Carlos Romero

Donkey Fucker and proud of it!

Deep in the bowels of Florida lives Carlos Romero, a hard working farmhand and fulltime donkey fucker. He, like the majority of Floridians, is engaged in a loving, intimate, long-term relationship with his miniature donkey that he paid $500 USD for. While enjoying a mutual clop session with his mate, Doodle, a local troll spotted them and called the cops and Carlos got party V&. Because of this, his shining career as a civil rights trailblazer began.

The Night in Question

On a tepid August night, Geraldo Rivera was taking his beloved horse out to his farm for a night of vigorous lovemaking. After fucking the shit out of his horse, Geraldo was about to head home when he couldn’t help but notice the expertly lighted donkey porn shoot Carlos was orchestrating. Overcome with jealous lust for Doodle the donkey loli, he called the cops who waited a full 27 days to respond on 9-11, srsly. When asked why the police responded, “There’s no better way to celebrate victory over the terrorists than traditional American donkey fucking.”

Dat Ass!

The Nelson Mandela of Donkey Fuckers

Being charged with donkey fucking one would think that laying low would be the best course of action, but you’d be wrong. As an out and proud donkey fucker he refused to be ashamed of his actions and talked openly with his fellow inmates of his Donkey Love. His fellow inmates were deeply touched, and even Bubba came out as a sheeplover, but this did not stop them from raping the shit out of him anyway. After starting a prison sheepfucker support group Carlos knew he needed to take this fight even further than Bubba had stretched his asshole. Viewing himself as a political prisoner, Carlos did the smart thing and held a press conference to bring attention to his civil rights struggle. Despite the importance of this one-man stand against tyranny, only one reporter showed up but lulz ensued nonetheless.

Carlos began the interview with a wave of BAWWWW let loose straight from his sphincter. Carlos proceeded to blame everyone but himself for his problems. He claimed that Florida was " a backwards state and people frown on zoophilia here," and that they had “outlawed truelove” (despite bestiality being awwright all but 10 months ago), accused Geraldo of being a “peeping tom” that committed “an invasion of privacy” as this donkey show was pay-per-view (this flies in the face of the fact that Carlos was renting on the man’s property and had his bedroom window unobstructed with the lights on but facts have never stood in the way of donkey-love.), and thinks that, in spite of the lynch mob gathering for him, “authorities placed him in protective custody in a ploy to keep him away from Doodle.”

Why Donkeys, Why Not?

Being unashamed and open about his lifestyle as a 1337 hardcore bronie it doesn’t take much to get him to talk about what he clops to and why.

His first love

The Facts from Ramero

• He's been fucking horses since he was 18 because he likes their "feminine shape, behavior and raw power."

• Animals make better lovers than people because people have been known to "stab you in the back, give you diseases, lie to you" and are "promiscuous".

• Animals “are usually there for you" and "do not seek other pleasures." Their feelings are "100 percent honest".

• He had held off fucking Doodle and he had only molested her while clopping off because “she’s blooming into maturity” making him a donkey pedophile.

• He loves nothing more than "the feeling of Doodle's fur on my bare testicles."

Fighting with the Internets

Upon release he vowed to reunite with his precious Doodle and apparently feels the best way to accomplish this is to fight the internets. Carlos began a posting a lulzworthy blitz on his Huffington Post article to accomplish goals only known to him. Naturally netizens everywhere responded with supportive enthusiasm.

This photo was littered around Ocala county.

	“	Now that your looneybat face has been plastered all over the local news and Facebook, you are likely to find Ocala a much less hospitable place. If I were you, I'd worry less about your trial, and more about hiding your identity in this town.”	„
	— Ocala resident showing his "support"

Carlos’ Rants:

	“	If I give up, It'll set a terrible precedent and will allow anybody to spy on you anywhere for any reason. The fruit of the poison tree dismissal is on my side and prosecution cant use "it'll eventually be found" counter like a murder or fire. To have 12 jurors unanimously say there is no longer a right to privacy in ones own bedroom, then I'll deal with the consequence.	„
	—CR on the privacy of staging a donkey fuck in an open window.

	“	It was actually hilarious, I was brutally honest when they asked "whatcha in for?". Complete disbelief at first until somebody made a girlfriend call who checked out mugshots of ocala. What really broke the ice is a conversation that happened a day before I arrived about what somebody "heard" about the anatomy of a ewe sheep.	„
	— CR on bonding with his gang rapists over sheepfucking.

	“	“The memory of the face of the prosecutor, come that time, I'm sure will always be in my memory. There is a chance that this case will disappear if charges are dropped and my donkey love is returned safely, otherwise I already have the evidence I need to go to a full jury trial. This case might even allow me to develop my own vacant land into a farm at a much faster pace than I anticipated.	„
	— CR explaining how this case will provide him with own farm after vowing vengeance and donkey love.

	“	Sitting in jail with the general population gave me a chance to come out of the closet instead of denial, and even there it was greeted with more curiosity and a bit of childish snickering with no hatred and wanting to hurt me. But hatred is the guy who saw me through the window, who decided a month later to tell police in an attempt to hurt me because he wasn't getting his way, he will be on the witness stand under oath to confess his crimes for all to see.	„
	— CR on on what it was like to come out as a donkey pedo on 9/11.

	“	“Through a crack on the side of an otherwise covered window at night. PS It was legal for 166 years in Florida until 10 months ago. PS I didn't get the memo.”	„
	— CR admitting that he was engaged in illegal activities in an uncovered window.

	“	“For a female equine 12-15 months to as late as 18 months is puberty, 24 months is breeding age for a high rate of success foaling at 35 months for light breeds, when bone fissure closing is complete. 18-21 months is when a racehorse goes into training to begin racing at 2 years old, with 5 year olds considered too old to race at many tracks.”	„
	— CR informing bronies about horse loli.

	“	“The issue at hand will not be having sex with animals, it will be bedroom privacy. If I get convicted then all Floridians expectation of privacy will be effectively nullified. There is a dire consequence to passing laws without debate just because its icky or emotional, just look at the legalization of groping children by the TSA. Think hard about this folks and make the choice of having a few private non-abusive zoophiles or having a safe haven for voyeurism by anyone for any reason under the guise of looking for anybody having contact with animals. Contact your lawmakers before this case goes to trial or 1984 will be here. Many thanks to 2014 Gov. Hopeful, Sen. Nan Rich and Gov. Rick Scott for allowing this to happen.”	„
	—CR calling asking his fellow citizens to turn Florida into a donkey fucker pedo's paradise.

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Links

• Carlos adding to the lulz by defending Zoophilia

• Mugshot and Police-report

• Exclusive interview from a gulag

• His Myspace