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Engineer: Difference between revisions
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This isn't Shithead Fortress 2. Add your fucking TF2 engineer references to the TF2 article itself and stop being a faggot. | |||
[[ | --> | ||
[[image:Engineers' natural habitat.jpg|250px|right]] | |||
[[Image:IMMA_CHARGIN_MAH_LAZER_IRL.JPG|thumb|right||[[IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER]]]] | [[Image:IMMA_CHARGIN_MAH_LAZER_IRL.JPG|thumb|right||[[IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER]]]] | ||
[[Image:Engineer_with_electronic_shits.JPG|thumb|right||[[Steve_Irwin|CRIKEY! The engineer in its natural habitat. Don't get too close; it bites.]]]] | [[Image:Engineer_with_electronic_shits.JPG|thumb|right||[[Steve_Irwin|CRIKEY! The engineer in its natural habitat. Don't get too close; it bites.]]]] | ||
[[Image:Dude_with_generator.JPG|thumb|right||An engineer, tweaking the quantum [[lulz]] generator | [[Image:Dude_with_generator.JPG|thumb|right||An engineer, tweaking the quantum [[lulz]] generator | ||
for maximum performance.]] | for maximum performance.]] | ||
An '''engineer''' is a [[Basement dweller|basement dwelling]] [[nerd]] professionally [[secks|engaged]] in the use [[math]] and [[science]] for the [[lie|purpose]] of designing useless [[crap]]. Engineers are concerned with making the most possible [[Money|jewgold]] [[Truth|while avoiding the solutions to any practical problems]]. [[Lie|Engineers play a vital role in society]], [[Darwin_Awards|culling the populace]] through [[lulz|negligent design flaws]] in items such as [[Minneapolis Bridge Collapse|bridges]], buildings, [[Team Fortress 2|Sentries, | An '''engineer''' is a [[Basement dweller|basement dwelling]] [[nerd]] professionally [[secks|engaged]] in the use [[math]] and [[science]] for the [[lie|purpose]] of designing useless [[crap]]. Engineers are concerned with making the most possible [[Money|jewgold]] [[Truth|while avoiding the solutions to any practical problems]]. [[Lie|Engineers play a vital role in society]], [[Darwin_Awards|culling the populace]] through [[lulz|negligent design flaws]] in items such as [[Minneapolis Bridge Collapse|bridges]], buildings, [[Team Fortress 2|Sentries]], computers, and cars. | ||
Engineering majors are one of the most egoistic, unfunny, self-important obnoxious pieces of shit on the planet who won't stop bitching all the time on Facebook about [[Unwarranted Self Importance|how hard their studies are]] and how they dream of studying other shit every day. This is mostly because they are too dumb to make worldly connections or produce anything that is actually useful, thus end up complaining all the time about society and how everything is [[bawww|so harsh on them]], but somehow claim to be the smartest people on the planet. Obviously no one will ever tell them that studying something for its sense of entitlement is cringe worthy, that no one gives the slightest shit about how they have trouble dealing with their crap, and that their "trust me' I'm an engineer" jokes are almost as unfunny and annoying as [[you|their lives]]. Mostly because they don't have any friends to tell them these in the first place. | |||
Engineers are generally formed when [[nerd]]s first enter [[college]] and find out that [[4chan]] is not an available major. Engineering school consist of a [[Asian|lifetime worth of math]], science and [[Chemistry|other useless crap]] packed into four years. The required math homework [[Fat|precludes all physical activity]], causing massive muscle atrophy. Unlike | Engineers are generally formed when [[nerd]]s first enter [[college]] and find out that [[4chan]] is not an available major, or when a dumbass schoolgirl decides to be a 1337 h4x0r <3 <3 <3. Engineering school consist of a [[Asian|lifetime worth of math]], science and [[Chemistry|other useless crap]] packed into four years. The required math homework [[Fat|precludes all physical activity]], causing massive muscle atrophy. Unlike everyone else, engineers have no time to [[secks|get laid]] in college and end up spending all their time trying not to [[fail]] at [[Bullshit|Applied Mechanics 1402]]. | ||
Once out of [[college]], engineers become certified by the [[NAMBLA]] and can begin careers designing items as diverse as dildos and [[Apple]] computers. | Once out of [[college]], engineers become certified by the [[NAMBLA]] and can begin careers designing items as diverse as dildos and [[Apple]] computers. | ||
<center><youtube>rp8hvyjZWHs</youtube></center> | |||
<center><youtube>rp8hvyjZWHs</youtube> | |||
==Variants== | ==Variants== | ||
*'''Electrical''' engineers design items such as [[4chan|servers]], the [[Playstation 3|PS3]], [[Fire|your toaster]] and [[BDSM|electro-genital stimulators]]. [[Geek|They]] tend to be the nerdiest of all [[Dick|flavors]] of engineer, spending all their time on the [[G|/g/]] board of [[4chan]], [[Masturbation|fapping]] to pictures of [[Science|2N3055]] transistors. Work generally consists of useless crap that any electrician could figure out, such as fixing the [[Moot|power supply]] on [[4chan]]’s server, designing a [[Navy|missile guidance]] system or figuring out how to [[Win|kill a furry with a 9V battery]]. | |||
*'''Mechanical''' engineers sit around all day bitching about how <strike>robots have made their job obsolete</strike> spies have been sappin' their sentries. [[Some argue]] mechanical engineers are [[Lie|still useful]] for designing lawn mowers ,toasters, TV antennes, and reclining chairs. Mechanical engineers designed [[Fag|your prosthetic penis]]. | |||
*'''Chemical''' engineers constitute the [[Secks|intermediary]] between [[Chemistry|chemists]] and [[Cancer|products]], finding ways of adding [[Cancer|highly carcinogenic]] [[Cancer|chemicals]] to [[Cancer|every day products]] such as [[Cancer|baby formula]],[[Cancer|personal lubricant]] and [[Aqua Dots|children's toys]]. It's a well known fact that all chemical engineers cook [[meth]] and [[Anarchy|make bombs]] in their spare time. | |||
*'''Polymer''' engineers are a [[Retard|special]] [[Gay|flavor]] of chemical engineer. Polymer engineers generally try to destroy the [[Furry|environment]] as fast as possible, while attempting to turn [[You|horse shit]] into plastic. Polymer engineers designed your latex suit, you [[sick fuck]]. | |||
[[Image:Engineerporn.jpg|thumb|Hung Load in Toeing Wenches 4.]] | |||
*'''Civil''' engineers design [[Minneapolis Bridge Collapse|faulty bridges]] with the intent of [[Darwin_Awards|killing as many people as possible]], [[Did it for the lulz|for the lulz]]. The [[Minneapolis Bridge Collapse|Minneapolis Bridge Collapse]] is considered to be the [[Penis|peak]] of civil engineering throughout [[Fail|history]], establishing a [[Win|high score]] of 13 for future generations to [[Masturbate|beat]]. It has been said that human sexuality was designed by a civil engineer - who else would be stupid enough to put a sewage plant right next to the carnival?<br clear=all> | |||
*'''Nuclear''' engineers collect uranium for [[Iran|that sandnigger guy]], in an attempt to [[borat|blow up the great jew]] and cause general middle-eastern lulz. [[Lie|Nuclear engineers are among the smartest]], [http://www.nist.gov/public_affairs/releases/plutonium.html having figured out a fool proof way of storing plutonium dust in file cabinets]. | |||
*'''Industrial''' engineers walk around and tell [[you|people]] that they are [[doing it wrong]] because they are [[butthurt]] about being life long virgins. They live to eat [[shit|muda]] because its the only way they can get off. They didn't create the interwebs, they just made it [[gay]]. | |||
*'''Software''' engineers, distinct from [[Code|programmers]], believe that [[Lie|there is more to programming than just writing]] [[code]]. They are obsessed with things called [[Shit nobody cares about|processes]] instead of [[lazy|doing actual work]]. Further, software engineers produce [[shit|software]], which means that they are automatically deserving of [[slashfic|pain]] and [[rape|suffering]]. [[Some argue|It has been said]] that both software engineers and programmers are working in collusion to spread their [[AIDS|suffering]] worldwide, in an attempt to [[All your base are belong to us|take over the world]]. Most are [[4chan|wanna be 1337 h4x0rz]] who think writing code is somehow cool and not one of the grandest wastes of time on the planet. | |||
*'''Audio''' - not even real engineers. | |||
==Just in! White americans B& from [[MIT]]== | ==Just in! White americans B& from [[MIT]]== | ||
[[Image:Asians_in_my_engineering_job.JPG|center]] | [[Image:Asians_in_my_engineering_job.JPG|center]] | ||
{{quote|I want to an engineer.|Richer}} | {{quote|I want to an engineer.|Richer}} | ||
| Line 73: | Line 55: | ||
*[[Bruce Jeffrey Pardo]] | *[[Bruce Jeffrey Pardo]] | ||
*[[Dilbert]] | *[[Dilbert]] | ||
*[[1guy1knee]] | |||
*[[Mike Sandy]] | *[[Mike Sandy]] | ||
*[[Asian]]s | *[[Asian]]s | ||
*[[MIT|MIT Grads]] | *[[MIT|MIT Grads]] | ||
*[[Team Fortress 2|Dell Conagher]] | |||
*[[Ghost|The Engineer]] | |||
=== Useful/Useless Crap Designed by Engineers === | === Useful/Useless Crap Designed by Engineers === | ||
| Line 84: | Line 69: | ||
*[[Japan]] | *[[Japan]] | ||
*[[$100 Laptop]] | *[[$100 Laptop]] | ||
*[[ | |||
==External Links== | |||
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enumclaw_horse_sex_case Typical engineer] Gets [[Mr. Hands|fucked]] in the ass by a horse,dies. | |||
[[Category:People]] | [[Category:People]] | ||
{{life}} | |||
Latest revision as of 19:33, 3 September 2016
An engineer is a basement dwelling nerd professionally engaged in the use math and science for the purpose of designing useless crap. Engineers are concerned with making the most possible jewgold while avoiding the solutions to any practical problems. Engineers play a vital role in society, culling the populace through negligent design flaws in items such as bridges, buildings, Sentries, computers, and cars.
Engineering majors are one of the most egoistic, unfunny, self-important obnoxious pieces of shit on the planet who won't stop bitching all the time on Facebook about how hard their studies are and how they dream of studying other shit every day. This is mostly because they are too dumb to make worldly connections or produce anything that is actually useful, thus end up complaining all the time about society and how everything is so harsh on them, but somehow claim to be the smartest people on the planet. Obviously no one will ever tell them that studying something for its sense of entitlement is cringe worthy, that no one gives the slightest shit about how they have trouble dealing with their crap, and that their "trust me' I'm an engineer" jokes are almost as unfunny and annoying as their lives. Mostly because they don't have any friends to tell them these in the first place.
Engineers are generally formed when nerds first enter college and find out that 4chan is not an available major, or when a dumbass schoolgirl decides to be a 1337 h4x0r <3 <3 <3. Engineering school consist of a lifetime worth of math, science and other useless crap packed into four years. The required math homework precludes all physical activity, causing massive muscle atrophy. Unlike everyone else, engineers have no time to get laid in college and end up spending all their time trying not to fail at Applied Mechanics 1402.
Once out of college, engineers become certified by the NAMBLA and can begin careers designing items as diverse as dildos and Apple computers.
Variants
- Electrical engineers design items such as servers, the PS3, your toaster and electro-genital stimulators. They tend to be the nerdiest of all flavors of engineer, spending all their time on the /g/ board of 4chan, fapping to pictures of 2N3055 transistors. Work generally consists of useless crap that any electrician could figure out, such as fixing the power supply on 4chan’s server, designing a missile guidance system or figuring out how to kill a furry with a 9V battery.
- Mechanical engineers sit around all day bitching about how
robots have made their job obsoletespies have been sappin' their sentries. Some argue mechanical engineers are still useful for designing lawn mowers ,toasters, TV antennes, and reclining chairs. Mechanical engineers designed your prosthetic penis.
- Chemical engineers constitute the intermediary between chemists and products, finding ways of adding highly carcinogenic chemicals to every day products such as baby formula,personal lubricant and children's toys. It's a well known fact that all chemical engineers cook meth and make bombs in their spare time.
- Polymer engineers are a special flavor of chemical engineer. Polymer engineers generally try to destroy the environment as fast as possible, while attempting to turn horse shit into plastic. Polymer engineers designed your latex suit, you sick fuck.
- Civil engineers design faulty bridges with the intent of killing as many people as possible, for the lulz. The Minneapolis Bridge Collapse is considered to be the peak of civil engineering throughout history, establishing a high score of 13 for future generations to beat. It has been said that human sexuality was designed by a civil engineer - who else would be stupid enough to put a sewage plant right next to the carnival?
- Nuclear engineers collect uranium for that sandnigger guy, in an attempt to blow up the great jew and cause general middle-eastern lulz. Nuclear engineers are among the smartest, having figured out a fool proof way of storing plutonium dust in file cabinets.
- Industrial engineers walk around and tell people that they are doing it wrong because they are butthurt about being life long virgins. They live to eat muda because its the only way they can get off. They didn't create the interwebs, they just made it gay.
- Software engineers, distinct from programmers, believe that there is more to programming than just writing code. They are obsessed with things called processes instead of doing actual work. Further, software engineers produce software, which means that they are automatically deserving of pain and suffering. It has been said that both software engineers and programmers are working in collusion to spread their suffering worldwide, in an attempt to take over the world. Most are wanna be 1337 h4x0rz who think writing code is somehow cool and not one of the grandest wastes of time on the planet.
- Audio - not even real engineers.
Just in! White americans B& from MIT
—Richer | ||
See Also
Famous Engineers
- Tony Stark
- Nikola Tesla
- Bruce Jeffrey Pardo
- Dilbert
- 1guy1knee
- Mike Sandy
- Asians
- MIT Grads
- Dell Conagher
- The Engineer
Useful/Useless Crap Designed by Engineers
External Links
- Typical engineer Gets fucked in the ass by a horse,dies.
