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Conversion Therapy: Difference between revisions
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{{timeline|Featured article August 02 & 03, [[2018]]|[[Anthony Kennedy]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[The Krassenstein Brothers]]}} | |||
Latest revision as of 02:25, 2 August 2018
Conversion Therapy is where loving Christian parents send their sinful homosexual and transgender offspring so a creepy middle aged man who claims to be an "ex-gay" can bring them into Jesus' light and imbue them with the power of heterosexuality and an anus full of paedophile semen. As everyone knows, God Hates Fags, and if your gay child somehow manages to get into Heaven while in a state of gayness, they will be eternally subjected to the torment of having God beat them up daily so he can steal their lunch money and call them a faggot.
With Conversion Therapy™, your child can be freed from their unnatural homosexual urges and live a long, happy life with a spouse who just doesn't care that they married a closeted homosexual as long as the marriage produces good Christian offspring and a steady flow of cash. Known side effects of Conversion Therapy™ include murdering little boys and burying them in the basement, suicide and going on a school shooting rampage – although these are admittedly a small price to pay for being free of The Big Gay.
Religions other than Christianity generally don't offer Conversion Therapy but do offer alternative treatments for homosexuality such as hanging, stoning, being set on fire, being thrown off a tall building and AIDS – an experimental treatment that was created by the United States Government in the 1970s for the purpose of killing all the Africans.
How Do I Stop Being Gay?
Removing the gay from a hardened homosexual deviant is a careful process that generally involves Mike Pence hooking up a car battery to your nipples and then using his sacred hammer, Mjölnir, to add an extra kick of about 6 million giga-volts.
Islamic Conversion Therapy
See Also
- God Hates Fags
- Electric Pence
- Transtrender
- Ted Haggard
- Not gay
- Fight the New Drug
- Mormons - An entire religion of people who pretend to be heterosexual.
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Conversion Therapy is part of a series on Visit the Social Justice Portal for complete coverage. |
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Conversion Therapy is part of a series on Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
| Featured article August 02 & 03, 2018 | ||
| Preceded by Anthony Kennedy |
Conversion Therapy | Succeeded by The Krassenstein Brothers |