Space Station 13

Honk Honk!

Space Station 13 is a lulzy free to play murder simulator with a playerbase of thirteen year old boys, furfaggots and wizards running on the Rube Goldberg machine of a platform known as Byond.

Originally coded in 2003 by an someone named Exadv1, it only became playable when the turds from Something Awful showed up and began to fix the original pile of shit into a playable "game" complete with 16-bit graphics and a flaming 15fps! Soon after in 2010, the source code got released and 4chan's /tg/ smelled roleplay and flocked to it like flies to a pile of cow shit in July, quickly polishing the turd the goons had shat out and creating a new branch dubbed /tg/code. Furfaggots from Bay12 forums then sensed that ERP was manifesting in a game all too similarly autistic to their own and for the first time ever, stopped fapping to dogs and began to weave code like niggers in a plantation and produced the Baycode branch in the 30 seconds they had stopped fapping. Unsurprisingly Baycode was filled to the brim with new special snowflake races such as the infamous vox and other garbage. Around 2009 some weary /v/irgins found out about the game and stole bits of code like a Mexican in a Walmart until they had made a branch of their own, /v/station, until eventually just settling on stealing from bay before doing all of that again and evolving it into /vg/station.

Gamemodes usually revolve around a player being given a full pass to kill/steal everything, also known as being an "antagonist". These are selected randomly at round start and with luck it could even be you.

Lore

In 2055, a state of the art space station is erected in orbit around a gas giant by a monopoly known as Nanotrasen to research plasma. Inside the station are five departments detailed below, each with their own chain of command and assigned jobs. After a while some furry birds known as the vox show up and begin to steal shit and find employment with Nanotrasen who gladly accept free workers. On the other side of the galaxy are the syndicate, who want to steal Nanotrasen's research on plasma. Players are stuck in the middle of this shitfit and are tasked with the most complicated job of all, survive.

None of this shit actually matters and varies heavily from server to server, with places like bay Aurora taking it way too seriously

Departments

Security

An entire department of internet tough guys intent on stopping enemies of the corporation just like Judge Dredd and tardwrangling the unruly prisoners and assistants, often played by aspiring server jannies for those who don't feel like just ERPing with catgirl admins directly.

Science

Supposedly who actually research the plasma they were sent to research, in reality filled with trolls and gun/bomb building terrorists who never actually research stuff to help the station

Engineering

Because of the "state of the art" status of the station, an entire department of the station is dedicated to fixing security's fuck ups, but generally the jobs involve spending 2 hours autistically increasing plasma distribution cooling efficiency by 0.025% and more importantly, releasing a black hole eating the station for the lulz.

Medical

The hellish, blood and vomit stained department tasked with cleaning up the mess left behind from constant murder sprees and general bombings around the station, distracting these workers from more important duties such as getting high off of meth and making acids to spray at people.

Cargo

A useless department damned to ordering crates and metal for the rest of the station, eventually declaring themselves independent as cargonia and overthrowing the rest of the station.

Service

These jobs involve looking at the massive list of recipes on the wiki and forgetting 90% of them when the game is done. Also occasionally growing weed.

Civilian

The department of people still learning the fucked to hell controls, griefers and people who don't care about any of the hours long autism roles and just wanna gank people with toolboxes. Most notable for including the the following jobs:

• Clown - The de-facto mascot of this godforsaken game. All you have to do is honk and fuck with the rest of the crew. By far the best job to troll with, just drop banana peels and rape everyone until you get your brains bashed in by random chance.

• Assistant - You have no real job, your sole goal is to cause as much butthurt as humanly possible within the 15 seconds you stay alive and team up with other assistants in a phenomenon known as "Greytide". If caught when security, it's never your fault.

Command

Roles that only matter for RP or fancier toys to abuse other players with. Remember, it's always THEIR FAULT.

Prisoner

You are sentenced to life in prison which in reality is just for the round, but you get to be a real shot caller of the station, this role has massive potential for griefing, you can make shanks out of carrots by using a pen on them, or by wrapping a shard of glass with a sheet of cloth, you can grow plants such as bluespace tomatoes that you can use to teleport out of the prison wing, and combustible lemons which go BOOM, or Molotov Cocktails from contraband bottles of alcohol or even kombucha from the vending machines which you can craft into molotovs, oh and how could i forget spears and baseball bats. generally speaking though admins get butthurt if you try to escape or riot or even do a little bit of violence against shitty security officers as a prisoner because "HURR DURR UR NOT AN ANTAG" despite being a literal fucking prisoner, i mean that's some real bullshit (especially considering prisoners are pretty fun to RP realistically as), they give you so many options and yet if you choose to use any of them they will get pissy about it so in regards to this role, fuck the admins, do your worst.

Antagonists

By far the main reason to play this game:

Traitor

Your standard, boring pass to grief the round in any means you want, with a secret uplink stored in your PDA allowing you to buy even more powerful toys such as guns or the "emag", a card that breaks every machine in a 10 meter radius.

Wizard

By far the most powerful and annoying thing you can become. Run around with blatantly overpowered spells and blow up, slip, dismember and mutilate everything and EVERYONE around you, while being practically immune yourself. By far the biggest way to generate butthurt without being an admin.

Nuclear Operatives

GET DAT FUKKEN DISK!!!!1 Are in theory tasked with doing this, instead they just run around with a fuckton of broken and overpowered guns/armor and blow up the entire station.

Cultist, Vampire, Changeling, etc.

Same shit as above with different powers or goals, or being forced to work as a team and minimise casualties. Not as fun as the above.

Servers

Goonstation

The reason you play this game now. Origin of most of the game not looking like an MS paint vomited pile of shit, stayed closed source for a long ass time unlike other codebases until it was finally leaked twice in 2016 and 2020. Should be renamed to greystation because everyone who plays goonstation is a greytide nigger and probably an Among Us player. Originally had almost no RP servers and tons of grief/lulz, nowadays one of the least fun servers, with systems like chemistry and atmospherics entirely gutted and mean words like "trap" banned, until its removals were finally bested by...

/tg/TGstation

TG station bends the knee and becomes goon lite.

The alledged 4chan server, a bunch of retarded manchildren with a low amount of rules. The coders are too busy sucking their own dick to listen to the community, now removing even more features from goon such as cloning and about 90 fucking % of engineering. It's not full of as many degenerate furries as the other servers Screw that, now has a literal pseudo-furry race called "felinids" that every admin metaclub encourages playing as, but it's still pretty fucking gay tranny infested. It's run by this guy called MrStonedOne, who eventually himself cucked to the catgirl metaclub and banned being mean to other species and disliking melanated individuals, fully transforming the server into goon lite.

TG Derived servers

• Hippie Station For a while, the best and lulziest server to play on and the true murder simulator experience, until faggot admins kicked the original creator off and killed the entire server population. The old guard quickly moved to Beatnik Station, but it's currently unknown how long this lasted. Nowadays, its current owner, Wheezl, so desperate that they tried to buy /vg/station twice and failed.
• Citadel Station/Skyrat/Splurt/At least 100 others - Furries... Furries everywhere. Admins, players, coders.... all furries. It's the largest collection of faggots on Byond. Getting lulz from them is difficult due to just how retarded they all are. What you could do is learn the BYOND coding language then infiltrate the development team and get lulz from within when you remove erp.
• Beestation - A "beginner friendly" server with play-nice rules and an owner than supports antifa projects such as CHAZ.
• Fulpstation - Another newfag infested server, also advertised as being "beginner friendly", this time shat out of Newgrounds. Was once a good server, massively improving on the /tg/ codebase, then rotated admins so much that it now has nothing to do with it and is now ruled over by a mentally handicapped anti-lulz and anti-fun shitmin moderation team with massive double standards, with even old regulars like Oney banned now. They also don't do shit whenever you ahelp, and simply mark every report you make as an "IC issue" against someone else breaking the rules. (but they will be right up your ass if you go to enact revengeance on them) At least it has a good codebase though. Fun things to do on this server include killing moths, liggers, instigating ultraviolence and inciting prison riots. They have a tendency to ban for really stupid things, and if you get bwoinked they will annoy the shit out of you all the while try really hard to bait you into saying some shit to them or giving them a sideways comment so they can permaban you. Also if you do happen to make a sideways comment towards an admin or moderator they will get so offended by even the most offhand shit that they will permaban you, and good luck with your appeals as you can only appeal to be unbanned every 6 months and they are little niggers about it too meaning your appeal will get denied every time, not only that the dick riding admins here seem to get a kick out of being total shitters to even the best, most rule abiding and well behaved players.
• Kiwistation - Jersh's failed attempt at reclaiming gamer word rights from TG, eventually spiralled into no-RP anarchy causing jawsh to shut it down due to lack of interest. Also proposed removing most maps and the option to play as a woman.
• AuStation - Ausfag server, dead pop or minpop usually griefers with a murderboner.

Russian Speaking Servers

Often these have uniquely modified codebases that look cool but are never translated into english, the lousy ass russkies are as rife on SS13 as the furries and should be equally gulag'd.

Baystation

A ((((high rp)))) server where if you don't bend to the will of the admins or follow the shitty rules by the book then you get ban. Full of furries (not anymore anyway, it seems as though they have cleaned up their act!), Internet toughguys, and during lowpop hours idle/sleepy Americans and dykes flirting while force-extending the round for 8 hours just so they can use the server as a chatroom for flirting with eachother and Bar RPing in the main ship's cafeteria. For maximum lulz go on there and genocide anyone with a tail and justify it with some deep emotional reason to why you hate furfags or just play the game as a decent, well made character. This server has permadeath enabled which is brutal because once you're dead or have been killed that's it, no coming back, it's still high RP, during the American day time hours is generally highly populated and then deserted during the European day time hours. They are, like goon, TG, and all things current year, "trans inclusionary" to the point where admins might act like the PC principal from South Park just for LOOC telling the only character on the same entire planet as you who just so happens to be a "they/them" to not be fucking idle because it's their idleness and disinterest in playing that is ruining the server. (srsly what's the point in joining a round as a role that has another player you are required to work with just to sit there and do nothing and go idle???)

Bay derived servers

• /vg/station - The one true 4chan server, derived strangely from bay and not TG, not on the hub due to borderline sekrit club mentality like lifeweb. (without being almost impossible to get into) Unlike other servers, encourages the players to kill "catbeasts", making it pretty lulzy. The graphics and mechanics are known to players of other servers for being "ugly" and "outdated", (read: not garish or nerfed to hell) yet occasionally gets overrun by some of the most obnoxious players in the entire game since it's one of the few server that allows these gamer word refugees from elsewhere. Is run by a literal chicken known as Pomf.
• Vore station - Exactly what you think it is. An entire furry server focused on this fetish. Not as actually popular as the other furry ERP servers, thankfully. Moar info below:

• Aurorastation - Based on the Baystation codebase but heavily modified, rife with non ERPing furries and overbearing admins, so do your worst.

Colonial Marines CM-SS13

An average player/admin of CM-SS13, described in detail.

A combat focused server that takes the lore of Alien franchise. This actually got them in trouble when a Fox lawyer contacted them because they were stealing the franchise or something. the server is closed source and they protect the code like their child even though its garbage. Feweh is a retarded Canadian who also happened to be a head administrator until people found out he had 11 alternate reddit accounts. Also just as apophis left he just gave the source code to harcourt for even more lolz. (Which harcourt promptly spread) Until recently the owner was Apophis who turned out to be a pedophile who worked at a school and fapped to Shota. He got doxxed for maximum lolz and got investigated by the fbi. Now the server is run by two retarded brothers.

Paradise

The ultimate HIGH RP server which has maximum RP rules. The best place for lulz, just insult anyone and they will cry to an admin. Half of the developers are furries.

Yogstation13

A medium roleplay server thats full of fags and admins that are too busy circle jerking to do their job. Its surprising that it's still alive.

Lifeweb

A typical roleplay requirement for Lifeweb.

A super secret server that you have to pay to get into if you're a newfag. Its like medieval crossed with sci-fi crossed with rape. ты знаешь, сколько я сосать. Run by this crazy russian called Randy Sandy. You can also pay to play as a trap. If you want to get instab& from lifeweb, just say nigger IC, the result of which is actually fucking hilarious, you can get away with saying it OOC though surprisingly enough. a known clone of Lifeweb is known as Farweb, reportedly less rapey but has just as much murderboning.

The saga of Randy Sandy

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Lifeweb Spinoffs

the following servers are unrelated to Lifeweb itself, but their codebases are derived from lifeweb and heavily modified.

A meme inspired by actual roguetown gameplay

• Roguetown - A fantasy RPG themed laggy ass server based on a modified lifeweb code and just as janky, with elves and dwarves. You know what to do here guys. (KILL THE ELVES, SLAY THE ELVES DESTROY THE ELVES!!1) When this server was launched, literally everyone declared a race war on the elves and elf sympathizers. Some tinfoil hat wearers have speculated that this server is some kind of MKULTRA CIA glownigger psyop, concocting many conspiracy theories and a roguetown iceberg. For maximum lulz, kill all elves; and if the king is an elf, then assassinate him.
• Rogueworld - A short lived more open world derivative of the original roguetown. with an expansive, difficult to traverse map and with all players spread out across it's entirety. It added more of a survival aspect to roguetown: the true hardcore survivalists would make their character's eyes red in character setup to identify eachother as cannibals, then they would band together and murderbone entire settlements and feast upon their flesh and organs. Think Rust meets SS13 with a hearty splash of DnD styled fantasy.

Typical roguetown gameplay

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SCP13

It's an SCP based server and it could have been good if the CODER WASN'T KACHNOV.

Lebensraum

The WW2 server that's run by this guy called harcourt. He's a total retard and atleast once a month he ends up crashing the server. He also is a disgusting pole and hates jews on heelys. Lebensraum is a good server if its NOT LAGGING ALL THE TIME. Though harcourt promises he's trying to fix it.

Fallout Servers

More often than not these are servers that would be pretty cool if they weren't degenerate and ERP infested and now FURRY ERP infested , where you can at least raep other players (Bad Deathclaw for example). Not all the Fallout servers are bad; some of them are actually near decent, and some of them are good but run by shitty admins pandering to shitty players. One such example was Fallout Lonestar, where a character named Theresa, a great khan metagrudged another great khan for being a cannibal, yet opened up a fucking diner right across from the legion's encampment, clearly this person has never played a Fallout game; apparently they were butthurt because they were writing some stupid shitty character arc which is stupid to begin with considering they didn't even know how to RP properly, and they got away with this shittery too because they were sucking the admin's cocks. These servers have potential but usually end up crashing and burning like 9/11 and because of all the cancer associated with these servers, most players who enjoy both space station 13 and fallout now have alarm bells going off in their heads when they see a new fallout server and red flags start waving, so they figure it's best to avoid them like the plague as they will likely be very disappointed.

furfag fallout servers

• The Sunset Wasteland
• Coyote Bayou

a war is being waged between the GLA (Ghoul Liberation Alliance) and the furries on these servers, these ghouls have the capability of ghoulifying the furfags resulting in massive amounts of butthurt. The GLA has it in mind that all ERPers shall be slaughtered and all furfags ghoulified.

Important terminology

• Adminhelp/AHELP - The chat for where butthurt players complain about your lulz rampage or suck feminine catgirl dick in hopes to become wielders of the banhammer themselves.
• Shitcurity/Shitsec - A term used for actual good sec players who beat the living fuck out of lowly assistants, prisoners, v*x or clowns.
• Adminbus - Originally "ADMIN ABUSE", this is now a term for admins that, unlike in most games or even other servers in some cases, act extremely lulzy and do shit like drop bombs and singularities into rounds.
• Comdom - Captains that make the entire station their bitch.
• Metagaming/Metacomms/Metaclub - Working with other people in secret to gangbang entire servers with grief, often causes permabans due to maximum butthurt.
• Metagrudging/Metagrudge - When a player grudges (often by killing them) another player for something they did a previous round/shift.
• IC/In Character - In-game chat where characters speak as they do in-round, only heard when nearby or over radios in-game, if any. Encouragement of tone varies from server to server, with high RP servers b&ing for misused punctuation to low RP servers being full of characters spamming unfunny near-instant dated memes.
• OOC/Out of Character - The other chat that uses your BYOND ckey to identify you and is visible to all, basically the server's lobby chat and not in character.
• ICK OCK - Commonly shouted out in OOC chat when round information is revealed here. In other words, you should always do this.
• LOOC/Local Out of Character - A local form of OOC which can only be seen by players nearby you, best used for metagrudging or, more boringly, teaching people how to use the aforementioned fucked-to-hell controls. (and also by nosey admins) A lot more useful than standard OOC to say the least.
• Low RP/LRP - Servers where you can get away with being a total shitter, basically LRP servers exist as player containment zones because of SS13's serious plague of shitty admins.
• No RP - An almost mythically rare version of the above with even less rules, allowing almost everything usually short of ICK OCK, but sadly this much lulz is too much for the newer player base.
• Medium RP/MRP - LRP servers pretending to be above servers that advertise as LRP, often managed by shitty dickriding, anti-fun admins.
• High RP/HRP - High RP servers, often varying in quality from forcing players to play their job dead serious and not have any fun to outright policing you for not routinely patrolling your job area or something for the entire 8 hours of a round's mandated length.
• Erotic roleplay/ERP - Servers that are rife with degenerates and furfags. Most of these servers disable antagonists and any form of lulz altogether to facilitate this, so go grief the everlulzing shit out of them to retribute that.
• Antag - The antagonist, as covered above.
• Self Antag/Self Antagging - A term used by butthurt admins against non-antag players who decide to get a little violent for whatever reason.
• Shift - What the round you are playing is referred to as in game.

Ways to troll servers

• Form a gang of Humans to Kill all vox/catbeast/whatever else furry race players while shouting loudly about how much you hate them. Bonus points for using spray cans to spraypaint "yiff in hell" on the floor tiles.
• Make huge bombs and destroy the station with them. PROTIP: 170C plasma -100C oxygen.
• Blow shit up near sensitive engines like supermatter.
• Release plasma in the halls and then light it on fire.
• Delete all the research from the servers.
• Throw all of the surgery tools into disposals.
• Block people off with walls, wait for cries of FUCKING RETARDS DELETE THIS. Bonus points for stealing any tools that help them break out.
• Subvert the AI so that it kills all humans.
• Edit the javascript in popup windows to spawn singularities with pipe dispensers or whatever else works.
• Detonate multiple bombs at the same time.
• Tell people who the antagonists are in OOC chat.
• Kill yourself, become a ghost, come back to life and tell everyone in the round who the antagonists are.
• Say anything negative about furry or tranny admins or players at all.
• Play as the AI and use the TTS to say retarded shit that annoys everyone who hears it.
• Build a flamethrower on any furry server and go postal.
• Make a better quality server than other already existing servers and steal their best players, killing off their inferior servers and all the while making their shitmins butthurt. By and far the most common and reliable technique out of any tried in this list.

Famous People

Cuban Pete / rosham

A successful troll who learned how to make a bomb so large it crashed the server. The bug was soon fixed by anally annihilated coders and admins, capping bombs at a meager radius of 7 tiles. Many servers now pay tribute to this lad with exploding maracas items and even his own licensed arcade game, Outbomb Cuban Pete, which gives you a giant bomb for beating it.

"Fuck you" Duny

An easy to milk gay frog lolcow from /vg/station who hates trolls and anyone who questions his massive ego boner.

Shoe Snatchin' Willy

Another successful troll from /vg/station who stole an entire severs shoes off of their characters and proceeded to murder them all, survive the admins attempts to cheat, and fight the game itself.

George Melons

Possibly one of the oldest successful trolls. He killed all of goonstation every single round because the goonstation admins thought it was really funny and let him do it. Claims to have killed everyone in every conceivable way and probably did. Recently came back to SS13 a few months back bragging about his old days only to find the current playerbase not caring.

Stoovan / Mastaflips

A big fucking retard who thinks lifeweb is out to get him. Also makes a total ass of himself on discord.

Apophis

A fucking child predator. Goes by Apophis775 and freeyourmind775. Ran the CM server until someone doxxed him and found his Sims forum account where he was asking for mods to uncensor children (a Shota mod). Further research found his rule34 page where he posted a picture of Johnny Test Shota porn. AND EVEN MORE research found that he teaches game design at a SCHOOL. When the news broke he tried to deny it and went to one of the forums and made a request to have the profile taken down. Too bad that showed up publicly. This was the nail in the coffin and Apophis retreated never to be seen again.

Optimumtact / Oranges

A coder for /tg/ station who is basicly disillusioned with the community and only does work for tg because he likes the pain.

Iamgoofball

Yet another /tg/ coder who makes extremely unpopular decisions to remove lulzy features of the game to piss off the userbase.

Noah Goldstrom / NoahGoldFox

A highly autistic and once underage b& furfag who constantly shoves his shit fetishes into almost EVERY server in the game, eventually getting banned from most of them. Not even the furfag ERP servers want him around.

Videos

The video that started the entire current wave of newfags

Crashing servers with exploits

More lulz with exploits

The state of modern SS13 servers

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Links

• How to play on goon
• How to play on TG
• Guide on ban evading for infinite lulz on any server
• Where to download the broken engine in hope you can achieve greatness!

See also

• Kerbal Space Program - Another game involving retards in space, some SS13 dev even worked on this before.
• Dwarf Fortress - A similar overly complex game with shit graphics and controls.
• Autism - Required to play on any server.
• Furries - See above.
• Moonbase Alpha - More retards spouting memes at each other in space.
• Among Us - A shitty dumbed down ripoff played mostly by females, retards, children and an assortment of mentally handicapped individuals who are too retarded to learn how to do anything at all in SS13, needless to say this game sucks and SS13 is an infinitely superior game (regardless of furfags and broken bloated server code) considering that it wasn't designed to be played by clueless morons.

Space Station 13 is part of a series on Gaming Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.