- Portals
- The Current Year
- ED in the News
- Admins
- Help ED Rebuild
- Archive
- ED Bookmarklet
- Donate Bitcoin
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
Food: Difference between revisions
imported>Unknown Created page with " thumb|It's the [[American way '''BITCH''']] '''Food''' is what you eat when vaginas and cocks are no longer available. Eating food is [[America..." |
imported>JuniusThaddeus .com to .ch |
||
Line 1: | Line 1: | ||
[[Image:Burger king stacker.jpg|thumb|It's the [[American]] way '''BITCH''']] | [[Image:Burger king stacker.jpg|thumb|It's the [[American]] way '''BITCH''']] | ||
'''Food''' is what you eat when vaginas and cocks are no longer available. Eating food is [[America]]'s favorite pastime as it gives [[fat]] people their blubber. Enemy of [[eating disorder|anorexic]] [[16 year old girls]] and [[Breatharian|breatharians]] alike; food is vital to existence, without it we'd die. | '''Food''' is what you eat when vaginas and cocks are no longer available. Eating food is [[America]]'s favorite pastime as it gives [[fat]] people their blubber. Enemy of [[eating disorder|anorexic]] [[16 year old girls]] and [[Breatharian|breatharians]] alike; food is vital to existence, without it we'd die. | ||
Line 70: | Line 69: | ||
Image:A_VERY_SPLENDID_PICTURE.jpg|Some delicious German sausage. | Image:A_VERY_SPLENDID_PICTURE.jpg|Some delicious German sausage. | ||
Image:Mrbrains.jpg|Typical foreign food. | Image:Mrbrains.jpg|Typical foreign food. | ||
Image:Bite-dick blood.jpg|[[Cock|Not food]] except in [ | Image:Bite-dick blood.jpg|[[Cock|Not food]] except in [[:File:Taiwan.jpg|Taiwan]] or if you're [[Armin Meiwes]]. | ||
Image:Teadarlin.jpg|A spot of Tea | Image:Teadarlin.jpg|A spot of Tea | ||
</gallery>|<gallery> | </gallery>|<gallery> |
Revision as of 23:27, 14 May 2011
Food is what you eat when vaginas and cocks are no longer available. Eating food is America's favorite pastime as it gives fat people their blubber. Enemy of anorexic 16 year old girls and breatharians alike; food is vital to existence, without it we'd die.
Some people eat too much, others not enough, and others eat Goldilocks. It's a tragic thing. All food eventually becomes poop.
The History of Food
Once upon a time, food was healthy. People ate cheese and ham steaks with buttered cream sauce and followed it up with deep-fat-fried lard for dessert and, lo, it was good. Then, in 1972, scientists screwed everything up by reporting that unless you want to spend your thirty-fifth birthday clutching your chest and turning blue, you better live on tofu and wheatgrass juice. The American populace responded by giving the scientists the finger and becoming the most obese nation on Earth. (See also Nationalized Health Care) . When the cheerios saw him - tired and sitting down- they took the lead and went into all 3 holes. food struck back. Mushing the cheerios into what began to look like a stretched sphincter hole, food began to ass rape the cheerios with surprise buttsex. The Cheerios were shocked, disgusted, and began to retaliate. food maintained a strikingly strong hold with his cock and kept it in the asshole he had formed. The cheerios squirmed and screamed but could not escape the fiery wrath that was food's penis. food began to ram the Cheerios' asshole making it bleed bits of milk through the soft exterior of the grain.
Internets Food
Thousands of websites, blogs and forums exist for the purpose of discussing food because many people can't browse porn at work. These fall into different categories, some of which are not ten-step programs.
- Foods You Are Evil For Eating
- Alcoholics Anonymous Falsely claims that it is impossible to survive on malt whiskey and beer, something the Irish disprove every day.
- Oprah's Hit List of Pro-anorexia sites Sites that angered Oprah by announcing all food is the work of the devil. Sites contain helpful tips on sport vomiting, passing out, and calorie counts for oxygen. Oprah suggests we strike back by eating those with anorexia.
- Atkins Center Caused great rejoicing among all peoples when it announced the healthiest diet was twelve pounds of beef a day but no toast.
- Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine Jealous quack killjoys who say Atkins is a liar and that we should take out big fat life insurance policies on our loved ones if they are on his diet.
- Live Journal Food Communities
- Sample entry: "Well my mom always tells me "Krissi- you got more chins than a Chinese phonebook."
- Sample entry: "I'm sick and have no appetite! Nice! But the bad thing is I can't run..but I guess that's okay."
- Sample entry: "i want waffles and fried chicken and turkey lettuce and mustard wraps and cheese and spaghetti and cantaloupe and strawberries and steak and meatloaf and hashbrowns with eggs and....EVERYTHING ooOoo and frozen peas!"
- Sample entry: "I have to eat when im home cuzthere is always someone around watching me.....they are suspecting things cuz i go into the bathroom during the diner or something, and i actual do go to te bathroom not puke and they are asking me if im throwing up in there.....so if i wanna do that, which i have decided to stop doing i have to do it when no one is around which doesn't happen in this house..."
- Sample entry: "anyone have any funny purging stories?"
Even dogs are getting in on the food. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRyZJzZ85Ww
Where to get food
- Burger King
- KFC - If you're a black person.
- Taco Bell - If you're a basement dweller.
- McDonald's - If you're a fatty.
- Kitchen - Only if your mom is there to make the food for you, you pathetic fuck.
Gallery
-
Just like Mom used to make.
-
Some delicious German sausage.
-
Typical foreign food.
-
A spot of Tea
-
An appropriate use for food.
-
What some people do for food.
-
This passes as food for black person
-
How to get free food at McDonald's.
-
In Asia, animal cock is food.
-
Human cock is also food.
-
Mike Tyson's well advertised grill. He often uses the catchphrase "I'm so proud of it, I put my name on it!"
-
Some people even like to mix food with their favorite pastime. Or maybe it was just a dell that over heated
-
Food thief.
-
What.
-
Bird Food
-
Pineapple is good.
-
Bacon makes everything better.
-
Damn those really must be the best ribs in town.
Types of Food
- Potato
- Pizza and beer
- Borscht
- Vegetables
- Meat
- Liver
- Bacon and Eggs
- Ramen
- Sugar
- Chikins
- Watermelonz
- Shit ice cream
- Soup
- Pussy
- Delicious Cock
- Chocolate?
- Sandwich
- 100% Australian Steak
- Cake
- Pasta
- Cum
- Taco
- Pie
- Nuts
- Apple
See Also
- Fat
- Pro-ana
- Thinspiration
- Fauxlimia
- Eating disorder
- Food pyramid
- Cheddarvision. Moar exciting than watching paint dry. Follow the compelling story of a hueg wheel of cheddar cheese aging right befoar your very eyes; LIVE!
- Oprah Winfrey
- Paula Deen
- Ck/
- Subservient Chicken
Food is part of a series on Life [Go Live One] |
||||||||||
|