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Colt Gray: Difference between revisions
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Revision as of 20:54, 12 October 2024
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GREAT, ANOTHER DUMBASS WHO WANTS TO BE ADAM LANZA |
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STEP THE FUCK OFF! Colt Gray looks like shit but it is NOT a {{crapstub}}. It is a work in progress! If you require assistance beefing up this article, then hit up the experts on our IRC.
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Colt Gray is yet another mediocre mass shooting article. You can help by not writing articles on every boring edgelord that goes postal and reminding the author they aren't AlGore. |
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This article is about a person who is under 18 years old. You can help by knocking down their self esteem, telling them to stay in school and to get off of the Internets until then. |
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| Colt Gray | |
| Born | January 14, 2010 (14 years old) |
| Nationality: | Americunt 
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| Highscore | Killed 4, injured 9 |
| Top 50? | FUCK NO! |
| Style | FPS, Single player |
| An Hero? | No |
Colt Gray is some retarded 14-year-old kid who tried to shoot up his school, but only killed 4 people. In short, he's basically a whiny dumbass. His Shitcord username was Lanza in Russian. Clearly this kid has some fucking issues.
Due to his actions, people on social media have been spreading rumors about schools "being on a fucking list", or something like that. These rumors are indeed, pathetic attempts to gain fame, and be known as a faggot by friends or law enforcement.
High-Score Attempt
On September 4th, Colt made a call to 5 schools in the area, threatening them. (However this dumbass was only able to shoot up one of the planned schools.) His first target? Apalachee High School. After leaving his algebra class, grabbing his AR-15, and turning around, he fired 15 shots all over the place, none of which actually hit any targets.
He then FINALLY managed to wring out 4 frags, including an autistic nigger, a teacher who left the room like a retard and a handegg coach. Due to the panic button technology used at Apalachee, this already low-scoring run was stopped even earlier than expected by authorities and Colt was swiftly teleported to de_courthouse.
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Originz
Before this epic fail of America's favorite game, we must understand why dat son of a bitch Colty did this Revolty!
Colt "Smith And Wesson" Gray was born in 2009 or 2010 in Georgia making him a late Gen-Z aka the "School Shooting Generation" according to Time Magazine's article on the stoneman douglas protestors which we all know didn't do much fucking shit as a double digit school massacre occurred 3 months later in Texas in 2018!
Colt Gray had a rough life with supposedly many beatings from his own father (dad got eight counts of child cruelty) and growing up in shitty ass rural Georgia where guns are given to kids as candy. It is likely that Samuel Colt 22's parents were divorced which just adds more fuel to the fire. Because of these three things and a upcoming fourth thing we can finally know why this blondie ass fucker shot up the school....
He had a highscore obsession like other notable school shooters like Adam Lanza the bowlcut ass gun slinger who killed those kids at Sandy Hook that would've been older than Colt. After being most likely inspired by other good massacres like Sandy Hook and Parkland he decides to A. Keep it a Secret or B. TELL FUCKING EVERYONE ON A DISCORD GROUP. If you guessed B you deserve a free pizza Click here fat ass.
After this little act of lulz. Having the name Adam Lanza in Russian explaining that he'd want to do a mass shooting in a few years at a middle school and to commit suicide > this of course alerted the FBI & the party van comes to his house!
"Investigationz"
The FBI did little shit of course cause we know how they handled his idol years ago when Nikolas posted that YouTube comment. How Colty got out of this mess was saying that he was hacked into saying that and that it wasn't him. This of course allowed him to not be v& and of course commit his shitty "massacre"! He was obviously groomed by the FBI aswell.
Dad's Reaction
Instead of beating his son like usual or teaching him a good lesson about what you fucking say online or even sending the kid to a Psych Ward he decides to get him a Christmas present (AR-15) that would turn out to be deadly just like the Crumbleys have we fucking learned Americunts? Weird Kid + Gun + School = No No No
Victims ;(
- Richard Aspenwall, 39
- Algebra teacher who got subtracted! - Christina Irmie, 53 - Another Math teacher who got subtracted!
- Christian Angulo, 14
- Spic who will never work on roofs again. :( - Mason Schermerhorn, 14 - Niglet who had fond dreams of joining the NBA
Graded Score
| Kill count: | 4/20 |
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| Accuracy: | 6/20 9 injured |
| Style: | 5/20 Death threats |
| Butthurt: | 8/20 Got The Onion to post their "No Way to Prevent This" article for the first time since Robert Card |
| Bonus: | 5/20 Deadliest school shooting in Georgia |
Wanted Level:
Police Force
See Also
- Nikolas Cruz - A much better school shooter. Colt Gray wishes he was him.
External Links
