Food

Spermatozoa; recommended by the U.S. Surgeon General's office.

Food is what you eat when vaginas and cocks are no longer available. Eating food is America's favorite pastime as it gives fat people their blubber. Enemy of 16 year old girls and breatharians alike; food is vital to existence, without it we'd die. Some people eat too much, others not enough, regardless, all food eventually becomes poop.

History

Once upon a time, food was healthy. People blissfully ate burgers and steak, and followed it up with deep-fried lard for dessert. Then, in 1972, scientists screwed everything up by reporting that unless you want to spend your thirty-fifth birthday clutching your chest and turning blue, you better live on tofu and wheatgrass juice. The American populace responded by giving the scientists the finger and becoming the most obese nation on Earth.

On the internet

Because most internet-users are fat pieces of shit who can't look at porn while in work/school, thousands of websites, blogs and forums exist for the purpose of discussing food.

• PETA Suggests people subsist on their own secretions. Staffed entirely by furries, they are constantly monitored by the FBI who suspects them of plotting violent assault on hamster ranchers.

• Alcoholics Anonymous Falsely claims that it is impossible to survive on malt whiskey and beer, something the Irish disprove every day.

• Oprah's Hit List of Pro-anorexia sites Sites that angered Oprah by announcing all food is the work of the devil. Sites contain helpful tips on sport vomiting, passing out, and calorie counts for oxygen. Oprah suggests we strike back by eating those with anorexia.

• Atkins Center Caused great rejoicing among all peoples when it announced the healthiest diet was twelve pounds of beef a day but no toast.

• Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine Jealous quack killjoys who say Atkins is a liar and that we should take out big fat life insurance policies on our loved ones if they are on his diet.

Galleries

Meat About missing Pics

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  An appropriate use for food
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  Some delicious German sausage.
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  Bird Food

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  Ears are delicious
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  Everyone loves Mexican food!
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  It's the American way, bitch!
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  Turtle Soup is part of Shredder's balanced diet
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  Typical foreign food
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  Human cock is also food
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  Not food except in Taiwan or if you're Armin Meiwes.
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  In Asia, animal cock is food.
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  Mike Tyson's well advertised grill. He often uses the catchphrase "I'm so proud of it, I put my name on it!"
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  Some people even like to mix food with their favorite pastime. Or maybe it was just a dell that over heated
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  Food can be practical too.
• Well seasoned meat.
  Well seasoned meat.
• File:Penis taco.jpg
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Candy and other fattening shit About missing Pics

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  Spread generously...
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  Food thief
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  LOLCLAIR
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  No Lemon Party's complete without this tasty treat
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  festive cake.
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Fruits and Vegetables About missing Pics

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  Pineapple is good
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Miscellaneous About missing Pics

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  Warning: Cereal
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  There are no KFCs in Africa, which is why everyone there is starving
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  This passes as food for niggers
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  Jewish coasters.
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  A loaf is fine too...
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  How to get free food at McDonald's.
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  Food is served on a plate, and people often drool as they eat
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  The USDA Food Pyramid
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  Pepsi Generation
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Where to obtain Food

• Burger King
• KFC - if you're a nigger.
• Kitchen - if you still reside with your mom, you pathetic fuck.
• McDonald's - if you're a ty
• Taco Bell - if you're a basement dweller.
• Subway - if you're an overly effeminent faggot named Jared.

See Also

• Ck/
• Eating disorder
• Food pyramid
• Food Not Bombs
• Fat
• Fauxlimia
• Pro-ana

	Food is part of a series on Food and Drink [BleurghOm Nom Nom]
Food Bacon • Bacon and Eggs • Bread • Candwich • Cheeky Nando's • Chick-Fil-A • Fried Chicken • Chocolate Ice Cream • Cookies • Mayonnaise • Cupcake • Delicious Cake • Double Down • Green Onions • Ham • Honey Bunches of Oats • Hot Dogs and Sausages • Jesus Tortilla • Leeks • Liver • Meat • Pasta • Pears • Nutella • Pie • Pizza and Beer • Pork • Potato • Ramen • Sammich • Spaghettios • Subway • Sushi • Taco Bell • Topkek • Waffles • Watermelonz • Wendy's Superbar Drink Alcohol • Crystal Head Vodka • Coffee • Jizztini • Kool-AIDS • Milk • Mountain Dew • Pabst Blue Ribbon • Tentacle Grape • Whiskey • Wilkins Coffee Delicious Internets Ainsley Harriott • The Annoying Orange • BREADCRAB • Dancing Sandwich • Make me a sandwich • Food Pyramid • Gordon the Pringles Giraffe • Hypnocake • Loli Haet Pizza • Mershed Perderder • Sea Kittens • The Domino's YouTube Incident • Paula Deen • People eating fruit • Wikipedia's Greatest Hits Food • Растишка Not Fit For Consumption Amy's Baking Company • Andouillette • Armin Meiwes • Gordon Ramsay • HowToBasic • Jared Fogle • McDonalds • Pocky • Simply Sara • Subservient Chicken • Sugarless Gummy Bears • Calamari • The McNugget Burgler

	Food is part of a series on Life [BRB HugboxGo Live One]
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