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Chihuahuas: Difference between revisions
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imported>Branman65 Added an aging section |
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The active posters in {{ljcomm|user=chihuahuas}} are generally middle-aged, [[overweight]], impulsive, assumptive animal rights activists who like to jump down anyone's throat. It is fairly easy to get on everyone's bad side by mentioning any of the following topics: | The active posters in {{ljcomm|user=chihuahuas}} are generally middle-aged, [[overweight]], impulsive, assumptive animal rights activists who like to jump down anyone's throat. It is fairly easy to get on everyone's bad side by mentioning any of the following topics: | ||
* [[ | * [[secks|Breeding]] chihuahuas | ||
* The term "teacup" | * The term "teacup" | ||
* [[Paris Hilton]] | * [[Paris Hilton]] | ||
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Chihuahuas were originally bred as "meat" dogs not as pets. According to [[AZNS|experts]] chihuahua flesh is the tastiest of dog meat. | Chihuahuas were originally bred as "meat" dogs not as pets. According to [[AZNS|experts]] chihuahua flesh is the tastiest of dog meat. | ||
Recipe: http://www.mj12.com/anson/recipes/chihuahua.html | Recipe: http://www.mj12.com/anson/recipes/chihuahua.html | ||
== aging == | |||
Chihuahuas typically live [[at least 100]] years, during this time they become so [[cripple|decrepit]] by the time they reach [[death]] there is barely any functioning dog left to cry over. so by the time they get old, they will be blind in both eyes, have one rotten tooth in their entire mouth, with severe arthritis, and struggling to breathe, and yet they’ll still be trying to bite [[your]] [[ass]]. | |||
== Gallery == | == Gallery == |
Revision as of 17:54, 19 September 2021
Chihuahuas are a species of large rat (rodentia rattus canis destructiva) which, owing to its relatively large size and disproportionately short tail, is often mistaken for a dog. Chihuahuas (aka Ratdogs) are the single most useless type of pet ever created by selective and degenerative inbreeding of multiple small mammal species, which at various times may have included small dogs.
Created for the lulz by dog breeders in 1308, the goal was to create a dog-like creature small enough to throw around a pub during drinking binges. The popularity of the Chihuahua is due to the need of both faggots and the idiot rich to highlight their utter idiocy.
Breeders get their lulz from chihuahua buyers being stupid enough to outlay up to thousands of dollars for one of these destructive untrainable pests. It is only months after purchasing one of these annoying vermin that the buyer realizes it would be easier to train an alligator to hum a Bach concerto in 3 part harmony than it would be to train a Chihuahua to perform even the most basic of dog commands.
Things Chihuahuas Can Do
BarkSqueak- Shit
- Whine
- Generate uncontrollable rage within the heart of a gentle man.
- Be thrown great distances.
- Become easy-to-swallow delicacies for pythons and boa constrictors.
- Assist in detecting polyps in old folks.
- Chew legs off tables, coverings from floors. holes in walls
- Pull all your towels off the bathroom towel rails and pee all over them
- Inflict thousands of dollars of damage before they reach one year of age
- Annoy the shit out of you
Things Chihuahuas Cannot Do
- Stop barking
- Play World of Warcraft
- Be a cat.
- Learn any commands
- Stop whining
- Bite your arch enemy's wiener off
- ?????
- Profit!
- Get you sex or a girlfriend
Moronic Fans
The active posters in chihuahuas are generally middle-aged, overweight, impulsive, assumptive animal rights activists who like to jump down anyone's throat. It is fairly easy to get on everyone's bad side by mentioning any of the following topics:
- Breeding chihuahuas
- The term "teacup"
- Paris Hilton
- Pet stores/breeders
- The ignorance of the Southern U.S.
Unless you volunteer at a shelter full time, donate most of your time and money to rescuing pound puppies, or automatically attack and harass members, you probably won't fit in. Also, this community is completely unmoderated.
Memorable example of typical harassment here
BALEETED.
Chihuahuas were originally bred as "meat" dogs not as pets. According to experts chihuahua flesh is the tastiest of dog meat. Recipe: http://www.mj12.com/anson/recipes/chihuahua.html
aging
Chihuahuas typically live at least 100 years, during this time they become so decrepit by the time they reach death there is barely any functioning dog left to cry over. so by the time they get old, they will be blind in both eyes, have one rotten tooth in their entire mouth, with severe arthritis, and struggling to breathe, and yet they’ll still be trying to bite your ass.
Gallery
A Video of The Horror
See Also