Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.

Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

2009: Difference between revisions

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
← Older editNewer edit →
imported>JuniusThaddeus
noinclude.
imported>JuniusThaddeus
noinclude.
(No difference)

Revision as of 13:44, 9 December 2014

YEAH

2009 has been yet another banner year that has blessed us with some of the more notable internet happenings that you have come to expect from this wonderful medium that we choose to exploit and use. The usual gang of internet nerds, retards, and angry mobsters have outdone themselves once again and have made 2009 an unexpectedly grand year in lulz. Folks like crusader cat have offered us a chance to brighten our days with laughter, while memes such as Zalgo have given us a pause where we might reflect upon the fact that this internet thing is quite silly, and finally, the Dan Lirette story taught us that babies only die when you kick them in the head.

But that's not all — 2009 showed us the softer side of the internet as well. Heartwarming tales such as Kenny Glenn, Cheyenne Cherry, Camille Marino, DracoGuard, and Esachasa displayed mankind's ever-open heart, sympathy, and his ability to show compassion for his fellow animals.

And that's not all! Encyclopedia Dramatica also showcased several misfortunes that senselessly deprived us of our beloved entertainers. Massive buttgrief and sorrow was expended upon the deaths of Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, Billy Mays, Patrick Swayze, and Ted Kennedy.

There have been some good irl trolls as well, the biggest being Tony48219, but let's not forget the most spectacular troll of all: the fact that Encyclopedia Dramatica turned 5 this year despite all of its detractors, skeptics, haters, and doubters. During the festivities P-p-p-powerbook! won the contest for best article ever, upsetting Chris-chan. And on top of all of this internet hoopla, ED got its own forum, which would make it a tradition to destroy itself once a week.

Once again, the most important thing to know before reading this article is that Fred Bauder cannot practice law in the state of Colorado due to soliciting a client's wife for prostitution.

Drama and events from 2009

Video

January

The face that launched 1,000,000 shit brix.
Man covers himself in pubes of others. TAKE THAT, SCIENTOLOGY!
  • Boxxy takes over the internets.
All it took was a 16-year old girl to pull apart the fine fabric of insanity that is /b/.
I DON'T SEE WHAT'S SO GOD DAMN FUNNY
And ur butt.
Psychiatrists immediately blamed
A very extreme video
Good night, sweet meme.
Lol 114-1 vote
  • The Dangerous Pictures Act comes into force on the 26th of this month, bricks are shat by many Britfags
Especially those with Goatse as their Windows backdrop.

February

Nevar Fucking Forget
Cross-dressing, animal torturing, mentally unbalanced, rageaholic faggot who will never forget your slander and will have his/her revenge.
  • ED:Upgrade 2009
Encyclopedia Dramatica was read only for 24ish hours as we went from web 1.0 to 2.5. ED is slow is now old meme.
Brits rejoice with plentiful amounts of sodomy.
When it came to 4chan's attention that some loser dipshit was abusing a cat, it took the internet superheroes less than 24 hours for to identify, locate and dispatch the Party Van.
  • Octomom makes a website begging for moeny.
Oh, and we found out that she was unemployed, uneducated, and wanted to look like Angelina Jolie.
February started with a bang of lulz when a Comcast employee in the Phoenix area decided the game needed to be livened up a bit, with cock.
Gamerfags given the chance to go outside; too bad they all just played some other mmo.
What have we learned here? Chimps are not people too. They are psychopathic killing machines that will eat your face if you change your hairstyle.
You'll be saying lol every time.
  • Xzibit gets sick of being a meme
Throws a fit on twitter.

March

Sup dawg we heard you like to whine like a bitch.
PRETTY TOUGH FOR SOMEONE NAMED INTERNET HATE MACHINE
/b/'s newest camwhore. Instead of posting tits, this one posts eggs.
Encyclopedia Dramatica, in a moment of insanity, re-opened the "kiddie pool" on the IRC server...lulz ensued.
A terribly embarrassing commercial for an anime convention turns into annoying internet sensation.
Her most notable act.
Eat your heart out, Chris Hansen; this guy not only hunts pedophiles, he does something about it.
Men's prison. Not little girl's prison.
2004: A girl gets tricked into stripping nude and giving an old guy a BJ in a McDonald's back room, caught on security camera. The man is eventually arrested and sued for the event. 2009: Uncensored video footage of said event leaks on to 4chan. The internet collectively orgasms.
Many Norton product users have been discovering a file called Norton_PIFTS 3-9-2009 19h29m27s.txt sitting in their computer's C:\temp folder.
A bat hitches a ride on the Discovery, quits irl.
I'm starting to accept my babby did do some bad things, I am very sorry for his actions, it wasn't the first time he did this.
300 pt. 2 in internet popularity.

April

Tony48219 becomes the first YouTube an hero
He is here to preach the word of God, promote the music of My Chemical Romance, and let you know that HE IS NOT GAY!!!11!11!1
Nevar forget.
Has a fellatable neck.
HOLY SHIT EVERYONE IS GOING TO DIE!!!1
Do you like beards? Do you want to throw your hot dog down a hallway? Of course you do. Just make sure you have plenty of cash.
Apparently, retards have feelings, and every time you use the word "retard", you make them feel sad inside and... well... retarded.
Proving, once again, the absolute power of b when they have their panties in a knot, someone finally decided to wage war against annoying telemarketers.
Possible winner of the Golden iPod award.
RIP internet's first namecat.
Z͉̙̊͠A͇͈̳̹̤͊̅̐ͤ̎͋̚͘L͂̀̚G̺͎̮̟̽̒͗ͫ̿̌O̪͔͇̜̩͎̪͗ͥ̓́̀ͥ ̦̲̫̘̊̒̿̃i̦̼̻ͣͥ̕s̤͚̺̻̻̮̭̆ ͤ̂҉͚̭̪̘̣͍̙c̴͙̃̐ͣͨ̈́ô͍͈̜̣̺̎̃͌́ͅͅm͈̭͔̦̮̩͇̓̒̅̒̽͞iͦ̀n̲͈̝̹̺͕ͮğͯ͂ͫ ̫̭ͩ͠t̲̻̳̗͑o͆͑͌̿̔ ͟r͍̦͎̳͇͈̱̆̔ͦ̊ͭ͗̌u̼͒ͫ́̾̐ͨ͠i̥̩͙̖ͣͫ̂̄͛͌͘ṉ̬̀̌ͤͥ̓̍̑͜ ̥̥̠̦͇̹ͨ͛ͨ͗y͕̝̫͓̭͈͒ͨ̅͛̔ͅo̱̝̟̼̺̻ͨͨ͗̌͝u̙̜ͬͪr͙̗̪̟͔̞̭͒ ͇͕̬̝̃̓͒̏̽͘ͅͅt̨̹̟͍̫e̫̲̯̒ẍ̪͖̑́̓̏t̺̹ͪͯ̉ͮ̎s͌ͬ̓̃ ̟ͯͨ̃̀ͬ̚̚̕a̟̞͚̮̻ͮ̿́̋̅̂̚͢n͉̈́d͎͉́̇ͯ̊ͣ͗ ̡̝̘̯͙͚͍̔͊̈̍ͨb̹̱͈̦͓̲͒ͩͤ̆ͭͯ̆l̔a̅ͣ͝cͣ̄ͭk̠̞ę̝̖̫̦̗͛́͂̉ṋ̥̓̀ ̗̱͎͕̉̅̂̀ͩ͒ͫu͙͖̱͚ͥ̉̓̓́́p̠̖̜̺̳͓̄ ̗͈̩̪̲͂̽͌͐͒͜y͚ͫͨ͗ͤo͚̜uͨ҉̻͉̫͉̬͚̯r̭̩̫͉̘ͪ̈́̃̀̋̈́́̚ ͮͤ͌̿ͬ̊̕p͈̥̰̖͒̍̊̉i̷̐̍͊̈̀̾́c̢͉̣͈͎̤s̳̤̱̲̜͍̍ͮͥ̚͡.̴͎̻͎̮͔́
  • ED is mentioned in a leaked government document "2009 Virginia Terrorism Threat Assessment" (on Slashdot)

May

Oh god put that away
And getting second on a top rated reality show
goes
Casualfags win
And If you EVER criticize anything on his profile, he will throw a shit fit and threaten to kill and rape you.
A mass upload of porn onto YouTube with tags such as MarbleCake, Jonas Brothers, and Hannah Montana. YouTube admins got really pissed off, lulz were had on a scale that surpassed 9,000, and Rules 1 and 2 were broken on several occasions by trolls and newfags, several of which were interviewed by the BBC.
The goons at Something Awful uncover a story rife with deceit, hypocrisy, and illicit affairs: that of Myah Walker, Dan Lirette, and their braindead lovechild.
  • Cracked article cites and quotes multiple ED articles as part of a review of of five wikis other than TOW. link
Lol, Metapedia

June

No, no it's not
Now he can reenact Thriller!
Kazantzakis with an excellent piece of eJournalism
Like City-glitter 2.0, but this time trolling Fundies instead of Animal Rights fags.
back after the whole Vanguard drama-fest.
Gets ruined by anonymous
gets exposed as a dogfucker.
But he would later pop up on EDF and claim he learned better.
2009 showing a trend of gamers becoming more and more annoying
The grim reaper showed up and he's pissed.
But The Perfect Drug was fucking awesome dude.
Haters gonna hate
Now your irl friends can learn about ED stuff without being grossed out.

July

It's just a fun thing, really
Baww
Millions had to use normal porn sites.
Looks forward to talking about shits
wtf?
Another success story!
Botched contest makes for one of the best pages on ED.
Thousands of nerds cry
I AM NOT IAN BRANDON SOMETHING

August

Oh wow
Fritzl 2.0
Be afraid.
Like, holy shit.
Hates cyberbullying
  • Ted Kennedy dies from brain cancer
thus continuing the family tradition of HNNNNNNGGGGG.

September

He loves bowlcuts so much even his fursuit has a bowlcut.
Too bad it's a boring grindfest, also released with Fallen Earth and Champions Online.
Decides ED is the number one obstacle on the path to animal rights.
Becomes top selling shirt in the lollershop, only really long lasting meme on EDF to date.
HAHAHA
Yo 2009, I'm real happy for you, but 2007 had some of the best lolcows of all time. OF ALL TIME!
Bobby Hill lol
  • Patrick Swayze also HNNNNNNGGGGGs from cancer.
I love 2009
Got a free ice cream cone as 1000th customer.
"Extreme faggotry is not allowed on ED, unless I approve of it of course. And by the way, sysops can't be banned ^__^ "

October

HAHAHA
Can you source this claim?
Blind EverQuest II player can't see game, sues SOE
Responds with "I did it for the lulz" as a motive
Half of America stops and stares at a silver balloon as they get fuckin' owned by a 6 year old troll
DMCAing parody images. Nice perjury dude.
Oh god, Conservatives are learning how to use youtube.
  • Evony, plagiarism now My Lord
Bruce Everiss sued in a country he's never been to.
It's weird how often pedos with articles on ED get jailed, isn't it?
  • Obama wins the Most useless Nobel Peace Prize for no fucking reason.
At least Al Gore had a god damn PowerPoint.
Quest to find the greatest article in the history of ED.
  • Rifqa Bary runs off to florida to escape the evil clutches of her Muslim dad
she's imagining everything
But he's such a good director!!
You'd hate God too if you looked like this

November

oic
Chans getting vanned for CP is always funny
BAI AERALIK!
WEEB!
Leaked to EQ2Flames - and a year's worth of his work shitcanned by other devs!
NUH-UH! ONLY PC'S GET VIRII
It's not prostituting if it's just oral!
The ghost of 12chan incurred again.
Arab massacres 13 soldiers. New high score on nightmare mode!
I guess
People care about baseball again, proving hate motivates.
Omg niggies are the best thing ever.
This man/woman/bunny is seriously fucked up.

December

Powerbook, staying classy.
We made it five years? What!
  • Amanda Knox gets sentenced to 26 years of lesbian prison sex on tape.
BEING A SLUT IS NOT A CRIME
Make fun of L Ron, get money.
CBS trolls millions
Suck it, CWC fanboys.
Surprisingly, it wasn't a cock.
HOT~
  • Silvio Berlusconi
Smack That
After Bill Clinton did it, it became kinda old meme
Eight months of animal abuse all wrapped up!

See also

Dramatic Years
Preceded by
2008 		2009 Succeeded by
2010
Featured article December 31, 2009
Preceded by
Chanology Contest 		2009 Succeeded by
Food Not Bombs
2009
is part of a series on


The History of Encyclopedia Dramatica
[Seal ThemOpen the Records]

Retrieved from "https://edramatica.com/index.php?title=2009&oldid=195369"