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Endless Online
Have you ever hated something with a passion? Have you ever despised something so much, you would go crazy knowing it exists? Welcome to Endless Online. With a community of asshats who will lovingly lick your e-Penis if you claim to be an admin.
What to expect while playing
- Begging.
- Kill Stealing
- Spamming
- Autoing
- Speeding
- Bitching on Global that you were hacked/scammed.
Essentially, it's a microcosm of society.
Also you can claim you're a hacker for 5000 points by downloading prepackaged programs that fuck over the game more with discovering new glitches and dupes.
Gameplay
Eventually you could kill monsters for gold, there's just one problem, finding a monster. Typical RPGs involve mind numbing tactics as you click your mouse for an hour killing monsters for experience. Endless Online takes a spin on this idea and makes monsters scarce, you will have to fight your way through crowds of people to attack the monster. Oh, and the majority of monsters rarely drop gold, even though its the main source of currency.
Graphics
There is a strange curve of sprite quality in this game. Some items are well shaded and look like they might belong in a game not made in a basement. Others look like a tard with MS paint created the game by shitting on a keyboard. The latter being the truth. Some monster designs are badass and should probably get more recognition.
The game also never runs into glitches
TL;DR So basically, you'd want to scald your eyes with bleach as soon as you see them.
The Economy
The main currency is gold. It's junk. everyone is funded. This is because cheaters duped a fucking skinned cat a over 9000 times, for at least a 100 years.
You can also pretend to be a g.i.r.l to get free stuff by scamming male fat pimply kids who think their l33t in game.
The Staff
An all-male group of people who all wear pink robes in-game and IRL. With the exception of one admin, they are all Nazis living in Sweden or something. Once or twice a year, the screeches, moans, and cries of agony get so annoying that the admins decide to log on and shut the players up for a little while. They mostly just wander around and show off their guns and pseudo-skills. The staff consists of the following lusers:
Vult-R
Leader of the bunch; he's just there to look like a pretty cool guy. He doesn't talk, attack, (or do anything at all). When this asshole does log on he only undoes everything that the other admins do (Opening the jail door and unwalling banned characters). He likes to have rampant buttsecks with his dog. Everyone fucking hates him.
UPDATE: He is now called PinkPonyMan or something like that.
Aengie
Some dumb whore who wanted to make it to Broadway, but didn't have the money. She started her showbiz career in the etc. etc. etc.. Also, she quit the taem.
Mizzy
A typical fugly DeviantART user. She thinks she's hot. Also, she quit the team.
Rexor
The local black person. Often rambles on about fried chicken on the forum, though tha werd on da streetz says he quit.
Arvid
The typical Child predator. If you're not under 18, and not a female, he's not interested. Usually goes on to put a few thousand schmucks in jail, which results in much lulz or just to save time, he'll shove you inside an inescapable wall. He will then log off, not to return for 100 years. This may sound surprising, but he stopped logging on.
Sakurakur
A black person who thinks she's azn. If her art didn't make you scream bloody murder, her ugly urkel face will definitely scare the living shit out of you. srsly. She also draws the most terrifying hentai you've seen. And CP.
Chafing
You'll notice that once you start playing, many people will be in the way. It's possible to get stuck in a crowd for quite a bit of time. Of course the admins don't care, they can walk through people, so it not their problem. Everybody is on one server, so try not to run into the other 300 players.
Rakuhana.org
Most of the main members of Endless Online don't even play the game; they visit the forums Rakuhana. The forums are a flame filled firey pit of hell. They are often stalked by trolls, grammar nazis, and camwhores. A new player is rarely welcomed, and are even less welcomed if they have bad grammar. Most topics involve retards asking obvious questions, and old forum users starting flame wars over stupid pointless shit. The Endless Online forums are also a place to find old memes, little boys, pedophiles, and 16-year old girls. On a scale of 1 to Gay, the forums rate a noteworthy Bearforce One.
soulness likes sucking cock - Flame him on the EO forumz.
The forums say a lot about the fags who play EO, especially when the moderators are too busy getting their asses pounded to do anything about the trolls.
At least 100 years ago the admins had a shittier server than they have now. The staff couldn't fap to shotacon in peace due to all the the weeaboos and homos bawwing about how they couldn't sit around show off their useless gear. (This was before they added a real combat system so none of the monsters had levels and could be killed in one hit regardless of what you had equipped.) So Vult-R and his gang of butt pirates decided to get a new server and went with one that was suspiciously blind, and didn't bother to read the fine print.
Long story short, Vult-R butthurt, threatens to sue. The developers gone for more than a month while they attempt to sue, meaning there was nobody to watch the forums for trolls, porn, and shit like that. Naturally trolls began to surface. Some were pretty straightforward and simply posted cocks, tits, and goatse. Others decided to settle in and cause drama over long periods of time, one of which was some faggot who started off trolling the forum with signatures of a white EO character whipping niggers picking cotton. With time he just got a little too comfortable there and became another weeaboo.
Eventually shit hit the fan and the forums erupted into anarchy, although most of the damage was done by the cock suckers who actually played the game. Various faggots started making threads about how they should be made into moderators so they could ban all of the people spamming, while others flooded the forums with what they called "nuke threads" in order to hide posts by people they didn't like. The other moderators would log on occasionally but they couldn't do shit because Vult-R was too damn stupid to give them the ability to ban people on the forum, so the most they could do was threaten the trolls.
Comics
As true with every single shitty game, Endless Online has its share of comics made by the retarded Players which are Anti-lulz and will make you want to gouge your fucking eyes out.. The jokes only make sense if you've played Endless Online for over 9000 years. Which no one ever has because the game is too boring and annoying as fuck.
The online community
The community is made up of niggers, nerds, An heroes, Internet tough guys (Oh, and did I mention niggers?) who hold their control key, and kill many of the thrilling monsters (Goatse, and Tentacles and Pedophiles, Oh my!) for great justice. They're known for threatening to punch you in the face over teh intrawebz if you dare try and steal their goat training spot; Some past times may also include circle jerking with their tiny e-Peen every time a new Naruto episode comes out on 4kids
PVP
There was a PVP function added at least 100 years ago by the programmers. It is hack-to-win sissy slap fest that is great for trolling moral fags that can't run script.
Trolling
The only fun to be had in this game is lulz at other people's expense aka trolling. How does it work?
- Kill steal goats in starting area.
- follow a random player around till they log out. Bonus points if you can keep up with a speed hacker.
- Speed hack in the pvp arena, bonus points if you link newfriends to lemonparty.org when they ask where you got your hacks.
- Find someone begging for gold> open trade with shit ton of gold >tell them brb don't go anywhere>???> Profit.
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Endless Online is part of a series on MMORPGs. | [Ding!] |