
- @Y
(Copy line) then save. Should resemble:
¿ NTCSO � �www.xatech.com/settings �allow� �always� �klimit @Y
- 5. It may be a good idea to clear browser history too.
- 6. Reconnect. If everything works right, this will get you back into the JB chat. It can even get past being "banished"
- 7. Recount undermining the banhammer for lulz. If banned, repeat.
- 8. Requires a bit of persistence.
JustinBieber.org is a forum for Bieberfags to participate in the same Bieber shit they do on Facebook, YouTube, etc. However, this forum provides the faggots with a section to post fanfiction about Bieber. This being said, it is aweful. The forum currently has no troll and requires much more. All accounts have to be approved by a mod before they are activated, so try to make them look real.
Controversy
Some argue that this is just another cynical, lame marketing ploy by the money grubbing Jews who run the music business to sell sex to underage girls and that the overt sexuality in Bieber's 'music', videos and carefully crafted image is totally inappropriate for impressionable teens who shouldn't be thinking about stuff like Canada's History until they at least reach puberty. Meanwhile, black people are butthurt that white people are perpetuating the rape of their cultural heritage as they've been doing since Elvis Presley. That is to say, no worse than anything else white people do anyway. Other than the fact that Justin Beaver pretends to have a penis in his videos, and does a very good job at it. PS: He is the most faggot person ever existed, and he should die in the black flames of anti-fag hell.. just sayin'.
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Justin Bieber Trolling
Justin Bieber gets hit by a water bottle
Anonymous bought a ticket to her concert and threw a water bottle as a point of disgust. It should have been a grenade. In which case, please point to the video below.
JB is a cunt
On 18 March 2010, Justin Beaver visited London, only to find a huge crowd of retarded fangirls waiting for him. Somewhere in this crowd was this Facepunch forum member [8] waiting eagerly to see Justin. On a piece of paper he wrote Justin... Cunt!, to piss Justin off. He showed him this paper, but got no response at first. Eventually Justin saw it, and since he agrees on being a cunt, he signed it. But the fangirls saw this too. Massive butthurt was caused, since many of them didn't get his sexy autograph, and the guy had to run since the prepubescent girls wanted to hurt him. In the event he has injured his hand. In this video, you can see the paper being signed in the beginning. Notice the huge amount of pissed girls when he was leaving at the end of the video.
—Justine Bieber being a fucking dumbass rapper |
BREAKING NEWS - JUSTIN BIEBER IS A PEDOPHILE!!!!
JUSTINE IS A DADDY?! NO FUCKING WAY
|
Special News Bulletin: WHAA? JUSTIN GOT MOLESTED BY AN OLDER FAN AND SHE NAO DEMANDS THAT HE PAYS CHILD SUPPORT FOR THE BABY THAT COULD BE HIS? WHAT'S THIS, THE MAURY SHOW? |
Moar info: Mariah Yeater.
Recently a scandal broke out when a pedo, cleverly disguised as one of Justine's fans, claimed that last summer Bieber met up with her in the backstage toilet (lol George Michael) during one of his concerts and there made violent dirty little no nos that no devout christian would ever do without the Pope's sacred seal of approval-- which reportedly lasted exactly 30 seconds. Now the MySpace mugger is "pursuing a modest and rightful claim" by accusing poor Bieber that her child is indeed her his spawn and that he'll have to pay for child support OR ELSE in a very modest manner. The very thought that Justin successfully procreated is impossible because that would mean that:
- Justin Bieber reached puberty.
- Justin Bieber has a penis.
- Justin is NOT a lesbian in hiding.
- If Bieber could get laid then so can you, which is also impossible.
- At one point in his life, Justin Bieber got some pussy, whilst you still haven't. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-
—Bieber, surpisingly not giving a fuck. |
—Justin Bieber, ever the drama queen. |
—OH TEH IRONY |
—Especially not that crazy hoe that insists that I'm her baby oooohs daddy over there. |
Of course, this enraged Bieber's personal army of fangirls (who didn't get the chance to pork him themselves) for having their idol's squeaky clean image smashed by a 20 year old something who seems to be pretty cool about the possibility of going to prison for deflowering Justin's tender beaver at such a young age. They acted surprisingly mature at the situation and demanded direct explainations from the pedo in question in a very calm and polite manner. They also requested that Yeater should fuck off and die for being such a wonderful person.
—Brace yourselves. This is only gonna get worse. | ||
Previous Quote | Next Quote
Bieber fans (or Beliebers) are also considering if they should forgive Justin if all of this chaos turns out to be true. But ONLY if it's proven to be false.
—Someone need a better hobby. And a real religion. |
One thing is for sure. If Bieber does in fact turn out to be the father of the child, considering how much the boring twat preached about how sex before marriage is totally not cool in every one of his concerts, Justine's dectractors will have a field trip with these events and will definitely go all medieval on her sparkly transgender ass. Too bad this will definitely not be for realz, considering Yeater's claims sound too much like a summary of a typical JustinxOC fanfic. And that she already tried to do the same gig with her ex-boyfriend and got bitchslapped for her efforts. Chances that this story is the real deal are 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001%. Unfortunately.
Justine's failed trolling
During October, Bieber decided she wanted even moar girls to view her upcoming music video with Nicki Minaj. Due to her fanbase already at its highest, Bieber decided she must resort to more evil doing in order to gain even more video hits!!! *gasp*. Bieber with her team of Jewish eggheads and serial rapists, decided the only way he could get moar views, was to make people think they're WEREN'T going to be listening to 3 and a half minutes of audio buttsecks.
Bieber decided to pretend that he had his personal computer stolen, and even made her fans believe this by posting about it himself. Causing major butthurt in the Belieber fan base and media frenzy, Bieber sat in his fancy chair with a big ol' grin on his face. HOWEVER, much to the backfire of Bieber's trickery, other trolls decided to use this opportunity to spread around an alleged 'NOODZ' pic of Bieber.
Bieber was surely saddened by this, as she had now dug herself into a ditch :( Meanwhile, in the city of fangirls, major flood warnings were issued due and sales in cucumbers skyrocketed. Bieber's dumb attempt at trolling had surely backfired on him and now people thought they were getting a load of Bieber peen. However, simple observational science will show you that Bieber clearly lacks a penis, how insensitive.
SPOILER ALERT!
Using a fake account, Justine pretended to be the person who allegedly stole his computer (original much), and posted numerous tweets threatening to expose Bieber. Amazingly, no-one thought to track the IP address, so huh. Anywayz, the 'thief' (Justine) threatened to post an exposing video of Bieber, which everyone assumed to be porn, tst tst. Moms across the globe became enraged at the thought of their darling ten year old daughters getting an eyeful of wang, but soon became lured to the wang of the almighty lesbian themselves.
The whole fiasco ended up being a imbecilic way for Justine to promote her shit music video, much to the disappointment of the Belieber fanbase, who just continued sucking off their Bieber blow up dolls with tears rolling down their face. Bieber gained nothing except potential embarrassment from the whole scenario, so no profit was earned.
Baby baby song stolen from Asians
Given to us by a weeaboo informer wearing a raincoat and chainsmoking in a garage.
On July 4th 2010 Justin Bieber died in an horrific car accident while driving stoned and drunk on tour in Texas. Thanks to Anon anyone attempting to view a Justine Bieber vidya on YouTube was informed that Justine had died and they should check CNN for details. In addition, Biebians were also redirected to pr0n sites and advised to delete System32 to deal with their grief. The Twitterverse went nuts and Justine's ghost was forced to deny the rumour [9].
It didn't take long for Justine to die again, this time dying of chlamydia after attending an homosexual tween orgy.
After rising from the dead shortly afterwards, he died again in late September 2010 during a 113º heatwave in helLA when his mother left him in the car without the windows cracked when she went shopping. And after rising yet again in 2012, Justin went for a stroll and got killed by David Caruso's team simply for being a massive faggot.
Gallery
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Mother Fucking Owned Faggot -
A glimpse of the pretty cool guy who shot the faggot. -
Even the news mistake him for a girl. -
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Looking totally straight and intelligent there Justin. -
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Lesbo chicks dig Justine. -
She finally found herself a man. Too bad it's a nigger. -
u jelly ladies? -
Even Google thinks Justine is an ugly, stupid, girly gay baby. -
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If Justin Bieber was a nigger -
Heeere's Justin! -
Justin and his fans. Look how happy they are for being at the presence of their messiah. -
A leaked photo of Justine who's about to comb her god awful hair. -
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All grown up yet still adorable.
See Also
- Almost rapped
- Beastie Boys
- Bieberisafag
- Bill Kaulitz
- Britney Spears
- cut4bieber
- Eminem
- EricDouglace
- Faggot
- Greyson Chance
- Internet Celebrity
- Jared Milton
- Jonas Brothers
- Justin Bieber: A boy forever
- Mandaswaggie
- Mariah Yeater "He's my babydaddy!"
- Miley Cyrus
- NeverShoutNever!
- SEND JUSTIN BIEBER TO NORTH KOREA (fgt won't go cuz Justin Bieber Hates Koreans)
- Ytask
Don't EVAR See
External Links
- get some fappable videos for trolling groups in the favorites section
- posting clips of content found here in the video response section of justin bieber baby causes his male fans to jizz uncontrollably and his female fans to have an overwhelming urge to finger themselves
- A true account of Justin Bieber's last date with Selena Gomez
- Fan Site
- OMG ON TWITTER!! <3
- OMG ON YOUTUBE!! <3
- OMG ON YOUTUBE AGAIN!! <3
- OMG ON MYSPACE!! <3
- OMG ON FACEBOOK!! <3
- Fansite
- Chat room
- Lesbians that look like Justin Bieber
- Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber Facebook
- Justine's Bio at manager Scooter Braun's site
- Scooter's twitter where you can see man/boy love in 140 characters or less
- Justine gets kicked underage b& from an r-rated movie, then complains cause it's not Chuck E Cheese.
- How many Justine Biebers could you take in a fight?
- another fan chat. STILL FRESH!!!11
- Engadget shows its support for faggotry
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Justin Bieber is part of a series on Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage. |
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Justin Bieber is part of a series on Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
 Justin Bieber is part of a series on articles which are the subject of retarded edit wars |
Beware all ye who tread here Atheist • Ape • AQ Worlds • Black Jesus • Christian • Chimp • |
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| Featured article March 2 & 3, 2012 | ||
| Preceded by Anarchy |
Justin Bieber | Succeeded by Wales |