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Monica Punk

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HOLD IT! STEP THE FUCK OFF!
Monica Punk looks like shit but it is NOT a {{crapstub}}. It is a work in progress!
If you require assistance beefing up this article, then hit up the experts on our IRC.

Monica Punk is a fat, lesbian autistic with no job who lives at her mom's house, plays 20 instruments despite obviously having learned to play zaro, uploads 50 videos on YouTube a day and thinks she is in a gang despite the fact she calls the police crying when people troll her on the internet.

She epitomizes the type of fat retard creaming off other people's backs, who is so stupid she makes Sarah Palin actually look sane, and was so retarded she got banned from Hot Topic where she worked - the sort of person you would love to smack in the face - but never would for fear of loosing ones hands in her fat-folds.


You can take this job and stick it

Her pussy-eating face

Monica is a whale of a gal who is both as wide as she is boring, formally a Hot Topic employee, noted for their laziness. Since leaving this position she has decided to become a waste of space paid for by tax slaves to sit on her fat ass, explaining (badly) about how she got there in the first place, and why she can't be bothered working at all. She also thinks that she's somehow better than everybody else because she's lazy.

Her new lazy-ass vocation all kicked off when she posted a video in which she repeatedly says "...I just...don't want a job" and complains about how she was dropped from Hot Topic because she was too lazy to work there. She said a bunch of lulzy things as well, including a claim that she was all about "Fun and games" despite the fact that she's the most boring individual you will ever come across, and therefore the last person you would want to interact with.

Some of the other gems included:

   
 
I'm actually too lazy to die
 

 
 

—Monica Punk

   
 
When are you going to shut up and cook the dinner?
 

 
 

—What Monica's careers guidance councilor should be asking her.


And here it is, in all of it's glory:
The following video has been rated 'R' for 'Retarded' by ED film censors.



Of course, Monica never really understood in the first place that if you are on social security and you reveal to the entire world via Social Media that you are too lazy to even fucking think, somebody at social security will eventually take your moniez away due to the fact that you aren't fucking trying at all. Further Lulz occurred when upon seeing this video, social media justice warriors became involved, and told Monica to get a job like most people, and that she wasn't an artist as she was too lazy to even have a deviantart account - NOW THAT'S LAZY!

Stop bullying me! Baaawwwww!

Thug 4 lyfe

In full emo form, Monica produced a second video, because enraged social media warriors who had started flame wars on the youtube comments section, had told her to not be lazy and get a job.

What was amusing was Monica's half-assed attempt at producing a video asking people to not bully her because of her last video. For this video, which was such a lazy production, she didn't even move her lips, because she was expecting to get the court's answerphone system to do all the talking which also conveniently taking on her e-writ - taking all the work out of her complaint.

If Monica could only be outgoing enough to make a half decent lie, then perhaps she might be taken seriously - but she won't, so she is now left not only a fat cow, but a lolcow.

Unfortunately - like everything about Monica, she couldn't be bothered even doing that, and hung up and actually called 911. Riiiight - because they're going to run around for a fat, stupid, lazy chick who lies about her age - instead of catching burglars, murderers, or harassing Black people.


Monica again pertained that she wasn't sitting on her ass, but was "A musician, and artist y'know?" in order to waste police time - or not, as she was too lazy to answer the front door, she asked that the police didn't turn up. Probably because if they had, they would have notified social security who would have taken away all of her government moniez.

A series of these rants then followed on her youtube account, mainly hobo-esque rants, but the above selection included the following gem:

   
 
If you say shit about me...urgh...you are gonna owe me a bank
 

 
 

—Monica Punk, on methadone, again paid for by you



If Monica didn't weigh as much as the SS 'Oasis of the Seas', and hadn't been smashed over the head with an ugly tree-trunk at birth, then maybe she might have had something on Jessi Slaughter?


External links


Monica Punk is part of a series on YouTube.

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Monica Punk
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YouTube Ranters

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Monica Punk is part of a series on Dying Alone

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