Showing Animals Respect and Kindness

The nose knows

Showing Animals Respect and Kindness, or SHARK, is yet another not-for-profit animal rights group that has sprung up in recent years. Its stated goal is to fight animal cruelty by making Youtube videos with "the latest technology." It is difficult to categorize SHARK; one could argue that SHARK is one step up on the ladder from PETA since they don't go around killing animals by the thousands, but one could also say that they're on the absolute bottom tier of animal rights activists because they haven't accomplished jack shit aside from wrecking thousands of dollars in donated equipment and making lulzy videos.

The Organization

Steve filling out an internet butthurt form. That will show 'em!

SHARK is led by a man named Steve Hindi, a middle-aged, balding betafaggot from Pennsylvania with a hardon for animals. Steve is joined in his quest by a variety of similar people, all of whom care deeply about stopping what they consider to be animal cruelty while lacking the testicular fortitude to actually do anything about it.

Their usual plan of action is as follows:

• Get close to rich hunters
• Be as annoying as possible
• Turn on the expensive video camera and hit record
• BAWW when asked to leave by the police

Of course, none of this does anything to stop the hunters, which allows SHARK to endlessly make videos and ask for donations.

From time to time, Steve will file frivolous lawsuits and legal complaints against hunters, hunting organizations, rodeo organizers, the NRA, local lawmakers, local judges, the cops, and anyone else he can think of. Naturally, this has led everyone with any kind of power in Pennsylvania to absolutely fucking hate him, which leads him to bitch and moan that the man is corrupt and is working against him.

The Enemy

SHARK's primary targets are rich hunters, though Steve has brought his suspiciously large nose to the front door of pretty much anyone who does anything with animals. The first response to a SHARK attack is usually to ask Steve to go away or to physically block him from filming. When that fails, the cops are called and trespassing complaints are made. Things really start to get interesting when Steve shows up with zoom lenses for his camera; by this point, the richfags are pretty butthurt and will go out of their way to harass Steve and friends so that they leave.

In some cases, the hunters will hold contests among themselves to see who can break the largest amount of SHARK's equipment without being sued. This is pretty easy, as Steve has already managed to piss off every competent lawyer in the northeastern United States.

Wing Pointe

By far, SHARK's favorite group to troll is the Philadelphia Gun Club, a group that holds pigeon shoots at Wing Pointe. After all, there is no worse crime than shooting a few pigeons every now and then, so why not spend all day being peppered with birdshot on the off chance that someone on Youtube will give a shit?

Ironically, the Philadelphia Gun Club is comprised of people who are just about as manly as Steve is, so these videos end up being the most amusing of the bunch as Steve and friends face off against rich white people in the ultimate contest of passive-aggressiveness. Ever so slowly, the confrontations became more and more heated, until the hunters started doing things like planting tire spikes outside of their driveway and setting up a paper wall to keep Steve from filming them. This is some truly hardcore shit. The best part of it all is that each video is filled with Steve's comments on how extremely violent the hunters are, as the more hyped up he can make it, the more jewgold he gets in donations.

In one video, he decides to follow one of the hunters around all day, and is finally hit over the head by a dog leash when the guy loses his temper. He immediately cuts the video there so the viewers can't hear his girly screams. Being an attention whore, Steve tilts his head forward and stands there for a few minutes before starting the camera again so that he can pretend to be Braveheart.

	“	and you can see the kind of people we're dealing with	„
	—Steve Hindi and the hunters on each other. Note that Steve is a macfag.

Other notable videos include several where Steve is bumped by cars and cries, hit by birdshot that isn't going fast enough to leave marks, and even has a handgun pulled on him by a gun club member who shoved his girlfriend and then shat his pants when he realized that Steve might actually man up and swing at him.

The Drone Wars

lel

After Wing Pointe got smart and started putting up walls, Steve decided that the best course of action would be to fly an expensive camera-equipped drone over an area where people are shooting at birds with shotguns.

The result:

Naturally, Steve didn't give two shits about having wasted donation money, so he immediately bought several more camera drones, all of which were shot down on their maiden flights. One was even taken out by an incredibly well-placed shot from a rifle, which begs the question, "why haven't these guys just offed Steve by now?" They could do it fairly easily with a throw-away rifle and a quick walk through the woods with oversized shoes, but since they and Steve combined have the testosterone level of Chris-Chan, that will never happen.

Trolling Potential

Given that Steve is a leftist hippie drama queen, trolling SHARK should be fairly easy and would provide hilarious results. Unfortunately, nobody has really capitalized on this potential for lulz yet. Maybe someone can change that.

See Also

• PETA
• ALF
• Whale Wars

External Links

• SHARK's website
• Their Youtube channel