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Bear Grylls: Difference between revisions

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{{potential}}
[[File:BEARGRYLLS.jpg|center|]]


[[Image:Bear grylls.jpeg|thumb|300px|center|A '''macro''' featuring Bear Grylls.]]
'''Edward Michael Grylls''', aka [[furry|"''Bear''"]], aka "mental bastard" aka "pimpdaddy" aka "El urino",[[Winrar|eats raw animals for breakfast and generally fucks your shit up]], with a side of piss. He is the star of the TV show ''Man vs. Wild'' to [[America|amerifags]] and ''Bear Grylls: Born Survivor'' to you [[United Kingdom|britfags]]. In the previously aforementioned show he generally acts like a boss by [[FUCK YEAH SEAKING|standing butt-neked in freezing rivers]] or catching and fucking dirty animals including [[you]].


'''Edward Michael Grylls''', nicknamed [[furry|"''Bear''"]], is the [[jew|star]] of the TV show ''Man vs. Wild''. In this show, he shows off his survival skills in [[Norrath|exotic]] [[Azeroth|locations]] or [[Montana|in the middle of nowhere]]. There is a [[macro]] of him, similar to  [[Advice Dog]], where the punchline is usually him needing to drink his own [[piss]], overall this douche is a complete masterpiece of idiocy. He also stars in a British Version of the show which is called Bear Grylls: Born Survivor where, unlike Man vs. Wild he seems to spend fuck loads of time naked in frozen rivers. Recently he has been appointed chief scout for the world, which actually promotes him to the world’s greatest stealth paedophile, making the Pope second with Micheal Jackson in third.  
Big Bear used to be part of the SAS, so you know he's got shit locked down. He also happens to be the youngest [[United Kingdom|Britfaggot]] to climb mount everest, at the top of which he drank a hot steaming cup of victory piss. Gryllsie also happens to be a pretty [[forced meme|shitty meme]], that usually has a [[image macro|macro]] of his squinty grizzled frontface, depicting him in situations where he nearly always replenishes himself with [[Tim Buckley|steamy urine]]. [[File:Bear grylls bath.jpg|thumb|Bearbigballs having a relaxing bath.]]


Edward Grylls claims to have been a member of the [[FBI|SAS]], but fellow members cite him has being a [[bitch|pack mule]]. His ''Man vs. Wild'' show is highly suspect as even [[basement dwellers|inexperienced outdoorsmen]] can find fault in his show. It would appear that he suffers from some form of hormone deficiency, as no matter the length of time he spends in the wild; he always remains clean-shaven.
==Planetary sized testicles==


One thing about young Eddy Grylls is that his balls are gigantic and made of admantium. Some dipshit jealous [[Neckbeard|neckbeards]] say that his shows are staged, but claiming this will never compensate for their [[Vagina|vaginas]]. Slowly drag your eyes down the page and check out the motherfucking [[True|genuine shit]] he does.


<center><youtube>9VefG-FuMYA</youtube></center?><br>


==''Man vs. Wild'' Show Format==
So what would you do if you were stuck in the middle of the ocean with nothing but contaminated water and a long rubber tube? Cry like a little [[Faggot|faggot bitch]]? Probably. Not bear-boy though, he'll just go right ahead and give himself an [[Pooper|enema]].
* Get dropped off in random location by helicopter
<center><youtube>TtIG4TuVnvg</youtube></center><br>
* Be a 5-minute walk from a 5-star hotel
* Eat innocent animals for [[lulz]]
* "I [[lie|knew a man]], who was living in this area and he made a crucial mistake. By not eating bugs off the ground to get extra [[jizz|protein]], he died."
* Have explosive [[diarrhea]] from the dumb shit he ate
* Drink your own piss


==''Born Survivor Format''==
[[File:God damn.jpg|frame|center| How many reindeer hearts have you eaten lately? Fuck all, that's how many.]]
*Get dropped off by a helicopter and plummet down to earth at [[over 9000]] miles per hour
*Get into a staged situation all about how you can [[lie|survive]] in the place you will NEVER visit
*Realise that eating beetles and having a explosive diarrhea is a shit idea and eat camera man, say they died in a freak accident involving sharks in the dessert
*Jump naked into a frozen river for no apparent reason
*Drink own piss


==Bear's Favorite Pastimes==
*Eating bugs, fungus and [[Furry|small defenseless animals]]
*Running around naked in [[Canada|the middle of fucking nowhere]]
*Getting on the [[Piss|piss]] every [[Rebecca Black|Friday]] night
*[[Lie|Pretending]] to be spending 48 hours in [[Iraq|inhospitable conditions]]
*Getting paid to all of the above, then calling in the chopper to [[Run Chubby|take him back home]].


{{quote| What a fucking crazy stupid douchebag|[[God]]}}


==''Enema''==
{{quote| He really needs to stop drinking all of that piss.| A [[House|doctor]]}}
<center><youtube>TtIG4TuVnvg</youtube></center><br>
{{quote|I'm expecting this to be particularly pleasant|Bear Grylls controlling his excitement }}


==Gallery==
==Gallery==
<center><gallery perrow="3">
<center><gallery perrow="5">
Image:The Sun is going down.jpeg|Sun is going down...
Image:The Sun is going down.jpeg
Image:Man vs wild-Trapped-in-McDonalds-Better-drink-my-own-piss.jpeg|Trapped in McDonald's...
Image:UNCYCLOPISS.png
Image:Man vs wild-CANT MELT ANY SNOW BETTER DRINK MY OWN PISS Bear Grylls meme-s468x520-96827-580.jpeg|Can't melt any snow...
File:Man vs wild-CANT MELT ANY SNOW BETTER DRINK MY OWN PISS Bear Grylls meme-s468x520-96827-580.jpeg
Image:Doing it wrong.jpg|Doing it wrong...
Image:Bear_grylls.jpeg‎
Image:Byl.jpg|Doing it right...
File:Man vs wild-Trapped-in-McDonalds-Better-drink-my-own-piss.jpeg
Image:Drink own piss.jpg
Image:Hand over the piss.png
Image:PissPissPiss.jpg
Image:Byl.jpg|
Image:beargryll_hc.jpg|[[The Holocaust]]!
File:Yellow snow Bear Grylls.jpg|Yellow snow
File:BEAR GRYLLS RAN-OUT-OF-MANA-BETTER-DRINK.jpg
File:BEAR GRYLLS CANT MELT ANY SNOW BETTER DRINK.jpg
File:BEAR GRYLLS Sun-is-going-down.jpg
File:BEAR GRYLLS TRAPPED IN MCDONALDS.jpg
File:Bearscarbrokedown.jpg
File:Holocaustsurvival.jpg
File:Beargryllsmeetsbigboss.jpg
File:Vape - Piss.jpg|[[Vaping]]
</gallery></center>
</gallery></center>


==External Links==
==External Links==
*[http://memegenerator.net/bear-grylls Meme Generator of Bear Grylls]
*[http://memegenerator.net/bear-grylls Meme Generator of Bear Grylls]
*[http://www.beargrylls.com BearGrylls.com]


{{TV}}
==See Also==
*[[Unfunny]]
*[[United Kingdom]]
*[[Insane]]
*[[Coyote Peterson]]: Protege.


{{stub}}
{{Movies}}
[[Category:People]][[Category:TV Shows]]
{{Mediawhores}}
{{Britfags}}
[[Category:People]]

Latest revision as of 17:17, 25 August 2024

Edward Michael Grylls, aka "Bear", aka "mental bastard" aka "pimpdaddy" aka "El urino",eats raw animals for breakfast and generally fucks your shit up, with a side of piss. He is the star of the TV show Man vs. Wild to amerifags and Bear Grylls: Born Survivor to you britfags. In the previously aforementioned show he generally acts like a boss by standing butt-neked in freezing rivers or catching and fucking dirty animals including you.

Big Bear used to be part of the SAS, so you know he's got shit locked down. He also happens to be the youngest Britfaggot to climb mount everest, at the top of which he drank a hot steaming cup of victory piss. Gryllsie also happens to be a pretty shitty meme, that usually has a macro of his squinty grizzled frontface, depicting him in situations where he nearly always replenishes himself with steamy urine.

Bearbigballs having a relaxing bath.

Planetary sized testicles

One thing about young Eddy Grylls is that his balls are gigantic and made of admantium. Some dipshit jealous neckbeards say that his shows are staged, but claiming this will never compensate for their vaginas. Slowly drag your eyes down the page and check out the motherfucking genuine shit he does.

</center?>

So what would you do if you were stuck in the middle of the ocean with nothing but contaminated water and a long rubber tube? Cry like a little faggot bitch? Probably. Not bear-boy though, he'll just go right ahead and give himself an enema.


How many reindeer hearts have you eaten lately? Fuck all, that's how many.


   
“ 		 
What a fucking crazy stupid douchebag
  		„
  		 

—God

   
“ 		 
He really needs to stop drinking all of that piss.
  		„
  		 

— A doctor

Gallery

External Links

See Also

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