Kombucha

Kombucha is a lulzy and questionably stupid drink only savored by hipsters, white people, and those that wear problem glasses. While it is purported for its "health properties", many of these claims have gone unproven and is hilariously questioned of how this is consumed to this day.

What is Kombucha

Kombucha is the equivalent of the rich upper class White people version of Jenkem made by sealing a bunch of seaweed and bacteria culture in a jar and letting it ferment to make a tea out of it. No, we're dead fucking serious. That is what Kombucha is. Where Jenkem is made to get high off of, Kombucha is made for unproven and unsubstantiated claims of health improvement and medicinal effects, to where a bunch of people are willing to shill out $50 for a jug of this shit.

Origins of Kombucha

Just so we can see every inane weeaboo gut themselves open with their cheap mall katana, Kombucha is allegedly not from Japan, but said to come from Russia back in the early 1900s. Due to its alleged status however, it is virtually unknown without any true source of who or how this ever got conceived. Experts say that Kombucha is likely from some dumbasses' Japanophilia and is from a poetic and allegorical term from Japan of a tea that makes a film like Kombu when it is boiled.

Side Effects and Warnings

Kombucha, despite how stupid it is, is just as fetid and foul as Jenkem, and some people IRL have literally died drinking this shit due to the bacteria and microbiotic cultures within are crazy fucking incompatible with a human being's immune system. It is also one of the worst forms of alcohol accidentally ever made and people who do buy it have to present ID just to buy this shit. Again, why the fuck does this exist?

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