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Tyler Weinman: Difference between revisions
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Latest revision as of 00:00, 11 May 2012
FACT ALERT: OMG THE CHARGES WERE DROPPED, THAT MEANS TYLER IS INNOCENT!!11!!11 This article now stands as a time-capsule for prior lulz and is proof that /b/ can in fact make mistakes. |
Plenty of sick fucks abuse and slaughter cats. Some knock them around for fun, while other subhumans prefer to murder them in microwaves and stoves. A contender for the (alleged) ultimate high score in feline slaughter is Tyler Weinman, a creepy little suburbanite who was accused of mutilating and killing over a dozen cats prior to his recent arrest and exoneration.
Details
Weinman's parents are divorced, he likes dogs, and he acts like an innocent angel in an attempt to conceal his smartass persona. His standard M.O. is to gut and crush the skulls of his victims, and conveniently leave them on the front yards of their owners. He's also found the time to gouge out the eyes and cut off the snout of one of his earlier targets.
Experts speculate that his hatred of cats may be a result of being raepd by furries at an early age.
BUSTED, FGT
In a lame attempt to appear innocent, Tyler joined a Failbook group devoted to catching him, which retroactively served to draw more attention to him. Undercover police arrested him during a party on his prom night, booked him while he was still wearing his faggoty tuxedo and made him miss his dance.
—Kyle Hantzis, friend of Tyler. |
—Undercover cop to Tyler's friends after arresting him. |
—Anon |
Out On Bond
For whatever reason, a whopping $249,000 was collected to pay Tyler's bail. However, police have recovered knives and cutting tools hidden in his room that will be tested for kitty DNA, and with the use of a GPA device, have also determined that Tyler's car was near the scenes of the crimes around the times that they occurred, which he has desperately denied. The piggies have also found scratches on his body that might have been inflicted by his victims.
WHOOPS
According to numerous investigating officers who have no reason to jeopardize their careers by lying, Weinman twice alluded to an admission while trying to make a deal with them.[1]
—Tyler, having not yet struck a deal |
—Tyler, when asked by detectives what should happen to the cat killer |
/b/'s Reaction
—Anon telling it like it is. |
—Rinse, lather, repeat. |
—Sources say this user might be the real killer. |
Free the Cat Killer
To make matters more interesting, Tyler's butt-buddies, local sluts, and mom have established a Facebook group asserting his innocence. According to them, he's the OJ Simpson of cat killers, and must be innocent. The members of this group are reported to hate cats, and more notably tend to fap to pictures of dogs.
Exonerated
On the 26th of November, 2010, Tyler was cleared of all charges against him. According to Miami local news, the State Attorney's Office dropped all charges when "Medical testimony determined the cats were killed by predatory animals and not a human being." Apparently, these predatory animals are heartless monsters who can cut open animals with surgical precision and leave them in their owners' front lawns on 19 separate occasions. Here you were, thinking that the only monsters in Miami are Jews.
External Links
- Anti-Tyler site that features his complete criminal record Note: Bought up by pro-tylerfags
- [2] Complete legal dox. Start on page 47 for summary. TL;DR : SHIT DOESN'T ADD UP
Weinman's lame attempts to appear innocent online.BALEETED!- Weinman's arrest.
- Mounting evidence against the little freak
Tyler's near-admissionALSO BALEETED!- Freed from the surly bonds of house arrest to celebrate Thanksgiving
See Also