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John Sakars: Difference between revisions
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[[File:sakarsfursuit.jpg|300px|thumb|right|John gets ready for some hardcore [[yiff|activism]].]] | [[File:sakarsfursuit.jpg|300px|thumb|right|John gets ready for some hardcore [[yiff|activism]].]] | ||
John Sakars is a [[vegan]] porn star, animal rights activist and [[lie|talented]] musician who enjoys violating | John Sakars is a [[vegan]] porn star, animal rights activist and [[lie|talented]] musician who enjoys violating YouTube's upload policy by posting videos of his sexy, wet, naked body. | ||
His favorite pastimes include drinking green smoothies, eating out [[ugly|beautiful]] vegan [[vagina]]s and having [[what|cats lick syrup off his tiny, malnourished penis]]. | |||
== Musical career == | == Musical career == | ||
Sakars is best known for his mad guitar skills. He knows about three chords and | Sakars is best known for his mad guitar skills. | ||
He knows about three chords and only uses one per song. | |||
John refuses to use any sort of mastering software and as such his voice is horribly untuned. | |||
Listening to more than two Sakars songs in one sitting has lead to [[cancer|brain tumors]], spontaneous abortions in pregnant women and runs the risk of turning the listener into a vegan. | |||
Sakar's [[lie|interesting]] voice is possibly a side effect of having his [[balls|testicles]] [[vasectomy|surgically removed]] which, thankfully, means he can never reproduce and create more mindless pro-vegans (assuming his dick ever actually penetrates a vagina at all). | |||
The lyrical content generally revolves around veganism, his [[penis]], [[gay|other men's penises]], [[bestiality]], and bathtubs. | |||
{{Videoframe|vf1|{{roundy|.9em}}background-color:pink;border:.5em solid hotpink;margin:0 auto 1em auto;|font-weight:bold; | {{Videoframe|vf1|{{roundy|.9em}}background-color:pink;border:.5em solid hotpink;margin:0 auto 1em auto;|font-weight:bold; | ||
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=== Videos === | === Videos === | ||
John also loves licking vegan vaginas, and has produced several softcore porn videos, all of which are hosted on his | John also loves licking vegan vaginas, and has produced several softcore porn videos, all of which are hosted on his YouTube channel. | ||
Somehow he is unaware of XTube, videos of him licking invisible genitalia, molesting vegetables and strip dancing are listed alongside videos of him protesting, interacting with the general public and sledding with his nephew. | |||
Sakars knows that vegan women secretly fantasize about him sticking his limp veggie dick in their assholes. | |||
Because of this, he believes it is his duty to cater towards them in his videos as he is way to busy masturbating to cats fucking to travel around the world reaping in the vegan pussy. | |||
If you are a [[faggot|homosexual]], it is perfectly acceptable to have fantasies of John licking your balls or your cock. | |||
{{Videoframe|vf2|{{roundy|.9em}}background-color:pink;border:.5em solid hotpink;margin:0 auto 1em auto;|font-weight:bold; | {{Videoframe|vf2|{{roundy|.9em}}background-color:pink;border:.5em solid hotpink;margin:0 auto 1em auto;|font-weight:bold; | ||
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|<youtube>g6Xj__V0XZw</youtube> | |<youtube>g6Xj__V0XZw</youtube> | ||
|<youtube>mpL2tFnYlQw</youtube> | |<youtube>mpL2tFnYlQw</youtube> | ||
}} | }} | ||
=== "Modeling" === | === "Modeling" === |
Revision as of 07:41, 1 April 2014
ATTENTION CARNISTS: This article is for VEGANS ONLY. If you want to hurt my animal friends, then FUCK OFF |
John Sakars is a vegan porn star, animal rights activist and talented musician who enjoys violating YouTube's upload policy by posting videos of his sexy, wet, naked body. His favorite pastimes include drinking green smoothies, eating out beautiful vegan vaginas and having cats lick syrup off his tiny, malnourished penis.
Musical career
Sakars is best known for his mad guitar skills. He knows about three chords and only uses one per song. John refuses to use any sort of mastering software and as such his voice is horribly untuned. Listening to more than two Sakars songs in one sitting has lead to brain tumors, spontaneous abortions in pregnant women and runs the risk of turning the listener into a vegan. Sakar's interesting voice is possibly a side effect of having his testicles surgically removed which, thankfully, means he can never reproduce and create more mindless pro-vegans (assuming his dick ever actually penetrates a vagina at all). The lyrical content generally revolves around veganism, his penis, other men's penises, bestiality, and bathtubs.
Previous Video | Next Video
Porn career
Videos
John also loves licking vegan vaginas, and has produced several softcore porn videos, all of which are hosted on his YouTube channel. Somehow he is unaware of XTube, videos of him licking invisible genitalia, molesting vegetables and strip dancing are listed alongside videos of him protesting, interacting with the general public and sledding with his nephew. Sakars knows that vegan women secretly fantasize about him sticking his limp veggie dick in their assholes. Because of this, he believes it is his duty to cater towards them in his videos as he is way to busy masturbating to cats fucking to travel around the world reaping in the vegan pussy. If you are a homosexual, it is perfectly acceptable to have fantasies of John licking your balls or your cock.
Previous Video | Next Video
"Modeling"
John has also modeled for nude photography, which is more or less an excuse to paint himself black in an attempt to make his microscopic penis look bigger. Get the entire book here!
Cat blowjobs
John has confessed to his love of combining his fetish for Canadian food products with animal sickfuckery.
Gallery
See also
External links
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