Toaster Steve

This page contains spoilers — important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example,
HOLY SHIT the video is tl;dw!!!1

Toaster Steve or LOLdoge (Dakota J. Moore) is a 20 year old Canadian attention whore who feigned bringing lulz to 4chan by camwhoring the most half-assed suicide attempt in history. Claiming to be an oldfag who has been a 4chan regular since 2004 (despite him being 11 years old then), Dakota somehow managed to attract international attention to his relationship problems by taking pills, drinking vodka, and starting a small fire in his dorm room.

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This page is about an attempted an hero.

	“	This is it. Tonight I will be ending my own life. I’ve been spending the last hour making the preparations and I’m ready to go through with it. As an oldfag who’s been on 4chan since 2004, I thought I would finally give back to the community in the best way possible: I am willing to an hero on cam for you all. All that I request is for you guys to link me to a site where I am able to stream it for you guys, then I will gladly fulfill my promise.	„
	—OP is a faggot.

The Event

On December 1st, 2013 it was announced to the denizens of /b/ that OP would kill himself if people watched; some argue that Dakota erroneously perceived this would mean that he wouldn't be dying alone. A video chatroom was created where he took the name "LOLdoge", downed some pills and vodka, set fire to his dorm-room and then crawled beneath his bed. All live on camera. Some 200 eagerly expectant viewers were left with a feeling of extreme disappointment in regards to his abject failure.

~~LiveLeak video~~

A brief summary of the event

The Ex-Girlfriends

Krystyn Morley
Hi Samantha,
You have no idea what you're talking about, so please just stop. Dakota and I have been broken up since Sept 21, when he sexually assaulted me on our 6 month anniversary. I did not press charges because of the nature of the assault (we were both intoxicated and his mental health issues), but he was suspended from his job and only allowed to continue under a strict behaviour contract. I quit my job, dropped out of school, and moved back home. Two months later, Dakota's gf before me came forward with more information about an incident that occurred during their relationship almost a year ago. Dakota found out about this prior to his suicide attempt, but was not aware of all of the facts at the time. I'm sick of people accusing me of making a false rape accusation. How dare you jump to that conclusion when you had none of the facts. So please, just stop. Call off the witch hunt. I'm actually a decent person who cares a whole lot for Dakota even after everything that's happened. Dakota's previous gf is also a lovely girl and after what happened between Dakota and I, I completely believe her accusations - but the investigation for that incident hasn't even begun yet.
Thanks,
Krystyn

tl;dr faggot raped 2 of his girlfriends.

~~proof that she is a real person~~

Quotes

	“	bath + toaster for great scientific justice	„
	— Anon offers advice

	“	PROVIDE PICS ROOM IS FULL DAMN IT	„
	— The room quickly hits its limit

	“	#imdead #omgimonfire	„
	—LOLdoge speaks

	“	I’m fuck3d	„
	— His "last words"

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TL;DR

	“	I tried to watch on my phone but couldn't really see what was going on. Somebody should open a suicide studio with proper lighting and cameras so these freaks can get the attention they desire.	„
	—BostonBurns, future presidential candidate.

Toaster Steve's Attention Whore Handbook

Old media attention is still attention!

Follow these simple steps and you too will have your dick sucked by chantards.

Be a 20 year old Canadian college student.
Go public about your relationship issues on /b/
Pretend said issues are traumatizing enough to warrant suicide.
Get on webcam.
Ingest a non-lethal dose of pills and chase with vodka.
Start a small fire in the corner of your dorm room.
Hide under your bed so as not to die from smoke inhalation.
Wait for a neighbor to notice the smoke.
Wait for firefighters to arrive, it won't be long, they're across the street.
Get treated for minor injuries.
Admire your new tan.
Supply your mother with a napkin to dry her tears.
Act like a clown on Facebook.

Living It Up In The Burn Ward

Following his rather unfortunate survival, Steve has taken to scoring pity points from the pathetic, fag enabling /b/tards flooding his Facebook profile.

	“	hey guys im out of the hospital	„

	“	im okay, just burnt my toast a little	„

	“	sry for not dying babe, atleast i tried	„

	“	toasting is an art	„

	“	my grand pa died like a bitch	„
	—Whereas Steve failed at dying like a bitch.

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Gallery

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The Media "Reacts"

The retard smearing Nutella (or maybe his own feces) on his genitals.

	“	One of the ways that people demonstrate their insiderness on boards .... is by breaking social taboos. One of the greatest taboos we have is against self-harm and is against breaking that boundary of privacy.	„
	—Aimee Morrison, completely clueless as to /b/ customs/traditions, on CBC News

	“	He claimed he was acting as 'a hero' in the parlance of /b/, reported Daily Dot.	„
	—IB Times, attempting to understand an hero.

	“	Dakota Moore.. logged onto notorious anonymous chatroom 4chan... filmed himself downing pills and vodka before setting fire to his dorm room. ...His actions were watched by 200 viewers – the maximum number permitted on the 4chan forum.	„
	—Daily Mail, confusing 4chan with Chateen, the (external) streaming site