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Kiwi Farms: Difference between revisions
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{{info|The current link for Kiwi Farms is '''https://kiwifarms.st/'''.<br>If that link doesn't work or is slow, visit [https://kiwifarmsaaf4t2h7gc3dfc5ojhmqruw2nit3uejrpiagrxeuxiyxcyd.onion/ Kiwi Farms's Tor hidden service].}} | |||
[[ | [[File:Kiwicomicheader.png|thumb|right|link=]] | ||
[[File:Chrisandjoshuashalom.jpg|thumb|[[Ichverbot|Joshua]], protector of [[Chris-chan|Chris]].]] | |||
[[File:Joshchrisautismtears.jpg|thumb|Have [[YOU]] shed a tear for Autism today?]] | |||
[[File:Kiwifarms Null.png|thumb|Null is a [[fat|handsome]], [[ugly|debonair]] tween who enjoys [[raping|taking]] preschoolers on dates at the local Putt-Putt, [[never drinking again|which they surely don't regret later]]. ]] | |||
[[File:Callingnoolsenpaiout.jpg|thumb|right|calling [[null]] out as a [[pedophile]] on his own [[Kiwifarms]].]] | |||
[[File:Null Reads PMs.jpg|thumb|While posting a user's private messages, Null tends to fondle himself with his mother's breast milk.]] | |||
[[File:KiwisCanOnlyHaveKiwisHasFriends.png|thumb|As usual, the admin is an incredibly [[jealous|understanding]] [[beta|friend]] to everyone at Kiwi Farms.]] | |||
[[File:Null butthurt about cow.png|thumb|You hate a rival site more than anything else. What do you do? [[Retard|Give them more traffic]]]] | |||
Run by [[Ichverbot|Null]], the '''Kiwi Farms''' is quite the lovely internet forum board consisting of a user base that was so [[Aspergers|frustrated that their favorite show on Nickelodeon got cancelled]] that they decided to seclude themselves from the outside world and create a [[Navy|sprite-and-semen]] cocktail known as the [[Chris Chan|CWCki]]. Each user had evolved from being [[virgins|those who were simply curious about Chris Chan]] to being a [[Real Life Super Hero#DANGERMAN|top internet sleuth]], using the formidable power of Google's engines to bring [[Computer Science III|terror in the form of elite cyberhacking]] and [[Girl Drama|serious consequences for rousing their fury]] to all who oppose their mighty keyboards. They were known for being as equally [[retarded|talented]] as their stalk victims, posting endless threads about "[[edgy|lolcows]]", and [[lol|using the forum as their personal Wordpress due to not having anyone else to talk to about getting fired from Pizza Hut]]. Many users were noted to have some kind of [[self-diagnosed|mental illness]], so please do not attempt to approach them without [[7 Proxies|taking proper precautions]]. | |||
Eventually, someone threatened [[Null|Null's]] family and he ran off like the pussy he is. Enemies of Null, such as [[Vordrak]] and [[Oliver D. Smith]] cheered and claimed to be responsible for the "victory," when suddenly the site came back online, and their vengeful rage was felt all around the world. | |||
Unlike the græt [[Encyclopædia Dramatica]], which is [[Goatse|always open]] to [[Faggots|new users]], the Kiwi Farms are [[Pool's Closed|closed to new users]] about half of the time; due to either [[lulz]] reaching high levels (remember that the Farms are a [[hugbox]], unlike the [[EDF6|ED Forums]]), or because the admins are [[retarded]]. | |||
Kiwi Farms in a nutshell can either be seen as the last bastion of freedom of speech or as retarded gayops for coping TERFs and incels. As of <strike>2022</strike> <strike>2023</strike> going on 2024, the site has been pushed to the dark web for attacking and deadnaming trannies. | |||
https:// | [[File:wearethelolcow.png|center|link=]] | ||
[[File:KiwiFarms_nofunzone.jpg|thumb|Kiwi Farms does not appreciate any deviation from their lolcows, other than when complaining about how awful their [[McDonalds|Nutritional Scientist jobs]] are and [[daddy issues|how their families don't understand them.]] ]] | |||
== A Prequel to Epic Failure == | |||
The users of the CWCki forums [[slowpoke|eventually]] realized that their [[Chris Chan|object of affection]] was not the only person on the internet who could provide them with the [[lulz|lulz]] they so desperately crave, so they followed the path of their beloved [[EDF2: Electric Boogaloo|senpai]] once more and expanded the forums to include other special individuals. This proved to be mildly confusing to the users, who cried out in one voice, "I DO NOT LIKE CHANGE" and nervously clutched their Life Alert buttons. [[Shit nobody cares about|The forum was then renamed to "Kiwi Farms", a very rough phonetic approximation with a dash of imagination of "CWCki Forums", in February 2015 by some]] [[retard|amazing individual]]. | |||
Null gradually took over Kiwi Farms' forum as other people with were arrested by the FBI and moved on to long prison terms to get ass-raped. He spends all his time making sure that there is no fun to be had on the forums as well as helping everyone on his site lose weight by drinking no less than 37 Coke Zeros a day. Currently some of the old mods from that era reside in a website known as cwcki.club which is a semi dead but active forum ran by Glaive and Hellrasier | |||
==How the Average [[Faggot|Kiwi Farms User]] Spent Their Day == | |||
Everyone on the KF website had sob stories about being molested, so you can guarantee some of their internal wiring has come loose. They stalked and cataloged people they repetitively refered to as [[irony|lolcows and autists]], rarely using any other vernacular and exploding in impotent fury at those who didn't conform to their comforting language. Their [[batshit|completely healthy]] main hobby was {{kf|13723|sending people with autism money}}, then discussing how [[No|'''giving someone a source of income that is not required to be reported to the IRS completely trolled the recipient due to "tax evasion" reasons'''.]] | |||
Ironically enough these [[morons|1337 IRL-h4x0rs]] [https://turbotax.intuit.com/tax-tips/general/what-is-taxable-income/L8lh6lfkJ didn't realize that prepaid cards and cash counted as gifts due to no commercial services or goods being exchanged, and are therefore not necessary to declare on any tax form in the United States unless income was generated from the gift afterwards.] Since Chris-Chan never follows through on producing more comic updates on time and no one in their sound mind would see him as a business owner, [[lol|they basically end up giving him money for nothing except to autistically follow his actions when he spends it.]] | |||
{{center|{{frame|[[File:KiwiFarms-Donation1.png|900px|[[Stupid]] ]]|background=white|border=black}}}} | |||
{{center|{{frame|[[File:sonicrainboom3.png|center|900px|[[Stupid]] ]]|background=white|border=black}}}} | |||
{{center|{{frame|[[File:sonicrainboom2.png|center|900px|[[Stupid]] ]]|background=white|border=black}}}} | |||
Along with CWCki, they had another partner site where you can read about [[You|lowlifes]] called the Lolcow Wiki, which was Null's pathetic attempt to find meaning in his life after Chris Chan finally had sex. | |||
That was the day the mass of [[virgins|gentlemen]] at Kiwi Farms [[Truth|all found themselves less socially adept than a retarded manchild who drank his own cum]]. | |||
== Play Nice == | |||
[[File:KiwiFarms-NoFunAllowed.jpg|thumb|The most important rule.]] | |||
Despite being a forum dedicated to trolling, members of Kiwi Farms were [[Trolls trolling trolls|very delicate themselves]] [[Circlejerk|and required a strict set of rules devised by an authoritarian leader to protect them from being bullied. Failure to comply with these rules would result in an immediate ban]] and the admins [[Internet stalking|poking through all your private messages]] in an attempt to stamp out the root cause of your insubordination. | |||
<br><br> | |||
<div align="center"><div style="width:70%; background:#ecd5d8; padding-left:10px; font-family:verdana; color:#bc2a4d; border:1px solid #c58493; text-align:left"> | |||
<b>Forum Rules</b><br> | |||
Lolcows are bizarre people/groups/events, that are on the Internet, and respond negatively to people in a funny way. They are not countries, political figures, celebrities, your highschool bully, or some random YouTuber that isn't a drama queen.<br> | |||
• <b>Be civil.</b> Don't aggressively attack and insult the people or groups we talk about. Don't get emotionally charged about things that do not matter. If you need to tell people that you're better than someone, you're probably not.<br> | |||
• <b>Write descriptive topic titles.</b> "Hunger Mythos" is better than "Girl thinks she's a corgi". Keep them as brief as possible.<br> | |||
• <b>Hide your Powerlevel.</b> Avoid revealing intimate, personal information about yourself on public boards. These threads are not your personal blog, and we are not an asylum.<br> | |||
• <b>Don't White Knight.</b> Don't turn threads with people of interest into an intervention. You are not their protector. If you want to help, contact them privately.<br> | |||
• <b>No trolling plans.</b> Don't use this forum as a place to organize trolling efforts. We cannot control your behavior off-site, but expect to be banned and ridiculed if you do something embarrassing.<br> | |||
• <b>Do not create topics about forum members.</b> This extends to all existing members of the forum that were first discovered by their presence here. If you think that they deserve one, <span style="color:red"><u>ask staff</u></span> first. | |||
</div></div> | |||
<br> | |||
We, at Encyclopedia Dramatica, are kind enough to provide an accurate translation of these rules in the universally accepted language of [[Fact|English, without being a giant floppy vagina]]. | |||
*'''Be civil''': Disagreeing with another poster is only acceptable when addressing them with the honorific titles of "Sir" or [[No girls on the internet|"Ma'am"]] and ending all posts with a polite "Thank you" or "Cordially Yours" | |||
*'''Write descriptive topic titles''': Admins were too busy reading your private messages to rename threads, so please assist in optimizing their [[SEO]]. | |||
*'''Hide your powerlevel''': Forum users need to be reminded not to self-dox, as they tend to get excited and post personal information about themselves on a website dedicated to exploiting people's personal information. | |||
*'''Don't White Knight''': Unless of course someone is exposing Null, in which case you'll become a moderator. | |||
*'''No trolling plans''': Please keep trolling plans in private messages because the admins might shit a brick if they ever caught a [[Sue Basko|lolsuit]]. | |||
*'''[[Thin skin|Do not create topics about forum members]]''': Because members are not able to cope with bullying. | |||
== Gallery of [[Disgusting|Gorgeous]] [[Faggots|People]] == | |||
The users who frequented Kiwi Farms were exceptionally [[ugly|beautiful]] and full of [[autism|creativity]]. {{archive|QPVOz|For more pictures and stories of how none of Kiwi Farms' user-base can operate normally in society or hold down a job, click here.}} | |||
{{collapsegallery|How to take a Fat Girl Angle Shot 101|kiwigallery|center| | |||
<gallery perrow="5"> | |||
File:Kiwi Farms - Tell Me Im Beautiful.jpg|Kiwi Farms specializes in [[gay sex|asspats]] | |||
File:RAEL.png|This is user RAEL, be sure to read her [[whining|story]] about how useless she is below | |||
File:Kiwi Farms- Suicide Bomber.jpg|A [[fat|sweet]] [[suicide bomber|mamacita]] | |||
File:ICLoser.png|User Theicecreamman, [[old people|totally not trying to be cool to teenagers on the internet]] | |||
File:Philp_DeLici_aka_Ahuviya.jpg|User Hispanic Hitlermobile | |||
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5"> | |||
File:RogerRabbit.jpg|User Roger Rabbit | |||
File:MajorGeekLoser.png|User Geekboy400 | |||
File:SatanFagWannabe.png|[[Mexican|User Satan]] | |||
File:merriedxreldnahc.png|User Merriedxreldnahc | |||
File:Kiwi abilene.jpg|User Abilene | |||
File:Kiwi axiom.png|User Axiom | |||
File:Kiwi bungholio.png|User Bungholio | |||
File:Kiwi darkhorse816.jpg|User Darkhorse816 | |||
File:Kiwi fallensaint.png|User Fallensaint | |||
File:Framergirl420.png|User Framergirl420 | |||
File:Gamergirl140.jpg|User Gamergirl140, ex-girlfriend of The-Golden-Knight | |||
File:Kiwi grandnumberofmultiples.jpg|User Grandnumberofmultiples | |||
File:KatsuKittyFag.jpg|User KatsuKitty AKA "Gay Magi-Chan" | |||
File:Manajerkopdavisyeo.jpg|User Manajerkop, writer of the [[edgy|epic]] "[[shit|CWCollateral]]" | |||
File:Kiwi massif.png|User Massif | |||
File:Kiwi miraak.png|User Miraak | |||
File:Kiwi oglooger.png|User Oglooger | |||
File:Kiwi organic fapcup.jpg|User Organic Fapcup | |||
File:PineTarAlamoDefenderFag.jpg|User [[Rapist|Pine Tar]], who was banned from the forums for [[irony|threatening to rape another user]]. | |||
File:Rraygun.png|User Ronald Raygun | |||
File:Kiwi sigyn.png|User Sigyn | |||
File:Kiwi six.four.systems.png|User Six.four.systems | |||
File:Kiwi soccer hooligan.png|User Soccer Hooligan | |||
File:Kiwi strewth.png|User Strewth | |||
File:Kiwi trippinkahlua.png|User Trippinkahlua | |||
File:Kiwi unbovvered.png|User Unbovvered | |||
File:UserWaifu.jpg|User Waifu | |||
File:Kiwi wheat pasta.png|User Wheat Pasta | |||
File:Kiwi yawning asperchu.png|User Yawning Asperchu | |||
File:Kiwi ziltoid.png|User Ziltoid | |||
File:KiwiFarmsUser1.jpg | |||
File:KiwiFarms-user2.png | |||
</gallery>}} | |||
[[File:Kiwi Farms - Insecure About Uglies.jpg|center|300px| What the fuck are you talking about]] | |||
<br> | |||
== Quotes from the [[basement|Underground]] == | |||
<br> | |||
[[Image:KiwiFarmsBibleMessage.png|center|300px|<center>Spreading their nonsensical message to all users.</center>]] | |||
{{morphquote|quotes|background:white;width:100%;height:100%;|font-weight:bold | |||
|I have people on my own fucking website telling me what words to say and that is so fucking insulting| Null getting pissed about others trying to contribute to [[unwarranted self importance|his]] website '''{{archive|YnVTf}}''' | |||
|It's kind of like a less evolved civilization worshiping an average guy just because he is wearing pants and they think that's insanely advanced|EDF user Sugar Bombs commenting on Null's obsession with LikeICare, whom he considers to be the evil genius behind Encyclopedia Dramatica | |||
|First off, I feel worthless about my degree. I have a bachelor’s degree in [[LOL|history with a minor in gender studies]]. I keep trying to be positive over everything, but it’s disheartening to hear about how I have a [[feminism|useless major]] and I am destined to have a [[duh|job that doesn’t pay well]].| user averadiane, complaining about how she won't get paid a lot of money to argue that women totally fought at the Battle of the Alamo | |||
|I hate having emotions, especially ones that make me cry. I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember thanks to not only being bullied at school for it but also my dad either checking out emotionally or giving me verbal abuse whenever I started to cry as a kid (especially when he was the one who caused it, it seemed); I remember being a kid and wishing I could have my tear ducts surgically removed so that [[No|maybe then dad would love me]].| user sm0t, shedding light on his relationship with daddy | |||
|My hair cutter died within the past five years due to a car accident. That alone was difficult enough for me to handle, because I’d been visiting her since I was fourteen years old.|ahavayeshana, on [[bullshit|what true suffering is like]] | |||
|I called in sick today claiming I caught the stomach flu that’s been going around lately, but in reality I was in such awful menstrual pain that I was nearly vomiting.|Kiwi Farms user "red" proving that women don't belong in the workplace because of their periods | |||
|I… I don’t have friends. Well, I have one, but he’s pretty distant. I mean, I’m doing what I can to remain strong, but… It’s like… When you leave a person all by themselves, they will typically take care of themselves. When I am left alone, I will proceed to self-destruct. | |||
And I’ve been completely alone for a while. | |||
I can’t deal with life very well at all. Computers are my comfort zone. I will neglect everything in order to spend more time on them. My room, my responsibilities, my health. | |||
That’s because other people… Talking to them… I mean… They are out there, and… | |||
[[ok|Look, let’s try to approach this from a different angle.]] When I first joined CWCki Forums, I had a hidden intention I didn’t tell anybody - [[wut|one so secret, I even managed to obscure it from myself.]] I came here to be turned into a lolcow.| obnoxion chasing his wildest dreams of being made fun of by other retards | |||
|There is no way in hell I could handle a job and uni at the same time. My grades would absolutely plummet and I would probably flunk out. I shouldn’t have my hand forced like this|birdsim on the unfairness of reality | |||
|I’ve never had a job. Not even part-time. How’s that for mortifying? | |||
The problem is that I’m shy as hell and prefer not to deal with people. As a result, there are so few options for me that I feel like I’m doomed. [[Unwarranted self importance|Working as a cashier or waitress is completely out of the question.]] Stocking would be okay, but my mom is strongly against it because she feels it would only help me a little. I’d be fine with (and possibly even enjoy) an office job, like data entry, but the sad fact is that there are barely any offices where we live. I like biology in the sense of work centered around animals, but I wouldn’t wanna be a vet or vet’s assistant. [[lol|Blogging seems like a pipe dream at this point.]] | |||
When September comes, I don’t know what the fuck I’m gonna do, and my parents keep pestering me about it. I feel lost, terrified, and a few minutes ago I broke down during dinner because I couldn’t take it anymore. | |||
Volunteering at my local library or animal shelter would be a start, I suppose, and even if they didn’t pay me I’d get some experience. But after that, then what? I get my Bachelor’s and keep looking? I don’t feel like taking more classes because I don’t even know what I’d take to help start a career. [[No|Aside from writing]], there’s not much else I’m good at. [[Deviantart|I used to be into drawing, but my art skills just aren’t passable anymore.]] | |||
I have plenty of time, I just don’t know where or how to start. [[Chris Chan|*insert massive stress sigh*]]|kiwifarms.net user R.A.E.L on [[kill yourself|having no skills whatsoever]] | |||
|I’ve been physically violated by who I called my best friend, which I knew since 8 years. The thing is, nobody of my family/friends circle knows this - besides, this ex friend is a woman and when I try to introduce the subject of “females can be rapists, too” I get laughed at, which makes me feel even worse. Thanks to this I got trust issues and I can’t even enjoy alone time with my boyfriend without starting to tremble and cry. That, and frequent nightmares that involve abuse.|The Riddler, who believes [[feminism|women can be rapists]] | |||
|We have so much free time in this world thanks to rich autists. We're lucky to be using this free time and freedom of speech to hang out and talk about autists instead of working in a coal mine or making nicknacks for 7 cents an hour. Remember to check our privileges and that the lolcows did 9/11.|Kiwi Farms' userbase gloating about being able to drink vats of Code Red instead of being useful to society | |||
|All of you are retarded. This community is retarded. You guys have no concept of how to deal with things you don't like and that is absolutely fascinating considering what sort of a forum this is. I don't know how we ended up with a population that is 50% transgender/lgbt-"ally", but it has slowly rotted away at what the very notion of a lolcow is. We've become Imgur-lite, a shitty, reactionary website filled with easily offended prudes who can't even stomach something they don't like being on the same domain name as where they post. You people are so fucking easy to troll, all one has to do is make an alt account and say something disagreeable to end up with a 400 reply thread in under 12 hours.|Asperger's Lite | |||
|But when it gets quiet, I shake to the point of almost being sick. I’m still so scared I’ll lose what family I have left. | |||
I’ve been through PTSD before. I worked though it. I just thought I was stronger than this to go through it a second time. And I’m angry at myself for it.|2Spoopy, a user who claims to have PTSD because her father tried to raise her not to be a stripper | |||
|Hi all, took a break from the farms over winter, then on may 33 i had a stroke. Not even kidding. If thus is not ok, mods please remove, and guve me a good telling off. I need to get my wieght under control and have put uo a go fund me under joybicycle to try and buy a bike fir my health. Been iff eork since the stroke in hospital and home healung. Right side ischemic parietal, no paralysis, mild ataxia, so all things considered not nbad fine motor skills suck. Thanks for readin anothrr lkiwi @triptothemoon is on my fb and can verify.|Toasty, who can't spell because of a stroke except for the name of the gofundme account they set up | |||
|I love my family and everything that they have done for me but honestly, I’m so done with their bullshit. I don’t want to be like any of them. I wanna be my own person.|A Mighty Monarch explaining how [[emo|totally lame his family is for being supportive]] | |||
|A fully grown womyn with a professional acting career engaging in an edit war on Wikipedia over their birth name is fucking stupid and funny. If you can't see that, you're in the wrong place.|Null explaining why The New Yorker's cartoons are quite humorous | |||
|Monday, I had a bad dream about the guy I loved for 7 years. He came to see me at college before graduation, but instead of having sex with me, he wanted to hang out with topless, skinny girls. It was just like real life. Almost 2 years ago, he went to the Philippines to get some whore he met on the internet and he married her, leaving me absolutely devastated. [[Psycho|I almost strangled myself and I scratched myself all over when I found out.]] I still cry when I think about it, I didn’t think about it much when I was [[loser|unemployed]], because 100% of my thoughts went to trying to get a job. Now that I have a job again, it leaves me a lot of time to think*, and now due to that bad dream I had Monday I can’t stop thinking about how he chose her over me, and [[women|I’m always on the verge of tears over it]]. | |||
[[no|I know you’re probably thinking why don’t I try to date again]], well, [[Lol|that’s impossible when you’re ugly]]. [[Truth|That’s why he chose her over me]].|sparklemilhouse trying to get people to tell her she's pretty | |||
|Len is the fabled singularity of autism. He is that which all autism eventually leads to. We are looking at the literal heat death of the universe, and it's fucking a pillow and shitting its pants. I can't imagine a more undignified way for the world to end.|A Kiwi telling their opinion on Shaner | |||
|I'm very amused every time someone calls ED "satire". ED hasn't been satirical in years. It's closer to a bathroom stall in a seedy bar where people write "so and so sucks dicks!" on the walls in sharpie.|Kiwi Farms user Marvin is clearly not mad | |||
|I fell asleep driving in 2011. This was just a few weeks after one of my really good friends fell asleep driving, went airborne off the freeway, and managed to miss every single tree on the hillside on his way down. I fell asleep just a block from my house and almost crashed into a wooden light pole. Jerked the wheel away before my car could connect with the pole and only smashed the glass out of my sideview mirror which conveniently remained attached to the car. | |||
The body was not damaged but my struts and shocks were fucked up. I also ripped a hole clean through the sidewall of a tire. Exhausted as I was I couldn’t sleep and ended up going out to a movie with another of my friends. I called him on the verge of tears saying that whenever I closed my eyes all I saw was that [[cock|wooden light pole]] heading right for me.|User grandnumberofmultiples, [[female|who is not ready for driving]] or wooden poles | |||
|A fan of mine alerted me about this site and it's reputation about how they treat people with autism. Let me tell you that autism is not a laughing matter, it's what keeps you from standing up for yourself when someone puts a stickynote saying FAG on your locker, and it makes you feel like you are in a personal holocaust fearing that your autism will be converted into ashes. | |||
Why don't you people think about that carefully and put yourselves in their shoes?|An easycounter review user giving the site the negative review that it deserves}} | |||
== Summary of the Subforums == | |||
=== Active === | |||
[[File:ExtraForums.png|right|thumb|Other general forums for users to look at. In the early days of the site they were considered a secret.]] | |||
[[File:KiwiFarmsFedPost.png|thumb|Null hands over files to FBI for having his users [[Fedposting|Fedpost]].]] | |||
[[File:KiwiFarms-Donation-ChrisChan-VisaLog.png|thumb|This is the reward for sending Chris Chan a prepaid Visa: You obtain proof of what he is already reported to be doing, which is mostly eating burgers.]] | |||
*<b>[[Lolcows]]</b> - A haven for Personal Army requests and people obsessing about searching for the ''next CWC''. | |||
*<b>[[Christian Weston Chandler]]</b> - Discuss in extreme detail every single thing CWC posts on Facebook and deeply observe each word he types. You may even become CWC's own white knight. | |||
*<b>[[Ethan Ralph]]</b> - Sometimes refered to as the Gunt or a ragepig. He was one of the most active members of the GamerGate movement and the surge in anti-SJW YouTube. He went from far-right figurehead to internet laughing stock. Currently, he is seen as an A-log and a joke to his former fans. He hosts a gay podcast known as #Killstream. | |||
*<b>Beauty Parlour</b> - Hambeasts and trannies insult other hambeasts, cosplaying trannies, and [[Onision]]. #1 source of [[fedposting]] and a hugbox for Josh's angry TERF and lesbian audience. | |||
*<b>Animal Control</b> - Trollshielding furry orgy. | |||
*<b>Off-Topic</b> - Mostly consists of members [[irony|whining]] about their own personal issues. Only <s>handpicked</s> handicapped users are allowed in. | |||
*<b>Forum Discussion</b> - Used for complaining about Likeicare. | |||
*<b>Spergatory</b> - Locked threads that triggered the admins. | |||
*<b>Wiki Discussion</b> - Discuss the mind blistering walls of text Null writes as articles for his horrendous attempt at creating the [[Ohinternet|New ED]]. | |||
*<b>Top Secret Inner Circle</b> - Despite trolling being banned since KF's inception, this used to be a secret subforum where an elite caste of users could [[LOL|troll an autistic manchild by pulling the same fake girlfriend shit that they publicly decried as unfunny and old]]. After its exposure it has been used purely for shitposts. | |||
===Sent to Spergatory=== | |||
*[[File:JaceFace.png]] <b>[[Deagle Nation]]</b> - Talk about one of the biggest hugboxs in the entire website. [[Shit nobody cares about|Jace showed up and he told everyone "look at me guyz. I am an epic lolcow." Tryce who is Jace's best friend and leader of the Skullz proclaimed himself to be an "anarchist men's rights group". Months later after catching up to the events of Jace's and Tryce's actions, the hugbox was born. Tyce was caught by Kiwi Farms users using Jan Rankowski's Steam account, which led to the revelation that ParkourDude91 was a fictional character. Kiwi Farms users spotted a Steam account in a live stream linked to Jan Rankowski, a member of Million Dollar Extreme which led to the suspicion that Jace is a hoax causing, the words "Jace Connors is a hoax" were placed in big red letters at the top of the Kiwi Farms during or before 23 February 2015. It was found to be members of the Farms noticed a similarity between the faces of Rankowski and early Jace videos. It took a while for the sub-forum to die afterwords, until August 13th 2015 the forum was archived. ]] | |||
*<b>[[Sonichu]]</b> - Read {{kf|2278|retarded user fanfics}} and look at fanart of Chris's amazing OC. Nowadays this section of the site has been merged with the CWC subfourm. | |||
*<b>[[Ahuviya Harel|C.I.S. Center for Cultural Oppression]]</b> - Discuss everything that a filthy communist scumbag has to offer in his life. | |||
*<b>[[Brianna Wu]]</b> - Everyone's favorite nutty and delusional lolcow [[tranny]] [[John Walker Flynt|Brianna Wu]] now has his own section after thousands of pages discussing about his goal of being a congress[[man|woman]] and being the center attention of [[GamerGate]] 24/7. | |||
*<b>[[Moleman9000]]</b> - One of the first subfourms on a lolcow besides Chris-Chan. Enjoy stalking a sped on wikia who is known for producing a trippy fictional universe known as the Narva-Verse. | |||
*<s><b>[[The Entersphere]]</b></s> - A subforum so unfunny that it is often to be considered to be the worst subforum on Kiwi Farms. This subforum was full of weens, A-Logs, and cartoon watching manbabies. The man who was responsible for Mr. Enter's ED page was also responsible for various site and off-site drama that led to creation of the Entersphere. He was later doxxed for his retarded posts leaving behind a funny thread about a man who fucks duckies for a living. This user was forever mocked and ridiculed on the Internet causing him to disappear forever. This subforum triggered the admins more than any other thread within the Spergatory and was the worst until it was topped by [[fedposting]] in the Beauty Parlor which was so bad it killed the website. | |||
*<b>[[Tumblr|Tumblr (◡‿◡✿)]]</b> - Obsess over social justice warriors and fight for [[MGTOW|men's rights.]] | |||
*<s>[[Ghost|'''True Capitalist Radio''']] - True Capitalist Radio? That shit was so 2011.</s> Now dead due to no one caring. | |||
*<b>[[Darksydephil]]</b> - [[Sons of Kojima]] rejects and former members circlejerk about how bad DSP is at videogames, and get themselves doxed by other kiwis for being infested with internet AIDS. | |||
*<b>[[Loveshy|Loveshy Therapy Center]]</b> - Hahahahahaha. | |||
*<b>[[Fat|Amberlynn Reid]]</b> - An unfunny disgusting fat 600lb woman who lies about losing weight and dieting. Some forum posters jack off to her fat folds in secret, while others post because they are insecure about their own weight. | |||
*<b>[[Isabella Loretta Janke]]</b> - The Greatest Chris Chan troll of all time. Known for getting Chris Chan in jail. | |||
==Reviews== | |||
They are known for... well, actually, they are not known to many outside their forum other than to the people they [[stalk|search out in professional and cordial ways]] in order to attempt to gain growth of [[e-penis|understanding of the human condition]]. | |||
<center><gallery> | <center><gallery> | ||
File: | File:KiwiReview1.png | ||
File: | File:KiwiReview2.png | ||
File: | File:KiwiReview3.png | ||
File: | File:KiwiReview4.png | ||
File: | File:KiwiReview5.png | ||
File: | File:KiwiReview6.png | ||
</gallery></center> | </gallery></center> | ||
== | Apparently they are listed as a safe place for people with autism: [https://www.mywot.com/en/scorecard/kiwifarms.net WOT] | ||
We believe this is due to the large amount of [[retards|caring individuals]] with [[autism|empathy for those who are afflicted with mental illness]] on Kiwi Farms. | |||
<br> | |||
== [[Stupid|Well-thought out]] Videos Created By Kiwi Farms == | |||
<br> | |||
{{center| | |||
{{frame| | |||
{{videoframe|vg1|font-weight: bold;| | |||
|<youtube>Av8zAfOBZZ0</youtube> | |||
;Life imitates [[Fetal Alcohol Syndrome|art]] | |||
|<youtube>rinJY1F0YC4</youtube> | |||
;[[Neckbeard|KiwiFarmer]] video on Team Gamerfood.}} | |||
|}} | |||
}} | |||
<br> | |||
== Kiwi Farms Shut Down Using This One Neat Trick, Trolls Hate Him! == | |||
<br> | |||
[[File:Kiwifarms dead.png|thumb|right|Null's suicide letter.]] | |||
[[File:NullMurder.jpg|thumb|right]] | |||
[[File:NullMurder2.jpg|thumb|right]] | |||
<center>[[File:Alena BAWWW.PNG]] | |||
[[File:TombstoneKiwifarms.png|400px]][[File:Alena BAWWW.PNG]]<br><br></center> | |||
In mid-January 2017, Null's mom grounded him from the TV and Diet Coke because someone informed her [[Taco Bell|job]] about Kiwi Farms' existence, which lead her to be [[lol|fired]]. Null, a veteran of over 420 e-battles, remained ever calm. He wiped the sweat from his brow, murmured to himself, 'I'll show those dirty trolls', [[Girlvinyl|then took control of the situation by removing the Kiwi Farms site from the servers without informing the user base]]. | |||
<br><br> | |||
<center>[[File:KFNullSpeculation.png|600px]]</center> | |||
[[File:Threat for KF.png|right|thumb|Letter to Null: a/s/l?]] | |||
<br> | |||
This selfless act was not enough to save him from consequence, as his family was <b>literally</b> murdered to death afterwards. It is uncertain as to whether the murder took place over DSL or dial-up, but according to our local [[16-year-old girls|FBI experts]], it is impossible to survive a claw hammer attack through the internet, no matter how many proxies you hide behind. Afterwards, the heinous killers requested a non-redacted copy of the user and private messages tables, and a photo of Null's penis.<br><br> | |||
<center>[[File:NullMurder3.jpg|400px]]</center> | |||
<br> | |||
===nvm=== | |||
Sadly, Kiwifarms is back '''{{Archive|RgAbk|online}}'''. Null is trying to jew his userbase for even more shekels after the IRL drama. | |||
=== Troll's Remorse === | |||
[[Image:Doopieflamewar.png|thumb|right|300px|Is this the begining of the end for Null or will he become another of Doopie's bitches that hope for a reach around while Doopies fucks them in the ass?]] | |||
Having his ass handed to him earlier this year when his [[your mom|mother got fired]] and she made him shut down KIWI Farms, [[Jew|owner of the site]] Null has become [[pussy|afraid of his own shadow]] and ordered users to remove all references to [[Doopie DoOver]] that doesn't show her in a good light or kisses her ass because Doopie has started crying and [[an hero|threatening suicide]] in drama whore fashion.<br> | |||
== " | Since they all fall under the description of [[cuckold|omega male]] and will readily obey anyone that remotely resembles a [[girl]], they quickly obeyed their [[White trash|Trailor Park Princess]] and removed all [[Chris Chan]] sagas referencing Doopie because they both felt bad that they hurt her feelings and hoped that obeying their [[whore|Meth Head Monarch]] would get their [[blow job|dicks sucked]] for being so readily obedient.<br> | ||
*[[ | |||
*[[ | A possible alternate theory states that, Unlike [[Chris Chan]], Doopie comes with a large army of [[horny]] boys that will defend the honor of their [[Drugs|Bath Salt Baroness]]. Still [[coward|gunshy]] from his last [[Drama]] where he readily put his ass in the air with a flag planted in his [[asshole]] saying, '''"Dick Goes Here"''' and shut down KIWI Farms, Null willingly obeyed his new masters of unwashed boys, sent at him by Doopie, when they told him to leave their mistress alone because his mom has already threatened him that if she loses another job he will have to leave his [[basement]] and go get one. | ||
*[[ | |||
*[[ | === Doopie On Kiwi === | ||
[[File:Notice me doopie-1232.png|thumb|right|250px|Kiwi Farms to [[Doopie DoOver]], {{wayback|20180324192823|https://kiwifarms.net/members/doopie.17094/|title=Notice me}} Senpai]] | |||
After the [[Chris Chan]] incident Doopie DoOver felt the need to reafirm herself as a pretty girl. Needing a place that had no clue as to what a girl should look like, act like or sound like she parked her flabby pancake ass squarly at Kiwi Farms hoping to get all the little boys there riled up.<br> | |||
Once they figured out, like most people do, that she was only using them and hoping that they would support her at $25 a month for her [[Shit]]ty art kiwi farms quickly kicked her ass out and he was quickly forgotten about and replaced by another object of worship. | |||
===The Byuu DDoS=== | |||
A [[diaperfur]] [[SNES]] emulator developer by the name of {{twitter|byuu_san|Byuu}}{{trans}} had a thread on the site. Upon seeing the thread, he shat his diaper so hard that the massive amounts of shit in his body flew right out of his mouth and he decided to offer Null $120,000 to take down his thread. When Null didn't do it, Byuu told Null he was gonna become [[an hero]]. [[Leftist]] twitter went nuts over this and decided to [[Taking down ED|DDOS the farms]]. Some argue that the ebil Mango Farms was responsible for this faggotry. <s>Others know that Byuu faked his death.</s> HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS | |||
<center> [[File:Byuudeathcert.jpg|500px]] </center> | |||
===The Keffals DDoS and censorship=== | |||
In March 2022, internet [[cotton ceiling|transbian]] and overall trashbian [[Keffals]]{{trans}} decided that the Farms was getting free laughs at her expense; and—in an act of [[butthurt]]—s/he and his/her tranny army lashed out at the Farms by DDoSing the site and snitching. Being Tumblr tranny trash, s/he looked down at the exposed gash where its penis once was and cried about people giving honest opinions on the Internet. One internet tranny's humiliation from the internet laughing at them because they chopped off their dick proved to be the downfall (for now) of Kiwi Farms. | |||
After his DDoS attack (sponsored by his white knights) failed miserably, Keffals started a Twitter campaign known as #DropKiwiFarms; which successfully pressured [[Cloudflare]] to [[B&|kick out the Kiwi Farms from their service]]. The website soon moved to kiwifarms.ru and [https://ddos-guard.net/en DDoS-Guard]; but it didn't take long before Josh got B& from DDoS-Guard. Josh also got in trouble with the Icelandic domain registrar which was providing kiwifarms.is; putting said domain on hold due to Kiwi Farms being reported as a site hosting child porn. | |||
After temporarily leaving the Farms only accessible through Tor and the .top and .st domains (which are/were really slow); Josh got .net back up with another DDoS protection service known as [https://www.diamwall.com/ DiamWall]. Keffals and his army of white knights didn't take this lightly; and soon pressured DiamWall to B& Josh, '''again'''. .top was also taken down recently. After getting butthurt that the laws of the internet have changed to be more strict towards Fedposting and Doxxing in which the out of touch username can't seem to get behind. The users lashed out to review bomb the service but Keffal's being the social justice crybaby saw an opportunity to review bomb the website with positive reviews. | |||
With Josh currently playing the cat-and-mouse game against Keffals, his white knights and DDoS protection services; the best way to browse the Farms is through their Tor hidden service. There's also kiwifarms.st; which used to be quite slow and unstable, but seems to be getting faster and more reliable as time passes by. Which one you prefer depends on your [[CP|habits]]. | |||
In August 2022, a [[Skript kiddie|programmer sock-wearing tranny]] used a script injector to install [[Drugs|"troonshine"]] ([[hax]]) into the farms. On September 18, they got batshit insane with it and started [[deleting fucking everything]]; all of the forums were baleeted, Kiwifags were sad, [[nothing of value was lost]], and now the only way they can connect with each other is thru their spam-riddled Telegram chat, which is being monitored 24/7 by {{twitter|dropkiwifarms|lurking troons}}. | |||
The site currently spends its days [[nigger|jumping]] between whatever [[Poland|obscure]] [[series of tubes|ISPs]] will host it in [[Europe|countries]] [[Shit no one cares about|nobody has ever heard of.]] This usually only lasts until the [[Jew|CEO]] of the [[capitalism|company]] is [[Butthurt|flooded with emails]] [[fact|calling Null a pedophile]], decides the site isn't worth the [[autism|headache]] and [[shut it down|shuts it down.]] Because of this [[dying alone|cycle]] every second post on the site is [[crybaby|Null]] [[Incontinent Student Bodies|complaining]] about the hole he dug for himself by his [[usi|inability]] to [[tard rage|cooperate]] with anybody. Everyone who just wanted to read about [[lol-cow|cows]] or create [[lulz]] either left for [[Gaia Online|much]] [[Subeta|better]] [[AllTheFallen.ninja|websites]] or was [[Contesting your ban|banned]] by [[Shotacon|Null]] for not cosseting his [[A frank discussion of mental illness|ego.]] | |||
== Gallery == | |||
<br> | |||
{{cg|Kiwi Farms Gallery|gallery1|center|<gallery perrow="5"> | |||
File:AntiKiwiLogo.png | |||
File:KiwiNazi.png|The Kiwi Farms Third Reich | |||
File:EDKiwiMainDifference.png|Comparing Kiwis to EDiots | |||
File:KiwiFarms-HambeastPoem.jpg|A beautiful poem written about [[Feminist|a seriously hideous whale]] | |||
File:KiwiFarms-NullPedoHighSchool.png|Null kind of passed high school and he was a pedo a long time ago, he's changed | |||
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5"> | |||
File:KiwiFarms-UserFatterWat.png|[[No|Why do obeasts always think their tumorboobs are attractive?]] | |||
File:Farm's closed due to aids.jpg|Farm's closed due to [[Isabella Loretta Janke|toe fungus]] | |||
File:AntiKiwiPropagandaPoster.png|An honest campaign to get spergs to stop sperging over spergs. | |||
File:AutismSweeper.png|Sweeping up the dumb ratings | |||
File:KiwiStrong.jpg|How the Kiwis view themselves | |||
File:KiwiFarms-NullSnitch.png|Null being a [[snitch|responsible adult]] | |||
File:KiwiFarms-Review.png|What people generally think of KF | |||
File:KiwiFarms-NullPastebinMad.png|How dare you collaborate on a wiki | |||
File:KiwiFarms-Null-Angry.png|Null continuing his bitchfit | |||
File:Kiwifarms deagle nation denial.png|Olympic Gold in Mental Gymnastics | |||
File:NullReadsPMS.png|Null reading his PMs and being the Stalker that he is | |||
File:kiwifarms-Ignobilid-Satan-Pls.png|[[Irony|User Satan/Ignobilid getting upset at their personal information being on other websites]] | |||
File:KiwiFarms-RealityCheck.jpg|User Satan gets a reality check | |||
File:kiwiFarms-UserDreams-Freud.png|[[Oedipus|Average user of Kiwi Farms]] | |||
File:YahooAnswers.png | |||
File:DontGetSatire.jpg|Despite being supposed experts on lolcows they can't tell the difference between actual spergs and a [[GurigorloX|satire]]. | |||
</gallery>}} | |||
<br> | |||
==See Also== | |||
*[[EDF2]] | |||
*[[Ichverbot|Null]] | |||
*[[cow/|/cow/]] | |||
*[[Autistic Legion of Doom]] | |||
*[[Marjan Siklic]] | |||
*[[Wrong Planet]] | |||
*[[Avery Chicoine]] | |||
*[[Doopie DoOver/People]] | |||
*[[Eclipse]] A [[Evolution|Darwin Test]] devised by [[religion|G-D]] himself to tempt dumbass potheads like [[Doopie DoOver]] and the [[Retard|Short Bus]] collection of [[autistic|asspies]] over at Kiwi Farms into melting their eyes right out of their skulls by staring at it. | |||
*[[Byuu]] - Tried to extort the Farms by supposedly [[An Hero|killing himself]]. | |||
==External links== | ==External links== | ||
*[https://kiwifarms.net/ '''kiwifarms.net'''] - primary link. | |||
**[https://kiwifarms.st/ kiwifarms.st] - secondary link. | |||
**[http://kiwifarmsaaf4t2h7gc3dfc5ojhmqruw2nit3uejrpiagrxeuxiyxcyd.onion/ Kiwi Farms on Tor] - Use this if .net is offline and the clearnet mirrors are all offline or slow. | |||
*<s>[https://autism.cool Cool Autism!] - The best successor forum</s> <b>GONE</b> '''{{archive|N27Tg|(Archived)}}''' | |||
*{{Steamgroup|kiwifarms|Kiwi Farms Steam group.}} | |||
*{{EDF|thread|kiwifarms-thread-remake.2563|Kiwi Farms thread on EDF6}} | |||
**{{EDF|thread|the-final-solution-to-the-kiwi-question.4358|EDF6 thread discussing the Keffals situation}} | |||
*[[File:Tumblricon.png]]{{archive|QPVOz|xzyzzx-xzyzzx}} - Tumblr account dedicated to doxing Kiwi Farm users (lol) | |||
*[https://www.mixcloud.com/discover/kiwi-farms/ A shitty podcast called the Lolcast,] [[Truth|which is so unfunny that several people have died from its overall terribleness.]] Mostly circlejerking. | |||
*{{archive|KoCxZ|Lolcow Wiki}} - Defunct wiki dedicating to documenting lolcows across the internet, used KF's database. Domain was siezed around the time the Keffals bullshit was happening. | |||
===Null=== | |||
*[https://forum.blockland.us/index.php?topic=182825 Joshua Moon and Personal Agendas] - Null's 121 page thread on a fucking [[Onideus|lego]] forum. | |||
*'''{{archive|2sfup|Obamatron My Best Friend}}''' - Null's response to Autism Cool. | |||
*'''{{archive|eKd8m|The Null Chronicles}}''' - Autism Cool's thread on Null. | |||
===Reviews=== | |||
*<s>[http://cwcki.shoutwiki.com/wiki/Main_Page CWCKI]</s> - A wiki dedicated to documenting Kiwi Farms users. Now dead, but you can still browse {{wayback|http://cwcki.shoutwiki.com:80/wiki/Main_Page|20150403024001|title=an archived version}}. | |||
*'''{{archive|SzQbx|Lookism's Review}}''' - Lookism reviews the site | |||
*'''{{archive|qpbBw|Wrong Planet Review}}''' - Self diagnosed autists give their opinion on Kiwi Farms. | |||
*'''{{archive|oSZXP|Kiwi Farms ED Article}}''' - Kiwis discuss this article. Now [[bawwwlocked|locked]] by Null. | |||
*'''{{archive|DRz5K|Kiwi Farms Reviews}}''' - Kiwi Farm thread responding to their reviews. | |||
===/cow/ threads=== | |||
*'''{{archive|IkFQw|/cow/'s Kiwi Farms thread}}''' in which Null shows up to defend his honor. | |||
*<s>[https://8ch.net/cow/res/125119+50.html Kiwi Farms ED Project]</s>'''{{archive|Am47v}}''' - Some faggot makes a [[X is not your personal army|PAR]] and gets rightfully shot the fuck down. | |||
<br> | |||
{{lolcows}} | |||
{{Maddox}} | |||
{{Goodguys}} | |||
{{sites}} | {{sites}} | ||
{{trolls}} | |||
{{#setlogo:Lolcow Wiki Logo.png}} | |||
<br> | |||
{{timeline|Featured article August 19 & 20, [[2015]]|[[Telephone Ring Ring]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Project Harpoon]]}} | |||
{{timeline|Featured article January 27 & 28, [[2017]]|[[Antifa]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Barron Trump]]}} | |||
{{Timeline|Featured article August 25 and 26, [[2022]]|[[Nick Fuentes]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Stephen Paddock]]}} |
Latest revision as of 01:52, 13 August 2024
The current link for Kiwi Farms is https://kiwifarms.st/. If that link doesn't work or is slow, visit Kiwi Farms's Tor hidden service. |
Run by Null, the Kiwi Farms is quite the lovely internet forum board consisting of a user base that was so frustrated that their favorite show on Nickelodeon got cancelled that they decided to seclude themselves from the outside world and create a sprite-and-semen cocktail known as the CWCki. Each user had evolved from being those who were simply curious about Chris Chan to being a top internet sleuth, using the formidable power of Google's engines to bring terror in the form of elite cyberhacking and serious consequences for rousing their fury to all who oppose their mighty keyboards. They were known for being as equally talented as their stalk victims, posting endless threads about "lolcows", and using the forum as their personal Wordpress due to not having anyone else to talk to about getting fired from Pizza Hut. Many users were noted to have some kind of mental illness, so please do not attempt to approach them without taking proper precautions.
Eventually, someone threatened Null's family and he ran off like the pussy he is. Enemies of Null, such as Vordrak and Oliver D. Smith cheered and claimed to be responsible for the "victory," when suddenly the site came back online, and their vengeful rage was felt all around the world.
Unlike the græt Encyclopædia Dramatica, which is always open to new users, the Kiwi Farms are closed to new users about half of the time; due to either lulz reaching high levels (remember that the Farms are a hugbox, unlike the ED Forums), or because the admins are retarded.
Kiwi Farms in a nutshell can either be seen as the last bastion of freedom of speech or as retarded gayops for coping TERFs and incels. As of 2022 2023 going on 2024, the site has been pushed to the dark web for attacking and deadnaming trannies.
A Prequel to Epic Failure
The users of the CWCki forums eventually realized that their object of affection was not the only person on the internet who could provide them with the lulz they so desperately crave, so they followed the path of their beloved senpai once more and expanded the forums to include other special individuals. This proved to be mildly confusing to the users, who cried out in one voice, "I DO NOT LIKE CHANGE" and nervously clutched their Life Alert buttons. The forum was then renamed to "Kiwi Farms", a very rough phonetic approximation with a dash of imagination of "CWCki Forums", in February 2015 by some amazing individual.
Null gradually took over Kiwi Farms' forum as other people with were arrested by the FBI and moved on to long prison terms to get ass-raped. He spends all his time making sure that there is no fun to be had on the forums as well as helping everyone on his site lose weight by drinking no less than 37 Coke Zeros a day. Currently some of the old mods from that era reside in a website known as cwcki.club which is a semi dead but active forum ran by Glaive and Hellrasier
How the Average Kiwi Farms User Spent Their Day
Everyone on the KF website had sob stories about being molested, so you can guarantee some of their internal wiring has come loose. They stalked and cataloged people they repetitively refered to as lolcows and autists, rarely using any other vernacular and exploding in impotent fury at those who didn't conform to their comforting language. Their completely healthy main hobby was sending people with autism money, then discussing how giving someone a source of income that is not required to be reported to the IRS completely trolled the recipient due to "tax evasion" reasons.
Ironically enough these 1337 IRL-h4x0rs didn't realize that prepaid cards and cash counted as gifts due to no commercial services or goods being exchanged, and are therefore not necessary to declare on any tax form in the United States unless income was generated from the gift afterwards. Since Chris-Chan never follows through on producing more comic updates on time and no one in their sound mind would see him as a business owner, they basically end up giving him money for nothing except to autistically follow his actions when he spends it.
Along with CWCki, they had another partner site where you can read about lowlifes called the Lolcow Wiki, which was Null's pathetic attempt to find meaning in his life after Chris Chan finally had sex.
That was the day the mass of gentlemen at Kiwi Farms all found themselves less socially adept than a retarded manchild who drank his own cum.
Play Nice
Despite being a forum dedicated to trolling, members of Kiwi Farms were very delicate themselves and required a strict set of rules devised by an authoritarian leader to protect them from being bullied. Failure to comply with these rules would result in an immediate ban and the admins poking through all your private messages in an attempt to stamp out the root cause of your insubordination.
Forum Rules
Lolcows are bizarre people/groups/events, that are on the Internet, and respond negatively to people in a funny way. They are not countries, political figures, celebrities, your highschool bully, or some random YouTuber that isn't a drama queen.
• Be civil. Don't aggressively attack and insult the people or groups we talk about. Don't get emotionally charged about things that do not matter. If you need to tell people that you're better than someone, you're probably not.
• Write descriptive topic titles. "Hunger Mythos" is better than "Girl thinks she's a corgi". Keep them as brief as possible.
• Hide your Powerlevel. Avoid revealing intimate, personal information about yourself on public boards. These threads are not your personal blog, and we are not an asylum.
• Don't White Knight. Don't turn threads with people of interest into an intervention. You are not their protector. If you want to help, contact them privately.
• No trolling plans. Don't use this forum as a place to organize trolling efforts. We cannot control your behavior off-site, but expect to be banned and ridiculed if you do something embarrassing.
• Do not create topics about forum members. This extends to all existing members of the forum that were first discovered by their presence here. If you think that they deserve one, ask staff first.
We, at Encyclopedia Dramatica, are kind enough to provide an accurate translation of these rules in the universally accepted language of English, without being a giant floppy vagina.
- Be civil: Disagreeing with another poster is only acceptable when addressing them with the honorific titles of "Sir" or "Ma'am" and ending all posts with a polite "Thank you" or "Cordially Yours"
- Write descriptive topic titles: Admins were too busy reading your private messages to rename threads, so please assist in optimizing their SEO.
- Hide your powerlevel: Forum users need to be reminded not to self-dox, as they tend to get excited and post personal information about themselves on a website dedicated to exploiting people's personal information.
- Don't White Knight: Unless of course someone is exposing Null, in which case you'll become a moderator.
- No trolling plans: Please keep trolling plans in private messages because the admins might shit a brick if they ever caught a lolsuit.
- Do not create topics about forum members: Because members are not able to cope with bullying.
Gallery of Gorgeous People
The users who frequented Kiwi Farms were exceptionally beautiful and full of creativity. For more pictures and stories of how none of Kiwi Farms' user-base can operate normally in society or hold down a job, click here.
-
Kiwi Farms specializes in asspats
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This is user RAEL, be sure to read her story about how useless she is below
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User Theicecreamman, totally not trying to be cool to teenagers on the internet
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User Hispanic Hitlermobile
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User Roger Rabbit
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User Geekboy400
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User Merriedxreldnahc
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User Abilene
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User Axiom
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User Bungholio
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User Darkhorse816
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User Fallensaint
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User Framergirl420
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User Gamergirl140, ex-girlfriend of The-Golden-Knight
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User Grandnumberofmultiples
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User KatsuKitty AKA "Gay Magi-Chan"
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User Manajerkop, writer of the epic "CWCollateral"
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User Massif
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User Miraak
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User Oglooger
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User Organic Fapcup
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User Pine Tar, who was banned from the forums for threatening to rape another user.
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User Ronald Raygun
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User Sigyn
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User Six.four.systems
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User Soccer Hooligan
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User Strewth
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User Trippinkahlua
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User Unbovvered
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User Waifu
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User Wheat Pasta
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User Yawning Asperchu
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User Ziltoid
Quotes from the Underground
Previous Quote | Next Quote
Summary of the Subforums
Active
- Lolcows - A haven for Personal Army requests and people obsessing about searching for the next CWC.
- Christian Weston Chandler - Discuss in extreme detail every single thing CWC posts on Facebook and deeply observe each word he types. You may even become CWC's own white knight.
- Ethan Ralph - Sometimes refered to as the Gunt or a ragepig. He was one of the most active members of the GamerGate movement and the surge in anti-SJW YouTube. He went from far-right figurehead to internet laughing stock. Currently, he is seen as an A-log and a joke to his former fans. He hosts a gay podcast known as #Killstream.
- Beauty Parlour - Hambeasts and trannies insult other hambeasts, cosplaying trannies, and Onision. #1 source of fedposting and a hugbox for Josh's angry TERF and lesbian audience.
- Animal Control - Trollshielding furry orgy.
- Off-Topic - Mostly consists of members whining about their own personal issues. Only
handpickedhandicapped users are allowed in. - Forum Discussion - Used for complaining about Likeicare.
- Spergatory - Locked threads that triggered the admins.
- Wiki Discussion - Discuss the mind blistering walls of text Null writes as articles for his horrendous attempt at creating the New ED.
- Top Secret Inner Circle - Despite trolling being banned since KF's inception, this used to be a secret subforum where an elite caste of users could troll an autistic manchild by pulling the same fake girlfriend shit that they publicly decried as unfunny and old. After its exposure it has been used purely for shitposts.
Sent to Spergatory
- Deagle Nation - Talk about one of the biggest hugboxs in the entire website. Jace showed up and he told everyone "look at me guyz. I am an epic lolcow." Tryce who is Jace's best friend and leader of the Skullz proclaimed himself to be an "anarchist men's rights group". Months later after catching up to the events of Jace's and Tryce's actions, the hugbox was born. Tyce was caught by Kiwi Farms users using Jan Rankowski's Steam account, which led to the revelation that ParkourDude91 was a fictional character. Kiwi Farms users spotted a Steam account in a live stream linked to Jan Rankowski, a member of Million Dollar Extreme which led to the suspicion that Jace is a hoax causing, the words "Jace Connors is a hoax" were placed in big red letters at the top of the Kiwi Farms during or before 23 February 2015. It was found to be members of the Farms noticed a similarity between the faces of Rankowski and early Jace videos. It took a while for the sub-forum to die afterwords, until August 13th 2015 the forum was archived.
- Sonichu - Read retarded user fanfics and look at fanart of Chris's amazing OC. Nowadays this section of the site has been merged with the CWC subfourm.
- C.I.S. Center for Cultural Oppression - Discuss everything that a filthy communist scumbag has to offer in his life.
- Brianna Wu - Everyone's favorite nutty and delusional lolcow tranny Brianna Wu now has his own section after thousands of pages discussing about his goal of being a congresswoman and being the center attention of GamerGate 24/7.
- Moleman9000 - One of the first subfourms on a lolcow besides Chris-Chan. Enjoy stalking a sped on wikia who is known for producing a trippy fictional universe known as the Narva-Verse.
The Entersphere- A subforum so unfunny that it is often to be considered to be the worst subforum on Kiwi Farms. This subforum was full of weens, A-Logs, and cartoon watching manbabies. The man who was responsible for Mr. Enter's ED page was also responsible for various site and off-site drama that led to creation of the Entersphere. He was later doxxed for his retarded posts leaving behind a funny thread about a man who fucks duckies for a living. This user was forever mocked and ridiculed on the Internet causing him to disappear forever. This subforum triggered the admins more than any other thread within the Spergatory and was the worst until it was topped by fedposting in the Beauty Parlor which was so bad it killed the website.- Tumblr (◡‿◡✿) - Obsess over social justice warriors and fight for men's rights.
True Capitalist Radio - True Capitalist Radio? That shit was so 2011.Now dead due to no one caring.- Darksydephil - Sons of Kojima rejects and former members circlejerk about how bad DSP is at videogames, and get themselves doxed by other kiwis for being infested with internet AIDS.
- Loveshy Therapy Center - Hahahahahaha.
- Amberlynn Reid - An unfunny disgusting fat 600lb woman who lies about losing weight and dieting. Some forum posters jack off to her fat folds in secret, while others post because they are insecure about their own weight.
- Isabella Loretta Janke - The Greatest Chris Chan troll of all time. Known for getting Chris Chan in jail.
Reviews
They are known for... well, actually, they are not known to many outside their forum other than to the people they search out in professional and cordial ways in order to attempt to gain growth of understanding of the human condition.
Apparently they are listed as a safe place for people with autism: WOT
We believe this is due to the large amount of caring individuals with empathy for those who are afflicted with mental illness on Kiwi Farms.
Well-thought out Videos Created By Kiwi Farms
Previous Video | Next Video |
Kiwi Farms Shut Down Using This One Neat Trick, Trolls Hate Him!
In mid-January 2017, Null's mom grounded him from the TV and Diet Coke because someone informed her job about Kiwi Farms' existence, which lead her to be fired. Null, a veteran of over 420 e-battles, remained ever calm. He wiped the sweat from his brow, murmured to himself, 'I'll show those dirty trolls', then took control of the situation by removing the Kiwi Farms site from the servers without informing the user base.
This selfless act was not enough to save him from consequence, as his family was literally murdered to death afterwards. It is uncertain as to whether the murder took place over DSL or dial-up, but according to our local FBI experts, it is impossible to survive a claw hammer attack through the internet, no matter how many proxies you hide behind. Afterwards, the heinous killers requested a non-redacted copy of the user and private messages tables, and a photo of Null's penis.
nvm
Sadly, Kiwifarms is back online. Null is trying to jew his userbase for even more shekels after the IRL drama.
Troll's Remorse
Having his ass handed to him earlier this year when his mother got fired and she made him shut down KIWI Farms, owner of the site Null has become afraid of his own shadow and ordered users to remove all references to Doopie DoOver that doesn't show her in a good light or kisses her ass because Doopie has started crying and threatening suicide in drama whore fashion.
Since they all fall under the description of omega male and will readily obey anyone that remotely resembles a girl, they quickly obeyed their Trailor Park Princess and removed all Chris Chan sagas referencing Doopie because they both felt bad that they hurt her feelings and hoped that obeying their Meth Head Monarch would get their dicks sucked for being so readily obedient.
A possible alternate theory states that, Unlike Chris Chan, Doopie comes with a large army of horny boys that will defend the honor of their Bath Salt Baroness. Still gunshy from his last Drama where he readily put his ass in the air with a flag planted in his asshole saying, "Dick Goes Here" and shut down KIWI Farms, Null willingly obeyed his new masters of unwashed boys, sent at him by Doopie, when they told him to leave their mistress alone because his mom has already threatened him that if she loses another job he will have to leave his basement and go get one.
Doopie On Kiwi
After the Chris Chan incident Doopie DoOver felt the need to reafirm herself as a pretty girl. Needing a place that had no clue as to what a girl should look like, act like or sound like she parked her flabby pancake ass squarly at Kiwi Farms hoping to get all the little boys there riled up.
Once they figured out, like most people do, that she was only using them and hoping that they would support her at $25 a month for her Shitty art kiwi farms quickly kicked her ass out and he was quickly forgotten about and replaced by another object of worship.
The Byuu DDoS
A diaperfur SNES emulator developer by the name of Byuu⚧ had a thread on the site. Upon seeing the thread, he shat his diaper so hard that the massive amounts of shit in his body flew right out of his mouth and he decided to offer Null $120,000 to take down his thread. When Null didn't do it, Byuu told Null he was gonna become an hero. Leftist twitter went nuts over this and decided to DDOS the farms. Some argue that the ebil Mango Farms was responsible for this faggotry. Others know that Byuu faked his death. HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS
The Keffals DDoS and censorship
In March 2022, internet transbian and overall trashbian Keffals⚧ decided that the Farms was getting free laughs at her expense; and—in an act of butthurt—s/he and his/her tranny army lashed out at the Farms by DDoSing the site and snitching. Being Tumblr tranny trash, s/he looked down at the exposed gash where its penis once was and cried about people giving honest opinions on the Internet. One internet tranny's humiliation from the internet laughing at them because they chopped off their dick proved to be the downfall (for now) of Kiwi Farms.
After his DDoS attack (sponsored by his white knights) failed miserably, Keffals started a Twitter campaign known as #DropKiwiFarms; which successfully pressured Cloudflare to kick out the Kiwi Farms from their service. The website soon moved to kiwifarms.ru and DDoS-Guard; but it didn't take long before Josh got B& from DDoS-Guard. Josh also got in trouble with the Icelandic domain registrar which was providing kiwifarms.is; putting said domain on hold due to Kiwi Farms being reported as a site hosting child porn.
After temporarily leaving the Farms only accessible through Tor and the .top and .st domains (which are/were really slow); Josh got .net back up with another DDoS protection service known as DiamWall. Keffals and his army of white knights didn't take this lightly; and soon pressured DiamWall to B& Josh, again. .top was also taken down recently. After getting butthurt that the laws of the internet have changed to be more strict towards Fedposting and Doxxing in which the out of touch username can't seem to get behind. The users lashed out to review bomb the service but Keffal's being the social justice crybaby saw an opportunity to review bomb the website with positive reviews.
With Josh currently playing the cat-and-mouse game against Keffals, his white knights and DDoS protection services; the best way to browse the Farms is through their Tor hidden service. There's also kiwifarms.st; which used to be quite slow and unstable, but seems to be getting faster and more reliable as time passes by. Which one you prefer depends on your habits.
In August 2022, a programmer sock-wearing tranny used a script injector to install "troonshine" (hax) into the farms. On September 18, they got batshit insane with it and started deleting fucking everything; all of the forums were baleeted, Kiwifags were sad, nothing of value was lost, and now the only way they can connect with each other is thru their spam-riddled Telegram chat, which is being monitored 24/7 by lurking troons.
The site currently spends its days jumping between whatever obscure ISPs will host it in countries nobody has ever heard of. This usually only lasts until the CEO of the company is flooded with emails calling Null a pedophile, decides the site isn't worth the headache and shuts it down. Because of this cycle every second post on the site is Null complaining about the hole he dug for himself by his inability to cooperate with anybody. Everyone who just wanted to read about cows or create lulz either left for much better websites or was banned by Null for not cosseting his ego.
Gallery
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The Kiwi Farms Third Reich
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Comparing Kiwis to EDiots
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A beautiful poem written about a seriously hideous whale
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Null kind of passed high school and he was a pedo a long time ago, he's changed
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Farm's closed due to toe fungus
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An honest campaign to get spergs to stop sperging over spergs.
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Sweeping up the dumb ratings
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How the Kiwis view themselves
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Null being a responsible adult
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What people generally think of KF
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How dare you collaborate on a wiki
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Null continuing his bitchfit
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Olympic Gold in Mental Gymnastics
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Null reading his PMs and being the Stalker that he is
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User Satan gets a reality check
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Despite being supposed experts on lolcows they can't tell the difference between actual spergs and a satire.
See Also
- EDF2
- Null
- /cow/
- Autistic Legion of Doom
- Marjan Siklic
- Wrong Planet
- Avery Chicoine
- Doopie DoOver/People
- Eclipse A Darwin Test devised by G-D himself to tempt dumbass potheads like Doopie DoOver and the Short Bus collection of asspies over at Kiwi Farms into melting their eyes right out of their skulls by staring at it.
- Byuu - Tried to extort the Farms by supposedly killing himself.
External links
- kiwifarms.net - primary link.
- kiwifarms.st - secondary link.
- Kiwi Farms on Tor - Use this if .net is offline and the clearnet mirrors are all offline or slow.
Cool Autism! - The best successor forumGONE (Archived)- Kiwi Farms Steam group.
- Kiwi Farms thread on EDF6
- xzyzzx-xzyzzx - Tumblr account dedicated to doxing Kiwi Farm users (lol)
- A shitty podcast called the Lolcast, which is so unfunny that several people have died from its overall terribleness. Mostly circlejerking.
- Lolcow Wiki - Defunct wiki dedicating to documenting lolcows across the internet, used KF's database. Domain was siezed around the time the Keffals bullshit was happening.
Null
- Joshua Moon and Personal Agendas - Null's 121 page thread on a fucking lego forum.
- Obamatron My Best Friend - Null's response to Autism Cool.
- The Null Chronicles - Autism Cool's thread on Null.
Reviews
CWCKI- A wiki dedicated to documenting Kiwi Farms users. Now dead, but you can still browse an archived version.- Lookism's Review - Lookism reviews the site
- Wrong Planet Review - Self diagnosed autists give their opinion on Kiwi Farms.
- Kiwi Farms ED Article - Kiwis discuss this article. Now locked by Null.
- Kiwi Farms Reviews - Kiwi Farm thread responding to their reviews.
/cow/ threads
- /cow/'s Kiwi Farms thread in which Null shows up to defend his honor.
Kiwi Farms ED Project(archive) - Some faggot makes a PAR and gets rightfully shot the fuck down.
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Key Concepts
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Featured article August 19 & 20, 2015 | ||
Preceded by Telephone Ring Ring |
Kiwi Farms | Succeeded by Project Harpoon |
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Featured article August 25 and 26, 2022 | ||
Preceded by Nick Fuentes |
Kiwi Farms | Succeeded by Stephen Paddock |