Carlos Ramero: Difference between revisions
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==The Nelson Mandela of Donkey Fuckers== | ==The Nelson Mandela of Donkey Fuckers== | ||
Being charged with donkey fucking one would think that laying low would be the best course of action, but you’d be wrong. As an out and proud donkey fucker he refused to be ashamed of his actions and talked openly with his fellow inmates of his Donkey Love. His fellow inmates were deeply touched, and even Bubba came out as a sheeplover, but this did not stop them from raping the shit out of him anyway. After starting a prison sheepfucker support group Carlos knew he needed to take this fight even further than Bubba had stretched his | Being charged with donkey fucking one would think that laying low would be the best course of action, but you’d be wrong. As an out and proud donkey fucker he refused to be ashamed of his actions and talked openly with his fellow inmates of his Donkey Love. His fellow inmates were deeply touched, and even Bubba came out as a sheeplover, but this did not stop them from raping the shit out of him anyway. After starting a prison sheepfucker support group Carlos knew he needed to take this fight even further than Bubba had stretched his asshole. Viewing himself as a political prisoner, Carlos did the smart thing and held a press conference to bring attention to his civil rights struggle. Despite the importance of this one-man stand against tyranny, only one reporter showed up but lulz ensued nonetheless. | ||
Carlos began the interview with a wave of BAWWWW let loose straight from his | Carlos began the interview with a wave of BAWWWW let loose straight from his sphincter. Carlos proceeded to blame everyone but himself for his problems. He claimed that Florida was " a backwards state and people frown on zoophilia here," and that they had “outlawed truelove” (despite bestiality being [[awwright]] all but 10 months ago), accused Geraldo of being a “peeping tom” that committed “an invasion of privacy” as this donkey show was pay-per-view (this flies in the face of the fact that Carlos was renting on the man’s property and had his bedroom window unobstructed with the lights on but facts have never stood in the way of donkey-love.), and thinks that, in spite of the lynch mob gathering for him, “authorities placed him in protective custody in a ploy to keep him away from Doodle.” | ||
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*He's been fucking horses since he was 18 because he likes their "feminine shape, behavior and raw power." | *He's been fucking horses since he was 18 because he likes their "feminine shape, behavior and raw power." | ||
*Animals make better lovers than people because people have been known to "stab you in the back, give you diseases, lie to you" and are "promiscuous" | *Animals make better lovers than people because people have been known to "stab you in the back, give you diseases, lie to you" and are "promiscuous". | ||
*Animals “are usually there for you" and "do not seek other pleasures." Their feelings are "100 percent honest" | *Animals “are usually there for you" and "do not seek other pleasures." Their feelings are "100 percent honest". | ||
*He had held off fucking Doodle and he had only molested her while clopping off because “she’s blooming into maturity” making him a donkey pedophile | *He had held off fucking Doodle and he had only molested her while clopping off because “she’s blooming into maturity” making him a donkey pedophile. | ||
==Fighting with the Internets== | ==Fighting with the Internets== | ||
Upon release he vowed to reunite with his precious Doodle and apparently feels the best way to accomplish this is to fight the internets. Carlos began a posting a lulzworthy blitz on his | Upon release he vowed to reunite with his precious Doodle and apparently feels the best way to accomplish this is to fight the internets. Carlos began a posting a lulzworthy blitz on his Huffington Post article to accomplish goals only known to him. Naturally netizen's everywhere responded with supportive enthusiasm. | ||
{{quote| Now that your looneybat face has been plastered all over the local news and Facebook, you are likely to find Ocala a much less hospitable place. If I were you, I'd worry less about your trial, and more about hiding your identity in this town.” | {{quote| Now that your looneybat face has been plastered all over the local news and Facebook, you are likely to find Ocala a much less hospitable place. If I were you, I'd worry less about your trial, and more about hiding your identity in this town.” |
Revision as of 05:16, 27 September 2012
Deep in the bowls of Florida lives Carlos Romero, a hard working farmhand and fulltime donkey fucker. He, like the majority of Floridians, is engaged in a loving, intimate, long-term relationship with his miniature donkey that he paid $500 USD for. While enjoying a mutual clop session with his mate, Doodle, a local troll spotted them and called the party V& and Carlos’ shining career as a civil rights trailblazer began.
The Night in Question
On a tepid august night, Geraldo Rivera was taking his beloved horse out to his farm for a night of vigorous lovemaking. After fucking the shit out of his horse, Geraldo was about to head home when he couldn’t help but notice the expertly lighted donkey porn shoot Carlos was orchestrating. Overcome with jealous lust for Doodle the donkey loli, he called the cops who waited a full 27 days to respond on 9-11, srsly. When asked why 9-11 the police responded, “There’s no better way to celebrate victory over the terrorists than traditional American donkey fucking.”
The Nelson Mandela of Donkey Fuckers
Being charged with donkey fucking one would think that laying low would be the best course of action, but you’d be wrong. As an out and proud donkey fucker he refused to be ashamed of his actions and talked openly with his fellow inmates of his Donkey Love. His fellow inmates were deeply touched, and even Bubba came out as a sheeplover, but this did not stop them from raping the shit out of him anyway. After starting a prison sheepfucker support group Carlos knew he needed to take this fight even further than Bubba had stretched his asshole. Viewing himself as a political prisoner, Carlos did the smart thing and held a press conference to bring attention to his civil rights struggle. Despite the importance of this one-man stand against tyranny, only one reporter showed up but lulz ensued nonetheless.
Carlos began the interview with a wave of BAWWWW let loose straight from his sphincter. Carlos proceeded to blame everyone but himself for his problems. He claimed that Florida was " a backwards state and people frown on zoophilia here," and that they had “outlawed truelove” (despite bestiality being awwright all but 10 months ago), accused Geraldo of being a “peeping tom” that committed “an invasion of privacy” as this donkey show was pay-per-view (this flies in the face of the fact that Carlos was renting on the man’s property and had his bedroom window unobstructed with the lights on but facts have never stood in the way of donkey-love.), and thinks that, in spite of the lynch mob gathering for him, “authorities placed him in protective custody in a ploy to keep him away from Doodle.”
Why Donkeys, Why Not?
Being unashamed and open about his lifestyle as a 1337 hardcore bronie it doesn’t take much to get him to talk about what he clops to and why.
The Facts from Ramero
- He's been fucking horses since he was 18 because he likes their "feminine shape, behavior and raw power."
- Animals make better lovers than people because people have been known to "stab you in the back, give you diseases, lie to you" and are "promiscuous".
- Animals “are usually there for you" and "do not seek other pleasures." Their feelings are "100 percent honest".
- He had held off fucking Doodle and he had only molested her while clopping off because “she’s blooming into maturity” making him a donkey pedophile.
Fighting with the Internets
Upon release he vowed to reunite with his precious Doodle and apparently feels the best way to accomplish this is to fight the internets. Carlos began a posting a lulzworthy blitz on his Huffington Post article to accomplish goals only known to him. Naturally netizen's everywhere responded with supportive enthusiasm.
— Ocala resident showing his "support" |
Carlos’ Rants:
—CR on the privacy of staging a donkey fuck in an open window. |
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