Robinhood

Steal from the Poor and give to the Rich

Robinhood Markets, Inc. is an American (((financial services company))) headquartered in Menlo Park, California. Robinhood is a scam, in league with the U.S. Scam and Insider Trading Commission, and is also a member of the illuminati. The company's revenue comes from three main sources: selling retards' information so hedgies can bet against them (a practice for which SEC opened a probe into the company in September 2020), investments from Melvin/Citadel, and Jew Banking.

2019 Data Breach

Last Thursday Robinhood was caught storing user passwords in cleartext. Robinhood claimed that there was no problem. Later they admitted about 2,000 accounts were affected and that hackers siphoned money out of there accounts.

Infinite Money Cheat Code

In November 2019, Reddit users discovered a glitch allowing Robinhood Gold members to to borrow unlimited funds by using shares bought with leverage (borrowed money that they never had to payback). The accounts were banned and the cheat code patched.

An Hero of University Student

In June 2020, a University of Nebraska student killed himself after seeing a negative cash balance of US $730,000 in his Robinhood account. After he hurled himself in front of a freight train (a lulzy way to commit suicide), the negative balance was determined to be a glitch.

OMFG ROBIN HOOD IS A SCAM SELLING RETARDS' DATA TO HEDGIES

Despite knowing for a while that Robinhood was a scam that had been set up to harvest "retail investor data" to hedge funds, so the hedge funds can bet against their own users, retards (yes, that's what they call themselves) kept using Robinhood instead of other options like Fidelity and Webull. This would lead in part to the GameStop short squeeze.

GME TO THE MOON

Sometime Last Thursday, Reddit users on r/WallStreetBets ("WSB") decided to troll Wall Street Billionaires in such a way to put Battletoads to shame.

How? By kicking the sad saps that were milking them and drinking their blood:

1. Buy a shitload of Gamestop, AMC, and other under-performing stocks.

2. Thereby screwing the short bets that these stocks would dive, and causing about 70 Billion USA Dollars from whale investors and hedgies to evaporate.

3. ????

4. PROFIT

What resulted was massive butthurt from Companies that owned a piece of Robinhood. So what did Robinhood do? Limit trading to only selling, thereby limiting their Jew-y Masters' losses.

But the fight is not over. By using collective powers of autism, retards of Reddit shall pump those stocks to the moon...and sell them only when the hedgies switch their bets to the long term.

With apologies to Balzac

Still confused about how short sales work? Please see this tutorial:

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Featured article January 30 and 31 through February 1, 2021
Preceded by Sitting Bernie	Robinhood	Succeeded by QAnon