Gurochan

GUROchan

Foundation	Unknown
Major Boards	/f/, /g/, /s/
Epic Wins	owners getting v& 20 times, making their own IB software where all the variables are "deadloli"
Website	~~http://gurochan.nethttp://gurochan.org~~ ~~https://gurochan.ch and http://gurochanocizhuhg.onion/~~ ~~https://www.gurochan.cx/~~ ~~https://www.gurochan.ga/~~ ~~https://www.guro.wtf/~~ https://www.guro.cx/

Do you have a hankering for doing the hanky-panky to a little boy getting his dick cheese-grated onto a pizza? Do you dream about making a human centipede, but aren't man enough to do it? Does the thought of eating a fetus, shitting it out, and eating it again make your mouth water with excitement? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, gurochan™ is for you!

The thing that just won't die

Gurochan has mysteriously disappeared twice in recorded history, for "unknown" reasons. Most believe it was because the first admins were serial killers and the second ones were pedos. However, just like any cockroach, it seems that no matter how many times you kill this site, it keeps coming back.

The current admins are enclaved and ryonaloli. Little is known about enclaved except that he lives off of his mom's disability check in a studio apartment in russia, and stays on irc all day high on heroin. Literally NOTHING is known about ryonaloli, except that he is so fucking paranoid he wears tinfoil around his dick so the NSA won't monitor his dicksignals and that he seems to be pro google. Or at least he's against an irrational hatred for google.

On this site, expect to find boards literally DEDICATED to shit (/s/), bugs fucking amputees in the ass (/f/), and fat guys gang-raping a loli's eyesocket (/g/).

Oh, and one more thing...

..they have a /fur/ board.

IRC

The official IRC channel is not even owned by gurochan at all, which is not surprising considering enclaved blows all his money on krokodil and ryonaloli blows all his money on tinfoil hats. The embarassing part though, if someone who owns fucking gurochan could actually FEEL embarassment, is the owners of the site only have +voice on their shitty channel... The actual owner of the channel, animone, wants to be king of the freaks and will NOT give up ownership of this channel to the actual admins, which is predictable since they are beta losers anyway. Animone is also known to somehow lurk for months on irc without saying anything, meaning "she" is obviously the FBI.

Gurochan revived (again) and the war with r/Guro

Straitjakit keeps vandalizing this page to shill his non-existant child porn website an remove all the parts where he got owned. Watch out!

In 2019, Straitjackit was notified by gurochan's host that it didn't appreciate the site hosting imagery of lolis getting cattle pronged while hooked on an IV machine full of zit juice and vomit. So Straitjackit followed in the footsteps of Mark Poolerberg, owner of alt.binaries.diaper.porn, and obliged without a second thought, wiping 99.9999999% of the site clean.

This predictably caused mass butthurt, and the remaining oldfags from 2005 era gurochan all collectively packed for reddit/killed themselves. Gurochan didn't last long after the loli ban, and some spammed CP in retaliation, which in turn caused the current Gurochan staff to give up and shut the site down. For ~~about a year and a half~~ at least 100 years ago, there was no gurochan, or even a bunker board, since despite gurochan's userbase being primarily made up of 45 year old virgins, they still aren't good at computer, so no one could host a proper replacement. That is until one 33 year old Russian pedophile came around, who goes by the name kuz (Powerword: Yuri Kuznetsov), the man behind many famous imageboards, such as 9channel and heyuri. Despite having so many successful imageboards under his wing, he wanted more.

In the year 1985 + 36, during kuzzykins quest of finding imageboards to partner up with, he finds the lazy fags that ran the previous iteration of gurochan and struck a deal with them. Gurochan came back with no issues, until a few seconds after the site launched, kuz and the previous gurochan team had an argument over which trojan horse ads and datamining software should be embedded into the boards. Kuz rightfully called Straitjackit a fat nigger faggot, and b& everyone from the pisscord group. Straitjackit and his lackies bitched on the new gurochan, owned and operated by Kolyma Network™, in hopes of stealing back the userbase, but then they realized the userbase hates their fucking guts. The only community that gave them any sympathy was r/guro, the only guro community filled with male-feminists that fap to drawn pictures of dead women, while simultaneously reprimanding someone for making a joke on another subreddit.

As of right now, Gurochan is about as active as it's always been, with practically no rules, except for Rule 34. Along with the no rules attitude this new iteration has, there's also a few sister chans, like Gorechan, and LOLIBOARD. Because Kuz is a ruski and hosts the site himself, he's immune to Murican internet laws, so he can host as much loli raep as he wants, much to the dismay of plebbit's guro community.

How to troll

Go on IRC claiming to be the feds, and tell ryonaloli his CP stash will be confiscated.
Remind animone that being a tranny just makes you a faggot, NOT a gurl.
~~Remind enclaved he fails at life~~ He's constantly too high on da krok to care.
Post reaction pictures to everything.
Use TOR to evade bans.

Gallery

Use eyebleach... About missing Pics

Gurochanner taking the family pet out for a stroll
Most of the shit here is so fucking creepy it can't even be uploaded HERE
Literally half the shit on this site is lolicon. No lolis have ever been known to make it out alive.
Artist's impression of the current admin, ryonaloli