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Zezima
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This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
Zezima is a faggot RuneScape player hero-worshiped by 13 year old players the world over for being a fat unfunny guy with a beard on the internet, essentially RuneScape's equivalent of Minecraft's Notch. He has been hailed as the greatest and most respected players ever to grace the world of RuneScape since he joined in 2001, due to the fact that for so many years he sat at the top of the XP hiscores after spending his days grinding to increase the size of his e-peen and impress girls on the internet.
In reality, Zezima is a fatass basement dweller who plays RuneScape for 24 hours, occasionally setting foot outside in order to secure more RuneScape membership cards and hot pockets, or to be driven to gayass conventions in order to play Yu-Gi-Oh cards with other sad losers (If he can convince his mother to drive him).
He also recently got a job, which lead to the deaths of over 9000 emo faggots taking their lives, and now, the leading cockmaster of Runescape is "S U O M I," an infamous Faggot whose dad won the lottery and instead of going to college with it, decided to spend it all on Runescape membership. He claims to work out and eat healthy even though he spends 20 hours on the game every day.
Zezima is also followed by many n00bs who are desperate for some cock since they can't even get close to any pussy except for the girls on RuneScape who are actually guys. He enjoys lulz so much that the bastard enjoys just standing their causing millions of noobs to go on rages while wanking off to Zezima. He just stands their there ignoring every pre-teened faggot in his presence. Alot of RuneScapers ponder upon his age, also.
——Zezimas Youtube Channel | ||
The above quote highlights the extent of Zezima's delusion and alienation from society. So absorbed by the web of lies he created for himself, he actually believes to have begun dating a girl he met on the internet whom he refers to as 'Rachel'. Poor sod.
Anchient history
Zezima is now ancient history and if you remember him then you are probably too old to be playing RuneScape.
The Truth about Zezima of RuneScape
There are 5 theories on Zezima:
The very unexciting truth about Zezima is that he is a regular basement dweller fatass Runescape player just like you and that other idiot in the corner; though it is obvious that he has a much higher focus and commitment than the majority of players to the art of wasting his life.
However, Zezima could actually be 300 Chinese sweatshop drones, keeping the account online to stop anyone from h4x0ring it. This is why he isn't number 1 anymore as Jagex has (finally) introduced OTT anti-RealWorldTrading systems. Obviously, that means they can't get their regular source of selling RuneScape gold like here.
It also could be that Zezima is actually a piss artist account set up by Jagex to piss off no-lifers and make them frantically level for up to 8 hours a day to try and keep up with him, while paying $5 a month. This causes much lulz at Jagex as they store the combined nerd concentration energy in a big jar, where they sell it to occult groups such as the Illuminati, Free-Masons and Prince Charles.
Or it could be that he is , the creator of the shit-fest known as Runescape who plays to make all the other players look bad and auto's using a $200 autoer he bought using the money he got out of being a man whore.
It's also been said that he has hardcore goatse buttsecks with his best friend Gangsta Lion A.K.A Gangsta Nigger.
——Gangsta Lion | ||
Life as a Nerd God
Being the highest ranked (not any-more bitch) cocksucking fatass in RuneScape isn’t without its draw backs. He has hundreds of people constantly following him around, begging to suck his cock. You can imagine seeing him IRL. All of a sudden the world around him springs into action and everyone around him is begging for him to sign their Hoobastank CDs because Hoobastank is to Runescapers what Barry White is to sex music.
Well, the obvious reason behind this is his success in the cocksucking business itself. He is an idol for thousands of fat men with no lives across the world who live in RuneScape. He is the Michael Jackson of RuneScape you could say. His interest in the game briefly declined when he discovered wikiFur and learned that Jesus makes better Doom maps than he does. If you are lucky enough to see him in-game, he will quickly be bombarded with people saying "Zezima, Zezima, BONG HITS 4 JESUS!!! SIGN MY PENIS!" He also started playing Gangsta Bean at least 100 years ago which makes him one of the most highly Goatsefied players. Zezima isn't in the closet about his tremendous amount of fail and AIDS that he has foisted on the RuneScape community. He encourages all levels of people to keep sucking and setting goals to reach. I think his overall attitude towards the epic quote "WHAMMY!!!" and his inhuman ability to kill sand niggers is an important role in him staying infamous.
At the end of 2006 Zezima was in fact NOT number one for a few weeks due to the fact that he was busy sucking his college professors cocks to pass. This caused the entire RS population to going batshit insane and fucking tear up the place, however he returned to number one upon achieving 99 hunter. Then a bit over a year later the new and exciting skill summoning was release, and Zezima hasn't been number one ever since FOR nearly A YEAR yet no one seems to be giving a shit. Funny how things change over time, huh? Though, people end up always sucking his cock when ever he logs in.
Marriage life
Zezima and some random noob gf got married at their virtual house with shitload of guest note the fact that the preachers name is "Big knockers" and various failmods have shown up to mute people as well. While this is dramatically lovely, the bitch and zezima got divorced, involving fuckloads of e-drama with another kool kid named 5pirit. Truly a deeply sad e-drama story for all zezima's fanbois. He's now remarried with Gangsta Lion.
Videos
BEHOLD! An interview with the master! Notice his epic faggotry in life, such as not being married tsk tsk... and... he only talks to people with a shitload of "gp", whatever that is.
This is what happens when zezima lets his fans talk to him.
——Zezima | ||
See Also
External Links
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Zezima is part of a series on MMORPGs. | [Ding!] |
