BBC

Who needs satire?

The most exciting hawt programme the BBC has & will ever broadcast

Creepy loli clown of an old BBC show.

The BBC (Billionaire Boys Club, Bullshit Babbling Cunts or the Israeli Ministry Of Propaganda) is a pure evil old media news corporation that every Britfag with a colour TV is forced to pay an annual fee for through a TV licence regardless of whether they use/watch it or like/agree with what it puts out. The Britfag government and the proles who support it justify this bullshit by claiming the BBC is impartial. Many Britfags also consider the BBC to be a source of national pride. Despite supposedly being a British organisation, former Director General Mark Thompson has a Jewish wife, and made trips to Israel to meet blood-drinking lizard Ariel Sharon and suck his circumsized cock, assuring him that the BBC would have a pro-Zionist bias and refuse to broadcast any humanitarian appeals if The Kike Reich massacred some more Palestinians in Gaza. Also, the BBC news has covered Rickrolling with pictures of PROJECT CHANOLOGY.

The headlines

The BBC was founded at least 100 years ago by a branch of the British General Post Office, in order to broadcast propaganda to the entire world via the medium of impartial journalism and carefully edited headlines. The annual license fee system that has sustained the corporation since its inception has started to break down since the sheeple discovering streamed online content ironically hosted by the beeb and private media interests who greedily eyed valuable assets and so the upper management pissed its self, backed away from anything that might cause controversy and instead start broadcasting ballroom dancing, celebrity wife-swap and the national lottery 5 days a week.

It has long been thought that the BBC has an anti American bias. This is true, as reporting Uncle Sam's latest [1] atrocity [2] is clearly "anti-meerican." And pissy chavs wonder why the rest of Europe hates us.

In the documentary "wow, aren't Americans fucking stupid" the BBC did not actually insult the USA, they just used one of our 2 million words for cold on the cob to confound the undesirables.

ITV

ITV came on the scene as a credible commercial alternative to the BBC but quickly degenerated into piss poor dumbed down content complete with freak shows, property development guides and "I'm a non-celebrity get me a career!". Naturally only the poorest people watch ITV as all its programs tend to edge toward the "chav" demographic. This is to be expected as ITV's hometown, Manchester is 90% Chav and 10% fail whilst the BBC was born in glorious London during the heyday of Empire and Monarchy.

Programming

The BBC broadcast a lot of shit nobody cares about but Britfags happen to watch it anyway for the sake of fuck knows what.

• Doctor Who
• Torchwood (Doctor Who spin off/rip off)
• Holby City
• The Mighty Boosh
• Lemonparty
• Monkey Dust
• The IT Crowd That's Channel 4, dipshit.
• Sherlock

And plently more shit. Also before programmes begin they would often show of their crappy little logos in the shape of a circle to represent a cock ring along with some bitchass continuity announcer.

The only thing good to watch from the shit BBC is the news because you get to watch people being killed =D

OMG BIAS

In 2004 Fox News' presenter John Gibson opined in an op-ed piece that the BBC, despite being government-bound to appear neutral, had a "frothing at the mouth" anti-American bias, and that its presenters called on Iraqi forces to fight US troops-both of these things being quoted, apparently, from a government report. The fact that this is clearly complete bullshit on every level and that the report in question did not say anything even close to this did not faze Gibson, who proceeded to go and pray outside the nearest abortion clinic.

On that note the only thing the BBC like about America is OBAMA and want his dick rammed up their ass. HAHA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS

New 2.oh webshite

Recently the BBC has decided that it must change its website from an easily readable sensibly organized one into a 16 year old girl's myspace page. It gives no reason for the change other than "The website hasn't changed for 4 years, it needed a lick of paint.". Due to their epic failure the beta website looks like it was designed by Apple in association with a gay pride parade.

The website now has the following 2.oh features:

• Overuse of the color blue.
• Less content but more blank space between things.
• ALLCAPS.
• Size 18 text.
• Round corners (right angles are soooo 1-point-oh).
• Reporter blogs! Stay tuned to my Weblog!! Your source for news!! How did this happen I am bad with computer.
• A fuckin stupid analogue clock that distracts you when you already have a clock in your task bar (digital clocks are soooo 1-point-oh and not nearly hi technicaaaaal enough).
• Customisable layout that you'll have to go though 5 minutes setting up again every time you clean your cookies so you don't get London's news and weather on the page fagging the place up.
• Clashing links that change color to draw your interest to other links that may interest you when you click one. This doesn't actually work though as a load of sport headlines try to draw attention to themselves if you click on a link to a comedy program.

All this is probably really impressive if you live in Kensington, own an iPhone, drink your own piss and include your Aga as a family member when filling in your census forms.

In a bid to appeal to a broader audience, the BBC is considering changing it's name to the British Bumfuckers Club. A position statement is expected to be issued shortly.

Auntie Beeb and Uncle Jim

BBC is part of the kiddie-sex scandal... Jim'll Fix It! Jimmy Savile • Operation Yewtree • BBC • Jim Davidson • Gary Glitter • Rolf Harris • Jonathan King • Dr Fox • Rape Womble • Operation Fairbridge • Greville Janner • Cyril Smith • Margaret Thatcher• Madeleine McCann • Australia • Zionist Jews British CSA Inquiry

Another victim comes forward.

One affair more than most has sent reverberations shock-waving through the corporation, and that is the not unlarge matter of the place being used as a paedo pick-n-mix store by the legendary Jimmy "Jim'll" Savile.

The old perve ruled the airwaves for several decades, fronting some of the BBC's most popular youth shows. Which is odd, because -- while it is a strange fact that no-one will ever admit to voting for three-term Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher -- if you speak to any Briton who was alive during his reign of terror, they will say as one that they always found Savile creepy, repulsive, slimy and not even the slightest bit entertaining. Nevertheless, despite these handicaps, which might have proved an impediment to a career in broadcasting for a lesser mortal, Jim'll's crazed wrinkly old face could be found leering into living-rooms the length of the nation for decades. Why? It is a mystery.

TOTP

Between 1964 and 1984 Savile was Grand Emperor and instantly-recognised face of Top of The Pops, a popular weekly televised countdown of the latest 'Top 10' musical releases, daddy-o. Making him sort of the British version of Dick Clark.

The old charmer filmed pinching a girl's ass live on air and obviously not giving a fuck

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And here's a hilarious audio recording of Savile backstage with a delighted young fan...

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Not even porky Colleen Nolan is safe from our Jim'll's warmest affections!

	“	I felt his fingers go towards my bottom. It was disgusting... He just laughed and carried on mauling me while talking to the camera.	„
	—Sylvia Edwards on her visit to a recording of Top of The Pops in 1976

It is alleged that throughout his tenure as host Jim'll preyed upon teenaged members of the studio-audience and witnesses now claim that he was the head of an "inner circle" of abusers, a number being members of the production team, including a camera-man.

	“	All the evidence we are hearing points that way.	„
	— Jon Bird of The National Association for People Abused in Childhood

	“	One woman, who used to be a dancer, says there were at least three members of backstage staff at Top of the Pops who used to take young girls to parties, where horrific and inappropriate things took place.	„
	— Jon Bird of The National Association for People Abused in Childhood

	“	We also heard an allegation about one of the cameramen.	„
	— Jon Bird of The National Association for People Abused in Childhood

Previous Quote | Next Quote

Clunk Click

Following the success of Top of The Pops, another show fronted by Savile was commissioned: Clunk Click, in which Savile interviewed loads of his bezzie mates, including old dinosaur pop stars that you've never heard of and the occasional "celebrity politician" such as Cyril Smith, while all the time surrounded by a handpicked bevy of teenage lovelies.

Savile invites a certain other well-known pedo to sample two of his audience.

(The above clip achieved national importance later: See Freddy Starr for details).

The title Clunk Click was a reference to "Clunk, Click, Every Trip", which was the catchphrase of a then-famous TV advert campaign about public safety, in which Savvo reminded viewers to fasten their seatbelts while travelling by car. Because obviously the title of a primetime light entertainment show for kids should be a reminder of possible injury and/or death and Jimmy would personally have cried his eyes out if he knew a young child had tragically ended up in a hospital mortuary.

Jim'll Fix It

Now then, now then, you know you want this medallion, don'tcher, kiddies? Bend over for Uncle Jim'll...

Jim'll Fix It was a television programme conceived by the enterprising Jimmy as a convenient way of enabling him to contact supple young lolis and shotas in the days before the advent of chatrooms and Habbo Hotel. Every week, because there was literally nothing better to do, hundreds of thousands of children from all over the country would send in letters to the show, asking if Jim would 'fix it' for their wishes to come true.

This programme was about as boring as it sounds with kids wanting to meet their favorite celebrity or become an astronaut, although, admittedly, the one episode where the scout troop wrote in to ask if Jimmy could fix it for them to have their packed lunches on a rollercoaster was, undeniably, really fucking funny.

Just look at that one fat little motherfucker's face. Still trying to shove in a bit more of his donut. Greedy little bastard.

In any case, the children would send in their letters, ensuring that they enclosed their name, address and telephone number, and if they were lucky (and attractive) enough, Jim'll, as he was affectionately known, would contact them and arrange for their wish to be granted on national television, as well as for them to recieve their very own, highly sought after 'Jim'll Fix It' medallion. Of course, unbeknownst to them and, indeed, the rest of the world at large, all this came with a price...

Since the scandal broke, some of Savile's more enterprising victims have taken to selling their medallions on eBay for mad cash, although it is worth noting that all the money in the world won't be able to buy back their innocence.

OBEBBCMI5WTF?

IT'S A CONSPIRACY!!!111oneoneone

Looking back, it's kind of odd that a man like Savile, who amazes one with his sheer energy and the proliferation of peedings that he undertook, so much so that it's hard to believe he actually found time to run any of his numerous marathons (but perhaps someone told him that a crowd of toddlers was waiting for him at the finish line, to spur him on), ever managed to work his way into such a position of authority and so-called 'popularity'.

Throughout the old cunt's years at the BBC, nearly all employees of the corporation -- including journalists, editors and presenters -- were subjected to security vetting carried out by MI5 (which, for our colonial cousins, is roughly analogous to the FBI, except without the power of arrest).

Vetting was a thorough process of investigating an individual's background, especially their politics and private life, to see if there was anything about them that might be contrary to what MI5 regarded as the national interest. For instance, Savile's contemporary at the beeb Paul Gambaccini was marked down by MI5 as a possible subversive ... just because he was a faggot.

So how did a 24/7 noncing machine like Savvy-boy apparently manage to escape detection while working for the BBC for the best part of 30 years?

Or did he? We may never know. But this isn't the last time MI5 appears in the epic Savile saga.

The Smith Review

No, not another TV programme starring sex beast Savs, this is the title of the official inquiry into how the fuck Savile got away with it during his time with the BBC, and whether he had any fellow paedo playmates within the Corporation. Established 2012 and its report still hasn't (as of February 2014) been published. Since the Smith Review got set up, the key figure who promised to tie Jim-boy to a paedophile ring in the Houses of Parliament has been found dead and a bucket of whitewash tipped over what was going on. So, it's looking like the Smith Review will get to the bottom of things.

See Also

• BBC Radio 4
• Chris Morris
• CNN
• Fox
• Jimmy Savile

External Links

• The BBCs "news"
• The BBC 'reports' on 4chan