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Jonathan Niehaus

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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This article is paid for by taxpayers like you.
Thanks, America.
This person has Assburgers Syndrome,
so you can't say anything bad! :-(

Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.
THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ.
BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM.
   
“ 		 
Everyone knows my reasons: I'm unknown and people don't know me, I always think of zoophilia too much and I make threats to people who should've bought (or DISCOVER) my albums sooner, plus, I don't have a good school life and hated what was going on in the real world/
  		„
  		 

Zoojay's face after seeing a dog's cock
This screencap says it all

Jonathan Niehaus aka Zoojay (Born June 3rd, 1986) is a 38-year-old overweight, aspie, virgin, and bestiality songwriter ; who sounds like the lovechild of Cartman and Chris Chan when he speaks. He is a zoophile who still lives with his parents in Indiana. More importantly he got fired from his job at the pet store for molesting dogs, and is notable for videotaping himself molesting his aunts' huskies. Jonathan is a seriously disturbed furfag with too much time on his hands. Finally, almost all of the songs he produces are about having sex with dogs, or his burning desire to get a canine of his own.

Songwriter

Niehaus, picking out which songs to steal next on his iPod
Niehaus taking down videos that feature his songs.

As was stated earlier, Johnathan has written over 30 songs about his desire to rape a dog - in graphic detail. A majority of his songs consists of him singing about finding a dog (or owning one) and fucking it until one of them gets a bleeding asshole. Most of his songs have a particular dog as its' focus; A Siberian Husky.

Essential listening are: "I need or want a Siberian husky right now", "Anal sex (with the doggy)", "Husky cock", "Legalized bestiality needs to happen", "Sex with Huskies, again?!!", "Mate that pussy", and "Huskies in need (for sex)". Another theme of his songs is his hatred for his own father. And it gets much worse...

He's also ripped off at least a few known songs. An example of his song theft is his song Aww, Cute Dog, which is no more than an Autotune version of Two Ton Paperweight with Johnathan's vocals, probably also autotuned. Did we forget to mention that he charges listeners to listen to these copyright infringing songs?


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Album Covers

   
“ 		 
If the states of Indiana, Ohio, and Washington State Would legalize beastiality so my albums will sell a lot of copies and end my misery for good.
  		„
  		 

— Sure it would, Zoojay

With copyrighted songs about bestiality and huskies on sites such as last.fm and Amazon, you might not be surprised to find that Jonathan has arranged these songs in albums with cover art. Besides one cover featuring a picture of a husky, the rest include Mspaint cover art that looks like it was done by a 5 year old or an autistic man in his mid twenties.

Quitting Music

Whining about haters and comparing himself to Nicki Minaj
Taking lessons from Blood on the dance floor
Zoojay blaming ED for the complications in his life which arose from openly being a zoophile

Then came the moment when Zoojay realized that his music neither was going to make him rich enough to buy a dog or a house, change the laws against bestiality, get him on the radio, or make him famous. He quit making music due to his mom's and his belief that his music about dog-raping could get him into legal trouble.

   
“ 		 
Sad News! Due to legal issues, J.N. Is currently on hiatus on music and his past 7 albums WILL BE Deleted by 2012! I'm a musician/ranter looking for fame with (optional) fortune for 7-11 years (Since I became a musician). I'm a combination of rock, industrial, (early) techno, rap, and Hip-hop rolled into one. I don't use professional equipment for my music, I only use a PS2, Music-creation PS2 games (tragically sold those to gamestop) and a Portable DVD player, with INport Deluxe to record to sound to the computer with Audacity to edit the sound. Sorry if it's "cheating". Plus I never Master my own music and that's the truth. I've released 7 music albums (& sadly WILL BE deleted due to legal issues), I don't know how many singles I've released so don't ask(!).
  		„
  		 

Raping Dogs on Video, Furfaggotry, and Xtube

   
“ 		 
I need a Siberian Husky Dog in real life to make up all the lost time i had with other animals and I'm tired of visiting dogs in Ohio because of STUPID AUNT EILEEN Wont let me have alone time with Bandit or Shadow
  		„
  		 

—Zoojay mad at his aunt

what the .....
   
“ 		 
Someone from 789chan needs to take down the article about me, they need to know I don't do taboo things like that anymore
  		„
  		 

This is his idea of a Fursuit

If you believed that Johnathan isn't being serious about what he sings about and believe that he's a very convincing troll, you are sadly mistaken. Johnathan has a history of raping dogs, which was why he got fired from working at a pet store and from a volunteering at the humane society.

Johnathan had followed his aunt's dogs with a video camera multiple times to film them. He later fapped to the footage and showed it off in bestiality forums. Such videos contain Johnathan videotaping his aunt's dogs pissing, Johnathan slobbing all over one of the huskies' mouth, and even him bending over to let one of the dogs mount his fat, flabby ass.

Here are a few videos to demonstrate that:

Previous Video | Next Video


It's no surprise that Johnathan would also have an Xtube. Johnathan used the site to promote something more terrifying than dog rape: himself. He filmed himself lifting his pubic mound to pee in the toilet and fapping while in a cheap Walmart werewolf costume. He had also uploaded quite a few of his nudes onto the site.

Mail these to his behavioral shrink About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
  • He defriends someone for not giving him a dog
    He defriends someone for not giving him a dog
  • He also molested his mom's dog
    He also molested his mom's dog
  • - And his other aunt's cat
    - And his other aunt's cat
  • Molesting a dog at Petco
    Molesting a dog at Petco
  • Bawwing over a dog getting adopted
    Bawwing over a dog getting adopted
  • He knows that in prison he will be anally raped by an animal that even he fears.
    He knows that in prison he will be anally raped by an animal that even he fears.
  • Getting fired from the humane society
    Getting fired from the humane society
  • The aftermath from getting fired
    The aftermath from getting fired
  • Zoojay is also a horsefucker
    Zoojay is also a horsefucker
  • Take me to Anthrocon NOW NOW NOW or I'll kill myself with a butter knife
    Take me to Anthrocon NOW NOW NOW or I'll kill myself with a butter knife
  • The cheap costume he uses in some of his nudes.
    The cheap costume he uses in some of his nudes.
  • Halloween Everyday !
    Halloween Everyday !
  • His Xtube account before it was deleted.
    His Xtube account before it was deleted.
  • Johnathan with another furfag
    Johnathan with another furfag
  • He likes tigers too
    He likes tigers too

Parent Issues

   
“ 		 
Sorry for the absence. I had my wifi plugs taken away (temporary), because I was being punished for starting an XTube account w/o knowing
  		„
  		 

Oh the drama!
"Fuck the law! :,("
Threatening to gut his mother

It was only a matter of time before his own parents caught wind of his antics and decided to do something about it. Instead of banning Johnathan from the internet permanently and never allowing him near computer, they decided to give him a new computer "when he is ready." Of course, Johnathan didn't take the news well. Feeling frustrated by his parents, he went onto Twitter and bitched about the situation - even to the point where he threatened to kill his own father.

The next step was for his parents and his own therapist was to make him give up his flashdrives filled with bestiality porn and to delete his Xtube account. After Johnathan deleted his account and given up his flash drives, he considered becoming an hero, unable to cope with the loss.

His parents, being as computer literate as their own son, bought their son a new laptop, believing that their son couldn't fap to animal porn anymore with the loss of his flash drives, his old computer, and his word. Of course, Johnathan has as much willpower as a heroin addict and is back to fapping and posting on Twitter. A few days later, he deleted his Twitter account.

Gallery

  • Chris Chan's dog-raping twin
    Chris Chan's dog-raping twin
  • Aww, look! He thinks that he's a real musician.
    Aww, look! He thinks that he's a real musician.
  • Hai there, Mr. Potato Head!
    Hai there, Mr. Potato Head!
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
There isn't any doubt that Zoojay ruined another toilet when he read this article

Websites/Social Networks

A Siberian Husky photographed listening to the music of Mr Niehaus.

Niehaus made a lot of sites to show his creepiness and music, he almost always updates his Facebook and Twitter pages.

See Also

Ruh roh!

External Links

Jonathan Niehaus
is part of a series on
Bad things that happen to animals
Basic Concepts [-+]

Animal Abuse • Bestiality • Furry • Hunting • Taxidermy

Meet the Menagerie:

Badgers • Bats • Bears • Bees • Birds • Bunnies • California Pet Laws 1/1/19 • Cats • Chickens • Chihuahuas • Cows • Crabs • Crows • Dinosaurs • Dogs • Ducks • Eagles • Fish • Foxes • Frogs • Giant Isopods • Octopuses • Pandas • Parakeets • Parrots • Penguins • Pigs • Rats • Sharks • Sheep • Snakes • Spiders • Turtles • Walruse • Wolves

Jonathan Niehaus is part of a series on

Furfaggotry

Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage.

Jonathan Niehaus is part of a series on

Music

Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage.


Featured article October 11 & 12, 2012
Preceded by
Avant-garde 		Jonathan Niehaus Succeeded by
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