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{{NG Meme}}
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|align="center"|[[Image:Moarknow.png|150px|æ The Moar You Know]]
|align="center"|[[Image:Moarknow.png|150px|æ The Moar You Know]]
|align="left"|<big><big>Did you know</big></big><br/>'''that...''' [[WTF|The feeling of rust against your fingers is almost orgasmic?]]
|align="left"|<big><big>Did you know</big></big><br/>'''that...''' David Firth is a piss-poor wanna-be Lynch who can barely work Flash and has a fanbase consisting entirely of 15-year-olds?
|}
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[[Image:SaladFingers.jpg|thumb|Salad Fingers.]]
[[Image:David_Firth_Life_Coach.jpg|thumb|When not making shit cartoons, Firth wears other peoples' faces and life coaches.]]
'''David Firth''' is a purveyor of [[Flash]] movies of a rather [[shit|retarded]] nature. He can't draw for [[shit]], but he makes up for this by being a [[sick fuck]]. He hails from a really crap city in the north of [[England]] called Hull, which is populated mostly by [[zombies]] and [[chav|chavs]] and reguarly makes the top two on surveys on the worst places in [[Britain]], something which the residents believe to be an achievement of sorts. In Hull it is common etiquette to rape grannies and impregnate your pets(WTF?!), which explains a lot.
[[Image:David_Firth_Face.jpg|thumb|When not wearing other peoples' faces Firth lurks around playgrounds scaring children with his [[pedophile]] face.]]
[[Image:SaladFingers.jpg|thumb|Salad Fingers, the [[Abortion|brainchild]] of David Firth]]
'''David Firth''' is a purveyor of [[Flash]] movies of a rather mediocre nature. Possessing no artistic talent, he attempts to make up for this with his illusion of "surrealism". A typical Firth animation consists of five minutes of Aphex Twin background music matched to a single "creepy" frame with random, brief, intervals of Tim and Eric tier random access "British" humor. Firth's portfolio can be compared to the likeness of [[Invader Zim]] as it attracts hoards of social rejects with daddy issues, and is not in the least bit creative or interesting. Said emos/goths/8th graders that hang on Firth's dick have absolutely no capacity to begin to understand the basics of what ''actually'' makes a good piece, and rather believe that a two-minute flash segment that uses toast (remember, Invader Zim) as a plot device is "deep".


David Firth has gotten a lot of attention on [[Newgrounds]] where he is either adored by [[goths]], [[retards]], weirdos and pretentious French people or hated by other flash animators, [[13 year old boys]] and [[queers]]. David Firth also sometimes reviews other flash animations on Newgrounds, usually damning them to hell for not being up to par with his [[crap|wonderful work]].
Unsurprisingly, it was originally the [[Newgrounds]] users who latched onto Firth, possibly because his toilet-jokes were of a higher quality than anything else ever posted on the site.


He is [[BAWWW|totally not cool with his vids being on YouTube]].
He is [[BAWWW|totally not cool with his videos being on YouTube]].
 
==The Man Himself==
 
<youtube>Lt94D0mymL8</youtube>


==Salad Fingers==
==Salad Fingers==
Salad Fingers is a a <s>popular</s> [[shit|terrible]] flash animation about some creepy fuck who sits around being a faggot. Scientists believe that the Salad Fingers cartoon is based on the typical Hull resident, they have not been able to confirm this because all explorers who dared to venture into Hull were raped to death and had their bodies sent back to their family with a 2nd class stamp stuck to their forehead. The whole thing reeks of [[Tim Burton]] and attracts pretty much the same crowd of [[goth]] [[fags]] and [[shit|turds]]. [[Newgrounds]] also hosts a myriad number of Salad Finger tributes which are all the exactly the same. Many scientists tried to investigate the inner meaning of the movie. Most of them stopped giving a shit after they saw Salad Fingers jacking off a rusty grid.(lolwut)
The majority of Firth's e-fame, or lack thereof, is rooted from his flash series '''Salad Fingers'''. Essentially, Salad Fingers is about an insane man (while remaining unnamed it is alluded he is "Salad Fingers") living in a post-apocalyptic landscape. Rather than building off of the basis for the story he created, Firth chose to construct the series into tl;dw episodes with literally no plot progression or development. Angsty teenage fans have historically over-thought the toilet jokes for metaphors about how cruel society is, etc. However, any sane viewer will see no more than a mid-quality Newgrounds submission, becoming too popular for its own good, and then digression into Firth's "critique of humanity".
 
=== Episode Guide ===
 
*Episode 1: Spoons. In which we meet Salad Fingers and learn that he likes the feeling of <s>rust</s> cock against his salad <s>fingers</s> anus. He ventures into the abode of a strange creature and caresses its <s>kettle</s> testicles.
<youtube>M3iOROuTuMA</youtube>
 
*Episode 2: Friends. Salad Fingers has a get together with his friends who are finger puppets. He proceeds to taste them. They are: Margery Stewart-Baxter who tastes of sunshine dust, Hubert Cumberdale who tastes of soot and poo and Jeremy Fisher of undisclosed flavor. We learn that Salad Fingers knows at least rudimentary [[French]].Salad Fingers then tricks a scared looking [[chav]] into his oven. He then skewers his finger on a rusty nail and remarks "I like it when <s>the red water comes out</s> I'm anally penetrated". He then loses consciousness, presumably from lack of blood. He dreams about seeing Hubert Cumberdale in a slaughterhouse. Hubert Cumberdale screams and Salad Fingers awakes looking pale in a pool of blood. There is smoke everywhere, presumably from the [[chav]] in the oven. Salad Fingers remarks "That fish smells about done".
<youtube>cuCw5k-Lph0</youtube>


*Episode 3: Nettles. Salad Fingers has been enjoying the pleasures of <s>nettles</s> cock. He then finds a soiled, rusty old pram, which he calls a nettle carrier. He is followed home by an enraged, retarded BBQ employee with no arms called Harry who Salad Fingers names Milford Cubicle. He then proceeds to rub a nettle on his nipple and makes milk come out. Harry/Milford knocks himself unconscious banging his head on the door so Salad Fingers drags him inside and puts him on a hook. He then plays an Irish ditty on the flute and offers Harry/Milford a glass of milk.
All in all, Firth is an untalented cunt.


*Episode 4: Cage. Salad Fingers meets [[Brian Peppers]] who apparently has a crush on him. When Salad fingers explains to him that their love is forever doomed, he is imprisoned in a cage. He escapes by using some form of [[Time Cube|voodoo]] and rides off into the sunset on a giant rusty tap.
<center><youtube>M3iOROuTuMA</youtube></center>
 
*Episode 5: Picnic. There was a fairly large time gap in between making episode 4 and 5. <s>This episode is a bit crap really.</s> THE WHOLE SERIES SUCKS COCKS! Salad Fingers goes on a date with [[Cracky-chan]] and that's pretty much it.
 
*Episode 6: Present. Jeremy Fisher gives Salad Fingers a toy horse whom he names Horace Horsecollar. He then eats Jeremy Fisher and plays with Horace. Salad Fingers finds a toilet in the middle of the wilderness and fishes around it. He apparently sees someone accusing him of something in [[teh]] toilet bowl and returns home, were he finds a copy of himself who proceeds to eat the <s>brain</s> cock of the original Salad Fingers.
 
*Episode 7: Shore Leave. Salad Fingers has been eating sand. He finds the rotten corpse of his younger brother, Kenneth. He continuously refers to "The Great War". After a meal he kicks Kenneth back into the hole singing "We'll meet again". We then see Salad Fingers in a dress, singing in front of a crowd, but he complains that the pianist is playing in the wrong key and walks off stage.
<youtube>VkNASRPha4Q</youtube>
 
*Episode 8: Cupboard. Salad Fingers is enjoying his radio but we can't find a clear station. We see him putting pellets into the back of the radio saying "He gets a little uppity when he  hasn't had his substance". The radio starts emitting a frequency that upsets Salad Fingers.Salad Fingers decides to wait it out in his safety cupboard. He finds a hair in the cupboard  which he tapes to the wall with other hairs. Salad Fingers awakes in the night to find his  radio telling him he wants his hair back and to clean the house. Salad fingers gets upset and  proceeds to eat the hairs and hides in his cupboard crying.
 
 
==Burnt Face Man==
The only one of Firth's series that doesn't regularly involve [[Necrophilia|corpses]] being [[Anal sex|sodomised]]. It involves the homoerotic misadventures of a [[gay]] superhero with a burnt (sic) face. In context with the rest of Firth's work, this is actually pretty normal.
 
==Devvo==
A Semi-autobiographical account of David Firth's youth, as well as being a toned down factual documentary about life in Hull. It is an epic tale of sleeping in bins, drinking cider in the park and taking pills. The main character is surprisingly articulate for a [[chav]], possibly in an attempt to make the subject matter more accessible to regular folk.
<youtube>jbRy-_Tmldg</youtube>
 
==Panathinaikos Bear==
A strange and hypnotic retelling of the adventures of [[George W Bush]] and some green thing that will give you a fucking headache. Probably makes less sense than anything else by David Firth.  No JewTube.
 
==Sock==
This series is based on Firth's dreams, proving once again he is a [[sick fuck]].
<youtube>IWlXxoz6Gpc</youtube>  


==Spoilsbury Toast Boy==
==Spoilsbury Toast Boy==
This is a backwards running series much in the style of Salad Fingers only more fucked up as it involves his grandmother being [[rape|sodomised]] by roaches, roaches commanding [[shota|Spoilsbury Toast Boy]] to [[fuck|cut]] off his grandmothers nipples and a machine that totally [[pwns]] Spoilsbury Toast Boy. Aside from that, the cartoon makes pretty much no sense at all.
Even more "interesting" is Firth's two-part series Toast Boy. Made after his initial success, Toast boy is the gothic kid viewing it: no actually meaning or direction but lives under the illusion that they are somehow "different". Much like Salad Fingers, nothing actually happens, and the viewer is subjected to eight minutes of toilet-humor and Firth's attempts at being edgy/surreal.
<youtube>pPsACBPQv7k</youtube>
 
==Hell Claymation==
Unlike Firth's other stop animations, "Hell" will leave you wanting to [[Suicide|Pwn urself IRL]] if under heavy doses of the [[weed]]. At the end of it, most would wonder if [[Michael Jackson]] really is Peter Pan and what had just happened to their lower extremities.
<youtube>bk2WcM65RMI</youtube>
 
==Jerry Jackson==
David Firth also makes flashes under the name of Jerry Jackson. Jerry is a [[13 year old boys|13 year old boy]] alter-ego who thinks he's better than he is at flash. Despite the obvious parody, many people think he's real. These people are the [[lol-cow]]s of [[Newgrounds]]. To further prove that Jerry Jackson is not an alter ego of himself, David spead false rumors about actually meeting and having sexual relations with Jerry. Similar to actual acts he perfomed with a [[Madeleine McCann|Little girl]].
<youtube>zuTHdzSJz4c</youtube>
 
==Waller FM==
Firth has recently released a [[podcast]] pretending to be [[Old|a radio show]] pretending to be [[funny]]. The show, for the most part, is incomprehensible and and features old characters spouting the same humor as previously seen on his website.
 
==MilkMan==


A flash cartoon filled with dasies and ponys. The name of the flash is [http://www.fat-pie.com/milkman.htm Milkman.] Oh, what a joy it is to behold this fine piece of animation. Ages 0-3.
The series, more than anything, shows Firth's never ending attempts to make a name for himself outside of Newgrounds circle-jerks, and be taken seriously as a filmmaker. What a joke.


==Video Dating==
{{center|{{videoframe|vids|background-color: transparent;|font-weight: bold;|
<youtube>wdMkSFOd3Kc</youtube>|
<youtube>Z2nPmdTNmjE</youtube>
}}}}


A story of retards, perverts, and fat ugly women.
<youtube>ke6P5qF072k</youtube>
==Gallery==
==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
<gallery>
Image:Me and Salad Fingers.jpg|girls love salad fingers
Image:Illo cumb saladred.jpg|Salad Fingers
Image:Illo cumb saladred.jpg|Salad Fingers
Image:Salad-fingers-6.jpg|salad fingers and friend
Image:Me and Salad Fingers.jpg|[[Sluts|Girls]] love Salad Fingers!
Image:Salad_Fingers_and_Hubert_YAOI_by_yamato_ayanami.jpg|Salad Fingers and a [[gay|'Special Friend']]
Image:Salad-fingers-6.jpg|Salad Fingers & Friend
Image:Salad anal.jpg| Salad fingers on his spare time
Image:Salad_Fingers_and_Hubert_YAOI_by_yamato_ayanami.jpg|Salad Fingers &<br> [[gay|'Special Friend']]
Image:Salad anal.jpg| Salad Fingers in his spare time.
Image:Salad Fingers Red Water.jpg|[[Cutting|Emo]]
Image:Salad Fingers Art.jpg|Lolwut?
Image:Salad Fingers Farmville.jpg|Eat your greens kids!
</gallery>
</gallery>
</center>


==External links==
==External links==
* [http://www.fatpie.com/ David Firth's homepage].
* [http://www.fat-pie.com/ David Firth's website].
* [http://www.fat-pie.com/ Firth's other web page.]
* [https://brainfeederfilms.lnk.to/umbilical His feature length film (you have to pay)]
* The best [http://www.fat-pie.com/milkman.htm Flash cartoon] [[EVAR]].
* [http://www.fat-pie.com/milkman.htm Some low quality bs]
* [http://www.newgrounds.com/collection/saladfingers.html] Newgrounds boasting a perfectly visible boner over Salad Fingers.
* [http://www.newgrounds.com/collection/saladfingers.html Newgrounds boasting a perfectly visible boner over Salad Fingers.]
* [https://www.reddit.com/user/dokidokipanic Reddit]
* [https://www.patreon.com/davidfirth A patreon, because what hacky e-artist doesnt have one of these?]


{{memes}}
{{goth}}
{{Britfags}}
[[Category:People|Firth, David]]
[[Category:People|Firth, David]]
[[Category:Internets Phenomena]]
[[Category:Internets Phenomena]]
[[Category:Fandom Stuff]]
[[Category:Fandom Stuff]]

Latest revision as of 21:09, 5 February 2019

ALERT: THIS IS A JEWGROUNDS MEME
David Firth is a meme that was shat from the bowels of Jewgrounds.
æ The Moar You Know Did you know
that... David Firth is a piss-poor wanna-be Lynch who can barely work Flash and has a fanbase consisting entirely of 15-year-olds?
When not making shit cartoons, Firth wears other peoples' faces and life coaches.
When not wearing other peoples' faces Firth lurks around playgrounds scaring children with his pedophile face.
Salad Fingers, the brainchild of David Firth

David Firth is a purveyor of Flash movies of a rather mediocre nature. Possessing no artistic talent, he attempts to make up for this with his illusion of "surrealism". A typical Firth animation consists of five minutes of Aphex Twin background music matched to a single "creepy" frame with random, brief, intervals of Tim and Eric tier random access "British" humor. Firth's portfolio can be compared to the likeness of Invader Zim as it attracts hoards of social rejects with daddy issues, and is not in the least bit creative or interesting. Said emos/goths/8th graders that hang on Firth's dick have absolutely no capacity to begin to understand the basics of what actually makes a good piece, and rather believe that a two-minute flash segment that uses toast (remember, Invader Zim) as a plot device is "deep".

Unsurprisingly, it was originally the Newgrounds users who latched onto Firth, possibly because his toilet-jokes were of a higher quality than anything else ever posted on the site.

He is totally not cool with his videos being on YouTube.

Salad Fingers

The majority of Firth's e-fame, or lack thereof, is rooted from his flash series Salad Fingers. Essentially, Salad Fingers is about an insane man (while remaining unnamed it is alluded he is "Salad Fingers") living in a post-apocalyptic landscape. Rather than building off of the basis for the story he created, Firth chose to construct the series into tl;dw episodes with literally no plot progression or development. Angsty teenage fans have historically over-thought the toilet jokes for metaphors about how cruel society is, etc. However, any sane viewer will see no more than a mid-quality Newgrounds submission, becoming too popular for its own good, and then digression into Firth's "critique of humanity".

All in all, Firth is an untalented cunt.

Spoilsbury Toast Boy

Even more "interesting" is Firth's two-part series Toast Boy. Made after his initial success, Toast boy is the gothic kid viewing it: no actually meaning or direction but lives under the illusion that they are somehow "different". Much like Salad Fingers, nothing actually happens, and the viewer is subjected to eight minutes of toilet-humor and Firth's attempts at being edgy/surreal.

The series, more than anything, shows Firth's never ending attempts to make a name for himself outside of Newgrounds circle-jerks, and be taken seriously as a filmmaker. What a joke.

Previous Video | Next Video

  • Salad Fingers
    Salad Fingers
  • Girls love Salad Fingers!
    Girls love Salad Fingers!
  • Salad Fingers & Friend
    Salad Fingers & Friend
  • Salad Fingers & 'Special Friend'
    Salad Fingers &
    'Special Friend'
  • Salad Fingers in his spare time.
    Salad Fingers in his spare time.
  • Emo
    Emo
  • Lolwut?
    Lolwut?
  • Eat your greens kids!
    Eat your greens kids!

David Firth is part of a series on

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I WILL NOT KILL MY CLASSMATES...
I WILL NOT KILL MY CLASSMATES...
 David Firth is part of a series on
GOTH
[Grow up and quit whiningEmbrace your inner darkness]
I WILL NOT KILL MY CLASSMATES...
I WILL NOT KILL MY CLASSMATES...

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Don Henrie ♦ Jerry from Doomsday Refreshment Committee ♦ Jonathon The Inhaler ♦ Lustifera ♦ Michelle Belanger ♦ Ryle Garamonde

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Noise

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David Firth
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