Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

Thiopental Sodium

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigationJump to search

Thiopental Sodium is the hot new shot that all the cool cats and hipsters on death row are clamoring to get. Sometimes called “Sodium thiopental” and used as a “truth serum” the drug has now become the only “one shot execution method” in the United States. The chemical acts simply; by giving murdering scum a very high dose, the chemical induces coma and then the inmate drifts off to the big sleep, causing no visible pain or discomfort. Opponents of the drug cite that the chemical might take up to 5 times as long to induce death in the subject when compared to the current cocktail of drugs that are in use now, but that rubbish has been tossed in the garbage as the first use of the drug only took 10 minutes to end the life of the initial homicidal maniac it was used on.

A happy and useful chemical!
The usual lefty gang showed up.

With the execution death of Kenneth Biros, a convicted murderer who bludgeoned to death Tami Engstrom and then deposited her chopped up body over a wide territory that included more than ten counties, Ohio has leaped to the forefront of this popular, hip new method of getting rid of unwanted scumbags that seems to be all the rage these days.

Of course, any new method of execution is going to have some simpering nay-sayers and will cause all the anti-death penalty crowd to start up their “cruel and unusual” yammering, and this is just what has happened. Leftist faggots, upon hearing that Biros was going to be receiving the new Thiopental Sodium hot shot, fired up their bullhorns, began furiously painting protest signs, practiced singing "Kumbaya," and, as usual, forgot completely about the victim of Kenneth’s brutal murder.

Background

 
If it's good enough for our pets, it should be good enough for our criminals.

In September of 2009, Romell Broom, a convicted murderer who was also found to have raped the cold body of his dead victim, was scheduled to die by lethal injection in Ohio. During the execution procedure, prison medical staff officials could not find a suitable vein to inject the old school “three drug cocktail” that most other states use for execution. This bungling, along with a pack of crying lawyers, caused a two hour delay in the execution and also led to eventually causing a total stay of execution as jabbing a raping, kidnapping murderer with a little needle is considered cruel and unusual.

Ohio had a problem. They have all these criminal douche bags on death row, but what if the procedure screws up again? They simply could not allow a bunch of cutthroat butchers to languish in their prisons, sucking the federal teat to the tune of over $40,000 dollars per year. They had to find a solution, as the solution of chemicals they were currently using, was just not getting the job done.

Enter Thiopental Sodium. Normally, this drug is used to euthanize pets and to induce coma in patients that have intracranial pressure, but Ohio prison officials figured it was good enough, if used in large doses, to off their prisoners who were convicted of homicide and were taking up bed space on death row. Also, and here is the best part, you don’t have to inject the stuff in any vein! You can simply stick a person in muscle tissue or bone, and if you have enough of the chemical, it will kill them in about ten minutes…the same amount of time that the older cocktail takes.

Ohio had their problem solved…or so they thought. On December 8, 2009 at 11:47am Kenneth Biros was greased in an Ohio death penalty chamber using the new single drug shot and most everybody thought that a new, kinder method of rubbing out criminals had finally arrived. That’s when the ACLU wackjobs entered into the picture and started screaming.

Wackjob Reactions

 
Ohio's torture chamber.
 
Biros, greased by unfeeling and bloodthirsty republicans.
 
“ 		 
If these people are worried about cruel and unusual punishments, kill them the same way they killed their victim. It would not be unusual, it was done before, and as for cruel, they did it first.
  		„
 

—Aaron Marshall, Cleveland Plain Dealer.

Of course, the internet is a sounding board for the average Amnesty International whiners, but this case, like many landmark cases, was special to them. They argue that because this method is new, it must be bad, citing the following reasons for why this excellent method of rubbing out murderers is wrong:

  • Time of death could take too long.
  • Other, civilized countries don't practice capital punishment. I guess he should have raped and decapitated that chick some place else.
  • But what if this form of execution doesn't work? Well, we just start it all over, I guess...
  • But but but...what if he is innocent? Biros confessed to the brutal bludgeoning, decapitation, dismemberment, and final distribution of the body, so this point is kinda moot.
  • The new chemical could pose risks to the humane treatment of a prisoner.
  • Vein access issues are still unresolved (as if that problem has not been completely taken care of by this new method).
  • This new chemical might be more painful than the last one (despite the fact that the same people have been using this stuff on puppies and kittens for over fifty years).
  • The rights of the convicted outweigh the rights of their victims.

Overheard at the Execution

 
Debi Heiss actually said "Rock on!" at the execution.
 
Ohio Governor, Ted Strickland, who has the power of life and death in his hands.
   
“ 		 
I'm being paroled to my father in heaven, I will now spend all of my holidays with my Lord and savior, Jesus Christ.
  		„
  		 

—Kenneth Biros, right before they put out his lights.

   
“ 		 
Rock on! This was too easy.
  		„
  		 

—Debi Heiss, Tami Engstrom's sister.

   
“ 		 
At the time of his death, Kenneth Biros owned a CD player and 7 compact discs. These he gave to siblings.
  		„
  		 

—The prison guards took all the good stuff.

Wackjob Quotes

 
Candlelight vigils, hot cocoa, and brownies the night before Biros got snuffed.
 
Biros, at his trial, trying to act repentant. It didn't work.
 
The murder site. Some idiots believe Tami's ghost haunts this ruin.
   
“ 		 
Kenny used to phone me every time there was an execution. It would shake him and the others, having to saying goodbye to someone they'd known for years.
  		„
  		 

—Karen Torley, human rights activist who only cares about criminal rights.

   
“ 		 
How sickening that after taking a break to reconsider Ohio's execution procedures -- in the wake of the torturous treatment of Romell Broom -- our state dreams up a new, "experimental" way of killing
  		„
  		 

—Other Voices

   
“ 		 
On February 2, 1991, Kenneth Biros murdered a woman named Tami Engstrom who he persuaded to come with him to see the cabin (a shed in the woods) in his backyard. He then cut off her head, gutted her, and dismembered her body. He spread the body parts around Butler, Pennsylvania. Her ghost roams the woods behind Biro's boarded up house.
  		„
  		 

—Some idiot who believes in ghosts.

   
“ 		 
Condemned killer Kenneth Biros could become the first person in the country put to death with a single dose of an intravenous anesthetic instead of the usual — and faster-acting — three-drug process if his execution proceeds Tuesday.
  		„
  		 

—Slower execution my ass, it worked faster.

   
“ 		 
Prison officials have delayed the 10AM execution of Kenneth Biros one hour. They were waiting to see if the U.S. Supreme court will intervene to stop the process, but the decision has been made to let the execution be carried out without further interruption. Why let that man suffer??? Isn't it enough already. This makes me so sad and angry...Pure torture.
  		„
  		 

—hahahahahahaha!

Normal People Quotes

 
Jackbooted Nazi republican's have a better idea.
   
“ 		 
Thats why I say give them five years of appeals, and then hand them over to a gun club. That way we will appease both the Liberals who either think we're playing God, or killing potentially innocent people (not that they all believe in God, or the right to life) as well as the Conservatives who think its not worth it to have 20 years of appeals, $Millions in wasted tax dollars, and a cozy relatively painless death for some sicko like Broom, Sowell, or Biros.
  		„
  		 

—An ethical debate?

   
“ 		 
An eye for an eye, this family's life has been in limbo for way to long, Biros should have been gone along time ago .the defense is the lethal injection is cruel and inhumane punishment boy that's funny because he didn't care how inhumane he treated Tammy when he chopped her up and spread her around did he? He's only sorry now because he's going to die and I for one am Glad justice will finally be served.
  		„
  		 

—Execution stay lifted.

See Also

External Links

 
 

Thiopental Sodium is part of a series on

SCIENCE!

[FizzlePop]

 
Thiopental Sodium
is part of a series on

Life

[BRB HugboxGo Live One]
 
Retrieved from "http://edramatica.com/index.php?title=Thiopental_Sodium&oldid=89161"