Candy (furry)

Somebody call the Waaaambulance!!!1!

This is a blatant attack article about a subject nobody cares about. It was most likely written by a butthurt emo with a personal vendetta against the subject.

You can help by proving me wrong.

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Candy, aka (cute_playful_wolf), is a seriously disturbing Down's Syndrome ~~patient~~ fucktard who taps on keyboards and can move a mouse, despite profound mental retardation. She is exceedingly ugly, but refuses to allow her disgusting excuse for a visage act as a hindrance in her desire to be an amateur internet pornstar. Her ugliness was no impediment to Dani Faulk, who had sexual relations with her during his single attempt to be heterosexual.

Her notoriety generally stems from the shock that occurs when her long, foam-like flat breasts make their first appearance on webcam. They resemble a pair of clear gallon-size Ziplock bags that have been filled with Shit, piss and rotten furries. One can only imagine that the accompanying stench is comparable to something akin to a steeping brew of Gummi Bears, human waste, Mountain Dew, and balsamic vinegar.

From her poorly-lit bedroom in her aging parents home, and utilizing a cheaply purchased webcam, Candy performs various acts of self-gratification. These acts range from slapping her breasts with a nearby flyswatter to encouraging her toy poodles to dine on canned Dinty Moore Beef Stew that has been stuffed in her foul fuckparts.

All of this takes place in live web shows, much to the delight of of her two regular viewers.

Zoology

As a child, Candy was quite adorable, and resembled one of the Olsen twins. It seems her genes were somehow spliced after allowing herself to be fucked by a Retarded horse with severe facial deformities. Passing on the genes of the horse, she sprouted an extensive cranial ridge. Mapping this ridge has become the subject of more than one Doctoral candidate's dissertation, but cannot be done because not even the strongest gas masks can keep the smell of human and dog waste, vomit, Animal jizz and dead furries.

Attempts to identify Candy using UCLA's usual nomenclature for classifying land mammals just barely makes the mark of primate, just sliding over into 'Plant' due to ugliness and the fact she never moves from her computer.

A Goldmine for Bacteriologists and Advanced Moneran Studies

Further studies have revealed that Candy plays host to vast colonies of parasitic, fungal, and bacterial life forms heretofore unknown on the planet (which proves the plant theory). These newly discovered creatures can be found within the folds of her flesh, apparently, but noone is enough of a sick fuck to check. Not even you

Defense against predators

When faced with an aggressor, she can emit an ear-piercing scream that has been known to shatter the inner ear of would-be predators. Candy is also known for wild changes in temperament in which she lashes out, unprovoked, in what some zoologists refer to as "an orgy of violent primate-like behavior". This is normally aimed at any male with enough decency to reject her. She has been seen on several occasions to hoot and posture while throwing fecal material at the object of her dismay.

Fur Fetish

Originally, Candy had tried to pose as "wolf kin", but was quickly rejected from the yiffing community after:

Repeatedly shitting in her fur suit
Looking like a retard
Getting B& from /b/ for ugliness
Tieing herself to her computer and refusing to leave until everyone faps to her
Hitting the admin who tried to deroot 'her'. (Debatable, as 'she' may belong to the plant genus).
Eating out of the toilet
Going on Myspace
Failing to create a Myspace account
Mongling Cockmongler

[Give $500 PlzOpen Up to Us]

Candy (furry) is part of a series on Psychology

	Mental illness & Disorders	Acrotomophilia • Addiction • Agoraphobia • Alcoholism • Alexis Pilkington Syndrome • Alzheimer's • Anorexia • Antisocial personality disorder • Anthropophobia • Anxiety • ADD • ADHD • Asperger's Syndrome • Autism • Bimbofication • Bipolar • Borderline personality disorder • Bug Chasing • Bulimia • Cognitive dissonance • Deep thinker • Depression • Dick Impalement • Down's Syndrome • Dyslexia • Eating disorder • Factitious disorder • Fake Schizophrenia • Fauxlimia • Feminism • Gender dysphoria • Girl on the Internet Syndrome • Heterophobia • Hero Complex • HFA • Histrionic Personality Disorder • Hutchence's Syndrome • Hyperbolimia • Inadequacy • Inconsistent personality disorder • Insanity • Liberal Butthurt Syndrome • Liberalism • Low Self-esteem • 'Missing White Woman' Syndrome • Multiple personality disorder • Napoleon Complex • Narcissistic personality disorder • Neurotypical • Obsessive Compulsive Disorder • Paranoia • Paranoid personality disorder • Peter Pan Syndrome • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder • Psychopathy • Pyromania • Retardation • Schizophrenia • Seasonal Affective Disorder • Self-diagnosis • Self Injury • Sexsomnia • Sickfuckery • Sociopathy • Social anxiety disorder • Special Snowflake Syndrome • Terminological percipience disorder • Trolling Induced Transsexuality Syndrome • Tulpa • Unrealistic expectations • Victim complex
	Fetishes:	Acrotomophilia • Aquaphilia • Arborphilia • Audiophilia • Autogynephilia • Balloon Fetish • Bestiality • Carmen Electra complex • Cross Dressing • Dollfilia • Emetophilia • Emosexuality • Eproctophilia • Fatty Fetish (Female Fat Admirer) • Fetishism • Foot Fetish • Furniture Porn • Furrism • Goo girl • Guro • Heterophilia • Homophilia • Inflation Fetish • Japanophilia • Jungle Fever • Lesbian pedophilia • Lotion Play • Macrophilia • Maiesiophilia • Mechanophilia • Mpreg • Necrophilia • Objectophilia • Oedipial Complex • Paraphilia • Pedophilia • Plushophilia • Pregnant Loli • Pregnophilia • Quicksand Fetish • Rangerphilia • Spectrophilia • Statuephilia • Trichophilia • Voraphilia • Wet and Messy Fetishism • Wetlook • Xenophilia • Yellow fever • Zoophilia
	E-Psychosis:	Chronic Troll Syndrome • Deletionism • E-go • E-Psychiatrist • E-Psychiatry • ETD • Hivemind • I-Dosing • I have a 140 IQ • IRC Disease • Imaginary girlfriend • Internet Disease & Internet Disease Chart • Internet poverty delusions • Internet Rehab • Internet troll personality disorder • Mega ultra super genius • Nerdy Fandom Gateway Theory • Sex by association • Lulz-Blindness • Wikipedia's Greatest Hits Diseases
	Experiments:	ask.fm • Brainwashing • Hypnosis • Milgram Experiment • Scientology • Stanford Prison Experiment • The Hivemind Corollary
	Sites:	Above Top Secret • B/ • Bodies Under Siege • CYOC • Chatroulette • Defense Industries Organization • Deeker • FoolQuest.com • InkBunny • Neuticles.com • Psyke.org • WarpMyMind.com
	See also:	American Psychiatric Association • Anger • ASMR • Child abuse • Conscience • Dreams • DSM • Elan School • Enlightenment • Intelligence • Lobotomy • Mary Bell • Psychiatristy • Serial Killers • Take the meat bridge • The Law of Conformity • Trigger Warning